thanks to She Writes Press for providing an ARC of this book through netgalley.

This is a book you will either love or you won't and you will feel passionately about your reasoning.

This is a pretty deep read- lot of personal reflection that the characters go through. Spanning decades, we get to see the mother-son relationship of Fay and Dickie evolve and change, while exploring the outcomes of their decisions and how patterns can span generations.

This book was dark and delved into trauma. My main issue is that I could not tell if the book was trying to redeem Fay. While I understand that she went through trauma, what she did to her son is unforgivable.

This is the story of a mother and son (Fay & Dickie) separated due to complicated circumstances and the impact of that separation on both of their lives.
this book deals with so many things: child abandonment, disability, abuse, LGBTQ, disfigurement, homelessness…

Such an important read!

i really wanted to like this but i find the switch of perspectives somewhat 'green' and the storytelling itself is rather jejune. also, i am not sure why this book is being tagged as queer on GR and here cause the story only tangentially touches on lgbtq+ realities.

Burdened by the guilt of allowing her son Dickie to succumb to polio as a child, carnival performer Fay abandons him with her abusive boyfriend to run off to Vietnam on a whim of raising money for better therapy/to escape the grind of her responsibilities, depending on how much leeway you want to give Fay. Ground down and humiliated, Dickie kills the boyfriend and runs away, only to find life isn't really better anywhere else.

My experience of reading What We Give, What We Take has left me feeling quite conflicted. Relentlessly bleak and depressing, it threw up a lot of unresolved emotions and is a difficult book to read. I don't know if I was meant to sympathise with Fay. I think I wasn't? Yet, I really did. She's very much a victim - of rape, exploitation, trafficking, arguably, having had her passport confiscated by her shady boss - but on the whole she's painted as a vindictive monster. I can't quite tell if the narrative agrees with the characters who consider her such, but i don't.

I felt the first Act, following fifteen-year-old Dickie until the boyfriend's death, was the strongest section of the book. I empathised deeply with him, and thought this section was incredibly well-written and heartfelt. Unfortunately, as the book went on, I felt less and less interested and engaged in the story, as it became clear things were just going to continue to be ruthlessly horrific for everyone, always. I guess I just don't enjoy utterly hopeless stories that relish twisting the knife with absolutely no mercy. Again, I come back to the fact I enjoy dark stories, as long as there's even a touch of hope or light to offer some reason to keep going through such suffering.

My rating is due to personally not liking the book, and not a reflection of the writing quality, which I think deserves at least 3*, but ultimately I was just left quite deflated and disheartened. Having been shelved in the LGBTQIA section of NetGalley, I was personally hoping for a little more exploration of queer representation during the course of the story, but I understand if this wasn't part of the author's vision. I would suggest reading with care, as this is a dark book that definitely has the potential to get under your skin.

I am grateful to NetGalley and the publisher for providing an ARC of What We Give, What We Take. These opinions are my own.

3 Stars

I think the blurb for this book was a bit misleading, as I was expecting the journey before/during Fay’s trip to Vietnam to be a small portion of the novel, when it was over half. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing, but I wish it was portrayed a bit better.

Overall, this book was just a slow read. It took me until about 63% through it to really want to keep reading and not put it down. The novel was split into multiple sections, some told by Fay and some by Dickie. Dickie’s were written in first person, while Fay’s were written in third person, so there was always a switch to the writing throughout the parts.

The characters’ flaws are a main part of the book, and their work to overcome them. We were able to really see in the insides of Dickie’s and Fay’s minds, how their thoughts worked, and the little things that only they would notice.

Fay left Dickie with her abusive boyfriend to escape to Vietnam to perform at the carney, after taking off from the traveling carney for a year, because her friend, Ginny, had written to her and said it was great. Fay thought this could be a great way to get some money and help her and Dickie live their best lives. But Dickie is now 15 and in a trailer with a man who doesn’t want him, a man that hits him, and a man that tells him crying is for sissies. He survives while living there, but doesn’t thrive.

Fay is in Vietnam and realizes that it’s not all that she thought it would be; Ginny had lied. Chuck, the owner of the carney and her controlling ex-boyfriend, is there as well, signing her to a one year contract and holding her passport so she can’t get any ideas. She didn’t know she was performing for kids at a hospital, many with burn wounds or missing limbs, all leading her to remember her son that she left.

Ultimately, this book was a bit slow to start for me, and hard to get into. It was very interesting to see the two different timelines overlap within the different parts, as well as actually seeing a bit of what was happening in Vietnam, from a character’s perspective and her time in the country. I really wanted to love the characters, but it was hard when their flaws were a major plot point; but I didn’t need to love them to empathize with them. Another interesting aspect is seeing how the mother/son relationship dynamic works, and what we learn from our parents. Anyone who is interested in Vietnam and that timeframe, I think would really enjoy this book.

A mother. A son. A relationship full of the complexities of paths traveled, choices made and the guilt that often accompanies those decisions.
Fay Stonewell, an escape artist leaves her travel park home to join a carnival troop traveling to Vietnam. She is also leaving her fifteen year old son Dickie with her abusive boyfriend.
Simultaneously, Fay is facing the horrors of the Vietnam war as Dickie faces the horrors of his home life. In a moment of retaliation Dickie’s life changes fleeing to Key West, New York and finally traveling Provincetown, MA. with his friend Spin who has contracted AIDS. Living among the artists, addicts and performers, Dickie is destined to live his life in the here and now as Fay tries desperately to find her way back to her son.
Well written, heartfelt and a recommended read.

This novel is a roller coaster. The prose was fabulous. It is a character driven novel. The themes of grief, family, trauma were well explored. I thought at times the plot was rushed, and the ending felt a little too rushed. The writing and the characters are the standouts of the novel.

This is a beautiful written book that was difficult to read because of the topic. Abandonment, sexual identity, family trauma, etc. ... This book reminds me of reading JR LeRoy before we all found out the truth of JT LeRoy. Like...how could anyone write about how this sort of pain and trauma.

What We Give, What We Take is lyrical prose at it's finest. Randi Triant is a talent to watch.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read and review this book.

3.5 stars rounded up to 4

In 1967, Fay Stonewell, a water tank escape artist in Florida, leaves for Vietnam to join the amazing humans - a jerry-rigged carnival there to entertain the troops - abandoning her teenage disabled son, Dickie, to the care of an abusive boyfriend. Months after Fay's departure, Dickie's troubled homelife ends in a surprising act of violence that forces him to run away. Fay, meanwhile, is also facing dangerous threats. From the night her plane jolts onto a darkened Saigon runway, she is forced to confront every bad decision she's ever made as she struggles to return to her son.

This is a well written, gripping, heart-warming and heart-wrenching story. This a character driven story that covers: abandonment. abuse, physical, verbal and substance, and trauma. The characters are well developed and believable. This is a well thought out storyline that has been beautifully executed. Fay has made many bad life choices. The pace is steady throughout. My only complaint is that I felt the ending was a little bit rushed.

I would like to thank #NetGalley #SheWritesPress and the author #RandiTriant for my ARC of #WhatWeGiveWhatWeTake in exchange for an honest review.

If you expect a feel-good novel about a mother's struggle to support and eventually happily reunite with her son you will be disappointed.
This is a story about a woman who's not only making a living as an escape artist but is trudging through life with the same attitude, making her disabled son the collateral damage of her own flaws, insecurities and mistakes.
The writing is very good, the characters well fleshed out.
What I didn't like was the ending. After exploring so many themes of trauma, substance abuse, verbal and physical abuse, motherhood, loss, abandonment it just felt rushed and like it left too many of those issues unresolved.

What We Give, What We Take is an impressive piece of fiction. Heart wrenching at times and tender at others, this gripping narrative is unbelievably powerful and affecting. Readers find themselves a bit awestruck as they finish this masterful piece; the last lines rattle and reassure in equal measures.

This is the second book I’ve read by Triant. It seems she likes to unravel and examine the complicated relationships people share with one another, especially family. In A New Life she weaves a haunting story of sisterly bonds and deep connections—ones that even go beyond the grave. In What We Give, What We Take, she pens more of the same, only this time she focuses on the bond shared between mother and son.

This story is expertly crafted, first rate work in every way. The prose are poignant and compelling, leading readers through a well-plotted and planned emotional tale. What’s more, it showcases Triant’s ability to manipulate literary elements and story crafting like a pro. The symbolism, imagery, irony, character development, flashbacks, flash forwards—it all comes together to create one spectacular work of fiction.

What We Give, What We Take is a character driven story; the scenes are often moving and intense. Triant achieves this by utilizing shifting points of view, and it’s very impactive. Even though she uses a shifting point of view, she still manages to keep the story arc tight and focused. The narrative is often harrowing, but this is a “big picture” story, working to consistently drive home gorgeous themes. The result is something beyond captivating. It’s bewitching, signaling Triant’s skill at guiding readers through an absorbing tale.

Final remarks…

Seldom does fiction leave readers gutted like this novel does. This is a stunning work of fiction and I highly recommend it to anyone that enjoys full-range emotional journeys.

Strengths…

Well-written
Emotional
Heart wrenching
Masterfully developed
Impactive

Thank you, She Writes Press, for allowing me to read What We Give, What We Take early!

This book was definitely an emotional roller-coaster and quite a lot to digest, but even the bitterest of morsels went down although it took some more internal strength on my part. While I found the prose sublime, I felt like the plot was somewhat rushed, so it'd have benefited from being longer, I think.

This was a 5 star read for me. The prose was both beautiful and at times brutally honest and gut wrenching. The author did a fantastic job of exploring themes of trauma, coping mechanisms, motherhood and loss. A really great read!

The first thing that sticks out is the gorgeous, swirling prose. The second is the giant themes of this novel. An exploration on trauma, reinvention, and our flawed coping mechanisms. The prose floats us through delicately through Dickie gathering himself again, one lie, murder, and drug a time. Stunning.

I loved the idea of this book. With the backdrop of the Vietnam War the book caught my attention straight away.

Dickie is just a young boy living with the aftermath of having Polio as a child. His turbulent relationship with his mother (Faye) means he has never had a settled childhood, moving around the country so his mother can perform her tank escape trip.

One day she up and leave him to go to Vietnam with the intention of making money to give him a better life. The book follows Faye’s time in Vietnam and how Dickie learns to live without her.

I feel the book touched on the subject of Dickie growing past the trauma he endured as a child but for me the ending felt very rushed and unresolved leaving me with more questions about the characters and their relationships.