I really resonated with this book, and found it extremely fascinating. Stories from a relationship therapist, this book was poignant, informative and revelatory and I would really recommend it.

This book failed to meet my expectations. The cases were easy to follow. It just all felt very shallow and boring in places.

A fascinating non fiction book outlining 13 different experiences of a wide range of couples in couple therapy, all at different stages of their relationships, but with one thing in common - they need help negotiating their way through a difficult period. All the couples remain anonymous and the stories can be delved in and out of at your leisure. It makes for interesting reading, whether you are coupled up or single. The stories are all very relatable, but frustratingly, we don't find out the outcome for them. I suppose this is just as true for the therapist once the sessions end. Sensitive and emotional in places, Abse demonstrates the complexity of relationships. #tellmethetruthaboutlove #susannaabse #netgalley #nonfiction

A well written and insightful journey through couple therapy.
The author takes a wide cross section of couples and relationships and shows how they engage, or don't, with therapy and what the outcomes are where known.
Perhaps, as a single person, it could be seen as a dreadful warning or a chance to think yourself lucky being single!
Easy to dip in and out of as a read, rather than having to progress through in a linear fashion.

It was incredibly interesting to read about couple's therapy from the perspective of the therapist. There was also evidently a great deal of care and attention to keeping every client and situation anonymous while still making them relatable and informative.

This was a great read. Fascinating stories about her clients and the complexities that relationships can bring. I loved it so much I've ordered a physical copy too!

Tell Me the Truth About Love is a captivating look into the use of Psychoanalysis in couples therapy. Abse covers a wide range of different couples from lgbt couples, to couples navigating parenthood, to separated couples. Very thought provoking and will definitely have you thinking about current and past relationships of your own. One thing that bothered me was the lack of not knowing the outcome of some of the stories, but as Abse explains at the end of the book, that’s the reality of her job, she doesn’t always know how things turn out and what if any impact she had once the therapy sessions come to an end. An enjoyable and insightful read.

This book brings together behind the scenes of 13 stories of a relationship therapist both from home fore covid but also during.

I really enjoyed this non fiction read and peeking into the relationships of others - I mean who doesn’t like a good nose into other peoples business! This read a little like a self help book too in that you could possibly use parts of it in your own relationships should you need to. I’d love to delve more into couples therapy I think it would be fascinating. I did find this a bit emotional in places especially when children were involved and it wasn’t a happy outcome. I also enjoyed how the author explained the difficulty in using zoom/teams and how this affected the way that they had to run the sessions.

I found this a fascinating read and very thought provoking.

Thank you NetGalley for my complimentary copy in return for my honest review.

— 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 —

𝐓𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: Tell Me The Truth About Love
𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬: N/A
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫(𝐬): Susanna Abse
𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: Nonfiction
𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐏𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝: 19th May 2022
𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: 4.25/5

”Neither of you are going to be able to meet each other’s desires completely but the relationship exists in the trying.”

Well, I enjoyed this immensely.

For some context: I am training to be a mental health nurse and as this collection of short informal essays is centered around psychoanalytic therapy, my interest is highly piqued. This fundamental interest helped me enjoy the insight into the world of couple therapy so much more.

I found that the narration was gentle and exploratory, yet it did not shy away from the ugly experiences of being in a couple. Which is identical to the therapy sessions within the book. It was full of reflections, insight and of course, analysis. I enjoyed many of the theories explored including projective identification, the theory of why we choose certain partners for ourselves, why people have affairs. I thought that although this book was educational, it didn’t feel like a lecture, nor was it an info-dump. It was intelligently written with a wealth of experience that cannot be ignored.

Of course, this book focuses on the psychological aspects to relationships, and as a student nurse, I was taught to look at a person ‘holistically’. So whilst this was an incredibly fascinating insight, I found that childhood trauma was focused on really intently and it felt like the biological and social influences that can impact a couple were being dismissed in search of a greater and deeper meaning.

Insightful. That’s the word that comes to mind when I think about this book. Delving into her 30 years+ of experience as a couple’s therapist, Abse presents thirteen cases/essays that highlight common relationship issues. Or at least that’s what I think she’s chosen to do, the stories could just be random/her favourite ones.

Through these thirteen essays, Abse demonstrates how complicated relationships can be and shares the highs and lows of her career. This isn’t a self-help book, it will not give you advice or tasks to work through, but I still think you can learn so much from this book that can benefit a relationship. Luckily you get to learn it in an armchair, rather than experiencing it.

Each chapter focuses on a different couple that has come into Abse’s room and we find out about these couples, their lives and their issues. Abse has a way of letting you get to know these couples without it feeling intrusive and without you feeling like one person is to blame. Instead, it almost feels like you are studying these people with Abse’s guidance you begin to see how their past wounds/experiences led them to this very moment and to these sessions. Of course, being removed from a situation you’re able to see things differently from those involved. But reading about how Abse navigates their issues with them, and how she feels about it is fascinating. Especially when Abse highlights how common a particular problem is with studies or other anecdotes.

I think through Abse’s suggestions to her clients this book becomes helpful, by hearing about others and their relationships you can perhaps identify where someone in your life might be feeling/has felt like this, and see why they may have behaved in a particular way. Each chapter allows you to experience how nuanced love and life can be, and for that, it is incredibly insightful and expansive.

Another insight we benefit from is what it’s like being a therapist, for me in particular I liked finding out about the ebb and flow of clients and how therapists feel when they aren’t able to fully help clients. Not a lot of these stories end up with the typical and then they lived happily ever after, some of the clients are clearly very frustrating and some just stop coming so even Abse herself doesn’t know if the couple ever resolved their issue.

One negative aspect of this book is Abse’s comment on two of her patients. She says “both of them were fat. Not nicely rounded in a way that suggested just one too many trips to the fridge but so overweight that it seemed to suggest a sustained refusal to care for themselves. Was something desperate and destructive being expressed through their bodies, which was echoed in the anger that they vented on each other?”
I thought okay, a bit harsh, but clearly, this leads into part of their story and something she explores with them. But no it doesn’t, right after that paragraph, she goes on to talk about how she likes parenting consultations and talks about that for a few pages before getting back to that couple, only to talk about a completely different issue they had. In this book, it had absolutely no relevance other than to highlight that these were big people. I don’t expect therapists to reserve judgement completely, but it seems incredibly critical and mean to add this into the book when it had no relevance to their issues or the story she was telling.

Overall an informative read but that bit above did have me side-eyeing her.

I love books by and about therapists so was very interested to read Susanna Abse’s account of her work as a psychoanalytic therapist. Abse amalgamates issues she has dealt with during sessions with various clients throughout her career to present us with 13 case studies, primarily couples. The reader gets a real insight into how she works in her sessions and the issues clients present with. I also found that the case studies helped me to reflect on issues in my own relationship.
I really enjoyed the insights into psychoanalysis, how this works and how it differs from other therapeutic models.
Highly recommended reading for anyone with an interest in therapy, how people relate and their own relationships.
Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this digital ARC.

Brave to call a book, tell me the truth about love, I would say it's more some truths, rather than 'the' truth. Semantic quibble aside, I really enjoyed this book. Overall, I would say it's quite realistic in its portrayal of couple therapy, especially when it all blows up in front of her. She doesn't always finish the stories of each couple, which was another interesting decision but also reflects therapy, as sometimes we don't get to know what happens next. Recommended to anyone interested in couple therapy whether as clients or as a therapist.

With thanks to Netgalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Tell Me the Truth About Love is a collection of thirteen cast studies that illustrate the complexities of relationships. Susanna Abse uses her over thirty years of experience helping couples navigate their relationships. This is a fascinating book whether you're in the psychology field or just have an interest in people. Highly recommended! Be sure to check out Tell Me the Truth About Love today.

Beautiful. Poignant. Phenomenal.
This was a beautiful read and I learnt so much. I cried and I smiled and there was nothing more that I wanted from this book. Truly a gem.

Looking forward to have this book in its physical format. The book has it's depth as a psychoanalytic professional goes through the lives and relationships of her clients and through this, it becomes quite a meditative work of literature. Absolutely human and contemplative in nature. This book is a must have.

This was a great read. Fascinating stories about her clients and the problems they have with their relationships. Very interesting and gripping read.

Tell Me the Truth About Love is a series of short essays exploring how different couples experience and manifest love. The writer has used her experiences of couples therapy to explore the nuisances of different relationships and how couples experience love.

I found the way different couples were categorised as really interesting but also enjoyed how the issues were not romanticised but laid bare and displayed as they were.

This is more of an intellectual and educational read than a story, so if you are looking for something fun and fictional this isn’t a book I would recommend. However, if you want to deep dive into the intricacies of adult relationships and understand intimate emotional relationships better pick this up!

I loved reading this book that I got the physical one so I could keep it on standby as a re read. Thank you so much

This is a book written by a Psychoanalytic Therapist with a lot of experience. I have a strong interest in therapy and couldn’t; resist reading this book about couples therapy.

I found it deeply interesting as the author describes what has happened with some of her clients and the difficulties they are having in their relationships.

I enjoyed it and read it quite rapidly, drinking it up thirstily. It did leave me wanting more though as sometimes there was success and a breakthrough with the couples, but sometimes they just stop coming and it felt like a loose end.

Susanna sounds like she was a great therapist and I would love to have been one of her clients, really listening and really getting involved..

I would have liked some more ‘relationship advice’, if I’m honest, I didn’t come away thinking, “That sounds like a useful tip, I’ll try that’. I came away wanting more which is why I have awarded only 3 stars.

My thanks go to Susanna Abse, the publishers and NetGalley for an advanced reader copy of this book. However, this review is entirely voluntary and 100% my honest opinion.