i loved this book!! i’m leaving it at 4 stars because there were points where the writing was a little weaker than i’d like it to be so i wasn’t finding myself as invested as i could’ve been but generally there was so so much goodness between these pages

i grew up in fandoms, submerged in internet culture and fanfics (though like elsie i was more of a reader than a writer) so in that regard so much of my own experiences spoke back to me in these pages. in part the book revolves around elsie’s crush on ada and as someone who has had my fair share of unrequited internet crushes that was...enjoyable to read (though this one ends well rather than with the internet friend disappearing from the face of the universe for years and now sometimes thinking wow i wonder if they’re still alive! is that a universal experience or)

this also has estranged childhood friends to lovers!! enough said i live for that stuff (though if i was to be more eloquent about it i would say that i love it because it creates the most intriguing dynamic, of people who know each other but also NOT REALLY and they’re sort of learning about each other again but also have the ground of a previous friendship ?? you know what i mean ??)

i adored and i am telling you ADORED joan there are startlingly few masculine lesbians (in general very few masculine sapphic characters) in books and it was really great to see that, there were also plenty of burch side characters and discussion of lesbian identity, how it varies from in western society to hong kong where joan grew up. i also adored the exploration of elsie’s gender presentation!! i don’t think i have ever previously read a sapphic romance about two masculine characters (let alone two masculine sapphic poc!!)

i loved the road trip elements of this!! the friendships!! the complicated family dynamics!! food descriptions!! a really solid read i would recommend if you have ever been immersed in fandom

This was a very very lovely story. It read a little younger than the protagonist was supposed to be so I'd probably say that this is excellent for readers 14-16 but nevertheless, it is a lovely, lovely sapphic story that I am sure will capture many hearts!

This book felt like a hug to my younger self, I saw so much of myself in Elsie! Growing up using Tumblr, making friends halfway across the world and staying up till 4am reading fanfics, I even fell in love with my internet friend much like she did !! I found myself smiling non-stop whilst reading this, it made my heart so happy.

I loved absolutely all of the characters in this book! So many unique personalities and almost all of them were queer <3 I particularly loved the older queer women the friend group met throughout the book, I was happy that Elsie was able to see that, even if you’re older, you can still get your happy ending! So they definitely have a special place in my heart.

My favourite tropes are found family and friends to lovers, this book had both! But, as wholesome as this was it also has themes of loss and identity struggles, Cynthia So captured what it’s like to be a queer youth amazingly!

*“maybe loving someone shouldn't feel like missing them. like you're constantly reaching for something that isn't close enough.”*

This book was beautifully written and so fun to read, I would’ve loved to have something like this when I was a young teen but even at 19 it was so amazing. I’ve already given my copy to a friend so they can read it too :D

A wholesome and tender story, that is well balanced with happiness and pain. It gave me a sense of nostalgia.

I think both the characters and plot were well developed and I couldn't put this book down.

This book honestly had me in a trance. Cynthia So really did it all with this book. The storyline of Elsie and Ada, Elsie and Joan, Elsie’s family, Rikita, Theresa and Rebecca, and even the Eden Recoiling comics had me so intrigued and excited to read on. The queer happiness is definitely here in this book, balanced perfectly with the common struggles in the community. It was so lovely to see all the support around Elsie and to see her be represented as a natural feeling teenager, her fangirling over Eden Recoiling with no judgement made me so happy. Definitely going to buy to re-read at some point.

this is a wholesome ya novel that does feel somewhat very young and vanilla but i am sure that this will appeal to ya readers....i am a bit older than that so had a harder time adjusting to the tone.

thank you to netgalley for the earc because i have now found what will possibly be my favourite read of this year. i know it’s july so it’s a bold claim but i’m serious.

it’s a book that’s perfect for the summer, as you follow elsie along on her’s. in the time you spend with her, elsie learns and grows as she discovers more about her family and friends and also herself. and though elsie is the main character, surrounding characters are built up and established with a sense of authenticity, making the dynamics feel realer. there was something about the friendship between elsie and ritika that made me smile whenever they interacted — the honesty between them, the silliness and the genuine love they had for each other — they were so clearly best friends and it made it even more enjoyable to read.

other dynamics feel important to mention too. the family storyline is prominent and important in this book, touching on sensitive topics with a sense of care. elsie’s friendships with felix and ava and her past relationship with leo. elsie’s relationship with herself and how she sees herself.

and of course, elsie and joan. the way they tentatively avoid and dance around their feelings for one another. one thing i loved about them was the way they both, on separate occasions, mentioned how the other had inspired them to be themselves completely. to be purely and completely yourself in front of another person is scary, you have to be vulnerable and that’s recognised, acknowledged and the pair still do so anyway. it’s beautiful, actually.

while i was reading this, chiquitita by abba started playing. this book feels like the instrumental part at the very end of the song. which i hope makes sense to somebody somewhere.

I loved this book! It gave me all kinds of nostalgia feels for being on Tumblr, fandoms, long distance friendships, online crushes, reading fan fiction and everything was so relatable. The characters and the story line were both great which made me want to read through it all at once and savour every last detail at the same time. There was a lot of representation in this book which was really good to see on the page and I loved how one of the main themes was based on fandom and shows the importance of the online community in safe spaces where so many people can see themselves represented. This is a truly wonderful book that made me reminisce about my teenage years and I couldn't put it down.

3.5 stars

I'm actually really torn about what to give this book a rating of. What I liked about this book are the way it handles the topics of discovering your sexuality and identity and the difficulty of coming out or feeling like yourself to a family with complicated relationships. I love how the issues surrounding the family was handled, and I think I enjoyed that storyline the most. I also really love how this book approaches the topic of friendships and discovering yourself through fandoms because I feel like a lot of teenagers (including me) relate to that aspect. Also Elsie is not a perfect character and I appreciate that a lot. Her trying to process through her friendships and crushes from both in real life and online, and her having these complicated feelings about her family - all of those felt real and I definitely think a lot would also relate to her in that aspect. I also really love the representations in this and all was explored really well. Another thing I liked was the fact this book talks about how characters of color usually get less attention than their white male counterparts in medias and also in the way the fandoms treat them and it's just !!! so damn true.

Despite that, I felt like this book has way too much going on and the way each new side plot was mentioned was way too sudden. There were also a lot of info dumps and side plots that would get mentioned halfway through so I couldn't fully attach myself to the plot alone. Another thing was I find the Rebecca-Theresa plot really weird and invasive?? like even the characters had to admit it was weird but they were so quick to diminish that because Rebecca and Theresa are happy now with each other. Another thing was I find the writing of the characters a bit too young because I know they're supposed to be going to college but it honestly feels like they were still middle school or the first year of high school just by the way they speak or the way this was narrated.

Let me just start by saying that the cover of this book is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and is 100% why I picked this book up, and then I found out it was sapphic and had a bisexual main character and I was so on board with this book. I just wish I loved it as much as I expected to. I definitely think I went into this book with high expectations and maybe I just didn't read this at the right time and that is why I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I simply just found myself getting bored and being distracted instead of wanting to read this book.
On a more positive note, the writing in this book is so beautiful and I loved it so much. The way Cynthia So writes is so lyrical and beautiful, and the overall story of this book was such an accurate representation of first love, friendship and fandom.
I loved Elsie and Joan, and seeing them go from friends to strangers to friends to lovers. I loved the conversations about sexuality and family.
I loved the representation of fandom and being a teenager who is part of a fandom and meeting friends online and reading fanfiction. It was incredibly relatable and I loved that aspect of this book.
If I had read this when I was 16/17, I think this book would've been such an important part of my life and I would've related so much to Elsie's journey. I am so glad that books like 'If You Still Recognise Me' are being published because they do mean everything to me, even if I wasn't as obsessed with them as I wish I could be.

4* (4 Stars)

'If You Still Recognize Me" is a young adult contemporary novel that is described as sapphic 'Heartstopper'. In her final summer before University, Elise has many plans, and one of that plans was to tell her long-time crush, Ada, her feelings. One problem is that Ada and Elise never met before and that Ada lives half an ocean away. Another problem is that Elise's long-lost best friend, Joan, is back in Elise's life and everything gets complicated.

I love the Cantonese rep in this book. As Canto myself, I love seeing Elise interacting with her family and her finding her identity.
This book also includes many queer representations, of a wide range of ages.

I did find this book to be a bit predictable and I find the characters acted quite young, they are around 17-19yr old and I felt that they were 14/15.

'If You Still Recognize Me" is an amazing coming-of-age novel and is perfect for a summer read that is fun and emotional.

Thank you to Net Galley and the publisher for providing me with an ARC for an honest review.

OMG this is the perfect sapphic equivalent to Heartstopper. It absolutely amazing, wholesome and just perfect. The relationships, the characters, the plot is all perfect. I literally cried with joy so much.

Sadly this was a did not finish book, for me. I did enjoy was what I read, but the whole fanfiction and fandom and how it just kept popping up, was a distraction for me.

This is one of my new favourite books. This is a hug to all of the Tumblr fandom teenagers, to the LGBTQ+ community - especially people of colour within the community.

Cynthia So manages to include generations of queer stories alongside the main sapphic romance, which was lovely to see.

There is a range of LGBTQ+ representation, including asexual, bisexual, lesbian, gay, and non-binary representation - which was lovely to see.

Overall, a fantastic YA LGBTQ+ contemporary which I highly recommend

Remember those summers you had I your late teens? The endless ones filled with crushes and heartbreak and adventures? This book will make you relive that as Elsie and her friends travel around the UK figuring our what it means to really be friends, to like someone and ....trying to track down Elsie's friend's grandma's ex crush.

Yeah, that last bit is a bit of a hard sell, I didn't buy into Elsie's *teenage logic* about needing to do it and the saving grace of the plot line is that none of her friends do either.

Elsie has a lot to figure out. Her storyline does a great job of showing how emotional harm in relationships can show itself very young, when teenagers aren't necessarily equipped with all the tools to manage it. She's also got a lot going on at home - her family are being secretive about why they aren't closer and she can't figure out why.

As Lily finds some independence over the summer, with her part time job and spending time with friends new and old, she starts to explore who she wants to choose to be.

This is firmly YA, a great pick for young queer readers, particularly those interested in fanfiction.

Wow what a book. This was stunning and i'm so glad i read it. Cynthia's writing style is truly one of a kind and that's why i loved it so much. Everything about this book was beautiful, from the cover to the complex characters inside.. This book’s representation of LGBTQIA+ characters is pure perfection. We have a variety of gay, bi, ace and non-binary characters of different age groups.

A joyous, tender coming of age about queer identity, cultural inheritance, complicated families, found families that feel like a safe space and the power of fandom. This novel came to me with high recommendations, and it never once made me fear that it wouldn't deliver the triumphant story I was promised.
I loved everything about this - the complex exploration of abusive relationships (and the grief they can still inspire), the messy ways in which families care for one another but find it difficult to co-exist, the importance of likeminded friends to keep you afloat, the power of fandom to help you form connections and find your people, and the delightful quest-like adventure to find an old flame in order to spark a young romance.
This was a delight!

A charming book that follows Elsie as she navigates recovering from a toxic relationship, a long distance crush, leaving school and being bi against the backdrop of a relatively traditional Chinese family.

I loved the representation of different generations and types of queer experience, as well as the depiction of online friendships and the community of fandom. It was nice to see the joyous and supportive side of it, rather than it being a negative plot device. If I'd had this book when I was a teen, I would have loved it - and it would have been very important to me.

Rating this is difficult- by my normal standards it's a 3, but for YA and in terms of as a book I'd recommend to students it's 4? Split the difference to 3.5? A definite recommendation, Yr9+.

Loved this one! Such a lovely story with wonderful, unforgettable characters. Appreciated that coming out was not the end goal.

“I can’t stop laughing. Joan’s gaze meets mine, and she cracks up too, eyes crinkling, her hand still on my back and her forehead falling on to my shoulder as her whole body shakes with laughter. I feel it reverberate in my bones, the soymilk’s sweetness still lingering in my mouth.”

I have lived most of my life online, flitting from fandom to fandom, and through that I have found some of the most wonderful people, and have curated the most beautiful friendships and relationships with so many people - people that have changed my life, people that I otherwise would have never got to know. People that live near me, people in other continents, even people that live on the other side of the world.

If You Still Recognise Me is a stunning novel, in the same vein as Letter’s To Juliet but with more heart and culture, that pays homage to the wild wonders and specialty of online fandoms, and the relationships you can form through your screen, with just words typed on a keyboard, using only your fingers so very perfectly.

Portrayals of fan culture can often be hit and miss, sometimes seeming like the author is trying far too hard to be relatable that it comes off corny, unnatural, stale and so very forced…Cynthia So made sure that that tired narrative was eradicated from this book.

Instead of stale, her own take on fan culture felt revitalised, with fresh perspectives and realistic portrayals of teenage fangirls in close knit fandom spaces.

My romantic relationships have only ever been online. It’s a hard line to walk, there are infinite difficulties that factor into whether a long distance relationship is suitable; or, in the case of you being close friends before you start an relationship with them, whether you can salvage the relationship that you had with them before it became one that was borne of a type of love that, while at it’s core is eerily similar yet, is so painfully different to that of the platonic love you once shared for one another.

Oftentimes, when a book has so many narratives churned into one, the impact of certain points easily get lost, and again - Cynthia So somehow managed to avoid that happening.

Every single part of what made Elise a truly remarkable main character was beautifully curated, so well thought and fleshed out.

The relationships developed between Elise and every single side-character felt so beautifully, and at times painfully, real. It didn’t feel so much like a book, like a character that isn’t really real, but like I was combing through the pages of a real person, a close friend.

Elise and her relationships (though, specifically those with her mum, Po Po, Joan and her uncle Kevin) were full of heart, so much genuine feeling pumping through the veins of all of the relationships she has, formed throughout the book or pre-existing.

There was a perfect balance between sexuality, crushes, love, fear, culture, fandom and intergenerational trauma throughout the entirety of the book, a balance that didn’t once falter or hiccup. It was steadfast and strong, and exactly what you want to see in a book like this, with so much needed representation and just as much promise.

If You Still Recognise Me is a love letter to a myriad of communities and pieces that are vital to what so many of us have grown up with, and to who so many of us have grown up to be.

Packed with a punch and sealed with a searing heartwarming feeling that will last for a long, long time, Cynthia So’s YA debut should, and I predict will, be the book that is on everybody’s lips, and everyone’s TBR lists.

5/5 stars! Thank you to Cynthia So, Little Tiger & NetGalley for my eARC in exchange for an honest review.

This was such a delightful reading experience, perfect for the summer and I couldn’t recommend If You Still Recognise Me enough.

It’s pretty safe to say that Cynthia So will be going onto my ‘author’s to watch and buy everything they ever write’ list, and what a worthy addition they are.