I loved this book. Loved it. It kept me company on a very long train journey and as I neared the end of the book (and the journey) I found myself trying to slow down my reading, simply because I wasn't ready to be done with it yet.

I feel that, although there is a decent plot line, the most important aspects of this book are the characters and how they interact with each other and how they develop throughout the book. I felt there was a good mix of familial relationships, friendships and romantic entanglements and while the book did deal with some heavier topics - gender, sexuality, racism - it also had this fluffy, feel good aspect to it that just made it a quick, delightful read. Also - as a fan fiction reader myself it was excellent to see a fandom portrayed in such a positive light.

The definition of a comfort read, If You Still Recognise that attracted me because of the lovely cover put me through a spectrum of emotions, ones which I related to closely, I appreciate this debut so much

This is an excerpt of my full review, which can be found here: https://thebooksintheirhands.wordpress.com/2022/05/15/if-you-still-recognise-me-cynthia-so/

Cynthia So’s debut novel, If You Still Recognise Me, is a heartfelt exploration of identity, love and growth. This coming-of-age story follows young Elsie as she navigates between school and university, British culture and Chinese heritage, and life both on and offline.

Summer starts in an emotional knot of guilt and absent grief. Elsie’s Hong Kongese Grandfather has died, putting an end to the eight year estrangement between her expat family and her Grandparents. So once her mother leaves for Hong Kong to bring back her Grandmother to Oxford, Elsie has little else than fandom to distract her from her secretive family’s business. Can she piece together her parent’s throw-away bits of information to really understand why they’d all stopped speaking to their Hong Kong relatives for eight years?

The dull heartache of Elsie’s uncommunicative family is balanced by the support which she receives from her friends, Rikita, Joan and Ada, who wrap warmth around the story like a blanket. Her school best friend, Rikita, knows Elsie inside out and shows her support by helping to uncover her family’s secrets. Joan is a character returned from Elsie’s childhood, a friend who had been out of touch since she’d moved back to Hong Kong at eleven years old. I thought Joan seemed untrustworthy at first, but found that she later blooms into the novel by helping Elsie to deal with the aftermath of a past toxic relationship.

Elsie’s best online friend, Ada, also provides her with a net of emotional support, despite the pair not actually knowing each other in real life. Chatting online, Elsie quickly falls in love with Ada as she pushes Elsie towards the realisation of who she really is, as Elsie herself suggests: “I’m pretty sure that most of it is just the fact that she’s so gorgeous, but sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to dress the way she does. The confidence it would take. I don’t think I could do it, and maybe that makes me a little jealous of her.”

I loved If You Still Recognise Me as a powerful story which defends the rights of young people to not know about their identity in a world which demands so much certainty from them. Cynthia So definitely has the voice of a generation, a voice which will prove to be increasingly essential in the growing realm of YA Queer narratives.

Written with many thanks to NetGalley and Little Tiger for the eARC of If You Still Recognise Me.

Thank you to NetGalley and Little Tiger Group for providing an e-arc of this novel in exchange for an honest review.

This book was absolutely delightful, and my highest rate of the year so far. I initially was going to give four stars, but that's just over some niggles that detracted a little bit from my reading experience and will probably not even be noticeable to others.

Honestly, I just found this so wholly relatable. I'm not a teen, nor am I Chinese, but the author does an amazing job describing the more wholesome sides of fandom culture, which provide such great joy to their main character Elsie. All of the side characters had a lot of depth to them and the way their journeys were interwoven into the story was very natural and never seemed like a tick-box exercise. The way Elsie and Ritika worked through their issues (both on a personal level and how they communicated with each other) was so mature!

To impress her crush, Elsie sets out on a quest to track down the crush's grandmother's long-lost lesbian love (what a mouthful of a sentence). This is exactly as over the top as it sounds, and the other characters do remind Elsie time and time again that, quite literally, no one's asked her to do this and it's not entirely clear to them why this is so important to her (although we, as readers, do know what this symbolises for Elsie).

I love when I actually learn something new from books, too. The description of the different terms and categories that would be used in Hong Kong to describe queer people and stories was so educational. I also loved all of the adult queer characters. It was so unapologetic and it allowed us to explore such a broad range of different experiences.

The aspects of the book that bothered me, and that as I said were probably negligible, is that sometimes the dialogue was a little lacklustre. I love realistic dialogue and I don't like it when people speak in paragraphs, but this goes almost the opposite way with a lot of really curt "Okay. Let's do that." where maybe saying that the character nodded would have sufficed.

MINOR SPOILER:
Also, I didn't super love Ada as a character. I thought she was a little out of touch, to not realise at any point that Elsie had a crush on her. To me it felt like in their friendship, she took a lot more than she gave. She also went from being super offended that Elsie had tracked down Theresa to "oh you know I just wish you'd have told me" which seems a bit of an abrupt u-turn without a little more explanation of how she'd come round.

4.5

If You Still Recognise Me is, first of all, fantastically nerdy. It's a true ode to fandom which was so fun to read about; I'm not I've ever read a book where fandom culture is so accurately and beautifully portrayed! So many people will see themselves represented in that aspect of the book, and it really shows the importance of both real-life friends, and online friends. Elsie is dedicated to the fandom of her favourite comic, Eden Recoiling, and I have to admit, I was invested in the comic storyline by the end too! I wanted to know what happened!

Another aspect that has fantastic representation is how beautifully queer this book is. Queer people are represented not only in teenagers, but also in adults and elderly people and that was so cool to see. You've got lesbian, bisexual, gay, asexual, and so much more representation in here. One thing that I really loved was that coming out to her family is Elsie's end goal, but she hasn't done so by the end of the book, and that doesn't take away from her identity in any way. There was no forceful outing in this book either which was really great to see!

This book deals with many different kinds of love: romantic, platonic, familial, and I loved seeing all of that. Elsie is also dealing with the repercussions of a past toxic relationship and I thought that was discussed very gently and carefully. There are really important discussions of gender expression, asian fetishization, eurocentric beauty standards, and so much more, and I thought the author handled those brilliantly!

I did find the book to be quite predictable - I wasn't particularly shocked or surprised by any of the plot points, it went very much the way I expected it to. The characters also felt quite young, like I kept thinking they were 15 or 16 when in fact they're meant to be 18 or 19 and heading off to university.

Overall, a really great book that I think a lot of people are going to read and find themselves on the page, which is so, so needed.

Thank you netgalley for providing me with an arc in exchange for an honest review. I had seen great reviews for this book, so I went into it with high expectations, and it definitely did not disappoint! It was everything I wanted and more. I loved the characters and their arcs, and how the plot developed moving towards the ending. Taking all of this into consideration, I’m going to give this book 5/5 stars because I absolutely adored it and cannot see much room for improvement.

First of all, this book has a beautiful cover. At first glance I would have expected it to be a magical fantasy novel, it's just so pretty! My instinct is to give this book 3 stars because it's a little bit boring and incredibly predictable, but I'm going to bring it up to 4 because the representation is vibrant and not something I've found in many books, though I keep looking. Also, it is the author's first book and I think it probably did what So set out to achieve which is an accomplishment in of itself. So, my personal opinion is 3 stars but I'm giving it 4 because I really want more books like this to succeed.

Pros:
Again, representation. Fantastic. Not only do we get good East Asian characters, we get other POC too! Lots of stories sometimes focus on only one ethnicity, so this is a refreshing change of pace. In a similar vein, this book has nonbinary characters (though not main characters) and more than just one sexuality. It has more even than two! This book gives lesbian, bisexual, queer, asexual, and gay. I might even be forgetting others. It was so so nice to finally find a decent sapphic book while ALSO finding ace rep. I really appreciated the diversity and intersectionality of the characters.
If You Still Recognise Me is very hopeful. It showcases queer joy in a way that most books I've read so far don't, and it's something I have been seeking for a long time. It also highlights several queer relationships with older adults, which is another thing YA doesn't usually offer, but that queer kids desperately crave (as seen in the book itself). The characters are all pretty likable and sympathetic and there's no horrible tragedy or conflict like can happen in queer YA books, which I appreciate.

Cons:
Extremely predictable. The relationships, the family, the plot, it was all very easy to figure out from the beginning. There are a couple points that were maybe supposed to be surprises, but I never got that impression. I can see this being a tactic to utilize tropes because the story leans heavily on the fandom realm which uses lots of tropes, so it does make sense.
The characters seem really young. I know this is YA, but they should be 17-19 as they are about to head off to uni. However, they all kind of read like 14-16 year olds. The language and overall vibe of the book I would also say is for that age, rather than an 18 year old about to go to uni. Which is fine, maybe the target audience is younger than the characters. I kept forgetting that they were technically adults who could go off on their own and I kept thinking "how are they doing this? Are they old enough to have jobs or travel alone?" They are, it just didn't feel that way.

Overall, I'd recommend this book probably for 12-16 year olds. Great representation, classic, tropey plot, and a happy ending. If you liked Heartstopper, you'll probably also enjoy If You Still Recognise Me.

Thanks to NetGalley, I got an early access to this book in exchange for an honest review.
It’s actually 2.5 stars, but not enough to reach 3.
If you’re 11-14 years old and are into some kind of anime/comic/manga fandom or basically any sort of fandom that involves fanfics, edits, fanarts… This book’s for you, specially if you’re sapphic. It’s a cute a-bit-too-slow burn with amazing asian and black rep, as well as LGBTQ+. Amazing reunions and heartwarming friendships, including long-distance ones.
There’s this whole fandom thing that pulls you out of the story, the excessive amount of description of the “Eden Recoiling” world and fan made things about it. It wasn’t for me because I’m past that intense phase of living for a fandom and dedicating that much time to it, but that’s just me. Overall, it’s not a bad book, even great if you’re the target audience.

Okay I LOVED this book mainly because it’s set in Oxford which is where I’ve been studying for the last three years and so I recognised a lot of places. I also really related to the fandom references and online friends in general which made this book so much more enjoyable. The characters so immediately likeable and I loved the realism of friendships especially with Joan and Elise’s growth from the start. The plot was really enjoyable I loved how it all linked back together with letters and confessing love through letters.🥺 I highly recommend this book, such a fast read as well, most of it i actually read whilst going to Oxford which was perfect

This book was very cute! I devoured it in a day and although I appreciate the ending, I wish that it was ever so slightly longer as I want to know how future events unfold! The whole story was warm and happy, and I would recommend it to fans of YA queer literature. The only downside for me was that some of the dialogue felt a bit too "fanfic-y" for my tastes, but that kind of ties in with the style anyway.

Loved this! Brilliant characterisation, well written story dealing with coming out as a young adult.

A brilliant diverse story, the author has created a beautiful setting, with characters you could visualise in your mind as if you were watching a film.
There are very sensitive topics broached within this book, however, they are presented with care and the characters maintain their dignity.
Thank you for the ARC, I'm grateful I was able to read this wonderful book.

I don't read a lot of YA but this I could not resist, and I'm glad I didn't.

I'm slightly sceptical about the time period (I'd have thought that peak Tumblr fanfic time ended before these kids could have smartphone app-centric lives?) but perhaps I am simply old, and it didn't interfere with my enjoyment. If anything it improved it, since I got to enjoy both things: Tumblr nostalgia AND no situations where the lack of possibility of immediate communication got in the way of the plot.

Representation wise, this is delightful. The occasional earnestly educational paragraph aside, mostly this is a jumble of identities and personalities and explorations which warmed my heart. The intergenerational stories are just lovely, the family dynamics are complex and fascinating, and the multicultural milieu is refreshing.

My slight wish to read this as an adult novel says more about me than about the novel: if you like YA, and you yearn for some non white, non straight characters and stories, you'll love this.

My thanks to Little Tiger Group and NetGalley for the ARC.

Easily one of my favourite books of the year so far. I'm so sure I will read this lots. This is the kind of comfort read that makes you cry with its tender story. The writing was so thoughtful and so beautiful, and there's so much depth in this book that makes it stand out in the YA genre.

What makes this stand out the most is the main character's relationships with her family members, particularly her mother, grandmother and uncle, that are explored with so much care.

One thing I particularly loved is that this book doesn't end with the main character neatly coming out to her parents and grandmother, like you might expect. I feel like we often see a focus on coming out as the end goal in a book for the character to live happily ever after, and I love how this took the pressure off.

I also however really loved the friendships and the romance - which is estranged childhood friends to lovers!

Perfect for fans of Jenny Han and Alice Oseman, this cute, queer romantic comedy follows a young woman in the last summer before university on a quest to find her crush’s grandmothers’ potential long-lost love. She hopes that by doing so she can finally confess her love and her crush will confess right back. But she never realized that she would reconnect with her own long-lost friend and that sparks would fly. I loved the warmth that just radiates from this novel as we follow along on Elsie’s quest for love. Everything about it felt so genuine and so real; what Elsie experiences, from her crushes to her friendships to her heartbreaks, as well as her tumultuous late-teen emotions, I could see my younger self in her. A perfect summer read.

4,5*
CW: homophobia, toxic relationships, anxiety

What caught my attention instantly, was the breathtaking cover! I love illustrated covers, espacially when a POC character is portrayed. This is one of the most gorgeous covers I’ve ever come across. The amazing exterior of the book is perfectly underlined by Cynthia So’s writing style. Her words create such visually stunning imagery. I love how she describes feelings, characters, and (especially!) food. The food descriptions made me super hungry sometimes! Those also helped me to get an idea about Elsie’s chinese heritage and her family's culture.
The characters and their relationships are so well crafted and distinct. Every person has their own voice, their own story to tell. And most of them are queer, which is freaking amazing. This book’s representation of LGBTQIA+ characters is pure perfection. We have a variety of gay, bi, ace and non-binary characters of different age groups. I love how it shows that being queer is not a recent trend – we have been around FOR EVER.
Elsie and her friend Ada are huge fans of a comic book series called Eden Recoiling and I loved the little bits and bobs about that story. The portrayal of being part of a fandom felt very accuarate and realistic to me.
Elsie not only deals with her sexuality, she also suffers from repercussions of a former relationship which was very toxic. I appreciated how the author intertwined these small moments of trauma and healing.

»Sometimes, when we were crossing this bridge, he would reach out, his fingers loosely curled around mine, only for the length of the bridge, and stupidly I held on to every moment of that more fiercely than he ever held on to me.«

„If You Still Recognise Me“ is a love story that unfolds like a flower, slowly but surely. I would love to read more about Elsie, Joan, Ritika, Ada and Felix. I already miss them!

I really enjoyed the diversity on this book! However, I didn't enjoy the writing as much, probabñy because is aimed at a younger audience.

If You Still Recognise Me follows Elsie, an 18 year old bisexual girl, on a journey of self discovery and reconnecting with old friends. This is a very character driven story, although the plot still tied in very well with Elsie's character development. This book contains so much important representation, queer main and side characters, queer bipoc characters, asexual questioning, queer older people, non-binary rep. This is such a cute comfort read and very much a queer coming of age story. I appreciated that the main goal was not the main character coming out to her family, as is with a lot of queer novels.

I also really enjoyed the evolution of her relationships within her family, especially her reconnection with Uncle Kevin. There was so much love in this book, not just romantic, but familial and platonic. The exploration of deeper topics, homophobia, racism and asian-fetishism, was done with so much care and consideration.
This is such a joyous book and some much needed representation for queer teens.

If You Still Recognise Me is a wonderful portrayal of self exploration, female and f-m friendships, the complexity of being queer in a family of colour, and struggling with familial and societal expectations. Elsie goes on a journey of introspection as she exits high school, begins navigating her love life while being a queer woman of color, healing from a toxic relationship, and growing closer to her family before she takes on university. The story is very character-driven, but I still loved the plot and how it tied into Elsie’s character development. I loved the progression of her character more than anything else in this novel.

Throughout this, Elsie’s voice was so distinct. I’ve said before that I’m not always a fan of first person POVs but this has proved to be yet another exception. This was definitely brilliant. I loved being in Elsie’s mind, experiencing her thoughts and emotions. They were never dramaticised, and always felt genuine and real. I loved the writing style. It was straightforward and easy to understand and immerse yourself in. I found the dialogue to be perfect, not at all cringey in a way that some ya novels written by anyone over 20 usually are. Cynthia So covered so many important topics including sexuality, gender expression, asian fetishization, the eurocentric beauty standard, and more. And they were all handled with such care and consideration. It was nuanced the way it delved into Elsie’s mind as she discovered (or re-discovered) things about herself.

I can’t even put into words how much I love this book. Is this a romance? Yes. But at its core, If You Still Recognise Me is a story about love. Not just romantic love, but platonic, familial, and self love. We watch Elsie as she grows to love herself, and realize she is worthy of being loved—by her friends, crush, family, but most importantly, herself. It was so heartwarming and comforting. I FLEW through this book at light speed. Did not put it down until I physically needed to and had a smile on my face the whole time. I did not want this book to end. If I had my way, it would keep going on forever and I’d never get tired of reading it.

The things spoken about in this novel were so thoughtful and thought-provoking. The representation of not just different sexualities, but cultures filled me with such joy I have no way to describe it. There’s nothing like seeing the food you eat, the language you speak, your own traditions and little customs, represented on page after not just years, but decades, of seeing the same white, western, euro-centric worldview in books.

I was happy that by the end Elsie hadn’t come out to her family. It was very realistic. It didn’t diminish her queer identity in any way and that’s the point. Coming out was never the end goal. It’s never as neat and easy as shown in a lot of the queer media we already have and this book acknowledges that. Just getting stories about queer people BEING queer is so great in itself. We didn’t NEED Elsie to come out because her story was meaningful and impactful regardless. There also came the added bonus of multiple queer people being happy and loved in every generation.

I could not get over how accurately this book portrayed what it’s like to be in a fandom space—especially when you’re a queer poc. As someone who reads and writes fanfiction, who obsesses over different forms of media in the exact same way shown in this book, I’ve never felt so seen. I’ve made many close friends online and this perfectly captured the way an online space can be freeing and online friendships can be just as important and deep as irl frienships. Also the way being in a fandom is very inclusive in a way that many queer people cannot experience irl.

Everything hit me like a freight train I won’t lie. I have never felt so seen in all my years reading. Elsie and the supporting cast were so wonderful in every way. Every single one of the characters were relatable. From Elsie’s inner turmoil, to Felix’s distress at being ace in a sex-dominated space, Ritika’s unsurity of who she likes after years of being complacent, and Joan’s complicated relationship with her family. All these things coupled together made a cocktail of fierce emotions stir within me. It goes so deep without making a spectacle of itself. Nothing was overly exaggerated to the point that it became satirical. It was quiet with its revelations. Even though it’s a ya novel, it could encompass and encapsulate many generations of shared experiences between queer poc. That’s what a great book does. It’s so good that it transcends its genre to be loved by even those outside of who it’s intended for.

Reading this felt like a love letter to my teenager self, and I know that whatever age you are, whether you’re the target audience or even much older, you’ll enjoy and love this book. I especially hope that queer teens get to read it and feel as seen as I do. So if you’re a fan of mutual pining, idiots in love, yearning, childhood-friends-to-lovers. sweetness, just tooth-rotting fluff, this is for you.

Well written with a fantastic story and incredibly well developed characters. Both heart-warming and heart-wrenching that dealt with a protagonist wanting to come out to their family and the relationship dynamics with those family mebers. It is a beautiful book. I loved it.