dnf @ 30%

This unfortunately didn't start off great for me. After a few chapters I could tell the writing style and characters weren't gonna be enjoyable to read.
-The writing style felt too informal.
-Joel seemed to be way more into Raiden than Raiden seemed to be into Joel from what I read, so it felt very one-sided.
-The plot was too unrealistic for me.
I feel guilty for not finishing it but if I kept reaing it probably would've been a 1 star read.

The good
+ Joel trusting his gut about Raiden's feelings, despite his insecurities
+ Use of condoms for blowjobs. Very responsible
+ Joel seeing past Raiden's walls and masks to see the boy underneath
+ Raiden showing and telling Joel personal things about his past

The neutral
o I was kindly provided with an ARC. My review remains honest and unbiased
o Just like in any action movie, there's a million bad guys with horrible aim. All shots fired by the main characters hit center forehead
o Joel refused to have his first time with his back to Raiden, so he made him agree to missionary. Then, the first time he topped Raiden, it happened from the back. What? Why would he do that?
o I don't really know what Raiden saw in Joel, since he never communicated about it and we didn't get his POV

The bad
- Just a few minutes after being asked whether their guns, which spent significant time underwater, were still functional (no, because the ammo had become useless), Raiden used his wet gun with wet ammo successfully
- Joel learned how to fire a handgun within one day, and then made several headshots even under pressure
- Raiden treated Joel like shit. He knew Joel had feelings for him, because Joel communicated those time and time again, yet kept insisting on being friends-with-benefits only. He knew how much it all meant to Joel and that he wanted more, yet took his virginity and kept him on a leash without remorse
- Joel let Raiden walk all over him just a bit too much. It was nice that he stood up for himself, but at some point it went from confident and prideful to pathetic and sad. Raiden (apparently) made his choice, and Joel had made his feelings clear enough
- Ren kissed Raiden when she knew so well Joel was into him, and Joel just forgave her because Raiden didn't kiss back. Then they became best friends. The hell? She still did a horrible thing, especially because she was a daily witness to Joel's moping
- The timeline was inconsistent. Only few weeks passed between New Year and March in one chapter a week passed and two characters continued a conversation from a week ago like it happened a few hours before; the thing with the wet guns still working after just being told they shouldn't
- The plot was incredibly unrealistic. Both the Yakuza and the police knew Joel was involved with Raiden somehow, but they still went back to Joel's condo and used Joel's plane. Everyone also kept their cellphones and Joel probably used his bank account (because he never complained about being broke). They were really easy to track, especially since they ran through the snow and always hid like one block away from where they were last spotted by their pursuers, and then bunked in Raiden's friends' homes


I did not enjoy this book, unfortunately. It was a chore to get through, because every few pages something would happen that made the experience worse (an inconsistency, something unrealistic, or another Raiden-hurts-Joel moment). I don't recommend reading this book, since neither the Yakuza plot nor the romance lived up to my expectations.