“Everyone dies, and yet it’s unendurable. There is so much love inside of us. How do we become worthy of it? And, then, where does it go? A worldwide crescendo of grief, sustained day after day, and only one tiny note of it is mine.”

Edi and Ash have been best friends for over forty years. Since childhood they have seen each other through life’s milestones. As Ash notes, ‘Edi’s memory is like the back-up hard drive for mine.’

So, when Edi is diagnosed with terminal cancer, Ash’s world reshapes around the rhythms of Edi’s care, from chipped ice and watermelon cubes to music therapy; from snack smuggling to impromptu excursions into the frozen winter night. Because life is about squeezing the joy out of every moment, about building a powerhouse of memories, about learning when to hold on, and when to let go.

We All Want Impossible Things is about enduring friendships amidst dealing with illness, of friends who become family, and to go looking for a rainbow every day. The subject, as painful as it is, is treated with utmost respect for the characters and the ordeal each of them experiences. The author balances the heavy with bright humour that comes naturally as part of both Edi and Ash’s personalities.

I always find it hard to read books about illness and loss, which probably stems from my personal experiences but that cannot be a reason to find fault in the author’s writing. Perhaps this just didn’t resonate with me.

This ARC courtesy of NetGalley and Transworld Publishers.

When I read Nora Ephron name I was ready for witty and thought provoking remarks. I got a book that moved me to tears and talks to my emotions about what really matters in life.
There's humour but there's also illness, grief, death, loss.
A celebration of friendships and life talking about death.
Recommended.
Many thanks to the publisher for this arc, all opinions are mine

This is one which, no matter where you are in your own life, will tug at your heartstrings!

Edi & Ash have been friends forever; they have shared so much and neither wants to admit that it's coming to an end but with Edi's terminal diagnosis, it's happening whether they like it or not. When the time comes to find a hospice, Ash doesn't hesitate to take Edi to the one near her where she can care for her and be the friend she always has been.

This is such a bittersweet read. It's funny, uplifting and entertaining and yet we know from the beginning that it can only end in death. I often read about how hospices are not the depressing places you would think, and this book epitomises that perfectly. As I got to know Edi, Ash and their families, I certainly shed a few tears - not all sad ones. This is a book I'm so happy to have read, and would recommend it; it opened my eyes to a lot of things but the lasting feeling I will have whenever I think of it is definitely love. A beautiful, tender tale wrapped in love and friendship and one I'm delighted to recommend and give a full house of stars. *****

My thanks to the publisher for my copy via NetGalley; this is - as always - my honest, original and unbiased review.

Edi has terminal cancer and is living in a hospice, she doesn’t have long left to live and her friends and family are falling apart.

We All Want Impossible Things follows Edi’s best friend Ashley as she comes to terms with losing the love of her life and watching her die.

This book is so sad, it has its sweet, uplifting moments and also moments of humour but I couldn’t help feeling so upset when it finished. I fell in love with Ashley and Edi and their wonderful friendship and how much they adored eachother.

The ending made my heart hurt even though I was expecting it - it was written so beautifully.

A beautiful little book that will stay with me for a long time.

I don't know how to review this book as it felt so real it seems impossible to give any criticism at all. I don't know if it's based on the author's experience but I would guess it is and I think she has done an amazing job of fictionalising something that must have been a terrible experience. The book is about helping a friend through the lead up to their death - not the diagnosis, or the treatment, but the actual hospice care and eventual death. It's not one to read if someone you love is at that stage, but then again maybe it is because it isn't frightening in the way I was dreading it might be - it is comforting. The details of how it all goes are sparing but say it all - Edi goes from being able to laugh and sing and make jokes, to fading away gently. The final death scene and funeral are almost too idealised as the family is warm and witty and really really loving. We should all have a family like that. Also, I should mention how funny the book is as that is something threaded through it and without that it would be too awful to read. There are laugh out loud moments at times, along with cry out loud. The narrator Ash is funny and honest, so it's easy to read and never gets too heavy and sad without something to leaven it and keep you reading.

"If there's a metaphor for our friendship, it might be this. The blind faith. The absolute dependability. The love like a compass, its north always true."

A beautifully written and deeply moving novel about friendship, family, death, grief and, yes, living in all its messiness, Catherine Newman's 'We All Want Impossible Things' made me laugh and cry in equal measure. Telling the tale of life-long friends Edi and Ashley as the former is dying from ovarian cancer, the novel takes the reader on a journey throughout these two friends lives, but also the lives of the people closest to them as Newman paints this massive, breathtaking but also ugly portrait of worlds that came together just because two women decided to be friends 40 years ago.

"Edi's memory is like the back-up hard drive for mine."

Reading about death and grief is never easy, but 'We All Want Impossible Things' (what a title!) isn't a morose, heavy book. It's full of so much of what makes life beautiful and difficult and interesting, and Newman's style brings warmth and light to a dark topic.

"'I feel like I'm trying to love a scalpel.' I knew what he meant. But really I was like a squid, sending out clouds of poisonous ink and crying 'why won't you see me? Why can't you find me?'"

There were so many hard-hitting, breathtaking lines scattered throughout the book, and I appreciate the care Newman took with both the content and the reader. I also really appreciated how Edi's decline was depicted and handled. and while I wish these two friends could have had 10 more lifetimes together, the author delivered a strong sense of closure as well - which you don't often get from books about death.

I absolutely loved it, and I'll think about Edi and Ash for a long time.

Tugging on my heartstrings this story resonated with me. I was a little wary before starting it as I knew it was set in a hospice, and although it tugged on my heartstrings it had me sobbing and laughing in equal measure.

Edi and Ash have been best friends from infancy through adulthood, they’ve seen each other through every milestone in life and are now facing the toughest one together. Edi is in palliative care and Ash is by her side every day supporting her through her last weeks. Ash reflects on a lifetime of friendship while also struggling through her grief.

Centred around death, this book is inspiringly life affirming filled with love, compassion, and hilarity. Through the daily lives of these characters Newman shows us the beauty and wonderful side of life. The characters are vibrant and lovable, though you may be left questioning some of the decisions Ash makes through the book. From Bella’s unusual statements to Honey’s unbounding love and care for his estranged wife, each character is original and special.

A love letter to friendship, this book will carry a special place in my heart.

We All Want Impossible Things. by Catherine Newman.

I adored this book.. It left me feeling bereft, grateful and to quote the book sitting here " feeling all my feelings".

I have put off reading this book for months because it is a book about terminal cancer, set predominantly in a hospice and I can understand why that might put you off too but this book is a gem. Catherine Newman has managed to write a book about dying that is also very very funny. This book made me laugh out loud several times and made me smile constantly when reading, albeit , through tears. in parts.

Edi and Ali have been best friends almost all their lives. They meet in preschool and grow up together, college, drinking, travelling, marriages, infertility, raising children. They are each others back up memories. Edi is diagnosed with terminal ovarian cancer, there are no treatment options left and she is discharged from a New York hospital to a hospice near to where Ali lives in Massachusetts. The book is set during the final few weeks of Edi's life as Ash cares for her. By its description, this book has no right to be as funny as it is but it really is so full of joy and humour and chaotic messy energy. Each character is written realistically with such warmth and wit and its apparent when reading that the book is shrouded in personal experience.

There is so much life affirming beauty in these pages. I loved the prose and the author's style of writing and how magnificently she captures the wonderful, messy elements of life, friendship, relationships, parenting ,love and loss.
One of the more gorgeous books I have read in ages. A resounding five stars from me and all my feelings. Please don't be put off by the subject matter, this is an enriching, engaging, wonderful read. I adored it.

3.5 stars rounded up

Edi and Ashley have been best friends since they were children and have been through everything together, both the good and the bad. So when Edi is diagnosed with terminal cancer Ashley’s world is turned upside down. After being discharged from hospital into hospice care, it’s Ashley who is there for her. Who gets Edi her favourite snacks. Who paints her nails. Who sits with her for hours on end reminiscing about their lives. Somehow Ashley has to both care for Edi and try to come to terms with the fact that soon she’ll no longer have her best friend to share her life with.

With such a tough subject matter it’s hard to see how this book could make you laugh. But it does. And that’s a testament to the writer and her talent. As well as being about their friendship, it’s also about their lives and we get to see quite a bit of Ashley’s life outside the hospice walls. And to be honest it’s a bit of a mess. Separated from her husband and currently sleeping with several people, some of whom actually work in the hospice, Ashley is coping with death in the most life affirming way she knows how.

I really wanted to love this book the way I know others have but it just didn’t completely work for me. Ashley was a character I went from liking, to loving to hating and then back again. She came across as a little too self obsessed and self pitying and while I had no problem with her sleeping with other people, I found the way she treated her estranged husband a little perplexing. I also found her family a little too good and quirky to be fully believable.

The scenes in the hospice with Edi were my favourite parts of this book and I found their friendship to be truly touching. These were two women who knew each other so profoundly and whose lives were so intertwined that it made the cruelty of separating them that much more gutting.

Overall this was a touching and funny book which did make me cry, it just didn’t reach me on a deeper level the way I was hoping it would.

Celebrates life, death & friendship

Thanks NetGalley & Randomhouse UK, Transworld publishers for the ARC in exchange of an honest review.

Edi & Ash have been best friends since childhood & have been through everything together until having kids. But when Edi is diagnosed with terminal cancer, Ash has to mold her life around her friend’s & assume care responsibilities. Together they reminisce & navigate the highs & lows of their life journey, learn to enjoy the time left with each other, however short it may be.

The first thing that strikes you about this book is the beautiful prose by the author. Her language just ebbs & flows like music. Some of the dialogues & sentences are so profound – they make you nod in understanding, while deciphering its inner meaning & relevance to our lives.

The portrayal of friendship between Edi & Ash is another highlight. They are like one soul but two bodies which reminded me of Kate & Tully from The Firefly Lane. The kind of involvement (or should I say interference? – oh the poor husband of Edi) Ash has in Edi’s hospice care is again comparable to that of Kate & Tully.

What really stands out is the humor that is integral to the story & the lighthearted undertone of the narrative - despite the grimness & imminent tragedy we are all looking at here. I have no idea how the author pulls this off – but she does – in an excellent way.

I only wished that some parts weren’t as boring & tedious. I felt that it just dragged & saw no point to some of the threads – like Ash’s troubled marriage. Her inner struggles & strained relationship with her husband seemed to have no bearing on the overall storyline.

However, this books deserves appreciation for the delicacy, subtlety & grace with which it deals with death- while at the same time rejoices life. It invokes introspection, questions the true meaning of life & asks us what we really want to make of our precious time on earth.

It does come with a fair share of trigger warnings – infertility, cancer & hospice care.

This is a truly special book about friendship in the midst of a terminal illness. As every review to date has mentioned, the worry is that this will be too depressing of a read but it isn’t at all. It is a celebration of love and friendship and finding joy in small things and lemon polenta cake. It is funny and full of genuine warmth. It is also devastating in describing the small heartbreaking moments in hospice environments. This is an unforgettable read that everyone who reads it will rave about!

I nearly didn't request the ARC for this book but I am so glad that I did. Catherine Newman has dedicated this book to her friend who died from terminal cancer and her knowledge of the subject and her love for her friend shines from every page. Edi and Ash have been friends for over forty years, they have shared all that life threw at them, their secrets, their sorrows and the joys but fate had one more curved ball to throw their way, Edi had terminal cancer.
This story follows the final weeks of Edi's life, it should be a very depressing read but somehow it isn't, there are so many very funny elements to the story, the banter between Edi and Ash, the very open banter between Ash and her daughters Jules and Belle, the ongoing saga of Ash and the men that she is sleeping with whilst her very supportive ex husband is still very much in the foreground with everyone willing them to get back together.
On the flip side you can feel Edi's desperation at the thought of leaving her loving husband Jude and even more so her seven year old son, Dash. Ash's comforting speech when she tells Edi that she, his mum had done all the groundwork in his formative years enabling Dash to flourish as he grows into a man, had me reaching for the tissue box.
The love, joy and laughter at the hospice paints a very different picture to what people would imagine, Cedar singing his songs for the residents, the animals wandering about, but what shines through the most is the love that was in Edi's room, it was palpable.
A very well written book from the heart, immensely enjoyable highlighting that there is light through the sadness.
I received a free copy of this book and my review is voluntary.

I started this just before Christmas, and despite knowing that it was about someone with a terminal illness, I felt like it would be too upsetting so put it to one side.

However, I wanted to try again to read it before publication date and I'm so glad I did. Yes, it is very emotional and you will cry buckets but it's so life-affirming as well. It's actually less about Edi (who is in hospice care) and more about Ash, her best friend, whose life is a bit of a mess.

If you can't believe that a book about end-of-life care can be funny, you must try this. It shows us that life CAN and DOES go on.

I loved this book. Heartbreaking and heartwarming in equal measure. So few books focus on the relationship we have with our best friends and few focus on the end ... This does both. I loved how the mundane and profound interspersed in this novel. So much of what Newman wrote resonated with me. The deep love you have for family and friends even when you screw things up. We definitely all want impossible things, and sometimes we have to settle for loving what is. "Everyone does, and yet it's unendurable. There is so much love inside of us. How do we become worthy of it? And then where does it go?"

It's hard to imagine a funny book about palliative care - but We All Want Impossible Things by Catherine Newman is exactly that. Set in rural Massachusetts, most of the action takes place in a hospice. The narrator, Ashley, is a 45-year old woman, and her best friend since childhood is dying of ovarian cancer.

The book opens with the scene when it becomes clear that no further treatment is possible. Edi and Ash (and Edi's family: husband Jude and brother Jonah) decide Edi should move from her home in New York City, to a hospice in Ash's small hometown.From this point until the inevitable end, the narrative deals with Edi's declining health and mental state.

I initially found Ash's relentless joking and funniness a bit jarring. But it didn't take long until I was absorbed in the rhythm of it, and by the end I could feel the wisdom in Newman's blend of light and dark.n addition to the humour, Ash's coping strategies include her loving connection with her two grown daughters; her charming, unpredictable relationship with her ex-husband; and a surprisingly active sex life.

Ash's relationships outside the hospice also support the narrative arc of the novel. We always know what will happen at the end; the question is how we get there..Above all this is a book about friendship, In this novel, enough of Edi and Ash's shared memories are captured that you understand what the sum of them mean - both to the one who is dying, and to the one who is left.

"I have the feeling you'd have," Ash says, "if there were a vault with all your jewels in it, everything precious, only the person with the combination to the lock was hanging on to a penthouse ledge by a fingertip." Whether that metaphor works for you or not, read this novel. You'll cry, you'll laugh, and by the last page you'll know how it feels.

'We All Want Impossible Things' by Catherine Newman

This book tells the story of Ash and Edi. Like all relationships their friendship has been shaped by the ups and downs of life but it has endured through the years. Edi is now in a hospice receiving end of life care and Ash is supporting her through it but Ash is struggling, her life is messy and she is trying to find her way.

I think what affected me most as I read this book was the singularity of Edi and Ash's friendship and they way it linked the people closest to them. I was constantly struck by what a rare thing they had and how lucky they were to have found each other. The beautiful writing takes you to the heart of their relationship and their shared history and makes it is impossible not to become wholly immersed in their story. Yes there are some heart sinking moments of sorrow but it's a story which is also very very funny and full of life.

And though I was keen to read this book I wasn't sure if it would be a good fit for me. My young daughter has cancer and is going through chemotherapy and I wondered if the topic would be too emotive but it took me away from my own situation and offered a life affirming story which buoyed me rather than pulled me down.

If you're looking for a book which will really connect you with the characters and make you weep and laugh out loud while offering up some wisdom then this one is for you.

It will take you on a rollercoaster of emotions.

It will make you want to grab life by the balls.

It deserves the hype.

You should read it if you get the chance.

It will be in the shops in less than a week - January 12th.

Thank you to @netgalley and @doubledaybooks for an ARC of this book.

A heartwarming and heartbreaking read.. Astory of love, loss and friendships told through the final days of one of the friends.

I've read the quarter of the book. It's about the friendship of two women, one of them dying in a hospice all through the book (up to the point I've read that is). To me, the story didn't go anywhere and I had difficulty following the dialogues which were jumping here and there, often back in time.

At one point, a new patient arrives in the hospice: a baby in a cot, dying. Most probably it has nothing to do with the main plot (if there's one), but that was it, I couldn't read this on.

Heartbreaking yet equally heartwarming.

It took a moment to get into the author's style of writing, but once I was into it I couldn't put it down. Even when you know how it will end. But it's that disjointed feelings around what people feel and do when grieving and how grief shows up in so many different ways even before the person is gone.

*trigger warnings for anyone who has lost a loved one, especially to cancer

We all want impossible things by Catherine Newman

This book reminded me of The last days of Rabbit Hayes which was one of my top reads last year. Edi and Ash have been best friends forever, going through many milestones together. When it is time for Edi to go in to a hospice it is Ash who is there to support her. The book is sad due to the subject matter but it is also a lovely story about friendship and it really made me laugh in places. It is heartbreaking, hilarious and beautifully written. A 4.5-5 stars read for me.

Thank you to netgalley, the author and publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review. We all want impossible things is out on 12th January 2023.