Thank you to Netgalley and Little Brown Group UK for the ARC. This is an honest review and all views are my own.

This is a gritty coming-of-age story about Malaya, a Harlem-born teen growing up in the 1990s. She is shy, funny, creative, intelligent. However, as is so often the case with women and girls, all people can see is her size. We see her from the age of eight, attending WeightWatchers, then in her teens contemplating bariatric surgery: the only conversations that take place around her are about her weight.

We see Malaya struggle through her teenage years, getting bigger and bigger. She is vulnerable and abused by certain males in her life and her lack of self respect prevents her from doing anything about it. However, it is not until tragedy strikes in her personal life that things start to change positively for Malaya.

This was not an easy book for me, personally, to read - maybe it was the subject content. It felt very hopeless for quite some time. However, the book does end on a positive note. After all, this is a coming-of-age story and Malaya learns a lot about herself and her own outlook on life along the way.

The characters in the book were wonderfully clear and colourful, and Harlem itself seemed to sing as a character. Everyone was realistic and anyone with a multi-generational family will see shades of themselves. I think throughout, I just wanted the positivity to come much sooner!

What really struck me with this narrative was the message behind it that will be so familiar to a lot of women out there: weight issues are passed down through the generations. It seems to be a self-perpetuating narrative that has a mind of its own. This is something I know I have witnessed first hand but seeing it in black and white within the book got me thinking about how many other women have lived under this shadow.

Sullivan’s is an important and fresh voice in the coming of age genre. I was completely immersed in 8 year old Malaya’s life. We’re taken to 1990s Harlem in all its glorious variety and richness; its music, its art its street food. And into the heart and mind of Malaya as she grows up to discover herself and negotiates life’s pressures.
Coming from a high achieving family, she attends an elite, mainly white prep school, has a professor for a mother and a waspish grandmother, who desperately try to get her; to lose weight, for Malaya is obese; and attracts much cruel and destructive attention in public, school and at home.
Despite this, she puts on her lipstick, her big man clothes and hoodlum boots and lives for food. And art and hip hop.
Once tragedy hits her family and hormones and sex rear their heads, an impressive and self assured young woman emerge.
Thank you #NetGalley and #Little Brown Book Group UK, for my advance copy.

This was an interesting read looking at one girl as she moved from being a 'big girl' to dangerously obese - it touches on the problems of the diet industry, how families affect us and also how until you decide it is time to do something nothing can help.
People have talked about the positive mentions of food in this book but I didn't find that but I did like the book as a whole but would be careful who I would recommend it to.

An enjoyable, but often slightly difficult and triggering read. Not entirely sure what its message or POV was.

Ironically, Malaya's life is made small by the people around her who think about her solely in relation to her growing weight. They are so focussed on her physical mass, they fail to see that she her spirit is shrinking with every thoughtless word or comment that is supposed to be 'care' and 'for her own good.' Nobody knows what is for Malaya's own good because nobody knows Malaya.

We watch Malaya attempting to save herself from not just everyone around her, but also her parent's disintegrating marriage and the slow erosion of the black community she is growing up in. Every attempt to empower herself by behaving like the world expects chips away at a bit more of her until a series of events lead her to make changes for herself.

This is achingly sad. It's scalpel sharp on fat phobia and the damaging effects it has on the individual but also generationally. It also has an extremely strong sense of place and purpose and is a master class in intersectionality.

Engaging book that contributes to the vast catalog of writing on living in Harlem. Definitely fits in the literary tradition while offering plenty knew. you really grow to care for the character.

I really loved getting to know Malaya throughout this coming-of-age novel, and found her younger self’s thoughts on womanhood and femininity touching and very emotive. The second half picks up when she’s a teenager and further explores her challenges of living as a young Black woman in a body that is open to everyone’s comments and opinions, as well as the breakdown of her parents’ marriage and her own mental health. Overall I thought the writing was powerful but at some points felt a little bit repetitive.

tw: fatphobia, food shaming, eating disorders

Not many good things happen in this book. About 80% of it is, honestly, fairly depressing. We don’t hear Malaya’s actual voice much at all - she seems to be silenced in favour of all that is going on around her. And yet.. I quite liked it?! The writing was vivid and it really did make me feel transported to 1990s Harlem at points.

I have had to DNF this at about 50%. It is seemingly marketed as adult fiction but this very much reads as YA which is not something I enjoy.

I have a lot of issues with this book. Firstly, it is very slow, at 50% very little has happened. In terms of the writing, when it comes to what is going on there is a lot of telling, rather than showing, which adds to the feel of it being aimed at a younger audience. What the main character does/says/thinks also doesn't match the age she is supposed to be, at least not for the first 30% of the book where she is under 10.

I think a younger audience would probably enjoy this, and for those struggling with weight and sexuality it might be quite a useful book but it is not for those that don't read/enjoy YA.

This is a YA book that could definitely be read by older readers as well. I loved this authors writing style. The characters and settings were incredibly vivid. Well worth a read.