I'm always skeptical about stories related to mental health. Almost always, there is suffering and then a huge happy ending. And that is what we have here in If Tomorrow Doesn't Come but with religion added in for effect.

I've suffered from bipolar disorder all my life, and have lived through some of the worst depressions imaginable. Not one time in all of my 50 years have I, or anyone else I know, made a breakthrough such as Avery encounters. Maybe it happens, but I think that mostly it doesn't.

But, I guess it wouldn't be fiction if it held true to life. I also couldn't get past the religious aspects of this book. I understand the significance to the story, but it didn't sit well with me.

I didn't care for this book. It just wasn't for me. I award If Tomorrow Doesn't Come 3 out of 5 stars.

Special thanks to theWriteReads and Netgalley for providing me with an eARC!

St. Jude presents us with an overall unique story. If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come is a raw coming-of-age tale where the characters are forced to come to terms with not only the reality of who they are and what that entails but also come to terms with the fact that they will die in a week. Being on the cusp of adulthood is overwhelming for everyone; add in the world ending, and you have a recipe for incomprehensible stress. St. Jude captors the emotions of all the characters in a very real way, whether they have accepted their fate, are frantic, or simply numb.

This book will make you feel everything, very intensely. It is full of triggers, and it’s a little difficult (emotionally) to read at times. But if you can handle it, the payoff is worth it in the end.

My lived experience was similar to Avery’s in several ways, so this book might have been harder for me to read than others. I was older than Shelby when I realized I might be queer, but I, too, fell in for one of my best friends. But unlike her, I was never brave enough to tell my very conservative Bible belt family. I’m always so proud to read about teens living their truths, as difficult as they may be, because it gives me hope for future generations of LGBTQ plus kids.

Like Avery, I adored Cass and Peter. Her best friend and brother were amazing characters, developed so beautifully. Almost too beautiful sometimes. But that showed the author’s wonderful ability to show us Avery’s rose-colored view of the world through her depression filter. While I don’t experience depression, I do have severe anxiety, and it can cause similar issues. The relationship between them all was so wonderful, I wished I could be a part of it.

The clear, real, raw representation of Avery’s mental illness was beautifully done. I felt every moment intensely in my soul. This sort of representation is important and needed in our society. The way Avery was represented is also important. She was drowning, and no one seemed to notice. It’s important for people to see these kinds of representations so they can realize that sometimes depression doesn’t look the way they think it does.

Who’s It For?
If you have depression, I don’t know if it’s a good idea to read this book. But I’m not a professional, and you know yourself best. But this is probably one of the saddest books I’ve ever read, even though I enjoyed it immensely. It was also so incredibly hopeful. But you had to get through a lot to get to that hope. So, I have to tell you to please take care of your mental health and be forewarned.

Also, this is billed as a Young Adult novel, but we could also easily categorize it as New Adult. The main characters are early college age, but there are flashbacks to their earlier life. As an adult in my mid-30s, I found it easily relatable and enjoyable as well. I don’t think it would be appropriate for younger teens, but it has something for everyone above that age.

Rating: 4 out of 5.
4 Stars!

Synopsis:

We Are Okay meets They Both Die at the End in this YA debut about queer first love and mental health at the end of the world-and the importance of saving yourself, no matter what tomorrow may hold.

Avery Byrne has secrets. She’s queer; she’s in love with her best friend, Cass; and she’s suffering from undiagnosed clinical depression. But on the morning Avery plans to jump into the river near her college campus, the world discovers there are only nine days left to an asteroid is headed for Earth, and no one can stop it.

Trying to spare her family and Cass additional pain, Avery does her best to make it through just nine more days. As time runs out and secrets slowly come to light, Avery would do anything to save the ones she loves. But most importantly, she learns to save herself. Speak her truth. Seek the support she needs. Find hope again in the tomorrows she has left.

If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come is a celebration of queer love, a gripping speculative narrative, and an urgent, conversation-starting book about depression, mental health, and shame.

CW/TW: Depression/References and Mentions of Suicide/Attempted Suicide/Suicide Ideation/Homophobia/Lesbophobia/Violence/ others may be present.

Rep: Lesbian MC, Lesbian LI, Asexual side character, POC side characters, MC with Depression.

Book Info

Genre: Young Adult, Queer, LGBT, Romance, Science Fiction
Length: 416 Pages
Publishing: 9th May 2023
Amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tomorrow-Doesnt-Come-Jen-Jude-ebook/dp/B0B9JBMTGJ
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62039307-if-tomorrow-doesn-t-come
If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come, by Jen St Jude is a tender, heart-wrenching and emotional read that is sensitive and personal.

Honestly, this read was equal parts beautiful and heart-breaking, it was such a personal and touching read that handled all of the themes in such a realistic way.

Firstly, the premise of the end of the world occurring in just a few days was fascinating to watch play out – it constantly kept me on my toes, the tension of the days counting down and the actions of everyone in response to this news was incredibly intriguing to read about. I also loved how it was used as the backdrop to a much more personal story, it worked incredibly well in cohesion with the more personal story of Avery and her depression. It is bittersweet and yet at the same time there is an element of hope.

The actual writing was incredibly immersive and easy to read. The depth and sensitivity of the personal growth and journey of Avery was truly gripping and had me hooked from page one. Similarly, the dual timeline worked well to show how Avery got to this point. We get the countdown to the end of the world and then flashbacks to Avery before university – which I think worked particularly well in highlighting the spiralling effects of depression. There was also something more to the prose a melancholic beauty in the freedom within the coming end of the world and Avery’s growth in this time.

While the end of the world plotline is fascinating and a perfect backdrop to this story, Avery’s personal storyline is the true core of the book. Avery is dealing with depression and she wants to end it all, but the news of the end of the world makes her hold on a bit longer, and gives her the opportunity to find it in herself to live again.

I don’t want to spoil the book so I’ll keep it brief but the story is a phenomenal, realistic look at depression and the internal chaos it can cause. I loved watching Avery grow into herself and find some happiness in the midst of a world ending tragedy. But what truly gets you about this book is just how easy it is to connect with Avery, her experiences, the feelings she has, everything is just so raw that it speaks to you.

I also enjoyed Avery and Cass’ relationship as it developed over the course of the book it was sweet and messy and real. And it worked well within the wider dynamic of Avery’s family and social circle. But again! avoiding spoilers! You’ll just have to read it for yourself!

Overall, If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come is a phenomenal, personal, raw look at depression, love, family and self-worth – it is sensitive, emotional and heart-wrenching but also beautiful. We need stories like this.

About the Author
Lambda Literary Fellow Jen St. Jude (she/they) grew up in New Hampshire apple orchards and now lives in Chicago with her wife and dog. She has served as an editor for Chicago Review of Books, Just Femme & Dandy, and Arcturus Magazine. When she’s not reading or writing, you can find her cheering on the Chicago Sky and Red Stars. If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come is her first novel.

*Thank you to Netgalley, TheWriteReads and Penguin for the eARC and spot on the tour!*

I'm struggling to write an objective review of If Tomorrow Doesn't Come - it's such an emotive experience, and had me welling up and fully crying at several points. However, despite the premise (and my tears!), this is such a hopeful book - I felt lighter upon finishing it. I would heed the trigger warnings, however - it might not be the right time for this book to be helpful for every reader.
From a purely storytelling standpoint, I was absolutely riveted - this was the quickest I've read a novel in quite a while. The journeys of the different characters also all felt well realised, and the ending felt satisfying and conclusive whilst still being open-ended.

Genre: YA dystopian LGBTQIA+ romance
A must read for fans of YA LGBTQIA+ romance and a love of pre/post apocalyptic dystopian stories.

The book deals beautifully with struggles in mental health, identity, sexuality, relationships and addresses the impact of bias especially from close family and friends.

I loved the characters in the book in particular Aisha who surprised me throughout and offered a diverse perspective on almost everything which was great to see. The relationship between Cass and Avery although complex and at times strained is unbreakable. I loved that Class was so strong in who she was and was so empowered by her family. This also demonstrated the power of advocates and allies and what we can do for one another to lift each other up.

Overall a bit of a slow burn, many topical struggles and issues addressed beautifully and I'm chuffed have been chosen for reading a book that showcases the beauty of diversity even if it's the end of the world ❤️🌍

My thoughts




Narrative and Plot



If Tomorrow Doesn't Come is a heartfelt coming-of-age story that happens literally at the end of the world. Avery is your protagonist, and she is going through some serious mental health issues. If reading about depression and suicidal tendencies is a trigger for you, then I would strongly suggest that you stay away from this one.

I have never read a book that describes loneliness in the way this book does. Depression among functional adults is so common and yet very less talked about. The plot is well-paced, but it lagged a bit towards the end. However, it conveyed a beautiful message that will stay with me for a long time.






Characters and Conflicts











Avery is the central character of the story. It is her journey that we follow and witness how each of the characters is connected to her life. Avery is struggling with life despite having a support system. That makes her character relatable to anyone. Despite having people around us, the walls we build are so high that we find ourselves all alone at some point.

I didn't care about some of the twists that happened at the end. Still, the plot pulled me back with its characters and the choices they made.

If you have experienced such loneliness at least once in your life, you would connect to these characters and see that each one is fighting their own battles in their own way. If we overlook the aspect of trauma bonding, there is hope even at the end of the world.







Conclusion





None of my words can do justice to the experience I had while reading the book
There were certain parts that gave me pause and made me wonder how could someone articulate the feeling of isolation in a universal yet intimate manner. Overall, I would say that this book is a beautiful depiction of mental health and coming of age, and the end of the world, all in one package.

If Tomorrow Doesn't Come has completely broken me! I finished reading it this morning, and I've spent the last two hours, from 6am to 8am, sitting on my sofa completely sobbing my way through it. Full on, teary, snotty, chest heaving sobbing, for a full third of the book. Even after I'd finished it, I found myself just wandering around my flat crying. It's one of the most intensely emotional things I can remember reading for a very long time.

The irony of this is that so much of the novel is about Avery not feeling. When it comes to depression, I feel like this book just gets it. It's not about feeling sad, it's about not feeling anything at all, and it is truly heart breaking to see Avery go through that. Little gestures like blowing out her birthday candles and making a wish takes on such deepness of meaning when she has nothing to wish for, no hopes, no dreams, no reason to make it to tomorrow, and watching her thinking about killing herself, and that journey from "I can" to "I will" is so hard, so moving, so powerful.

Much of this we see in flashbacks, as the book starts on the morning she's going to kill herself, and then moves between snippets of her life up to this point and the last nine days before an asteroid hits the Earth, killing everyone on the planet. It does this so effectively, with some foreshadowing telling us where parts of the story are going (we know early on that the last time she saw Cass she told her she hated her, which adds so much poignancy to the developing story of their friendship.)

If Tomorrow Doesn't Come shows us how easy it can be to lose yourself in depression, to the point where you believe you've got nothing to live for. It shows how it can affect people who look successful too. Avery is hard working, high achieving, popular, and it's so easy for people to miss just how much she's struggling, and how hard it is for her to open up to anyone about it. Even with the literal end of the world coming in fast, she finds it so hard to tell anyone what she was planning.

I love the focus of this book. There's an asteroid heading to the Earth, but there's practically no time at all spent on wider issues, like Government efforts to stop it, and barely any mention of media or science or military or anything like that after the initial announcements. The focus is razor sharp on Avery and her family, and the friends they welcome in. It makes this apocalypse a very personal one, the asteroid is a timer, ticking down to the end, an inescapable conclusion but this is a novel about a small group of people and how they face the end.

It's a novel, too, about hope. It's about love, about finding the people you love, accepting your feelings about holding on to them and about, ultimately, letting them go. Most importantly, it's about loving yourself, about recognising that you are a person deserving of love and happiness, despite your flaws, despite your failings, and letting those feelings in.

It might be a small story, just nine days in the life of a teenage girl, nine days she wouldn't have even had if she'd carried out her plan. But the way it is told, its beauty, its emotion, its empathy, is completely overwhelming.

If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come by Jen St. Jude is set on the campus of Eaton College and Kilkenny, New Hampshire. Since an asteroid will be approaching in nine days, everyone is trying to get somewhere before the world ends. The actual Kilkenny, New Hampshire doesn’t have any inhabitants so it might be the best place to be in the case of a real cataclysmic event. It seems as good of a place as any.

Avery Byrne has been attending Eaton College but things have not been going well. She has been depressed, failing classes, and has been kicked off of the soccer team. Avery actually contemplates suicide on the morning that everyone finds out about the asteroid. A phone call from her best friend, Cass, stops her from following through with the plan.

Avery is like so many people that are going through a rough time and lose hope. When she finds out about the asteroid, she has a purpose – Avery wants to see Cass before the end of the world. She is in love with Cass but they had a falling out before she could express her feelings. Avery is gay but hasn’t really told anyone including Cass.

Cass is a person that many of us would aspire to be – intelligent, artistic, and fun. She was living her best life in the city. It sounds like a dream life to be studying art and fashion. Hindsight is 20/20.

Avery ends up traveling home with her roommate Aisha, Professor Talley, and his pit bull. Professor Talley recently failed Avery in a literature class. It had to be an awkward situation to be in a car with someone who may dislike you or at least not understand you.

Sometimes it takes a major event to change a person’s life. It doesn’t have to be an asteroid to make an impact. So I understand the feeling that Avery has when she is trying to fix things while she can. It’s an interesting feeling to be so depressed and then have an epiphany. Even if Avery couldn’t fix everything, I was glad that she was present for the days that she has left on earth.

If you enjoy Apocalyptic LGBT+ romances then you will love If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come. If you only like boring books, then it could be time to shake things up by reading this book.
Thank you to The Write Reads and NetGalley for letting me join this book tour! I hardly even had to beg. I would have pleaded with everyone because I wanted to read this book so much. In my opinion, it was worthy of possibly doing all of the implorings.

You know, I was somewhat okay (maybe a bit down) during most of this read, but then the final quarter of the book hit me so hard, I cried the rest of the way through. Full on, sobbing. Once again, I’m reminded on why I like to read in my own room with the door closed.

On the morning of her birthday, Avery decided to take her own life. She had cleaned up her personal belongings, deleted every photo of herself from social media, wrote her goodbye letters, went to the forest, and planned to drown herself in the river. Then her best friend, Cass called dropping the news about the asteroid due to hit Earth in a matter of days. There’s talk of research to try and stop or redirect it, but there’s no research that’s going to make it in time. It will hit and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. So Avery plans to try and make it through the next nine days until impact. If she can just make it through the next week and half, she can spare her loved ones the pain of her death. So Avery scratches her original plans and heads back to the pandemonium on campus and with a little help, begins the journey back home to her parents with her roommate in toll; Aisha who is desperate to get back to her own family in Nigeria.

There’s so much emotion in this book. A lot of it hits you deep and hard and everything is so painful. The description of depression was so real. It’s not just sadness. There’s also the neverending sense of guilt involved. It’s an ocean that you swim in with the shores never coming up in sight. And, when that’s not present, there’s just a void of apathy and emptiness. There’s also the discussion of religion and religious guilt. I grew up in a very Catholic household where both my maternal and paternal grandmothers were extremely religious and anything that’s not in the [biblical] norm was a sin. I remember during a random family dinner, an aunty that sat next to me was eating her crab legs while whisper-reminding me that if I don’t get baptised, I’ll go to hell when I die. That’s just baptism, so imagine the other far more hurtful conversations us kids got. Through much of her childhood, teenage years, and even as a young adult, Avery struggles with her religion versus who she is herself. After a particular incident, the fear of the mortal sin she could never erase, no matter how much redemption, becomes a pivotal moment that shapes Avery’s life. Between the depression and the religious guilt and struggles, I think the author did an amazing job of depicting both.

The plot bounces back and forth between present day and the past with no real chapter markers except for titles like “four days to impact” (present-day) or “three years to impact” (past) with the past chapters doing a fantastic job at showing the readers exactly what makes Avery who she is today. Both the present and past tense chapters are in chronological order and eventually, you’ll be left with only the present chapters. Between the past and present chapters, they’re both amazing with certain chapters that were heart-racing and you’re trying to speed read through one POV [i.e. present tense] to get back to the other POV [i.e. past] only for the speed-read chapter to end up being even more intense so that you’re now trying to speed read through the other [i.e. past] tense instead. It swaps too, with present and past always holding your attention until you’re somehow at the end of the book already, feeling all sorts of emotions because that was such an experience and there’s so much to process. A page-turner for sure.

But my favorite part of the book has to be the characters. There’s the main characters, Avery and her best friend and childhood crush, Cass whose relationship squeezes your chest as you read through their entire life from their childhood days to the present college one as they discover both their own selves as well as what they mean to each other. Their rollercoaster of growth was my favorite thing about this book and by the end, I was a wreck especially with that gorgeous ending. Then there’s family and all the flaws that comes with such as Avery’s deeply religious mother, the ever optimistic father, and Avery’s best friend and biggest supporter and older brother, Peter as well as his family, his wife and son, Georgia and Teddy. There’s Avery’s college roommate, Aisha, who dubs Avery as “the queen of secrets” and their friendship starts distant and cold. There’s also Avery’s professor, Dr. Talley, who she believes hates her guts but tags along on the ride back to her home, although I had originally questioned why he stuck along and then stayed. Avery’s heart to heart conversation with him becomes a major moment down the road and marks where I started to sob my way through the rest of the book. Everyone’s got their strengths and good traits as well as their flaws (except, I can’t find any flaws in Teddy whom Cass tries to teach “Fuck The Patriarchy” but it comes out as “Fuck the pay-key-airy” and that’s the best thing ever about him and I want to pinch and squeeze his cheeks, I love him so much!). I loved the the interaction between Avery’s family and friends. So many people complement someone else in the book and I loved the dynamic of it all; even little Teddy was important in his own ways.

This was a devastating and powerful read that was gut wrenching at times and beautiful others. The characters were wonderfully done, the depression description felt accurate, raw, and was so painful to read; it wasn’t a display of a singular sadness but as a void of empty emotions that held so much guilt in it. The ending was beautiful and so full of hope that I cried then too. The author did an amazing job on this one and now I’ve found yet another to go on my authors-to-watch list. Kudos. I’ll go stare at a wall in book hangover shock now.

*Side-note: The cover is stunning, gorgeous, and after reading the book, holds so much emotion behind it. Beautifully done!

First things first; the story ends before the asteroid hits, so we never find out if our heroes survive. However, that doesn't matter. The asteroid isn't the point; it's the catalyst, but after that, all that matters is how our heroes react.

And there's a huge range of reactions here, which is great to see. Some are practical, some are emotional, some are nothing much at all, which is very relevant to the story. People move and change their reactions as well over the nine days, which feels very realistic as well.

The time jumps were an interesting way to find out the backstory, and how things that happened years ago were still affecting Avery in the days leading up to the asteroid. I did feel that the constant references to 'the thing that happened in New York' were a bit overdone and drew attention away from everything else, but it wasn't much to be annoyed about.

There's a lot of beautiful quotes and ideas in this book - I tried to pick one out to quote here but there were too many! I think Peter's painted quote, near the end, might be my choice, but it's hard to choose. This is hard to read at times, but it's so worth it. Give it a try.

If a book can make me ugly cry then the author has done an amazing job of sucking me into a world of characters where I forget where and who I am for that time. A book that stays in my heart and head ling after the last page is always a sign that I have read something amazing and with If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come – that’s exactly what I got.
Jen St Jude really does get a brilliant balance between the stark contrast of depression and suicidal thoughts but always the beauty in the world that makes the darkest of holes worth crawling out from – no matter how painful. I hope people read this book and that it helps them through tough times and find a different path without feeling they are being downplayed or condescended to.
The characters are so diversely written just like the social circles and friends we find ourselves with in real life. I love this! All the characters make an impact on Avery in various ways and are equally important.
Avery is a character who will break you but also make you feel hope and joy and it’s such a confusing but relatable mix of emotions to feel. I felt as though I was peering into her most-deepest thoughts and intimate moments and at times I really felt as though I shouldn’t be there intruding. But, she’s a hard character to walk away from.
If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come is a beautifully written, emotional rollercoaster of a novel and it is so difficult to put into words how amazing it is. It’s utterly breathtaking and heartbreaking at the same time.
Don’t take my waffly word for it – go check it out yourself.

If Tomorrow Doesn't Come is perfect for anyone that likes sapphic friends-to-lovers stories that will absolutely destroy you but are so very joyful at the same time.

Moments before Avery can go through with her plan to kill herself she finds out that an asteroid is supposed hit the earth in 9 days time. She decides to return home to her family and Cass, her best friend and the girl she has loved her entire life. What follows is a story about Avery and her family trying to make the best of the time left and stay hopeful, filled with themes of love, grief, family and friendship as well as beautiful commentary on depression, homophobia, and religious trauma.

This was so incredibly sad, depressing and gut wrenching but also so beautifully happy and hopeful.
With some of the most beautiful writing I have ever read Jen St Jude did an incredible job touching on depression, suicide and religious trauma.
Over the course of this story I fell deeply in love with Avery, Cass and their story. Their relationship and their love for each other is one of my favourite to have read about.
The story touched, broke me and put me back together in best way possible and though the ending was left open it left me very satisfied.

I want to express a Thank You to Jen St Jude for including a very thoughtful and detailed author's note and Content warning at the beginning of this book, which we sadly do not get to see very often.

Thank you to NetGalley, Penguin and Jen St Jude for providing me with an ARC of this book and the opportunity to dive into this wonderful, beautiful story. It was one of my 3 most anticipated releases of the year and very much did not disappoint.

Thank you to Write Reads and Penguin Books for providing me with a copy of this book! I voluntarily leave this review!

Poised on the edge of a dock, on a cold February morning, Avery is ready to die. College was supposed to be the restart she needed. The place where she could finally be herself, but nothing has worked out the way she thought it would. Then she learns an asteroid is heading for Earth and there are only nine days left to live. Avery chooses to step back from the water and be with her loved ones for the end of the world. After all, it’s nine more days. Yet as time runs out, Avery will discover what it means to live once more.

Jen St. Jude tells Avery’s story through a combination of past and present, showing Avery’s path to discovering who she is and how depression began to take hold. The writing does a wonderful job of bringing to light tough subjects such as mental health, sexuality, and homophobia. All of which Avery faces throughout the course of the novel. And Jen St. Jude does this with such care, outlining Avery’s struggles to readers in a way that allows them to understand her and see where Avery is coming from.

There are many moments in this book where the reader will feel uncomfortable and displaced alongside Avery. From offhanded comments to religious undertones of worthiness, Avery’s struggle is brought to life in startling clarity. But there is also a thread of hope woven into the story. When the asteroid forces Avery to change her decision, she will take her first few steps toward a new reality. One that may end in nine days, but will show her the beauty of what life can be and how to enjoy her remaining time alongside loved ones.

If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come is a truly powerful novel. The characters leap from the page and lodge themselves firmly in the reader’s hearts. Avery’s struggle to be herself and be accepted is heartbreaking. From trying to feel at home in her own body, to searching for acceptance for who she is, Avery's journey will be sure to touch the hearts of readers.

Rating: 3.75

If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come is a captivating sapphic romance that explores the depths of depression, hope,love and the power of self-discovery. The story takes you on a journey with Avery as she struggles with depression and the impending end of the world. It’s a story to remind us to give a chance to ourselves.

Thanks to the publisher and the WriteReads Tours for the DRC of the book!

Well I’ve just finished this book and I’m lost for words. The storyline was very interesting and I liked that it kept jumping back in time as well as counting down the asteroid. However this book is very hard to read in places and touches on depression and suicide most the way through the book which made the storyline very sad. However there was also some very happy moments in the book too and I’d love to know if they ever did get to live in New York!

What a good book!

I enjoyed how unique and interesting this book was, as well as the authentic way in which depression was represented and written. Avery is a character that I think a lot of people, especially young queer people, will relate to. It delves slightly into religious trauma and familial homophobia but even though the rest of the novel centres Avery's depression, this book is not emotionally intense.

In terms of Avery herself, she was a good protagonist. Again, she felt like someone who I could know. She felt real in a way that the other characters of this book didn't. Her pain I felt like it was my own. Maybe because I understood her. Being queer myself and growing up in the Catholic education system, the type of rhetoric that Avery herself grew up with was similar to what we used to hear growing up in Catholic school. I also really liked Avery's relationship with her brother, I thought that was wholesome and adorable. I truly think that Jen St. Jude is going to be an author who will continue writing authentic main characters within a context that is unique and fresh within the overall Young Adult genre. Which is definitely needed in a space that feels overrun by the same story and same tropes, copy and pasted. It was a fast paced read, perfect for a weekend and I think a book with a wide audience who will thoroughly enjoy this immersive apocalyptic novel.

However, if I'm going to be honest, my enjoyment of this book didn't get to the point that I thought it would. I thought the story itself needed more time (both in the editing phase and the story itself) as some aspects of the novel needed to be given at least more time to develop. There were also elements of the story such as the random characters and events that occurred (the Professor and the whole Harley situation) was confusing and did not make sense within the overall flow of the narrative. I also had an issue (?) or lacked understanding pertaining to the entire asteroid coming to earth and destroy the planet as we know it. Only because a minor plot point of the novel is the idea that as the asteroid was probably going to hit the West coast, there was a chance that those on the East coast could survive if they planned it well. Notwithstanding the entire, you know, living in the aftermath of the asteroid hitting earth. And I might be getting confused as I don't know anything about asteroids but because they kept on using nuclear bombs as a comparison, I did not quite understand the effect that this asteroid would have on the rest of the world.

If, for example, the asteroid hit land on the West coast of the United States, why should people in the UK be worried about it? Especially if the asteroid was getting compared to a nuclear bomb - if the ripple of the asteroid didn't extend the physical bounds of the United States...how was it going to effect the rest of the world? Is it the climate aspect? If it hits water, the tsunamis and flooding I understand - but if it hits land? I needed to literally be told how this was going to effect the rest of the world and why this was an actual apocalyptic event.

Let's talk about the Professor. I still don't undertsand why this character was important enough to actually be a character and have page time, but alas, he did. From the onset, Avery tells us that this Professor, at their first class, had an issue with her because she is an athlete. And as a result, this Professor fails to have even an ounce of human compassion and empathy. I am not too sure if this character was meant to highlight the hypocrisy and lack of human emotions university professors have towards students (and therefore being a critique of tertiary education as a whole). However, the moment of 'confrontation', he literally says, 'well, how was i supposed to know you were struggling? You're an adult, communicate like one'. I found this entire dialogue to be incredibly ridiculous and pointless.

The structure of this novel, taking place over nine days (with some flashbacks) did the book a disservice. The content of this book required more time to sit with the characters, even if the story is heading towards an apocalypse, the development of the story and of the various relationships needed more time for the reader to emotionally invest in the story itself.

In saying that though, I definitely do recommend this book for readers of We Are Okay and They Both Die at the End. I think this audience would thoroughly enjoy the unique and fresh take on the genre that Jen St. Jude has pro

Oh, my poor heart! I don’t even know where to begin… First things first: I loved this novel. I am a sucker for a love story, and this is a lesbian love story so it doesn’t get much better than that! There is so much more packed in here though, like parental expectations, religion, suicidal thoughts and homophobia to name a few of themes. Whether you’ve experienced any of these yourself or not, I can almost guarantee that this book will touch something deep within you. Perhaps it’s because the characters are so very well-rounded that they come to life, or perhaps because the storytelling draws you in completely that you feel part of the story. Whichever the case, it’s an emotional novel that I won’t forget any time soon.

Three words to describe it. Heart-wrenching. Sweet.

Do I like the cover? Yes, even though Avery and Cass don’t look like that in my head!

Have I read any other books by the same author? No, this is a debut novel. I certainly hope there will be more.

What would you do if you had nine days left to live? Who would you spend your last week with?

Avery’s been secretly in love with her best friend Cass for years, but she knows that Cass doesn’t love her back. She’s tried to hold on for years, but her depression has gotten to be too much for her to handle. She’s prepared to end it all, but then she learns that “it all” is ending soon anyways. With 9 days left until a life-ending asteroid hits Earth, Avery decides to stay and spend what time everyone has left with her friends and family. Piling into a car, she fights to get back home, back to her family, and hopefully back to Cass.

This book was a very eye-opening read. It’s easy to look up and realize that you’ve stopped seeing hope in your life. Whether it be through a family member’s illness, struggles in work or school, or simply the chemicals in your brain mixing into a cocktail of depression and anxiety for no reason at all, mental health struggles can sneak up on you without you even realizing it. Avery tried to keep it all inside for so long and was almost lost because of that. If anyone is already struggling with those feelings, this book might either be a read that makes you feel less alone or it might be a book you need to save for when you feel like you’re in a better headspace. For me, it helped me to understand more where my friends and family members who struggle with depression & other mental health issues are coming from. What the world looks like through their eyes. And hopefully, how to support them in the future.

Avery’s and Cass’ story is one of being honest with yourself, allowing others to help you, being honest about what you need, and learning how to communicate healthily. They go through their own ups and downs but are able to truly let their guard down during this journey to talk about the past. I’ve been hunting for a good lesbian romance book, as I felt like I’d found very few that I’d enjoyed. (Looking at you Gideon the Ninth, a book I was so hyped for and so disappointed). This book definitely filled that gap for me, allowing me to truly fall into the story with characters that I loved.

The side characters in this book deserve some love as well. I didn’t like Aisha and Dr. Talley at the start, but that’s really because I was seeing those characters from Avery’s eyes. Once we had the chance to learn who they were as people rather than the roles they played in Avery’s life. It reminded me that even though a person can seem like someone you want to avoid looking at them through your own lens, each person has things going on in their lives that we will likely never know about. We all need to show more grace to one another.

I think my favorite characters next to Avery and Cass were Peter and Georgia. They literally were living my personal nightmare. I’ve told my mom several times that with the state of the world & global warming, I’m TERRIFIED of having children and being stuck in a horrific situation with no way to get them out. Whether that be a horrific storm like Hurricane Katrina, or a mass shooting, or even an asteroid hurtling towards Earth. Peter and Georgia had to hold it together for their child Teddy, a child they knew would never be able to grow up. They were such a healthy family, which really shone through during their final days together. I’m not sure if this book somewhat calmed those fears of mine, but I definitely felt soothed that a family was able to find peace within one another even in the midst of one of the worst situations possible.

I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a YA/NA book about mental health, love, the end of the world, and everything in between.

I received a copy of this book and this is my voluntary review.

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 books.

Avery is suicidal. She has no reason for her depression, it's just there, like her aunt's. But now the world is ending. Should she put off her plans and let the asteroid do it for her? She has 9 days to reconnect with her family and figure it out.

I'm not a fan of trigger warnings. But Avery's need to end things is all-consuming and palpable. The kind that makes the reader struggle to find breath. I found myself screaming at her to go to the health center, to talk to someone, anyone, because there are meds out there that can help with this. I just wanted her to feel even mildly better, to have one good moment because people shouldn't have to suffer in silence. But Avery has made her entire life a secret from people at school, her friends, and her family.

Amidst Avery's depression, there is the aspect of the world ending. But I wouldn't get too hung up on that because it's a background to the storyline. And while this is a sapphic romance, it's not perfect; it's as flawed as the people in the story, which makes it perfect in its own way. Did I cry while reading? Yes, yes, I did. But I also felt sad, happy, hopeful, depressed, angry, and so many other things that are difficult to name. This book has so much going for it; it really is a lovely read.