Thanks to NetGalley for providing a review copy of this book in exchange for a fair review.

I was a big fan of Jessica Fern’s first book, Polysecure, which I felt was a really insightful and effective overview of both polyamorous relationships and attachment theory. Compared to a lot of books on open relationships, I felt it was able to really dig into both the psychological complexities of opening yourself up, as well as looking beyond the narrow non-monogamous dynamics that tend to dominate books like this.

This follow-up, Polywise, promises a deeper dive into navigating open relationships, however I personally found it to be a bit more surface level than its predecessor. Fern admits as much in the introduction that this book was intended to come out before Polysecure and a lot of the topics covered feel more relevant to people who have yet to begin exploring non-monogamy or are new to it. I also felt it was much more focussed on particular types of poly/non-monogamous relationships and certain relationship dynamics that limited the book’s scope.

Fern is still obviously a very experienced voice on these topics and I’m sure many will find this book useful, but I don’t think it’s something I’d return to.

Having read "Polysecure" by the same authors, I was very excited to explore "Polywise", which seems like a natural continuation of the series on non-monogamy.

With many honest and practical examples, this book explores the transitions of the non-monogamous relationships, as well as structures and hierarchies within them. I found the exercises particularly helpful, especially in the context of my therapy and counselling work. The book teaches restorative conflict resolution, as well as offers tips on how to communicate better.

The only part I wasn't sure about, was the last chapter, concerning the evolution of self, which came across like an implied "holier than thou" when it comes to individuals practising non-monogamy "full time". It felt very different and more woo-woo from the rest of the book, that I found myself simply skimming through it.

Overall, I will be recommending this book to my clients as a resource to navigate non-monogamy.