Thanks to NetGalley, the publisher and the author for providing a free copy in exchange for an honest review!

5⭐

Wow, I definitely did not pick up this book expecting it to be such a gem. It's not perfect, but I think that it deserves this score because it's really close to it (I rarely rate fiction books so high, but this one really hit). This novel will stay on my mind for long, it's fantastic.

😍 The good:
The characters were lovable and the story was wholesome: it's never too late to be yourself and get close with the ones you fell apart from. It's a story of time and changes, of confidence, of connection, of grief but also of acceptance. This also felt like a feminist book written by a man, and a great one from that perspective!

I really liked the style, not too simple but not too flowery either, and to me it really reflected the British vibes. The metaphors and poetic elements illustrate the great writing, but also key elements from the story. The dark humour was easy to catch and fit the novel. The title seems also simple, but so relevant to the story.

😅 The not-so-good:
The book was indeed a bit slow at times, but not in a really bothersome way to me. It was also a bit on the shorter side, so it did not get to delve more into other characters' backgrounds. I wish that the blurb told less about what the story is about (it felt a bit like a spoiler), but I also understand why it has to drop the key idea of the story, otherwise it would be rather ambiguous.

📜 Some nice quotes:

"It takes a real man to dress like a woman."

"Imagine, some people go to their graves having only lived the lives other people chose for them."

"He continued flicking from page to page, every flower a reminder that we must each decide what's important to us and then treasure those things for as long as they're within reach."

"Sometimes the sun shines, sometimes it doesn't. All that matters is what you do with the day."

This is a deep and heart warming story that follows the life of a cross dresser at the age of 86 learning to accept and love themselves.

It was a quick and was read that I would recommend to anyone who enjoys literary fiction

I struggled to get into this at first but I’m glad I did. It was a truly heartwarming story that I have already recommended to others! The characters are heartwarming and likeable which lead to me not being able to put the book down.

Norman Cartwright is an 86 year old widower living amongst a small community of friends in Clacton, Essex. When his estranged granddaughter, Florence turns up at his house during her university break they build a heartwarming bond. Norman opens up about his long kept secret, that despite his job as a trucker for years and his marriage to his beloved late wife Betty, Norman has an alter ego called Ethel. Florence takes on the challenge of convincing her grandad it’s time to finally embrace his true self and that it’s never too late to be happy.

What I liked about this book was the relationship between Florence and Norman, it was comforting and sweet. The book also had a lovely sentiment that people’s opinions should never stand in the way of being yourself and everyone deserves to be accepted and celebrated. The fact that it took Florence, of a much younger generation to bring Norman out of his bubble to see that sentiment was touching too. This book would probably really resonate with those having trouble accepting who they are and embracing their identity.

It was quite slow at times and the main focus of the book was Norman’s character development rather than plot. I would have liked to have heard more about Florence’s story but her life was only touched upon here and there, with her impact on Norman being the main focus for her character.

A slow paced, easy read with a nice message and a calming seaside setting.

I can't say that I cared a lot at the start, but Norman won my heart so much. He is such a heart-warming character and this was super wholesome.

I would like to thank the author, the publisher and NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read an ARC of this book. I really enjoyed this book, it had great characters and a lovely story that made me laugh and cry.

I suppose this is a book about the fluidity of gender and the attitudes about cross dressing, transgender and homosexuality across the last 70 years or so. Florence turns up at her grandfather's house unexpectedly and together they start to get to know each other better than they have in the past. Norman, her grandfather, is a secret cross dresser, always wanting to express the feminine side of himself, but never being able to do that with family or acquaintances. Florence is really the catalyst to him letting himself show more of his alter ego, Ethel.
The plot is sweet and fairly predictable, but with flashbacks does document the acceptance (or not) of different gender and/or sexuality types in the UK since the 1950s. There is plenty of humour too which added to the enjoyment and the writing definately documents the British style of not talking about important issues (especially not with family) and the fall out this can cause
I liked the main characters very much and would have liked a little more exploration of family relationships, communication and how they are moving on. The book felt a little unfinished, but may be that was the intention!
Thanks to Net Galley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review

I actually can’t believe that this delightful book has so few reviews. I loved it so much - even with a gripe or two.

In Search of Ethel Cartwright features a bit of a grumpy old man, Norman Cartwright, whose life is upended when his long-lost granddaughter shows up at his front door. Looking to discover the secrets that have torn her family apart, she discovers her granddad’s long-hidden secret: he loves to cross-dress, and his alter-ego is named Ethel Cartwright.

There is so much to unpack in the book that, although addressing very big issues, is actually quite light (and intellectual, and funny). It pulls at the heartstrings when it painfully exposes the damage of having to live a secret life. I love the nuanced relationships. Norman dearly misses his late wife, but also recognises the damage she did by not learning more about his cross-dressing, and rather forcing him to hide that part of him. His introspection into blame - acknowledging both her part, his part, and history’s part - is commendable.

Although this is fiction, it does touch on the important distinction between drag, queerness, and transness. It shows where these communities intersect, and where they do not. It also, importantly, shows just how often marginalised groups have left one another in the lurch. In Norman’s past, his community felt it important to note that they were “normal” - not one of “those” men (not gay, and not trans). At the same time, we know that gay and lesbian communities have at times excluded the trans community. So I think it is important to acknowledge that.

Like a good British comedy, a few characters are stereotypes, like Sally, the nosey neighbour - and I am here for it. It would be remiss for the author not to include a character that is nose-in-the-air and finds it difficult to accept/understand.

Florence, the granddaughter, is delightful. Perhaps I identify with her because I have such a close relationship with my grandma. Someone has mentioned she does seem too “wise for her years” - that said, I know from my student days that people tend to underestimate what students understand. I did feel that Florence was a little idealistic about Norman being “himself” in public. Many times Norman said, “it’s not that easy,” and I do agree with that. I fully support Norman, but I just felt that Florence (like many cis people) lacked insight into the dangers people face when they embrace different gender identities.

I loved the gentle portrayal of people nearing the end of their lives, and their day to day activities. I would love more books from this POV, especially featuring grandparent/grandkid relationships.

A content warning that this book has an incident of violence against an elderly and cross-dressing person.

A heartwarming novel with a message of living life to the full.

I really enjoyed this, a lovely story of Norman and Florence, and discovering Ethel. I really loved how Norman and Florence’s relationship developed over the course of the book, and I really loved how they both helped each other to learn things about themselves and the importance of being true to yourself. I would have liked a little more of Florence’s story to be added in, as some parts felt a little stereotypical and perhaps more context would have helped there.

Some of the language used was a bit jarring to read, although it was corrected by Florence and put down to Norman’s age I did find it surprising to read.

Overall I really enjoyed reading In Search of Ethel Cartwright and would recommend it to anyone looking for an uplifting read.

One of those books that I couldn't put down, with characters that I found very hard to leave behind. The flashbacks referenced years that are very familiar and the book felt authentic. I know I will return to Norman and Florence and read this again. Thanks to Netgalley.

Softly-spoken but growing fiercer, follows a path you find familiar but still inspiring.

I've tried to branch out and read outside my 'sexuality' in the last few years, trying to understand the experiences and lives of others - what the magic of books can really do for you.

Here I found a story I'd seen in other iterations, but lovingly created into an inspiring Older Person story about finally accepting and celebrating who you are, and proudly being that person.

Norman is 86, his wife of sixty years has died, his children aren't in touch, he lives a quiet life of neighbour visits and canned beef stews. This is stirred up by the arrival of his colourful-haired physiccs-student granddaughter, who soon learns that the family secret of 'Grandad's woman' that he must have been seeing when he worked as a lorry driver all his wife was not in fact another woman - it was him. Norman was Ethel, only letting this side of himself out away from his home and family and certain shame and disgrace. But Florence, being of a new generation, is determined to not let this lie and does her best to bring both her family together and her grandfather out of his personal closet.

A story of a hidden personal history in times of social change, when sexual proclivities would have been more than tutted at.

It's lovely to see connection between generations, even if Florence does seem 'wise beyond her years' at times. Norman's secret self is one the reader may not personally understand but all of us understand hiding secrets that we feel will bring disgrace on ourselves or those we love, of keeping things back from those we love and having to live with the consequences... or be brave and let what will happen, happen.

A very enjoyable story with two nicely matched characters, and all the mixed-up problems of modern living and families.

With thanks to Netgalley for providing a sample reading copy.

A lovely feel good story about how it’s never too late to be true to yourself and find happiness.
I enjoyed this, it had a really positive message and I liked the characters. It was a light read even though it dealt with a difficult subject, and I thought that the author did a good job of keeping the balance between how different things used to be and how difficult change can be, even for those who want it most.

3. 25 stars

*eARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*

this was a really sweet book that dealt well and sensitively with the themes of cross-dressing and being open with those we love about who we are. it unfortunately fell short for me with the characters - i found norman great but florence felt a bit like a stereotype of a teenager, and her narrative perspective wasn't very engaging. i think the perspective changed too much and it made the book a bit confusing. overall sweet and wholesome but i doubt i'd reread it.

I found this a moving and charming novel that deals really sensitively with cross dressing and family secrets. I really felt for Norman and his fractured family, seperated by secrets none of them acknowledge, that is until Florence decides she wants to reconnect with her grandfather. Their relationship was wonderful, so caring and respectful of each other, they both bloomed as they got to know each other again.
The novel shows the historical consequences of being part of the lgbtq+ community and how it wasn't so easy to be your true self. I really liked that this novel deals with friendships and love of friends that support and accept each other rather than being about a sexual or romantic relationship as this is something I've not read much about before. A really heart warming read.

Couldn't really get into this book. Loved the idea, but the vibe just wasn't there for me. Bit bummed, but maybe I'll give it another shot when it's out. Hoping to fall for it then!

Wow, what a book. I was not expecting the content, but what a lovely story. I enjoyed the characters of Florence and Norman and the way they got on with each other. I would have like the story to have been a bit longer (or maybe I read it too quickly!) to delve a bit more into some of the characters, like Sally. I did think that Norman coming out as Ethel and waling down the street was a bit rushed as i'm not sure an 86 year old would do that, but maybe I was just thinking of people I know that age. Maybe they are more accepting that I know! However, it was a lovely read and i shall recommend it to my friends.

A really moving and heartwarming story. I enjoyed this overall, although it did lack in parts slightly for me. Thank you NetGalley and the publishers for allowing me to read this book ahead of its release.

I immediately fell in love with cross-dressing, self-described 'curmudgeon', Norman/Ethel and instantly warm Florence. I'm a sucker for a 'grumpy old person goes on journey with grand-child' story and this delivered, with an inclusive twist. It's a charming, touching book about friendship, identity and hope. I gulped this down over a couple of days - very enjoyable.

This was beautiful, life affirming, and very much a needed novel. I could imagine it being a Channel 4 series! I feel like the grand daughter suffered and almost became a plot device which is a shame but I understand why:

Oh my goodness this is an outstanding ,wonderful read .I cant recommend it enough ,i laughed and cried all the way through .