Member Reviews
I like this read. It was very interesting and refreshing to see a different view on dating and relationships. Good read.
This is an excellent guide for people who know that they are on the Ace/Aro spectrum but don't completely understand what that means for them or where they belong in the world with this identity. However, it is also an excellent book to help people who do not identify as Ace/Aro understand what people in the community really need in terms of support and understanding.
This book was jam packed with information about relationships focusing on the asexual/aromantic spectrum, but probably has some things sprinkled in that could help anyone of any identity. This book highlights the importance of the key things in relationships, platonic, romantic, sexual or otherwise (like boundaries, consent and similar things). Something that this book leaves you with when you're done with it is that relationships and/or friendships don't have one specific layout or way to go, you decide what each relationship is yourself between you and the other person (or people!) in said relationship.
Overall I really enjoyed this and, as an aroace person myself, appreciate the information this book has given me and is ready to give others.
A robust manual introducing the readers to many queer, asexual and aromantic terms (it's a spectrum!) and also dissecting elements of relationships - romantic, queer-platonic or friendships and showing how there isn't a default pattern that all relationships of specific type have all the components, and all other relationships don't have those components.
It emphasizes self-reflection, negotiation, communication and consent, instead of blindly following the "default script" of the society.
It can be very useful to young people, especially from more conservative areas, where knowledge about anything outside of cis- allo- hetero- monogamous amatonormativity is shunned and treated as if it doesn't exist - or shouldn't exist.
Overall, helpful and informative!
I thought 'The Ace and Aro Relationship Guide' by Cody Daigle-Orians was a thorough and informative resource for understanding ace and aro identities and relationships. The book is divided into two parts: the first half provides an in-depth plan with tools to navigate relationships, while the second half focuses on self-understanding and how these tools affect interactions with others. The author approaches the topic with empathy and a deep understanding, making it a valuable tool for both individuals and allies. My only criticism is that some parts felt repetitive, which made it hard to maintain attention at times. Overall, this well-organized and engaging guide is a must-read for anyone interested in ace and aro relationships. 4/5 stars.
This book provides a comprehensive guidebook to different types of relations one may have as an ace and/or aro person. I really enjoyed the emphasis on communication and consent. The book also mentions queer platonic relationships and how platonic relationships are often vastly undervalued. Reinforced by personal stories and examples, this book is a compassionate look at the ace spectrum community. I felt so empowered after reading this as an aromantic person.
Thank you NetGalley for the advanced copy!!
This was so thorough and involved! I wasn't sure what to expect but this was really informative for relationship knowledge and understanding of Ace, Aro and beyond. I feel so lucky to exist at the same time as Ace Dad. They really packed so much love into this book.
The first half is like a super in depth plan with tools on what you'll need to identify in your relationships and how they're typically navigated. The second half is more of putting all of that together and understanding yourself with those tools, how they affect you and others, etc. I don't fully fall under the Aro or Ace umbrellas but I learned so much from this even still.
I think my only main criticism was how relative some parts were. I felt like I was re-reading chapters or parts of them sometimes. My brain just couldn't hold the attention as much due to that.
This was an amazing addition from Cody and I'm very thankful I was able to read it early✨️
Thanks to NetGalley for my ARC!
I found this book very helpful and informative. I highly recommend this to anyone who wants to know more about healthy relationships, ace or allo.
The book came across to me as highly accessible, while still teaching me, a member of the community and person who works with LGBT youth, a few new terms.
The book is divided into two parts. The first builds out your ten-part relationship tool kit, with each element described in detail. This part could be also used as a self help guide, even if you're not looking for a relationship, as each chapter has reflections and acting on the concepts presented in it. This is important to build your boundaries and increase your chances on a successful relationship.
The second part goes more into the stages of a relationship, as well as types of relationships, including sex and romance if you choose to have them. Even though I've been well read on the aspec community for a bit, I did end up learning a few new terms, and since this community is much newer than the other GSRM communities, this will be a great insight for those just exploring.
There's a good resource section where you can learn more at the end of the book. In fact, this book with all the information it dishes out, could be used as a reference guide as well as a relationship guide.
One of the issues with reading this was a format but ultimately a found this to be such an interesting read and I’m grateful that new material continues to come out about anything aro/ace.
If I could give this book a million stars, I would.
The Ace and Aro Relationship Guide is so refreshing and illuminating, and couldn't have come at a more perfect time. While LGBRQIA+ literature has (thankfully) been booming in recent years, there is a severe lack of ace and aro representation. I truly believe this book is going to be an essential resource for queer youth, but also for older folx who have always felt "different" from their peers without knowing why.
An absolutely necessary read for everyone, to better understand others, but m0st importantly yourself.
I needed a book that could explain different aspects of what relationships mean to people wether allo or aspec. This was a fast and very informational read. Thank you for this e-arc.
I requested this ARC because a friend of mine is currently questioning their sexuality, and I hoped to learn something that could help me support them. I wasn’t disappointed and also discovered insights that were beneficial for myself, which was a pleasant surprise.
Accuracy: ★★★★☆
It's challenging to rate the accuracy of a book like this because it's inherently subjective. As someone who identifies as grey and demi, I found several points in the book to be quite useful for myself. The information felt well-researched and thoughtfully presented.
Perspective: ★★★★☆
The perspective of this book is very well-informed. Daigle-Orians approaches the topic with empathy and a deep understanding of ace and aro identities, which shines through in every chapter.
Relevance: ★★★★★
This book is incredibly relevant. As more people become comfortable with exploring and understanding their sexuality, resources like this become increasingly important. It’s a vital tool for both individuals and allies seeking to foster better relationships and understanding.
Engagement: ★★★★☆
This was quite an engaging read. Nonfiction doesn’t often hook me, but this book definitely did. The way it’s written keeps the reader interested and invested in the content, making it a compelling guide.
Readability: ★★★★☆
The readability is quite good. The book is well-organized, making the information easy to follow and digest. The language is clear and accessible, which enhances the overall reading experience.
Enjoyment: ★★★★☆
I quite enjoyed this book. It offers valuable insights and practical advice, making it a worthwhile read for anyone interested in ace and aro relationships.
‘The Ace and Aro Relationship Guide’ by Cody Daigle-Orians is a thoughtful and informative resource. Whether you’re exploring your own identity or seeking to support a friend, this book provides valuable insights and practical advice. It’s well-written, engaging, and highly relevant in today’s world.
"The Ace and Aro Relationship Guide" by Cody Daigle-Orians is a refreshing take on building satisfying relationships without the pressure of romance or sex. It's perfect for the aspec community and anyone looking to create meaningful connections. Filled with personal stories and practical advice, this book affirms that asexual and aromantic people are valid and offers valuable insights for readers of all backgrounds.
I love that we're getting more nonfiction books about aspec experiences! This is a great resource for people on the asexual and aromantic spectrums for how to handle the various relationships in their lives, but is also has a good amount of definitions and explanations of concepts to be useful for someone outside of those identities to take away some valuable information.
Everything is laid out in a way that has a good logical flow, and while I was already familiar with most of the concepts, it did not feel like the author was talking down to me in his explanations. After each topic there is a pause where the author invites the reader to stop, reflect on the information, and apply it to thier lives with examples. I really liked this detail, as it felt like a great way to get the reader out of just passively absorbing the information.
I have seen tags placing this book in the YA and Adult categories and I think it can work well in either, as while sex does come up, the advice does not go into "options on how to do it" and instead sits closer to "here is how you identify and set your boundaries around sex".
TLDR: great resource with a logical outline that will be useful to both teens and adults.
Thank you netgalley for the free ebook in exchange for a honest review.
I believe this is a perfect educational book for young teens, loved ones of ace/aro people, or anyone who wants to delve deeper into relationships and the role they can play in your life.
As a ace person that’s been out for years, I can’t say I personally learnt anything new but I really did appreciate the anncedots at the beginning of chapters and the inclusion of some red flags that you can find in peoples words and actions. Plus chapter 10 as a whole.
It wasn’t until after I finished this book and looked up the author did it click that he was one of the people I turned to when I was originally discovering my sexuality. Its kind of a fun full circle.
I personally love that this book is written by a Gay Ace AMAB. Sometimes as a AFAB I feel like it’s only fem people that are asexual because that’s how it’s usually portrayed in professional media - while I know it’s completely untrue - it can be a little frustrating at times due to the serious lack of diverse asexuality representation because it ultimately makes fem people feeling isolated in this experience. More AMAB rep like this is so important in breaking the stigma and overall creating a more inclusive community.
Despite the name, The Ace and Aro Relationship Guide by Cody Daigle-Orians (aka The Ace Dad) is not strictly a dating/sex guide. It's a guide to build your own satisfying relationships, without the societal expectations of romance and/or sex, as many guides in this genre tend to do, so this is a breath of fresh air. It's also a great reference book for the aspec community.
The book is divided into two parts. The first builds out your ten-part relationship tool kit, with each element described in detail. This part could be also used as a self help guide, even if you're not looking for a relationship, as each chapter has reflections and acting on the concepts presented in it. This is important to build your boundaries and increase your chances on a successful relationship.
The second part goes more into the stages of a relationship, as well as types of relationships, including sex and romance if you choose to have them. Even though I've been well read on the aspec community for a bit, I did end up learning a few new terms, and since this community is much newer than the other GSRM communities, this will be a great insight for those just exploring.
There's a good resource section where you can learn more at the end of the book. In fact, this book with all the information it dishes out, could be used as a reference guide as well as a relationship guide.
Each chapter begins with a story from Cody's life to tie into the themes and topics introduced and gives the book a personal touch and relatable. I love Cody's prose and the way everything is explained in a simple, yet powerful way. There's so many highlights on my kindle. Throughout the book, Cody affirms asexuals and/or aromatics that they are valid and not broken for the way they are.
This book is good for anyone 12 and over to hold at nearly every stage of life. While aspec people are the target audience and the main priority and are treated as valid (unlike many other relationship self help guides), I feel this could be used by those outside the community as well, especially if you're looking to build a primary relationship without romance and/or sex or simply learn about an aspect of aspec people's lives.
I greatly enjoyed reading this. While I did like the second part better then the first, overall this is a great tool for people to learn about the asexual and aromantic spectrum and how that translates to relationships. As someone who is asexual I appreciated this book for what it brings to the table. I also love the reflect and act section at the end of each chapter that helps you look inward.
After reading a few asexuality/aromanticism books over the past few years, I wasn’t sure how much new information this book would have to offer and I went into it with zero expectations. “The Ace and Aro Relationship Guide” expands on Cody Daigle-Orians previous book, “I am Ace”, and provides a discussion on what a relationship may look like with someone who identifies as aro/ace and advice for creating a healthy relationship. The book breaks down many societal norms around how people define and prioritize relationships. Much of the information provided in the book is true for ANY relationship, but it is a good reminder and the author continually reiterates that aro/ace people are valid and shouldn’t change who they are or compromise their identity for others. I think this is a good read for people who identify as aro/ace, but also those who want to be a better ally.
5/5 stars
Thank you to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.
This was definitely an interesting read, although I do have to admit I was a little disappointed. The first part of the book didn't wow me at all, and a lot of it only felt as empty platitudes that are being repeated constantly, and so it didn't really give me a lot of new information. The second part, however, was much more useful, and I appreciated how specific it was to being aspec--which I also felt like was lacking in the first part. That's a bit of a double-edged sword, though, because I liked that it felt almost universal, but as an aroace person, it felt way too abstract for me to take anything from it. The second part felt like what I expected this book to be. I especially appreciate the inclusion of aplatonic and nonamorous identities, which I didn't expect to see in a book about relationships, and it truly felt like the book was a comprehensive portrayal of a lot of aspec experiences. Overall, I don't think I'm taking away much from this book, and I didn't particularly learn anything new, but it is definitely good to have even things that may seem "obvious" clearly written down, and it can serve as a good guide for any relationship, which I suppose was the goal.