I had a great time with this—funny, filthy, and sneakily affecting, You’re Embarrassing Yourself is a whip-smart collection of stories circling sex, shame, longing, and the various humiliations we heap on ourselves in the name of connection. Akhavan—spiky, needy, oversharing, with a flair for self-sabotage—barrels through disastrous dates, bleak hook-ups, and awkward family encounters, all while trying to make sense of herself through a haze of horniness and self-loathing.

The tone is brittle but knowingly so, full of waspish asides and headlong confessions, like a drunk friend with impeccable timing and a bagful of bad decisions. There’s something deeply relatable in her mix of chaos and yearning, the moments of emotional exposure that sneak in between the sharp lines and terrible sex. Akhavan manages that rare trick of making the outrageous feel intimate, and the intimate feel hilariously doomed.

I was expecting to be entertained (I was), but didn’t expect to find it quite so sharp on the ache of trying to be understood while constantly undermining yourself. Bracing, clever, and with just enough bite to break the skin.

*"You're Embarrassing Yourself"* by Desiree Akhavan is a sharp, hilarious, and brutally honest collection of essays that explores the awkwardness of modern life, identity, and self-acceptance. With her signature wit and unapologetic humor, Akhavan reflects on personal experiences, missteps, and moments of sheer mortification, crafting a narrative that is both deeply relatable and laugh-out-loud funny. The book tackles themes of cultural identity, sexuality, and the pressure to conform, all while embracing the beauty of imperfection. *You're Embarrassing Yourself* is a refreshingly candid and insightful read, perfect for anyone who has ever cringed at their own existence but learned to own it anyway.

I like Desiree Akhavan’s work, and as a fellow filmmaker, I had to read this book.
I appreciate her having written this, and hope she writes more in the future.

I started properly belly-laughing from page one and was enormously excited to read the rest of the book. It was good - but it felt a little half-baked. As if the editor had gone, "This'll do!" when really some more time, stories, and opportunities for reflection would have given the book real heart. It's a shame because I really like Akhavan's work, both on the screen and even here on the page. Maybe we'll get the full version of this book someday, and once again, I'll be super excited to read it then.

Desiree Akhavan’s You’re Embarrassing Yourself is a deeply personal exploration of shame, identity, and the highs and lows of life. Akhavan’s voice is unmistakably sharp and witty, and her storytelling brims with both vulnerability and irreverence. From the awkwardness of growing up as the child of Iranian immigrants to the messy realities of artistic ambition, her anecdotes are both deeply specific and universally relatable.

"You're embarrassing yourself" feels like reading instead of watching several short films of Desiree's life, with the same vibe as Friends.
I enjoyed every single chapter, and even speaking about hard topics as being a forced immigrant, the fight against beauty standards or EDs, I didn't feel overwhelmed or as if I was reading something too far away for me. And I think that is the magic of this book, the fact that anyone can relate to what is telling (even if you're not an amazing director as Akhavan is).

Thank you NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read this book.

I have only recently seen Desiree’s work but I was enamoured by her story that I was excited to see her memoir available to read. I really enjoyed learning more about her past as well as her struggles with her culture and sexuality. Desiree is such a fun, yet mesmerising director and I hope she continues to embarrass herself in life and I will too.

Wonderful read a book full of emotions intimate hilarious so well written.This is a story of the struggle of growing up and finding yourself. #netgalley#4thestate

This book is so many things. It's confessional but also inspiring. It's very honest and reflective and also surreal in places. It's funny and beautiful and would very excellent for anyone thinking about getting into a creative industry.
It's a life story that includes what it was like to grow up queer, as a child of immigrants, and to be told you're not quite enough and also too much at the same time.

more of a 3.5! felt like this structurally was a little off ? was an interesting read and akhavan had a humorous tone to her writing. just felt as though sometimes tangents went on for a little too long that i realised i’d lost interest! if you’re interested in being a female filmmaker or are exploring your queer identity, i think this book could resonate in a lot of ways🫶🫶

Desiree Akhavan has written a deeply felt, revelatory memoir that's strongest when dealing with the experience of being the child of immigrants, 'like being born a widow,' where sorrow and loss is 'baked in.'

When a fortune teller informs her she will never have a home, it's almost a relief to her. Tall, with a large forehead, soft belly and size 11 (UK 9) feet, she struggles to fit in at a top New York prep school where the playground games are inspired by the film 'Clueless.'

However, by thirty-nine, she's won Sundance, directed two well-regarded films and is contemplating motherhood - a challenge as a gay woman who's had to resort to a complicated medical approach. There doesn't seem to be any news on that yet, but I'm hoping it works out for her - looking forward to reading the next chapter of her unusual and yet relatable life.

You're Embarrassing Yourself by Desiree Akhavan is a relatable memoir about feeling like you're failing and figuring out where and what you want life to be like.