How is the story about vampires yawn inducing? This was not a horror. This barely included vampires and their lore. If I wanted to read about toxic straight couples, I would read regular romance. The surrounding story of war didn’t feel complete. It felt like an afterthought to try to give the story some sort of depth or context. The sex felt meh and I could not find myself invested in any part of the relationship shown. Honestly, the story was vulgar for the sake of being vulgar. The vulgarity didn’t add to the story or to the character development in my opinion. At least it was short.

What We Do In The Shadows meets Only Lovers Left Alive. Short and fantastic read, loved the narrator and over-the-top musings, the exploration of relationship dynamics and was so curious what Rebekah will do in the end!

Read if you like sexy vampires, mythical intrigue, and a more than healthy dose of debauchery.

This was fast and fun and engaging. Vampire lovers Rebekah and Hugh are on a cruise and meet Heaven, who is…something else. Not human and not good, but very beguiling. Chaos ensues.

Rebekah was hilarious, and I loved seeing things from her point of view. The other characters (Hugh, Heaven) were also very interesting to read about, though compulsively dislikable.

The plot was short but compelling, and as believable as you can get regarding mythical beings on a queer cruise. The ending did not disappoint. This is such a quick read I don’t know how much I can say without giving it all away! I think a novella was the right length, and it was perfectly executed.

Thank you to Lindsay Merbaum, Creature Publishing, and NetGalley for the ARC!

I admit that I got into this book because of its title and cover; it was giving me all the vibes I was looking for.

In Vampires at Sea , Lindsay Merbaum invites us to board the cruise ship Zorya for fourteen nights on a ‘queer Black Sea cruise’. As we follow Hugh—“Hugh’s name is Hugo, but Rebekah (our narrator) decides at some point to call him Hugh, after Anaïs Nin’s better-known husband”—and his partner of hundreds of years, “thousands of dawns, a hundred thousand miseries, and tests and feuds.” They turn out to be a pair of vampires. If I am truly honest, I was expecting more from this novella.

The premise itself seemed very fun, and for the most part, Vampires at Sea was just that: fun with a bit of smut. A lot of it just didn’t feel convincing enough to me; for instance, Hugh is supposed to be this irresistibly attractive force, but I got nothing to show for it. Similarly, I couldn’t see what the attraction to Heaven was either.

Rebekah tells us that we are on this cruise because some recently forged memories are a little too fresh in their minds. These ‘forged memories’ relate to a bad incident when a lover was brought into their relationship, upsetting their harmonious living. Little do they know that the same is about to happen when they meet Heaven, as Hugh falls head over heels for Heaven, disrupting yet again the love that lasted thousands of dawns. The question is: will they/their relationship survive it all again?

Merbaum has a gift for writing the most hilarious sentences, i.e., “sputtering fireworks go off like a spectacular fart, crackling then falling away into the sea, as if to underline their own pointlessness.” The smut, however, could have been a bit sexier, but as Rebekah describes it, it feels like she has just seen it all, and it just bores her to tears.

I was expecting more horror, more queerness, and more psychological discussions on the complexities of polyamorous relationships, particularly after being given that nudge to Anaïs Nin (Nin is an author known for exploring intricate relationships). Disappointingly, what came after was more like “a whiff of blood and anorexia.” I mean, Rebekah does talk about everything that she was feeling—the good, the bad, and the ugly—and it could have been taken further if those discussions had been opened up beyond Rebekah’s clearly jealous, unreliable mind.

Rebekah and Hugh come across as shallow vampires at their last dawn, and the supporting characters are just too thin. The same goes for the narrative. I wish Merbaum could have taken more time developing the backstory/the world-building. For instance, we are told about ‘the war,’ which seems to have a huge impact on everyone, but it is just brushed aside and not really explained. Alas, it all ends too quickly.

Ultimately, Vampires at Sea fell short of being a fully realised exploration of its intriguing concepts. I feel it would have been much stronger if Merbaum could have brought herself to finish it as a fully fledged novel.

Thanks to NetGalley and Creature Publishing for the ARC.

For a book that's basically about sex... it was surprisingly not sexy. Maybe it didn't help that the orgies were described as boring or that I don't like smut when I'm not invested in a pairing. But the dynamics between the people and the story was quite fun. It kept the book interesting.

Thank you NetGalley and Creature Publishing for giving me access to an e-arc for review consideration. All opinions are my own.

Wickedly weird in the best way, Vampires at Sea is a chaotic cruise of lust, blood, and biting wit. Rebekah and Hugh are the messy, narcissistic immortals you’ll love to hate—and maybe even root for. Smutty, savage, and stylish, this novella is a horror-comedy fever dream you won’t forget.

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️
#VampiresAtSea #CreaturePublishing #NetGalley

Rebeka and Hugh, two Old Hollywood-style vampires, board a writhing sex-party cruise and find a third in the form of the world’s most annoying influencer. Their name is Heaven. They most definitely aren’t. They are, at best, an amalgamation of the Kardashians. Rebeka spends most of the time seething over the fact she suspects Hugh likes Heaven more than her. Maybe she isn’t cut out for polyamory? The writing: languidly poetic. The vibe: Gatsbyesque ennui. The cruise: I would ask for a refund. Hugh: Not as big a catch as everyone thinks he is.
good for fans of bad for fans of
Only Lovers Left Alive definable plot
If Tumblr ran a cruise
Menage-à-plusieurs
Stream-of-consciousness hedonism
Immortals wearing rubber wristbands

This book took me in so many directions I love getting to following along. The characters were interesting and outlandish in the best way they are insufferable and you are obsessed with them, the writing style is funny and witty. It was a short and sweet book that kept me entertained and amused. A specific audience will love this book and I am one of them hence why I requested it.

I loved the ending, it drew the story together in a satisfying way. Overall this story reminded me of WWDITS you can see how the author drew inspiration from the show, really fun and queer read.

Sadly, the best thing about this book was how short it was.

The premise, vampires on a fun, queer cruise in the Black Sea, sounded incredible but sadly this book was neither fun and engaging nor sexy and romantic as it desperately tried to be. I felt absolutely no emotions whatsoever, Rebekah’s focus on sex was more annoying than sexy and exciting, the rivalry (if you can call it that) with Heaven felt completely baseless and Hugh was just there.

Also, this book includes what has to be the most disappointing orgy in literature.

I would like to thank NetGalley and Amanda Manns for providing me with a free e-ARC of Vampires at Sea.

This short little book caught me off guard. I had expected it to be fun and silly, but I did not expect it would deal with so many emotions. The premise itself – queer vampires joining a cruise – seemed very fun. And for the most part Vampires at Sea was fun indeed.

The description, though, is quite misleading, as this book is definitely not a horror. It is a dark comedy with some (underwhelming) spice and the most boring orgy I have ever seen.

Our main characters, Rebekah and Hugh, are two shallow vampires who have been married for centuries. They decide to go on a cruise where they meet a non-binary creature called Heaven, who gets between them and causes chaos.

While I did appreciate Rebekah narrating the story, I do not think she is the most reliable narrator. I loved to see her talk about everything she was feeling – the good, the confusing and the bad. And I could not be happier about her choosing herself in the end. Her storytelling is, unfortunately, quite monotonous, and she does not seem extremely affected by what is going on between her and Hugh.

The other characters were a little stiff and underdeveloped. The same goes for the story; there were a few instances where I wished the author provided more background information. Dominantly – the war. It seems to have a big impact on the characters and the story itself, but it is only mentioned a couple of times and not in much detail.

I definitely think Vampires at Sea has a lot of potential; it is fun and entertaining, but it is too short.

though the book offers a mix of humor, romance, and a unique setting, i didn't really like it.
the concept is unconventional and the tone leans toward the playful, but dear god, i really didn’t find myself connecting with the writing or the characters. it didn’t quite work for me, though readers who enjoy offbeat, genre-blending stories might feel differently.

thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for providing this arc in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you to Creature Publishing via NetGalley for the opportunity to read the ARC!

While this was a fun novella to read after a hectic finals season, I wish it was more committed to either the emotional vampirism and/or the escapades that could happen in a queer cruise setting. Personally, I wish the cat and mouse element was more fleshed out. Overall, still a fun read if you want an interesting take on the vampire power system.

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC of this book!

I enjoyed this novella for the most part. I am a huge vampire nerd so I was very excited for this one. I loved the author’s writing style and there were some great lines, but I felt like it lacked a bit of depth. I never felt like I knew enough about the characters to properly connect with them, unfortunately. I did find the main three characters very interesting, especially Heaven, though I wish we got to know more about them all.

Rebekah and Hugh’s relationship was so interesting to me and I would have loved to see more of them as a couple/how their relationship worked before Heaven entered the picture. It was shocking to me how fast Rebekah just accepted Hugh wanting to end things after centuries together, it left me with a lot of questions about their relationship dynamic.

Rebekah is a fun narrator, the setting of a queer cruise was unique, there are some very memorable characters, but I wish there was more to sink my teeth into

I could see a future where I'd read this author again, but I did not truly enjoy this book. The MMC Hugh wins as the stalest, most boring MMC I have read all year. Rebekah wasn't much better. She only knows how to talk about sex and traveling forever, so there is no depth to her. The saving grace of the book was Heaven, the plot, and the writing style. Heaven was such an intriguing character, and they brought so many questions to this story. I also loved the plot of a cruise ship with a shapeshifter trying to steal souls, as well as the author's atmospheric writing style. However, those lead characters dragged this book down to abysmal levels.

I would give a brief summary of the book but I think it’s safe to say that because of the title it is pretty self explanatory.

The moment I read the title and the premise I was so excited to pick this up. The idea of queer vampires going on vacation on a queer cruise is such a fantastic concept and it’s not something that you read everyday.

This sadly fell a bit flat for me and I wish I couldn’t learnt more about the characters so that I could feel more captivated by them.

However, it was fast paced and queer so for that, I will always be here for it.

Thank you to NetGalley and Creature Publishing for providing me with this ARC. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

2-Star Review: “Vampires at Sea” by Lindsay Merbaum

I’m honestly not sure what I just read, but I’m pretty certain it wasn’t horror. Vampires at Sea bills itself as a “smutty, super-queer horror-comedy,” but I found it more disorienting than entertaining—and certainly not scary. If anything, it felt like a chaotic urban fantasy with LGBTQIA+ representation set against the surreal backdrop of a Mediterranean cruise, with vampires who barely resemble the traditional mythos and who certainly didn’t leave any bite marks on me, metaphorically speaking.

Vampires at Sea ♦ Lindsay Merbaum - A Review

Opinion
The story follows Rebekah and Hugh, two “emotional vampires” from San Francisco on a pleasure cruise. Right away, I struggled to connect with either of them. Rebekah is one of the most narcissistic narrators I’ve encountered in a long time, and not in the fun, self-aware way. Her constant self-focus—every scene and interaction filtered through her ego—quickly grew tiresome. Hugh, on the other hand, is her polar opposite, to the point of being practically inert. He has the emotional engagement of a sleeping pill. I found their dynamic dull, not intriguing. Then there’s Heaven, a non-binary influencer who was supposed to be alluring and perhaps even magical, but came off as more of a sketch than a fully realized character. Like the rest, they lacked depth and believability.

The writing style is where things really unravel. It reads more like a stream-of-consciousness travel journal than a novel, and the narration jumps in time and topic without warning. The result is a feeling that you’re stuck at a dinner table listening to someone’s disjointed vacation recap—only this one includes a heavy dose of exhibitionist sex and identity crisis. Some passages were genuinely well-written, with clever turns of phrase or flashes of emotional insight, but they were few and far between.

As for the “vampirism,” it remained confusing throughout. Do these characters feed on blood? Emotions? Trauma? Desire? The book flirts with ideas but never commits. It left me with the impression that the concept of “emotional vampires” was more aesthetic than functional.

Conclusion
Ultimately, I found myself more frustrated than intrigued. The book had potential—a queer cruise, supernatural themes, a backdrop of war—but squandered it on surface-level drama and an unreliable, self-absorbed narrator. If you’re looking for horror, or even something emotionally resonant, this might not be it. I’m doubtful I’ll pick up another title by this author.

I picked this off NetGalley because the title and cover, I wasn’t certain what I was getting into but it was an enjoyable poolside read on vacation!

While parts of the book are a bit crass I did love the variation of vampires we were getting. I felt I got to get to know Rebekah pretty well for such a short book but other parts felt a little rushed. Side characters storylines were quick, I wanted to learn more about a few of them. Also, I felt the war storyline was a bit of a wash.

Overall funny and enjoyable!

⭐️⭐️⭐️✨ (3.5/5)
“Memory is a lie anyway. Half of what you remember is just what you imagine.”

Honestly, more than I expected given the premise! I went in thinking it’d be a guilty pleasure kind of book, but it was surprisingly literary and had a lot of substance to it.

Vampires at Sea is very “What We Do in the Shadows” coded. Imagine Colin Robinson and Laszlo had a baby, and then that baby married Nadja, and now they’re on a boat. Also, they’re emotional vampires now. I was kicking my feet when I read the acknowledgements and saw the author was indeed a fan of the show.

For a book that promised vampires on a cruise ship doing the deed, there were a lot of emotional depths explored. It felt like multiple current events worked their way into the background of the novel. Sometimes, these manifested themselves in ways that surprised me. There was definitely a vibe of “the world is burning down but I don’t see how that concerns me,” which felt timely. I found myself intrigued by the characters, especially our narrator, Rebekah. You couldn’t predict how she’d end a sentence. She kept me enthralled, and the prose was delectable. Bonus points for the story being unashamedly queer.

That being said, I felt like this novel was trying to “say something,” and I was not picking up what it was putting down. Maybe it’s my subpar literary analysis skills, or maybe there wasn’t some deeper meaning I was supposed to grasp. Regardless, this was a fun romp of a read. It wasn’t exactly what I expected, but it was quite entertaining. I will definitely look out for this author’s next book, which she mentioned she was wrestling with while writing this story. As someone whose writing project currently has them in a headlock, I felt seen. :)

Fans of this book should also check out Thirst by Marina Yuszczuk. It’s a tad bit more serious, but it’s another lady vampire tale told by an intriguing, somewhat unreliable narrator.

Netgalley proved me with a free e-arc in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts are my own.

Firstly a big thank you to Netgalley and Lindsay Merbaum for the opportunity to read this ARC.

Rebekah and Hugh are immortal emotional vampires who have been together for centuries. They each have their own tastes when it comes to feeding, so they can't deny the opportunity to join a queer friendly cruise where they can feast upon the desires and sorrows of the fellow passengers.

Their relationship hits an iceberg when they meet Heaven; a social media influencer who reels Hugh in. Rebekah is not as enchanted by Heaven and can't decide whether she wants to be seen by them or destroy them for threatening the relationship with Hugh.

Rebekah continues down a path of self-discovery and is left to ponder an unimaginable future. Perhaps there's no more room on the door for their relationship? (Sorry, had to throw in another Titanic reference)

Told from Rebekah's perspective, Vampires at Sea had me cackling from the get go, written as if it's her diary where she navigates the ocean of smut, desires, narcissism and betrayal.

My only real criticism of this was I wanted more!

This novel was not what I thought it was going to be and it definitely is for a specific type of audience.

Although it was only 168 pages I found it hard to follow and I felt like the characters didn’t have their own progress through the novel and they didn’t ground what was happening.

This novel has a lot of sex and orgys happening but that’s what the novel is mainly based on , a internal couple Hugh and Rebekah join an “orgy” cruise in hopes to find their next feeds and “fun time” partners.

Haven ends up rocking their world in a way they didn’t expect to happen.

I wanted to like it but, I gave it one star because this type of novel just wasn’t for me. As much as I tried to get into it and understand it,I just wasn’t the audience this novel was looking for.