This was…. something. I thought the premise sounded fun and interesting: a super-queer horror-comedy novella about vampires? Should be a good time!

There might be a super niche audience that will love this novella. Unfortunately, I am not part of that audience. For it being only 84 pages, I felt like it took a while to actually get into the story and the comedy aspect of the “horror-comedy” did not translate for me. I found the writing style hard to follow at times and could not understand the main character's decisions half the time.

I think it’s still worth giving a shot if it sounds interesting to you since it’s only 84 pages. And I can at least say that the cover is absolutely stunning.

Thank you NetGalley and Creature Publishing for providing this eARC for an honest review.

I am so glad I got to read this, it is a very cute book. It was well worth the read. I can’t wait to see what she has next

This story had a really interesting premise, and I enjoyed the writing style and humour a lot. I will say that I found it to be fluffy in parts, and I feel as if the ending was rushed, however it was a good time overall.

It’s a fun, supernatural story that you could bring on holiday. You could easily read it in a day by the pool 😊

I loved the premise of this, but the writing style was really not for me. The sentence structure was all wrong and the language used erratic. It had so much potential but it's a no from me

I was so hoping to love this book because the premise really was interesting. Unfortunately, all that waited for me was disappointment. The characters were narcissistic and sex-crazed to a degree to which I genuinely don't think would strike anyone as sexy or alluring. The entire story was bland and basic with little actual plot. The only part of this book I enjoyed was the writing style (which I have to praise the author for: it was really well written), but when there's terrible characters, surface-level interactions, and a lack of plot...writing style can't really save you.

I don't think there's anyone I know that would enjoy this book. I really hope that the author decides to write a different book with less asshole characters and confusing story because I would definitely give it a chance.

Man, I really fucking hated the characters.

I think this was supposed to be comedic, but it wasn't funny. It was horny, but not arousing. The characters were unique, but unloveable. Reading things from the main character's POV was grating. I think this was intentional, but still wasn't a lot of fun. I love vampires and was pretty excited for the premise (queer Black Sea sex cruise with emotion-vampires, wow!), but was unsatisfied by the execution. I can feel the inspiration from Anne Rice & WWDITS dripping all over this, but it was so unfocused and confusing that it didn't quite come together, I think.

I received this ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Kind of ate this up I can't lie, such a nice surprise. Something about it reminded me of Veronica Roth's "When Among Crows".

this is a book that has a very specific audience that will enjoy it, and i most definitely did. this was a wild ride, started slow but really built itself up. the characters were insufferable in a way that made you completely obsessed, the writing was different and captivating. thank you to net galley for the arc!

Fast and fun read. Rebekah had me snorting with laughter much it the time. There’s a very What We Do In the Shadows mixed with Lestat de Lioncourt vibe going on and I think many fans of either would enjoy this story. Thanks Netgalley for the arc!

this was such an interesting read! this book was crazy and weird in the best way possible. I was a little confused in a few parts but I did enjoy reading it. I didn't rhink it was boring.

the vampires in the book were written very differently than what you normally read about vampires. It was nice that Rebekah chose herself in the end. Heaven definitely doesn't seem to be gone forever as well.


there were a few things in the book that i didn't feel like were answered. there were things that felt like conversations didnt didnt have an ending. but, overall I really enjoyed reading this.

Lindsay Merbaum’s Vampires at Sea is a bloody, lusty, and deliriously fun romp—think What We Do in the Shadows meets The White Lotus, with a heaping dose of queer chaos. This smutty horror-comedy sinks its fangs into emotional vampirism (both literal and figurative) with razor-sharp wit, unapologetic indulgence, and a surprising undercurrent of heart.

Rebekah and Hugh—immortal, glamorous, and terminally self-absorbed—are the kind of vampires you’d swipe right on in a cursed dating app. Fleeing the drudgery of modern San Francisco (and, you know, global wars), they embark on a Black Sea cruise, ready to seduce, snack on passengers’ emotional turmoil, and maybe join an orgy or two. But their hedonistic paradise is upended when Hugh becomes obsessed with Heaven, a mesmerizing non-binary influencer who might be more than human. As Rebekah spirals into jealousy and existential crisis, the novel shifts from a campy feast of narcissism to a surprisingly poignant exploration of identity, memory, and what it means to love someone for centuries.

Merbaum’s writing is a delight—wickedly funny, dripping with decadent descriptions, and unafraid to lean into the absurd. The cruise ship setting is perfect for this story, a floating microcosm of privilege and desire where the vampires’ antics feel both outrageous and weirdly relatable. The supporting cast (a mix of clueless normies and fellow monsters) adds layers of satire, skewering influencer culture, performative wellness, and the hollow allure of luxury.

While the book delivers on its promise of “unbridled narcissism” and steamy queer encounters, it’s Rebekah’s emotional arc that lingers. Her journey—through jealousy, forgotten histories, and the terrifying vulnerability of change—gives the story unexpected depth. It’s a testament to Merbaum’s skill that a novel this raunchy and ridiculous can also make you pause and think about the weight of eternity.

3.5 Stars

A fun, angsty erotica with vampires stuck in a love triangle, who are stuck on an orgy filled cruise ship.

Honestly this novella was definitely fun, the sex scenes were really fun, however I really wish we learned more about the world. I know this book was all vibes and while that was fun and still held my attention I just feel like if we had learned more about the world, we would have been able to have more attraction to the characters were meant to care about.

Our characters are blunt and selfish but also loving and adventurous and felt really human in the way they acted and expressed their emotions.

The ending felt a little glossed over, however for a novella I finished it and I was satisfied!

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for the Arc.

I think, thanks in part to this book, that feminist queer horror is becoming one of my favourite subgenres.

Vampires at Sea is both hilarious and unsettling, horny and horrible. I both hated and loved Rebekah and her scenes with Heaven were like watching a car crash--fascinating, visceral and disturbing whilst being titillating as well.

I have a feeling I'll still be thinking of this book for years, it gets its claws into you that deep. Fantastic read.

I love the way that the age of the characters is shown. They behave like "normal" people, but there are references to older time periods and certain things they do just feels out of date. Great stuff

So I think it was a good premise, but the execution not so much. I (maybe) knew what the author wanted to say, but it's lost because of chaotic writing; maybe it would be better longer, but I don’t think so. My problem is that the plot was a mess, the characters are messes, so there is basically nothing to catch your attention. Like is said at the beginning, the premise was so good. Vampires but make them feed on emotions? Great. Unicorn (queer term, not a real unicorn) who is a villain but make them a shapeshifter? Also great, but it all falls out in the end. The ending was rushed, you blink and thats it, done. And even though it's a short, quick read, the culmination of events is underwhelming to be true, and at first I didn’t get it. What was the point? We didn’t learn about characters enough to care about what’s happening to them and where they are at the end. Their relationships are surface-level at best and if I'm reading a story about vampires who have been together for hundreds of years it's not what I should be getting out of it, even if they are narcissists. And it was supposed to be smutty, spoiler it was not. It was bland, dry and anticlimactic.

The Run-Down: Vampires at Sea by Lindsay Merbaum has a fun supernatural premise and setting, but its attempt at satire unfortunately comes across as meanspirited and homophobic rather than clever.


Review:
The title of Vampires at Sea by Lindsay Merbaum is accurate; it follows two married immortal vampires who decide to embark on a queer art cruise. These vampires in this story do not drink blood; each vampire feeds off of a particular human emotion. Rebekah is a vampire who feasts on people’s desire for her, and she finds a cornucopia of carnal desire on the orgy-friendly queer cruise. Jealousy, however, threatens to ruin her vacation when her husband Hugo falls under the spell of a shapeshifting demon named Heaven.

Vampires at Sea is intended to be a satire of certain rich queer people and how they value rainbow capitalism, sexual gratification, and inane vanity over everything else. Our protagonist and her husband fit right into this crowd, as their supernatural status affords them the ability to get pretty much whatever they want, whenever they want and prey on other people’s emotions. It is interesting to see an immortal, seemingly untouchable being such as Rebekah wrongfooted as she navigates the all-too-human quagmire of amorous jealousy. Additionally, the queer cruise ship setting and the wild hedonism of the main characters are fairly entertaining in a surface-level way, but the Merbaum’s satirical commentary isn’t funny enough to be effective. Without the humor, the jabs at rich queer people simply feel meanspirited and bitter. Although the author is queer and the novella is pitched as a blend of queer camp/smut/horror, there is something about it that feels rather homophobic and transphobic. Perhaps it is because our vampiric protagonists Rebekah and Hugo appear to have little connection with queerness as an identity. They have a polyamorous relationship and participate in orgies with people of various genders, but this queerness a byproduct of their monstrous, immortal desires rather than their lingering connection to humanity. In other words, they’re not monstrous because they are queer (and therefore othered, mocked, shunned), but rather queer because they are monstrous (the implication being that they’re hot vampires—of course they’re going to use their powers to fuck a bunch of hot people).The human LGBTQ+ people on the cruise ship, meanwhile, are painted as objects of ridicule in Merbaum’s clumsy satire. The most uncomfortable element of all this is that the story’s antagonist is a nonbinary demon named Heaven who uses their shapeshifting powers to deceive and seduce others. Anyone familiar with the patterns of transphobia will recognize the potential problem with that character choice. Whereas the foibles of the human queer people are depicted with tolerant disdain, and the equally predatory tendencies of the vampires treated with some degree of levity and sympathy, Heaven is portrayed as genuinely predatory—their brand of queer narcissism is the only one treated by the narrative as a serious threat. On the whole, the story does not feel like a valuable critique of queer culture, but rather an expression of unresolved bitterness and discomfort with queerness itself.


Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This was okay, I understand its meant to be a short book, but I feel like so there were so many plot holes that got rushed to be solved / uncovered towards the end and the pacing was super off. I thought the idea of what creature Heaven was unique and I did enjoy some of the smuttier scenes, but the book was just super rushed and at times the writing was eh for me.
Thank you to Netgalley and Creature Publishing for an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

I have never felt so conflicted while reading something. I thoroughly enjoyed it, it was beautifully written and had me hooked from the first page, but I also felt almost listless while reading. I think this is ultimately the effect of living in the back of our MC Rebekah's brain, as she swings between mania and catatonia over the degradation of the relationship between herself and her immortal companion Hugh. I struggle to explain what about this made me like it but the truth is it simply captivated me. The scathing critiques of modern queer culture, the lush descriptions of Rebekah's desires, the unexplained but ever present war. I won't forget about this novella for a long time.

I really really didn't like this.
I was going to DNF but then I thought it was so brief and maybe reaching the end might give me some answers but no. Just no.
It's a no for the vampire mythology and how they're portrayed; it's a no for the tone because it was supposed to be fun —according to the description— but there was nothing funny or playful; it's a no for the orgies... yes I'm saying it! I've read my fair share of smut in my days and it's not high literature nor is it always well written but it is usually entertaining. This? this was error 404 not found. It's continuously hinted they're doing stuff but we never get to experience the stuff, there is nothing erotic or romantic or playful. It's just "and she goes into the dancefloor and has sex with a dozen people." .... OKAY?!
And to worsen things I had the impression of an epic story in a couple of scenes which completely crashes with the playful vampire novella theme this is supposed to follow.

On the positive side: the idea was original and the character of Heaven was interesting and honestly trying to understand what they were was the only thing that got me to stay.

Good idea, bad execution (in my opinion)

❁ Thank you to Netgalley, Lindsay Merbaum and Creature Publishing for the opportunity to read the ARC of this in exchange of my honest opinion ❁

Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for the advanced copy!

That was not what I expected after reading the synopsis of this book, which is such a shame because I was so excited for it. Unfortunately, it wasn't horror and it wasn't funny.

At first it was quirky, but it got very boring very fast. I know it's a novella, but it felt unfinished and under explored. The story itself is confusing at times and many scenes felt like they were not finished before we moved on to another part of it, making it hard to follow those characters.

In the end, it was rather underwhelming as a whole, with my expectations too high, and my assumptions on what the story was supposed to be... off.