This is such an important book.

Valerie is part of a cult. Christian fundamentalism is, without any doubt, a cult. Growing up in this cult, she is forced to have her father and brother view all of her clothes to ensure they do not have "lustful" thoughts about her clothing. When she meets Riley, Valerie is forced to examine her same sex attraction. As the two teens grow closer, Valerie cannot help but wish to escape the clutches of the cult.

This is a great example of why having a variety of books available to ALL kids is important. Reading promotes empathy and gives the reader a window into other lives, which ended up being vital for Valerie.

This is too old for my students, but I recommend it for high school and public libraries. In many ways, I wish it had a different cover, not because I don't like this one but because I want the type of kids who need it to be able to access it.

Thank you to Quirk Books and Net Galley for the ARC. All opinions are my own.

This book really surprised me. Natalie did a really good job of tackling the heavy topics this book deals with (religious cults, homophobia, self discovery, etc.) I do think now more than ever that books like this are really needed. Such a great read!

✨ Sapphic YA Romance
✨ First Person, Single POV
✨ 0.5/5 Spice Level
✨ Religious Cult/Trauma
✨ Coming of Age
✨ Stand Alone
✨ Rep: bisexual MC, Asian-American MC

> content warnings after review

Being a re-release, this is actually not the first time I’ve gotten to this book. I previously had listened to the audiobook (narrated by the author, Natalie Naudus), and I absolutely loved it. This time around, I read a digital copy, and I loved it just as much. I am a huge fan of Natalie’s work as a narrator, so I was extremely excited to find a book of her own was being published. (Also, I absolutely love the new cover!)

Pray the Gay Away feels like a very personal book. At times it is difficult to read, both with the fact the main character is in a religious cult as well as the disconnect she feels with her culture (considering everyone is very, very white). It was easy to cheer on Valerie throughout the book with each little micro-protest she made. She is a strong character despite being in a situation that continually tries to make her small, weak, and meek.

I’m honestly a bit at a loss for words other than I really hope this book finds all the people who really need it, and I am thankful to Natalie for writing it. This book means a lot to me as I am sure it will mean a lot to many others.

(beware potential spoilers below)

Content Warnings
(may not be all inclusive)
religious trauma, cult, religion-based homeschooling, homophobia, transphobia, child ab*se

Thank you so much to netgalley and publishers for this ARC!

What a book. As someone with a very, very similar experience, it felt so validating and beautiful to read a story that directly reflects my own. To show that there is healing for people like me, to show that we get to have our own happiness and our own stories, is something very very special. If I had had this book as a teen, maybe my journey would've been easier and I would've felt less alone. This is a very important, very impactful read.

Gay the Pray Away broke me!!!! I read it over a weekend and genuinely couldn’t stop. The story just crawled into my chest, cracked it open, and then stitched it back together. I laughed, I cried, and I felt seen in ways I didn’t expect.

Valerie Danners is in a cult. She just doesn’t know it yet. Her world revolves around a fundamentalist Christian homeschooling group, where obedience is everything, especially to God, to men, and to a life she never actually chose. But when she stumbles upon a queer romance novel at the library (bless librarians forever), something shifts. For the first time, Valerie starts to question the beliefs that have been drilled into her.

Then comes Riley. She’s new in town, she’s rebellious in a quiet, confident way, and she’s everything Valerie isn’t allowed to be. As they bond, Valerie starts to fall , hard. Their connection is instant and electric, and soon they’re passing notes, stealing kisses behind the church, and daring to imagine a life where love isn’t a sin. But they both know the risks. If anyone finds out, the consequences could shatter everything. Valerie is left with an impossible choice: stay with a family she fears will never truly accept her, or run away with the girl she loves and finally start writing her own story.

What hit me the hardest were the small, tender moments. The quiet conversations, shared secrets, lying in the grass and pretending they weren’t being watched by an entire belief system. It was beautiful and painful all at once, because every bit of joy was shadowed by fear. That tension, that push and pull between love and survival was so real and raw.

And as someone who’s still closeted and living in a very religious Hindu household, this story hit hard. Like, sit-on-the-floor-and-stare-at-the-wall-after-each-chapter kind of hard. Valerie’s inner struggle—the guilt, the longing, the need to be free but not knowing how, that’s not just fiction for a lot of us. That’s real life.

But what I loved most is that this book doesn’t just dwell in pain. It’s about defiance. About hope. About taking back the narrative you were forced into and writing something new. It’s a reminder that queerness isn’t something to fix or hide it’s something to celebrate.

If you’ve ever felt like you didn’t belong, if you’ve ever had to hide who you are to survive, Gay the Pray Away is a lifeline. A love letter. A battle cry. And honestly, I wish I’d had it sooner.

A much needed fictional account of religious oppression. Tinged with romance and hopefulness, this will find its readers.

Natalie Naudus ripped out my heart and put it back together again in this story that shows that love wins and that it is possible to unlearn what you have been taught.

At seventeen, most of us don't know who we are just yet. Valerie Danners knows who she is because the Institute tells her that her purpose is to finish homeschooling, get married, have as many babies as possible, and praise the Jesus. After stealing a book from a library (don't worry the librarian helped her get away with it), Valeria starts questioning the Institute and her won sexuality. That questioning turns into knowing once Riley enters the picture. Wearing pants and having short hair *GASP* Riley helps Valerie realize she might be in a cult. But under the scrutiny of her parents and the Institute Valeria has to choose if she wants to stay in the only world she's ever known.

Gay the Pray Away not only has queer teenagers trying to learn about themselves and the world, but we also get to see inside a (mostly white) religious cult. Valerie's friend Hannah says that everyone has same sex attraction and thoughts while planning wedding, showing that everyone has been brainwashed, not just Valerie. While this book was an extremely easy read, I really just wanted to hold Valerie until she felt like she was loved and accepted for who she is.

Will update as more posts get shared.

x♾️
Valerie is being raised in a cult but she hasn't realized it yet. Until she meets Riley and reads a queer book that she stole from the library. Her parents are very strict and religious. They control every part of her life, school and church. Reading books from the library is her only escape. The religion reminded me of the Shiny People documentary and I feel so bad for the children who have to grow up in such an abusive situation. it breaks my heart.

I really appreciated it and loved this book. 🌈🏳️‍🌈 I felt so much joy when Valerie started to deconstruct her upbringing and started thinking for herself. Leaving a religion that is your whole life and family is so hard. My hubby and I left our religion almost twenty years ago. This book had me crying tears of happiness and sadness.

I read this book in one day! To say it is an "easy read" would be a lie, due to the emotional depth of the story. However, I couldn't take my eyes of the pages and felt like I was really with Valerie and Rylie, navigating this strange and oppressive world of religion, and trying to escape. The pace is excellent. While it's driven by the rush to see the girls reach freedom and acceptance, there are perfect moments of reflection and inner dialogue along the way. Each beat is intentional and beautifully builds the characters, particularly Valerie. Also, it's just so happy to see a queer story that doesn't end in tragedy. I highly recommend this.

Whew! This one really brought back a lot of unpleasant memories for me! While the cult that these characters find themselves in is much more extreme and stifling than my religious upbringing, I could easily relate to the resentment and anger that Valerie went through. Like Val, I also put tracts in Halloween candy bags, was preached some very misogynistic things, and was raised on problematic Elsie Dinsmore books. One thing I especially loved about this book was the emphasis on the importance of representation in stories. It’s so important for queer people to be able to find themselves in books!

That being said, there were a handful of things I really didn’t like about this book. Firstly, the romance between Valerie and Riley felt very instalovey and never really seemed to deepen as the story went on. I also felt that Valerie didn’t have much of an internal struggle when leaving her cult. At least for me when leaving the religion of my childhood, I definitely went through a lot of guilt and confusion that Val didn’t really seem to experience. She did a complete 180 after reading one queer book and that didn’t really seem realistic to me. I also thought that the characters, especially the parents, felt really 2D. The ending felt too rushed and convenient, and Val’s mom in particular acted completely out of character.

However, I also think this book was unlike anything that I’ve read before and is an important addition to LGBTQIA+ storytelling. It really captured the pain and trauma that is inflicted on queer people within religious circles. I know this one will feel really personal and will resound with a lot of people.

Thank you to NetGalley and Quirk Books for this ARC!
This book hit me in every ounce of my feels. If you grew up in a religious household this book may be a bit trigger. It focuses on a young girl named Valerie who essentially grew up in a cult and is coming to terms with her sexuality. You can feel how much pain she is in and how isolated she is from the world. Thankfully she has allies on her side who protect her as best as she can. For me this really hit me hard. When I was younger I struggled with my sexuality while growing up in a deeply religious household. I am fortunate enough to have a mom, like Valerie, who cared enough about me to let me be me. This book is definitely a good read and I highly recommend it!

Valerie Danners is a seventeen-year-old Taiwanese American girl trying to live up to the godly and virtuous expectations of her parents. She identifies too much with the bisexual protagonist of a novel, just as the rebellious Riley moves to town. The two connect, and Valerie is falling in love. If she embraces her queerness, her family would never accept her.

One of the conservative groups that people might recognize is sometimes known as the Quiverfull movement, since women are expected to have many children to "keep the quiver full" of arrows (children) for the father's fight for God. Women in this movement are not allowed to go to college or have a job, or even wear pants. All education is Bible based or from tracts specially prepared for them; Catholics are too liberal and won't be saved by their definition. Remember the Duggar family from TV? These conservatives often decry any sexuality that isn't strictly heterosexual, and this is the place where Valerie grew up. She has some flares of rebellion, questioning her best friend, meeting her father's gaze, and stealing a book from the library with a bisexual protagonist. It's exactly this reason why education is such a fraught topic for the deeply conservative, because they teach obedience and hellfire, not critical thinking skills.

Valerie is a teenager questioning herself and her place in the world from the start. Riley is proof positive that other isn't evil, and there are those raised in this isolated community who escape it and label its tenets as abuse. As Valerie learns about the qualities of cults, that there are other ways of living a fulfilling life, and that her family and friends see her a the problem, she rebels further. We feel her dismay and how torn she is to realize that she will never fit into the mold her parents want. It's a painful place to be, and many people will recognize what it feels like. My heart went out to her, and I was glad she had a network of people able and willing to help. Even small gestures of kindness can mean so much, especially for someone so isolated. The numbers at the back of the book are helpful for information and a place to start learning or reaching out if needed.

Valerie's whole life has revolved around the Lord and the bible obsessed cult called the Institute. She spends her days learning to be obedient to her parents, prepare for a life as a perfect wife and mother, and above all else serve the Lord. Her foundation feels solid until one day she comes across a queer book at the library and she begins questioning everything she's ever known to be true. When Riley, a beautiful rebellious girl who was kicked out of private school for kissing a girl, joins the institute, Valeries life is turned completely upside down. With a growing love for Riley, Valerie begins to explore her beliefs and values.

I was extremely excited to read this book, and I honestly really enjoyed most of it. You can feel how personal this story is to the author from the very start and I think a lot of queer people will relate to Valerie's struggle. I think stories like this one are so necessary and important, I just don't know if this one moved me as much as I had expected it to. Valerie is so quick to renounce the beliefs of the institute with so little information from the outside world. I would expect there to be a lot of internal conflict when you start exploring worldviews other than the one you've been fed your entire life. Valerie, while going through something terribly difficult, felt a little too surface level for me.

While this book didn't hit every mark for me, I am glad to read a story about someone accepting who they truly are and seeking comfort in found family. I know this isn't every persons story, but it is one that may give hope to those who are in the same position as Valerie.

As a queer person who was raised in a conservative religious household, I felt incredibly connected to this book. So many quotes are highlighted in my copy because of how relatable this story was. Not only is this story well-written, it's timely and an important voice that lifts the facade to expose the horrors of being queer in a family that doesn't accept you and is willing to shun you for not aligning with their own personal preferneces and beliefs. Naudus shows the reality, pain, and eventual hope for freedom attached to growing up like this in beatifully written, emotional, page-turning prose.

Valerie and her family follow strict rules, including dress codes--especially for girls--homeschooling, and more. She only spends time with her family and those from her church. She chafes at some of the rules, especially when she meets Riley. Riley is everything Valerie has been taught to reject. Soon Valerie falls for Riley, around the time she realizes that she and her parents are in a cult.

Valerie starts to question everything in her life, including what matters more--her family's expectations for her or what she wants to do with her life? Can she be herself and keep her family?

This book reminded me of numerous cults that I've heard of over the years, especially the ones that demean and dehumanize women, girls, LGBTQ+ people, and anyone who doesn't fit into the cult's rigid rules. It opened my eyes to some of the practices that people don't question while they're in the cult, but that appear really creepy to me. It was a fascinating read, and it's a book I will definitely read again.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book!

Thanks to NetGalley and Quirk Books for an advanced reader's copy in exchange for my honest review.

If I'm being honest, my first impression of this book when I saw the title was, oh no this is going to be cheesy as hell. And then I actually started reading this book. This book hit me like a gut punch. I didn't grow up in a religious cult like the author and our main character, but I did grow up religious, which changed when I realized my queerness in high school. The church I grew up in was never outwardly homophobic, in fact I can remember sermons on loving your neighbor, no matter who they are, but the church also never publicly stood up for the queer community. It's a type of homophobia that I think most don't notice right away, if ever. I also was shunned in my youth group for sharing my depression and anxiety with people who I thought were my friends, and accosted by the youth directors that I was, and I quote, "doing this for attention." So, like many people who grew up in a church and then came out, I have deep religious trauma, although mine is also connected to the fact that my depression was essentially not allowed to exist in that space. However, I have gone through a lot of therapy and over the years changed my beliefs, and, being 27, I thought my religious trauma wouldn't affect me while reading this.

I was wrong. This book made me so sad, even after I finished it. I knew what it was leading up to and I felt so much dread at having to read whatever kind of fallout happened that I ended up downloading the book to my iPad so I could read it after I left my computer. I needed to know the ending.

I am so glad I decided to read this and look past the cheesy title. It was absolutely worth it and probably in my top five favorite books of the last year. It is definitely not perfect, there are moments where I could tell the writing was that of a debut author, and there were absolutely parts that were cheesy, but I still loved it. This is one of the first books I've read it a long time where I felt like I had to write down certain quotes because of how hard they hit me in the feels. I'll included those quotes below, but remember this is an ARC, and therefore may not be the final wording.

Overall, this book is good. This book shows love, and courage, and humor in the face of potentially life changing decisions, and should be read with caution for those with religious trauma, but it should definitely be read.

5/5 stars

Quotes (from advanced reader's copy, may not be final wording):

""Hey," someone says behind me. I turn, and there is Riley - looking stunning, I notice absolutely clinically."

"I'm high on spite, amazed that the things I've heard reviled from the pulpit have become my guidebook to learning about the world."

"I can control so little of what happens around me, sometimes a bruise I ask for feels better than one inflicted without my consent." (side note: this is so real, and I felt it in my soul.)

In my opinion, it is a really hopefull book. So YES it is a little easy to escape, to learn about feminism, racism, etc., to fall in love and build a new life. However, I don't think it's the point. The author is clear, she wants to imagine a world where a girl like her could escape and discover herself and be pround to be queer when she is still a teenager.
Even if, we know how the story will end (in a happy ending) the tension is still eavy. Each scene with her parents, or Hannah maid me shudder and uncomfortable. I could not let go of the book, I really wanted to see our protagonist happy.
It also is beautiful to see how queer story can help, how the joy is very important.

2.25 Stars

While this is no doubt a book that covers some important topics, there were a few aspects that hindered my enjoyment.

Gay the Pray Away is centred around Valerie, a teenage girl raised in a religious cult whose only real refuge is reading. One day, she comes across a book with the word "bisexual" in it - a word she has never seen before - and from there, she starts to realise there's so much more to the world than she has been taught. Coinciding with this is a new arrival to the church, Riley, who Valerie realises she has feelings for. This book follows Valerie as she begins a journey of unlearning the oppressive rules she has abided by for most of her life, while learning more about herself and who she loves.

While this was a quick read, my main issue with this book is how quickly everything seemed to happen. Within the first 50%, the romance is already pretty much fully developed, and even though the characters themselves acknowledge that it is a fast-burn, it still meant that I didn't really care about them. It also meant that not much happened in the second half of the book (until about the 80% point), which made it more difficult to get through.

I also thought that the way the characters acted was a little off sometimes. For someone who had been sheltered in such a way for most of their life, Val seemed to adapt remarkably quick. Also, while I was happy to see that open communication was a key part of Val and Riley's relationship, sometimes it would read like "therapy speech", which took me out of the story a bit.

Although I was bored at times, I still can see how the themes are important and would likely hit close to home for a lot of people.

Gay the Pray Away is a heartfelt and impactful YA debut that delves into the complexities of growing up queer in a conservative, religious environment. The story follows Valerie Danners, a seventeen-year-old who begins to question her upbringing after discovering a queer romance novel at the library. This discovery sets her on a path of self-exploration and challenges the beliefs instilled in her by her fundamentalist Christian homeschooling group. ​

Valerie's journey is both painful and empowering, and one I related to very much. As she navigates her feelings and the restrictive world she inhabits, she forms a connection with Riley, a new girl who is confident, kind, and shares Valerie's multiracial background. Their budding relationship offers moments of joy and solace amidst the tension and fear of being discovered. ​

Naudus doesn't shy away from depicting the emotional and psychological toll of religious extremism. The narrative addresses themes of homophobia, emotional abuse, and the struggle for self-acceptance. Yet, amidst the heavy themes, there's a thread of hope and resilience that keeps the reader engaged and rooting for Valerie's liberation. ​

The writing is sincere and accessible, making it easy to connect with Valerie. Readers can learn a lot from Valerie's story. Gay the Pray Away is a book I will be sharing with everyone I know.

I loved this book. It was so beautiful and so sad at the same time.

The only problem I had with this was that the relationship moved far too fast. One moment Valerie is realizing that being gay won’t send you to Hell & then the next she’s showering with the girl she has a crush on.

Other than that it is a perfect book that I will recommend again and again.