When I saw that this was written by Natalie Naudus, one of my FAVE audiobook narrators, I knew I had to read it. So thank you to NetGalley and Quirk Books for the ARC! Light spoilers ahead…

I also, will read anything recommended by Casey McQuiston, because I’m obsessed with everything she writes. So naturally if she has high praise for a title, it’s a knockout and this was no exception. I smiled, I cried, I had flashbacks of my religious Christian upbringing.

While not nearly as drastic as Val’s cult experiences, I grew up in a conservative, southern congregation and could relate to several of the concepts in the book. As a librarian, I CHEERED when that sweet sweater-vest man helped Val sneak that book out of the library. This is a book that I will be proud to share with my high school kiddos!

The whole time I was reading that I was thinking that it lacked...nuance, I guess? Suddenly Valerie realized she was in a cult and didn't struggle with that fact at all. Suddenly she realized she was gay and was fine with that. Suddenly she was with Riley and they were in love! It was all just...too straightforward.

Natalie Naudus ripped out my heart and put it back together again in this story that shows that love wins and that it is possible to unlearn what you have been taught.

At seventeen, most of us don't know who we are just yet. Valerie Danners knows who she is because the Institute tells her that her purpose is to finish homeschooling, get married, have as many babies as possible, and praise the Jesus. After stealing a book from a library (don't worry the librarian helped her get away with it), Valeria starts questioning the Institute and her won sexuality. That questioning turns into knowing once Riley enters the picture. Wearing pants and having short hair *GASP* Riley helps Valerie realize she might be in a cult. But under the scrutiny of her parents and the Institute Valeria has to choose if she wants to stay in the only world she's ever known.

Gay the Pray Away not only has queer teenagers trying to learn about themselves and the world, but we also get to see inside a (mostly white) religious cult. Valerie's friend Hannah says that everyone has same sex attraction and thoughts while planning wedding, showing that everyone has been brainwashed, not just Valerie. While this book was an extremely easy read, I really just wanted to hold Valerie until she felt like she was loved and accepted for who she is.

Gay the Pray Away by Natalie Naudus is an YA book about a 17 year old girl named Valerie who has grown up in a high-control conservative Christian religion. Even though she tries to follow all of her family’s and church’s strict rules, she faces constant criticism. She’s been quietly questioning her religious upbringing, but after developing a connection with another teen girl named Riley, she realizes that she wants to take steps to leave. Over the course of the book, Valerie and Riley try to keep their relationship a secret and make plans to leave the insular community behind once they turn 18.

I really enjoyed this book and, despite the incredibly frustrating challenges Valerie faces, found it incredibly hopeful. As a Youth Librarian and as someone who spent a lot of time at my local library growing up, I loved that the library was a safe space for the main character. Given current the political landscape, I hope that my library can be a place where queer teens feel comfortable being themselves.

3.5 stars.

While this was a best-case scenario type of story (I wanted something with a lot more conflict, both internal and external), I still enjoyed reading it.

The romance was really cute, and I was rooting for Val and Riley the entire time. I really liked that their relationship was shown positively, and that they were both accepting and understanding of each other's situations. Riley was such a great foil to Val, and I loved how she brought Val out of her shell.

I loved that this story sent a very hopeful message, and I hope that it brings comfort to younger readers in similar situations.

I won't lie though, I was expecting a more emotional deep dive, with a lot more of the nitty gritty and the ugly side of things when it comes to growing up in a close-minded community. This felt like it was for the younger YA set, since it only hinted at the darker issues within religious cults. Any time the book mentioned something extreme, like child abuse or sexual misconduct, it felt really blunted.

And I really hate to say this, but a lot of it read like it was written from an outsider's perspective. I honestly wasn't sure why or how Val was so easily accepting of her queer identity. I was expecting more guilt and shame, and not to mention, a lot more self-introspection on her feelings, thoughts, and actions.

And while it was cool that Val did a lot of research at the library on topics like queerness and the patriarchy, it didn't feel realistic that she just accepted what she read without questioning it.

I'm not sure if this makes sense, but Val as a character felt really detached from her surroundings most of the time. Like she was living in a religious cult, but her personal values were already so different that I wasn't even sure how she was faking it, or how she didn't really do a deep dive into her old values vs. her new values. I wanted a character I could relate to, since I also had a similar journey when I was young. But this wasn't really it.

Despite my complaints, this was still a cute romance novel, and I enjoyed its hopeful theme.

Thank you to Quirk Books and NetGalley for this arc.

This story felt very realistic without making it too depressing. Of course the subject matter is inherently sad, but the author does a very good job of keeping it hopeful while being truthful to the story. The lovestory also felt very natural and I could really feel with protagonist while she gets to know herself.

Valerie doesn't know it yet, but she's in a cult. The catalyst is a queer book at the public that she knows her mom will never let her check out. So, she steals it instead and devours it. One day, Riley shows up at her church. Valerie has to figure out if she just thinks Riley is cool or if there is something more.

This is a really important story for a lot of teens. It was a quick read but packed in a lot of story in its pages. People that are familiar with evangelical christianity and its leaders will see some familiar (and slightly changed) names.

This book was a delight! Valerie’s family is very conservative and religious, and we watch as she becomes disillusioned with the church and begins to find her own sense of self-worth and independence. Natalie Naudus depicts the church’s harmful rhetoric in a way that is suitable for teen readers and emphasizes the power of books and finding joy- especially queer joy- despite other people’s beliefs.

This was really beautiful and sweet. I liked the characters and their romance, but i think what really sticks out to me the most are the way the author handles the heavy topics. I'm not a christian, but i thought it was really beautiful how the author managed to condemn fundamentalism but also highlight the good parts of Christianity. It felt like a very loving book, a book that I would love to get into the hands of Christian teenagers, to show them that there is so much love they could give and receive if they avoid the cult that is fundamentalism.
I think as far as YA contemporary goes, this is what it's all about- a book that can be enjoyed by both teens and adults but has a special loving message for younger readers.
Truly this just felt like a lovely story about finding your place in the world and making yourself at home.

I received an ARC of this title from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own and were not affected by the free copy.

Valerie is in a cult, she just doesn't know it yet. But when she finds a queer book in the library, and meets "rebel" Riley, she starts to see the cracks in the way she's been forced to think.

This book broke me a little bit. It's one thing to hear about these cults, or even listen to survivors stories, but reading Valerie's though physically hurt me. Watching her break through the walls forced upon her made me tear up. I enjoyed seeing how quickly Valerie threw herself into researching things outside of her family's beliefs, though I do question how accurate that is to the people living it.

There are a few things in this book that I didn't love. I wish there had been more depth in the relationship between Valerie and Riley, it felt very "their eyes locked across a crowded room and they knew that they were the one." However, I also admit that I don't know what it's like being raised like this, so a fast emotional connection might be the only way to survive. At times, the writing also felt very stilted, but it also felt intentional, adding to the very rigid way of thinking Valerie has been forced into. It was not a deal-breaker for me, I finished this entire book in just a few hours.

Overall, I really did like this book, and think it was incredibly important view into a world too many people are stuck in. I will be keeping an eye on this author and reading her future books (and probably searching out some of the books she has narrated!)

“To everyone who was served hatred and told it was love—we deserve better.” 💔
This book broke and healed me. It’s honest, tender, and incredibly necessary. I’ve struggled with people using religion to harm others, and this story shows the beauty of queer love, faith, and personal truth.
The God I believe in—the one I love—has no room for hate. Only love. 💛
Favorite quote:
🕊️ “If God is more loving than I’ve been taught, then I think God would be okay with me needing some time to untangle this… I think God would want me to feel a shred of happiness.”
🙏 Forever grateful for librarians and libraries, their quiet bravery matters. And shoutout to the amazing resources at the back of the book. I wish I had copies to stock my Little Free Library. This book is a gift to LGBTQ+ youth, to anyone deconstructing, and to those who believe love should never come with conditions.

This is such an important book.

Valerie is part of a cult. Christian fundamentalism is, without any doubt, a cult. Growing up in this cult, she is forced to have her father and brother view all of her clothes to ensure they do not have "lustful" thoughts about her clothing. When she meets Riley, Valerie is forced to examine her same sex attraction. As the two teens grow closer, Valerie cannot help but wish to escape the clutches of the cult.

This is a great example of why having a variety of books available to ALL kids is important. Reading promotes empathy and gives the reader a window into other lives, which ended up being vital for Valerie.

This is too old for my students, but I recommend it for high school and public libraries. In many ways, I wish it had a different cover, not because I don't like this one but because I want the type of kids who need it to be able to access it.

Thank you to Quirk Books and Net Galley for the ARC. All opinions are my own.

This book really surprised me. Natalie did a really good job of tackling the heavy topics this book deals with (religious cults, homophobia, self discovery, etc.) I do think now more than ever that books like this are really needed. Such a great read!

✨ Sapphic YA Romance
✨ First Person, Single POV
✨ 0.5/5 Spice Level
✨ Religious Cult/Trauma
✨ Coming of Age
✨ Stand Alone
✨ Rep: bisexual MC, Asian-American MC

> content warnings after review

Being a re-release, this is actually not the first time I’ve gotten to this book. I previously had listened to the audiobook (narrated by the author, Natalie Naudus), and I absolutely loved it. This time around, I read a digital copy, and I loved it just as much. I am a huge fan of Natalie’s work as a narrator, so I was extremely excited to find a book of her own was being published. (Also, I absolutely love the new cover!)

Pray the Gay Away feels like a very personal book. At times it is difficult to read, both with the fact the main character is in a religious cult as well as the disconnect she feels with her culture (considering everyone is very, very white). It was easy to cheer on Valerie throughout the book with each little micro-protest she made. She is a strong character despite being in a situation that continually tries to make her small, weak, and meek.

I’m honestly a bit at a loss for words other than I really hope this book finds all the people who really need it, and I am thankful to Natalie for writing it. This book means a lot to me as I am sure it will mean a lot to many others.

(beware potential spoilers below)

Content Warnings
(may not be all inclusive)
religious trauma, cult, religion-based homeschooling, homophobia, transphobia, child ab*se

Thank you so much to netgalley and publishers for this ARC!

What a book. As someone with a very, very similar experience, it felt so validating and beautiful to read a story that directly reflects my own. To show that there is healing for people like me, to show that we get to have our own happiness and our own stories, is something very very special. If I had had this book as a teen, maybe my journey would've been easier and I would've felt less alone. This is a very important, very impactful read.

Gay the Pray Away broke me!!!! I read it over a weekend and genuinely couldn’t stop. The story just crawled into my chest, cracked it open, and then stitched it back together. I laughed, I cried, and I felt seen in ways I didn’t expect.

Valerie Danners is in a cult. She just doesn’t know it yet. Her world revolves around a fundamentalist Christian homeschooling group, where obedience is everything, especially to God, to men, and to a life she never actually chose. But when she stumbles upon a queer romance novel at the library (bless librarians forever), something shifts. For the first time, Valerie starts to question the beliefs that have been drilled into her.

Then comes Riley. She’s new in town, she’s rebellious in a quiet, confident way, and she’s everything Valerie isn’t allowed to be. As they bond, Valerie starts to fall , hard. Their connection is instant and electric, and soon they’re passing notes, stealing kisses behind the church, and daring to imagine a life where love isn’t a sin. But they both know the risks. If anyone finds out, the consequences could shatter everything. Valerie is left with an impossible choice: stay with a family she fears will never truly accept her, or run away with the girl she loves and finally start writing her own story.

What hit me the hardest were the small, tender moments. The quiet conversations, shared secrets, lying in the grass and pretending they weren’t being watched by an entire belief system. It was beautiful and painful all at once, because every bit of joy was shadowed by fear. That tension, that push and pull between love and survival was so real and raw.

And as someone who’s still closeted and living in a very religious Hindu household, this story hit hard. Like, sit-on-the-floor-and-stare-at-the-wall-after-each-chapter kind of hard. Valerie’s inner struggle—the guilt, the longing, the need to be free but not knowing how, that’s not just fiction for a lot of us. That’s real life.

But what I loved most is that this book doesn’t just dwell in pain. It’s about defiance. About hope. About taking back the narrative you were forced into and writing something new. It’s a reminder that queerness isn’t something to fix or hide it’s something to celebrate.

If you’ve ever felt like you didn’t belong, if you’ve ever had to hide who you are to survive, Gay the Pray Away is a lifeline. A love letter. A battle cry. And honestly, I wish I’d had it sooner.

A much needed fictional account of religious oppression. Tinged with romance and hopefulness, this will find its readers.

x♾️
Valerie is being raised in a cult but she hasn't realized it yet. Until she meets Riley and reads a queer book that she stole from the library. Her parents are very strict and religious. They control every part of her life, school and church. Reading books from the library is her only escape. The religion reminded me of the Shiny People documentary and I feel so bad for the children who have to grow up in such an abusive situation. it breaks my heart.

I really appreciated it and loved this book. 🌈🏳️‍🌈 I felt so much joy when Valerie started to deconstruct her upbringing and started thinking for herself. Leaving a religion that is your whole life and family is so hard. My hubby and I left our religion almost twenty years ago. This book had me crying tears of happiness and sadness.

Whew! This one really brought back a lot of unpleasant memories for me! While the cult that these characters find themselves in is much more extreme and stifling than my religious upbringing, I could easily relate to the resentment and anger that Valerie went through. Like Val, I also put tracts in Halloween candy bags, was preached some very misogynistic things, and was raised on problematic Elsie Dinsmore books. One thing I especially loved about this book was the emphasis on the importance of representation in stories. It’s so important for queer people to be able to find themselves in books!

That being said, there were a handful of things I really didn’t like about this book. Firstly, the romance between Valerie and Riley felt very instalovey and never really seemed to deepen as the story went on. I also felt that Valerie didn’t have much of an internal struggle when leaving her cult. At least for me when leaving the religion of my childhood, I definitely went through a lot of guilt and confusion that Val didn’t really seem to experience. She did a complete 180 after reading one queer book and that didn’t really seem realistic to me. I also thought that the characters, especially the parents, felt really 2D. The ending felt too rushed and convenient, and Val’s mom in particular acted completely out of character.

However, I also think this book was unlike anything that I’ve read before and is an important addition to LGBTQIA+ storytelling. It really captured the pain and trauma that is inflicted on queer people within religious circles. I know this one will feel really personal and will resound with a lot of people.

Thank you to NetGalley and Quirk Books for this ARC!
This book hit me in every ounce of my feels. If you grew up in a religious household this book may be a bit trigger. It focuses on a young girl named Valerie who essentially grew up in a cult and is coming to terms with her sexuality. You can feel how much pain she is in and how isolated she is from the world. Thankfully she has allies on her side who protect her as best as she can. For me this really hit me hard. When I was younger I struggled with my sexuality while growing up in a deeply religious household. I am fortunate enough to have a mom, like Valerie, who cared enough about me to let me be me. This book is definitely a good read and I highly recommend it!