WOW. Incredibly impactful and thought-provoking. I wouldn’t necessarily classify this as YA because of its very mature themes and extensive trigger warnings (TW: sexual assault, drug abuse, self-harm, suicide), but it’s a very strong coming of age piece. Jenna Adams evokes deeply visceral emotions for the reader with this story. I was very angry, frustrated, and confused throughout for the main characters and the ending felt very relieving for me. I thoroughly enjoyed the character development of the FMC!

I liked the book and I think it’s a good book, but I don’t think it’s for me. Personally, I thought that it was too long and ut covered a lot of serious topics, but that is all me because there should be books like this out there that do talk about serious topics and i just think it wasn’t for me! Great story and great writing! 3 stars! <3

Spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5hWOOBxYuUdirvsso5Vc9G?si=J6kVW_8TRbaVc8UX4IZkMw&pi=I59cIbMeQFusi

3.25⭐️

This was a very difficult read. The topics were heavy and the story itself was much longer than I was anticipating. Even though this is catagorized as a YA coming of age novel, a few of the topics presented were uncertain sexual consent, inappropriate sexual conduct with a minor, self harm, suicidal ideations, and really unpacking a whole heap of trauma.

This story follows Brooke and Matt from when they are 14 and 18, respectively, until their mid to late twenties. What made this difficult is that I saw a lot of my own younger self in Brooke. Her worth was tied to those around her, what the boy she fancies thinks of her, how everyone around her may react to her actions. Through this uncertainty and lack of self-confidence, she makes many mistakes and poor decisions in a time where she really does not know any better. The growth she goes through is not linear and she constantly is making decisions that, as a reader, make you viscerally upset, but also understanding of how she ends up in certain situations.

Brooke's growth throughout her teenage and young adult years is astounding. It is inspiring to see her overcome these circumstances that she did not deserve, accept mistakes she has made, and learn to finally make peace with the past and move forward living for herself.

Overall, I recommend cautiously, as this can be quite triggering for certain individuals, but it is a profoundly moving read that just happens to be about 150 pages too long.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review!

4 ⭐️

I got the arc!!

Wow wow wow. This book absolutely surprised me. I really was not completely sure about how this would skew considering how young our female character is in the story. I thoroughly enjoyed how we followed two different perspectives and I think it was such an important aspect to this story.

Following Brooke and Matt’s stories was so up and down and while it was so enjoyable; it really was so saddening at times. It really felt like my heart was constantly being ripped out of my chest. I think this is a case of right person, wrong time. I found it so important and touching to speak about the themes of sexual assault and consent while simultaneously doing so in a non-punitive way. As much as Matt has messed up and done things, we are able to see his heart and how he has grown throughout the book. I think the ending was so beautifully wrapped up and I can’t wait to read more from this author.

Thank you netgalley for the opportunity to read this book.

This book was a rollercoaster of emotions. I struggled with this one of how slow paced it felt. I definitely don’t feel like this is YA due to the mental health factor. It was good developmental book on watching Brooks development over the years.

This is Me Trying was an emotional rollercoaster! Jenna Adams has written this book in a carefully respectful way.

The story is written across three parts which are stages of the main characters lives.
Brooke who is 14 in the beginning and Matt who is 18. They are paired together as the lead parts in Romeo and Juliet in their local drama group.

I found parts of this book difficult to read and quite hard hitting as I related to Brooke in more ways than one.
As it is written in a duel perspective, we get insight into what Matt feels and thinks as well as Brooke.

Jenna did not shy away from hard topics such as sexual consent/inappropriate age gap/ depression/self harm/coercive behaviour and substance abuse. She writes about them in a way that doesn’t glorify them but also explains them.

I see this book as an almost “What I would tell my younger self not to do”. I would like to think this book would be beneficial to teens and YA’s to educate them how relationships can impact their path in life.
Even though this book is about young teens/YA’s I do think that you can learn something from it no matter your age.

I have rated this 3.5 stars as I felt the end of the story felt a little rushed and I personally didn’t feel like there was satisfactory conclusion. Although, I guess that is how real life can be!

Phew, where to start with This is Me Trying. What an emotional rollercoaster.
The story itself is in three parts, all centred around Matt and Brooke, who have a sexual relationship when they are 18 and 14, respectively, and how they grow as people after their initial encounter.
The book has heavy themes of guilt, sexual consent, co-dependancy, and mental health. The author did not shy away from hard topics, never glossed over or glorified the age gap. It was an uncomfortable read at times, but it had to be. I think Adams did a good job of keeping the story engaging while shining a spotlight on the issues.
I'm not really sure what to class this book as, as far away genres go. I believe it's being marketed to the general population as a YA, coming of age story. I feel like it's more NA than YA, but I don't work in marketing.

I also want to point out that this is the second time this author has released this book, first under the title 'Can I Stray'. This is Me Trying is a much better title, in my opinion, but I'm unsure of the reason for the rebrand.

This book was daring.

It starts on a very uncomfortable subject that many tend to be on the fence about, to begin with—sexual consent.
And Jenna RUNS with it. She doesn't hold back.

It's a dual POV book between the two main charas, Brooke and Matt. It's a coming-of-age story that follows Brooke from adolescence to adulthood.
And it's about a girl who was cast as the lead Juliet in Romeo and Juliet when she was 14. A DREAM RIGHT?
Except for the fact that Romeo turned 18 and throughout production, you fell in love.

This story was visceral.
It felt like I was stepping into the raw conflict of my youth. BUT OH MY GOD- I could have just fought Brooke when she met Matt for the second time. Rekindled things then just LEFT. girl. what are you doing?

This book had me hooked, shaking my fist, screaming into the void.
I think it's one every teen should read.
There are triggers and mature themes, but to me- it was worth every warning, It was worth the risk,

This is about Brooke and Matt who are in their drama group and both get cast for the lead roles but little did they know how close they would get whilst practising. But things change and neither one is ready for the consequences. They both go and lead their separate lives and when years later they are reunited, there are so many questions left unanswered but they are back where they belong or are they? The story explores sensitive topics about mental health and sexual consent. It is quite a hard hitting story about two young people not really knowing what is right and wrong and then to see the impact it has on both of them. It is a YA novel but I think it has tackled the sensitive topics very well. I feel as though I need to read a light hearted book now.

3.5⭐️
I have really enjoyed this book. The characters, Brooke and Matt are well-crafted, multidimensional people that I loved to read about. The author was very careful about how they approached certain sensitive subjects throughout the story, and I really appreciated that.
Thr action flowed naturally, so each time I picked up the book I had a hard time putting it down.
The only reason I'm giving it 3.5 stars is because i felt the ending was a bit too abrupt. Other than that, I loved this story!

Oh boy. This book was a hard one for me because it wasn’t ever like I didn’t want to finish it but more that I was afraid of it ending bc I knew it wasn’t going to be a good one. As you read & get invested in the characters you just know that it’s not going to play out like you want but you are invested & have to see it through.

This is a dual pov book centered around Brooke and Matt over the span of about 9 years. They get cast in Romeo and Juliet as the leading roles when she is 14 & throughout the play rehearsals Matt turns 18. The line between their characters and themselves begins to bleed & they enter into a weird relationship and Brooke’s insecurities are brought out by Matt demanding it’s kept a secret and she isn’t sure why. Most of this was honestly really hard to read but you keep going because you want to see things get better for her and aren’t sure why Matt has a pov for half the book when he is trash & you’re waiting for redemption.

As they grow up and are in this on & off “relationship” that is super toxic, Brooke just picks up & leaves everyone who loves her without a word. A good chunk of the book is then about her life “starting over” after abandoning her loving family. Matt waits around for her as she enters into eventually a relationship with such a nice guy oh my gosh, I knew I was going to be mad on his behalf by the end. You see as she goes back for closure at the very end but as the reader I was left with very little. This is one that’s going to take a minute to process and move on from the frustration. Thanks NetGalley & Unbound Publishing for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

Meet Matt and Brooke.
We meet them at 18 and 14, after being cast as Romeo and Juliet in their theatre club's show. They become quick friends, and slowly but surely, develop a relationship. The book is in 3 parts, age 14, 18 and 23 for Brooke. We see Matt and Brooke change and grow, fight their demons and issues.

This book absolutely captivated me. As a teenager (and adult) that also has problems with co-dependent relationships, this was like reading a book about my childhood. Adams does a fantastic job of showing the power imbalance during the formative years, how as teenagers we live life thinking we know best, we know ourselves and know what we want.

This is me trying doesn't glorify depression in the way some books might, but shows you the nitty gritty, dirty, horrible and intrusive thoughts someone lives with daily. Brooke's life and her struggles could be anyone's. I love reading their lives through the years and seeing them both struggle to grow into adults and deal with their problems, as it turns out, Brooke isn't the only one who's depressed and struggles with co-dependency.

My only gripe with this is that I didn't get the ending *I* would have wanted, but that's just me with a rosy outlook on life. This is me trying ends on a note of positivity, even if it's not what the reader wanted, it's real, it's true and honest. I will be recommending this book to all of my friends, as even though it's marked as YA, I feel like it deals with a lot of issues teenagers and Young adults deal with in today's world.

This is easily a six stars read.

A coming-of-age novel that touches your soul and makes you question yourself about your teenage years, your choices and your path in life.

The writing reflects perfectly the characters’ age: in the first act, we can see through the pages how young and naive Brooke is and how immature is Matt for his age, manipulating her without even knowing how selfish he is: he’s afraid of someone finding out because he knows it’s wrong but he’s too childish to speak with Brooke for fear of losing what he thinks he needs and wants; Brooke is too young to even have the instruments to hold a serious conversation, although she seems older than she is. It’s obvious they both got issues that they try to mend with what they think is each other’s love: Matt has low self esteem and the need to always perform perfectly, while Brooke thinks of herself as defective and worthless well before meeting him, finding solace in his attentions.

In the second act, the codependency is so well descripted, as well as behaviors related to depression like the intrusive thoughts and the drugs, that I wanted to crawl out of my skin and had to interrupt the reading to reorganise my thoughts.
I could hardly breath when I read about Brooke’s relationship with Pete and how hard was for her to see how bad he was for and with her; how damaging the whole situation was for her mental health; how thin the thread was that was keeping her tied to life.

During the third act, we see how Matt hasn’t really grown up and how he doesn’t know who he is and what he wants, showing Brooke wasn’t the only one that had a codependency or depression problem: he puts all the blame on Brooke, but in the end he understands he had idealised the few months they were together as teens and relied on that image of himself because it was the only time in his life where he felt in control of his story.

The whole book is a tortuous journey through life and healing and I’d make my class read it to understand important matters like consent, toxic relationship and depression.

I can't thank NetGalley and the publisher enough for making it possible for me to find this author and this book, which I will carry in my heart for a long time.

Wow, this was a very well-written and incredibly heart wrenching and healing book for me to read. This was a tough one for me to get through, as it had a lot of elements of my own past I needed to face as I read it. Again, this was very healing, but a lot of potential triggers: suicide, self-harm, depression, consent, age-gap relationship.

The author presented and worked through each of these topics in a very healing way, but unfortunately brings you face to face with a lot of very difficult content; so if you’re not ready/able to, it may not be the read for you and is certainly only suitable for older readers.

The plot, the writing, the characters were all very well done, and if you’re looking for a guy-wrenching, healing book about coming of age, then this is one to add to your TBR. This hit differently for me as I could relate to a lot of the things that the FMC, Brooke experienced and went through, and all I have to say is that this was just very healing for me.

*I received this book as an ARC from Unbound, but the opinions are my own.

-I did try to add the review link at the bottom, but I posted the review to my Goodreads, and will be uploading a video about it to my TikTok and Instagram.

This Is Me Trying by Jenna Adams portrays a young woman's path to independence as she grapples with the aftermath of her traumatic past. The novel is written in dual POV, tracking Brooke's life from her teenage years into her early twenties, and Matt's from his teens into his late twenties.

Brooke's evident personal growth in therapy and her efforts to process her history are compelling, but my personal views make it challenging to fully connect with her character. The author paints Matt as a predator, yet his mental state at 17/18 remains unexplored, which leaves his character ensnared in nostalgia and regret with no growth.

The pivotal moment when Brooke confronts Matt about their relationship comes across as rushed, diminishing the impact one would expect from a narrative centered on healing and accountability. A short, abrupt conclusion follows, leaving lingering questions and failing to provide the closure both characters deserve.

3.5 stars

Thank you to Netaglley and the publisher for providing me with an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.
Wow wow wow where do i even start with this one. This story was heartbreaking and important at the same time. Following 14 year old Brooke and 18 year old Matt we see the development of a toxic and dangerous “relationship” from the perspective of the groomer and the victim. This book can be hard to read at times because both perspectives are a bit skewed. Brooke’s because of her youth and inexperience and Matt because he doesn’t see his actions as wrong. I was afraid this book would try to be to romance centered and i’m glad i was proven wrong. This book is not a romance in the slightest and instead leans more towards something like My Dark Vanessa. I think it was interesting that Matt wasn’t portrayed as some big bag villain but instead a subtly manipulative character. I highly recommend this book especially to young adults because seeing this relationship and the effect it had on Brooke’s life is so important and can help better decisions to be made.

Adams' written prose notably begins as rather simplistic. This, however, is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it heightens the air of naivety and innocence of the main protagonists when in their youth. Brooke Taylor, at 14 years old, knows little of romantic relationships beyond kisses, cuddles and butterflies. Matt Williams, barely 18, has an innate fear of growing up and crossing the border into adulthood - he clings onto his youth, his childhood and fears the inevitable changes ahead of him. By all accounts, Matt should know better than to pursue a child 4 years his junior. However, his conflicted emotions about moving away to Uni and embracing adulthood may explain his ill-choices, albeit do not excuse or justify them.

Nevertheless, Adams sensitively explores an undeniably difficult subject matter. Her choice to present the story in a dual perspective adds a layer of depth that would have otherwise alienated Matt's character, were Brooke to be the sole narrator. There are two sides to every story, after all, and Adams tells this one extremely well.

Adams also leans heavily into the theatre element of the narrative - choosing to transform chapters into "scenes". Not only that, but the structure flits between the first person account of our protagonists and a third person retelling of events in a script-like format in the first act. These little details enhance the story tenfold, giving it a multifaceted and fluid feel.

As time passes within the story, Adams' authorial rhetoric develops alongside the characters, making the reader feel as though they are present - observing the protagonists grow as the story progresses. The book is split into three acts: the first, concerning Brooke and Matt's relationship as younger teenagers; the second, four years after Act 1 ends; the third, another four years later after Act 2 ends. By the end of the book, Brooke is 23 and Matt, 26.

This Is Me Trying never denies the atrocities that occur between Brooke and Matt, ensuring the reader is constantly aware that what happened between them in their early teens was wrong. However, Adams ensures the humanity of the characters is also never eclipsed. In doing so, she reminds the reader that these characters were inherently flawed people who undoubtedly made mistakes, just as everyone does.

Make no mistake, this story is not of romance - but of growing up, accepting the past and taking accountability for your past actions in order to journey forward into the future. Adams has created a profound, impactful and deeply moving story in the form of her debut novel. I look forward to seeing what she does in the future.

This book left me feeling raw, emotional and needing therapy. This was equally heartbreaking and hopeful. Mostly heartbreaking though. The experience the main character was going through, her journey to healing and coming to terms with her trauma reminded me of the extent I went to do the same. I saw so much of myself in her, it felt really scary. At times I was mad at her but I understood.

While it is YA, It feels more like New Adult/Adult. This is a really good book that I'll find myself thinking about a lot.

This was an emotional rollercoaster at times, but a great read. Thought provoking and raw at times.

FMC and MMC have sex when they’re 14 and 18 respectively. And the rest of the book deals with everything that comes afterwards - depression, self harm, suicidal thoughts, and eventually running away. It felt very vivid and real - you could tell me this was based on someone IRL and I’d believe you.

It feels heavy at times - when FMC finds out that what happened was statutory rape (although I do feel like you find out before 14 that the age of consent is 16?), and her reaction to that.

I liked the healing arc FMC went through, I was really rooting for her to come out the other side and be at peace.

Thanks Netgalley for the ARC

4⭐️

[a copy of this book was provided to me by the publisher from netgalley. thank you!]

a unique concept which was well-executed. dealt with some very serious themes for YA & the author approached them with a good level of sensitivity.