This Monster of Mine is a tale of vengeance and resilience, threaded with the right amount of slow-burning tension and I can't love it more! I wouldn't say this is your typical romantasy, which is why I enjoyed it so much.

Returning to a city that once shattered her, Sarai is relentless in her pursuit of her culprit, made difficult by only flashes of memories. She conceals her appearance carefully but ghosts of her past remain. When she's assigned to work with our cold, calculating adjudicator main male character, a game of cat and mouse begins. A delicate dance of power and deception, where trust is a dangerous luxury.

Kadara, our enigmatic and ruthless wielder of justice, is impenetrable as a locked door. We see him through Sarai's eyes, where every moment of hesitation becomes another puzzle piece. Beyond this central mystery, the story delivers a rich web of complex friendships, driven by their own ambitions.

But let's talk about the tension - because that's what kept me hooked. Sarai and Kadra barely need words, they every interaction is a collision of will and barely there restraint. The overarching action and political intrigue waves in themes of corruption, unchecked ambition and the devastating clash between faith and power. The way magic is entangled with greed creates a prophetic tone - justice is rarely as simple as it seems.

I couldn't put this book down and can't wait for more.

I kind of went into this one based off of the vibes of the cover and being told it was a romantasy, but the romance ended up being a subplot for most of the story. I don't normally mind this but the plot itself needs to have more progression or be more fast paced when this happens. Unfortunately the plot felt dragged out, especially in the middle so it didn't hit quite as hard for me as I expected this one would.

That being said, our FMC Sarai, I really liked. She was determined throughout and I love a story of feminine rage and revenge. I really enjoyed the prosecutor parts of the story and Sarai being able to detect lies and how that was shown to us on the page. By the end I loved Kadra but wish we'd had a dual POV for him or have him in the story more as sometimes I thought to myself "Where's Kadra?" and doubting as to whether this was actually a romantasy.

I'm not someone who liked worlds based on real life history but I didn't feel like the 'Ancient Rome inspired' setting too overbearing but the politics and who rules what and who felt a little confusing. Everyone has powers but only some are Tetrarch's? Are Tetrarch's gods or just judges and what is the difference? I'm still a little lost now honestly.

The last 30% really hooked me and made me bump my rating up from 3 stars to a 3.75 as it was the only section that I couldn't put down, I read it whilst cooking dinner and ended up cutting my finger. I recommend NOT reading whilst preparing food but I really wanted to know how it would end!

I also recommended that the publisher puts the glossary at the start of the book in the final version as I didn't know it was at the back until I had finished and the Latin words within the dialogue threw me off, especially when on occasions this wasn't explained what they were saying and it detached me from the story a little bit.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher Hodder for providing me with the e-arc of this one.

Thank you Net Galley

This was perfection!! I have already pre ordered to book!

The magic was very unique and I loved it! the world building and pacing was spot on.

Definitely recommend to ant fantasy romance lovers!

Shalini Abeysekara’s This Monster of Mine transports us to a brutal, ancient Rome-inspired fantasy world that is as ruthless as it is captivating. With a story full of political intrigue, vengeance, and an electrifying romance, this novel keeps you hooked from the very first page.
At its heart is Sarai, a woman with unique magical abilities, including the power to detect lies. Four years ago, she was brutally attacked, mutilated, and thrown from a tower in the city of Edessa. She barely survived and has little memory of what happened—but she is determined to return and seek justice. When the opportunity arises to go back as a Petitor (a prosecutor serving the ruling Tetrarchs), she seizes it. She is assigned to Tetrarch Kadra, a man infamous for his cruelty and bloodshed. Suspiciously, all signs point to him as her attacker. As the two are forced to work together, their dynamic becomes increasingly dangerous—and undeniably magnetic.
Abeysekara crafts a world that draws heavily from ancient Rome, with a well-developed political and judicial system that keeps the reader constantly engaged. The novel weaves dark themes of justice, power abuse, and systemic violence into its plot, making it both thought-provoking and immersive. The eerie mystery surrounding the suicides of Petitor candidates adds a chilling, almost thriller-like element to the story.
Sarai is an incredibly compelling protagonist, balancing strength with vulnerability in a way that makes her feel real. I particularly loved that she doesn’t fit the genre’s usual perfect beauty standard—her scars make her unique and add so much depth to her character. However, I was slightly disappointed that she hides them behind magical illusions. While it makes sense for her to do so (as she doesn’t want to be recognized by them), it would have been even more powerful to see her embrace them fully.

This Monster of Mine follows Sarai who was the victim of attempted murder 4 years ago. She is hell-bent on getting revenge on the person who did it, only she cannot remember anything from that night. Returning to the scene of the crime as a Petitor, a prosecutor who can detect lies and see into people’s minds, memories begin to unfold. She is thrust into an investigation with her Tetrarch, Kadra, into the “suicides” of multiple Petitors who have come before her. Together they unravel the lies in this world. But Sarai cannot ignore the fact that she remembers Kadra’s voice from the night she was thrown from the tower.
This book was FANTASTIC! It had everything I wanted in a fantasy book.
- political intrigue
- mystery
- corruption
- interesting magic system
- slow burn romance
- fascinating world building
- betrayal
The book was dark and compelling. I was glued to every page. The romance was well developed and believable.
This is going to be a popular book for sure!!

Shalini Abeysekara’s This Monster of Mine is a gripping blend of political intrigue, slow-burn romance, and a justice system laced with magic. With a setting inspired by Ancient Rome and a heroine bent on revenge, this debut novel delivers a spellbinding mix of tension, mystery, and morally grey characters that keep you hooked until the very last page.

Sarai is a compelling protagonist—fierce, determined, and haunted by a past that nearly killed her. She’s armed with the ability to detect lies, making her a formidable force in the city’s corrupted legal system. But her mission for vengeance becomes complicated when she’s paired with Kadra, a ruthless and enigmatic Tetrarch who may be responsible for the very crime that shaped her. Their dynamic is electric, fraught with suspicion, unspoken attraction, and a dangerous push-and-pull that makes every interaction crackle with intensity.

The world-building in this novel is intricate and immersive, weaving together political machinations, class struggles, and a unique legal system built on magic. Abeysekara crafts a society that feels both historically grounded and refreshingly original, with layers of secrets and power plays that add depth to every twist and turn.

Though the romance takes a backseat to the larger plot, it enhances the story with its slow, simmering tension. Sarai and Kadra’s relationship is one of calculated moves and shifting loyalties, making each moment between them feel earned. Kadra, in particular, is a fascinating character—equal parts monstrous and magnetic, a man whose motives remain as shadowy as his reputation.

Beyond the romance and intrigue, This Monster of Mine also delves into deeper themes of justice, morality, and the cost of revenge. It doesn’t shy away from difficult questions, making the reader wrestle with the same dilemmas as its characters. With a razor-sharp narrative, stunning twists, and a heroine who refuses to be broken, this book cements itself as a standout in the romantasy genre.

If you love stories with political intrigue, tension-filled slow burns, and morally complex characters, This Monster of Mine is a must-read.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the review copy. I enjoyed this one! I am loving the combination of fantasy and mystery lately and this was another good example. I would have liked a little more worldbuilding particularly relating to the magic and governing systems, but the characters were well written and complex. Although I am not a big fan of romance in general I thought it worked for this book and avoided the dreaded insta-love that many enemy to lovers plots have. A warning - this book is very dark at times so make sure to check the trigger warnings. But overall, I thought this was a good book and would recommend it for fans of the romantasy genre.

4.5⭐️. The opening for this one is dark, so check trigger warnings! 4 years ago, someone tried to kill Sarai. She has limited memories of what happens, but does know that she was quickly thrown out of the city without justice. The scars she’s been left with prevent her from pursuing her dream career as a healer; however, she also has the ability to magically detect lies. Four years later, an opportunity presents itself for her to return to the scene of the crime and see if she can uncover the mystery that’s been haunting her for years.

I had a great time with this book. While I wish fantasy romance authors wouldn’t constantly choose to age their FMCs so young, Sarai has been through so much in her early life that she doesn’t read like the typical, immature 18 year old.

“Powerful people like you have always made people like me lace ourselves into subservient personalities in order to survive. Then you blame us when they become a second skin.”

The slow burn was slow, which I love. And the world was interesting and felt unique. There weren’t any twists that I didn’t see coming, but that didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the book. I think I heard that this will be a duology and I’m really excited to see where the story will go next!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the e-arc of this book.

With thanks to Hodder & Stoughton and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this ARC!

This was a very strong debut! This is set in an Ancient Rome inspired world, where four Tetrachs rule Edessa with the assistance of their Petitors. Four years ago, Sarai was almost killed in a horrifically brutal manner, but now she has returned to Edessa to find the man who tried to kill her.

I really do have to commend the author for the worldbuilding. I was fascinated from the very first page, and everyhing felt well researched. I was utterly obsessed with the magic system here. The lie detector magic was so incredibly cool and the stormfalls were an excellent addition.

I also loved Sirai. As our main character, she has suffered through so much and is so determined. I loved her tenacity, her drive, and her stubborness. I found her relatable, and enjoyed seeing her investigate and put the pieces together. Her relationship with Kadra is a slow burn, which I think worked well with the story, and I liked seeing their relationship develop and grow and change.

The only thing I didn't necessarily enjoy was the characters ages. In my head when I was reading this back I did age Sirai up at least five years. I don't really understand why she had to be eighteen, and it also felt rather odd to me to have an eighteen year old acting as a magical lawyer. I suppose the magic may handwave away the age part, but I wished the characters were older by at least a few years aat least.

Overall, I did enjoy this story, and I am definitely interested to see it continue! I highly recommend if you want to read something set in a brutal Ancient Rome inspired world with with very strong writing.

I enjoyed this but the world building was fuzzy so some times it was hard to follow. Would have appreciated a glossary at the start for runes, lingo used throughout the book and names of places/characters etc and some of this wasn't really explained in detail, but this is a me issue and did enjoy this for a debut!

4.5⭐️ 2🌶️

- Enemies-to-lovers
- Touch-her-and-💀
- Forced Proximity
- Magic systems
- Slow-burn

When Assessors arrive in the small, remote town of Arsamea, Barmaid Sarai unexpectedly gets a chance to join the next group of prestigious Petitors, who can detect lies in criminal cases. This is her chance to finally get revenge on the mysterious person who left her for dead four years ago. When she’s paired up with the infamous and morally ambiguous judge Tetrarch Kadra, she finds herself questioning whether he’s truly the villain everyone claims him to be. But despite her growing feelings for him, she has to fight them if she wants to stay safe, because whilst she may not know who pushed her off that tower one stormy night, Kadra’s voice sounds like the only memory she has of her attacker…

This Monster of Mine is a brilliant standalone, debut romantasy with a lot of depth. I really enjoyed Sarai’s character development, the slow-burn romance, and the political intrigue kept me hooked until the end!

I loved how the relationship between Sarai and Ciseré was explored. The main relationships aren’t just romantic ones, but it also explores bonds of friendship, family, and community with a lot of subtlety.

Sarai is no one-dimensional heroine. She has flaws, doubts and passion that is embraced and developed. The slow-burn is 🔥 and I fell in love with Kadra from the very beginning!

I would have loved to have seen a bit more world-building, but the ancient Rome-style aesthetic was a great backdrop for the plot.

A great read, thank you to NetGalley and Hodder & Stoughton for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!

When I tell you this book is full of violence and gore, I need you to believe me. It plays a central role in this story, and is described in detail. If that bothers you, do not read this.

That said, holy wow. This had me gripped from the start. The world itself, inspired by ancient Rome, is interesting, and every chapter begins with a flashback so we don't forget what Sarai is here for, what she is uncovering. This is written so well I am surprised it is a debut! The milieus and characters felt real, and it was a good choice to make it all Sarai's POV.

The central themes of justice, law, and political corruption, made me simultaneously feel righteously angry and also just sad, knowing this is going on everywhere in our world too. I love stories like this, that focus on those power structures (like the Shadow of the Leviathan-series).

Kadra's character is allowed to grow through his actions and the interpretations Sarai makes, rather than just relying on other characters saying "he's evil" etc. I appreciate this, because it allows more depth.

The slow burn between Kadra and Sarai is delicious, and though it was clear to me what was going to happen post-final trial, I was glad it was seen to the end in this way. Rarely have I seen a villain eviscerated in such a way at the end of a book.

I want more of this world and Kadra and Sarai!! I received an ARC of this for free, thank you NetGalley. Definitely one of my top reads this year!

This book is an intriguing balance of gothic romance and twisty fantasy, and I feel completely devoured by it! The characters were nuanced and contradictory, and the plot was gripping. I'm gutted to have finished it so quickly, but I couldn't have slowed down if I tried!

I received a copy form the publisher in exchange for an honest review

This book is captivating! Right from the start I was drawn into the mystery of the Sidran Tower Girl and this delightfully magical but brutal world.Sarai is a fantastic MC and her development throughout the story as she sought the answers she's looking for and finds her bravery again was a joy to read. I'm not certain if this is a planned series or not (there was a hint at the end that made me think the author has more planned?) but I really hope it is!

I would describe This Monster of Mine as a political adult fantasy with elements of romance. The intricate plot weaves together a tapestry of intrigue, power struggles, and forbidden love that kept me captivated from the very first page.

The book was a great read and will absolutely appeal to you if you love mystery, elements of legal fiction, or fantasy. The author's masterful storytelling effortlessly combines these genres, creating a gripping narrative that keeps you on the edge of your seat. Each twist and turn was meticulously crafted, adding depth and complexity to the story.

Although I was expecting a bit more romance, the author wrote that element so well that it kept me hanging on to see what would happen next. The slow-burn romance is beautifully executed, with intense chemistry and emotional depth that make every interaction between the characters feel significant and real.

This book would be perfect for fans of Kingdom of the Wicked or Cruel is the Light. The compelling characters and the political intrigue will draw you in and leave you wanting more. If you're looking for a story that combines political plots, fantasy elements, and a touch of romance, this is the perfect read for you.

I really liked the authors writing style but found the plot and characters to be lacking in depth. I would happily try other books by this author in the future but for now I just don't feel like this book had anything that was exciting or worth higher than a 2*. The plot and pacing seemed off and there wasn't enough about the characters for me to really care about them or what happened to them as the story progressed. The romance also was not something I enjoyed, I dont mind darker themed romances but this one again didn't have enough depth for me to really care about or enjoy. Also there is a difference between a character being dark and broody and then just outright abusive and feel this towed too close to the line for my enjoyment.

“𝙞 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝙞 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪”

where do i even begin without spoiling the absolute masterpiece that is this monster of mine?

this book follows sarai, an eighteen-year-old determined to seek justice for the attempted murder that nearly took her life four years ago. the case was closed without answers, but she refuses to let it rest. now, she returns as a petitor - a prosecutor with the ability to detect lies - and is assigned to work alongside tetrarch kadra, one of the four most powerful judges in the land

kadra is a force of nature - ice-cold, ruthless, and feared by all. he’s also the prime suspect in a string of murders that bear a chilling resemblance to the attack on sarai. convinced of his guilt, she begins living a double life: solving cases with him by day while secretly working to bring him down by night. but the more time she spends with him, the more tangled things become. kadra isn’t just the monster she imagined - he’s dangerously alluring, fiercely intelligent, and seemingly set on destroying the corruption within their world

as sarai uncovers dark truths and political conspiracies, she finds herself caught between vengeance and something she never expected - a growing attraction to the very man she swore to take down. but the most terrifying part? kadra’s voice is the only memory she has of the night she was attacked…

now, let’s talk about why this book absolutely wrecked me in the best way possible

from the very first page, i was hooked. the worldbuilding is rich and atmospheric, inspired by ancient rome but laced with its own unique magic and politics. the tension? exquisite. every conversation between sarai and kadra crackled with suspicion, intensity, and something that made my heart race. the romance is the perfect balance of forbidden, slow-burn, and utterly intoxicating, and the plot twists?? mind-blowing

sarah’s writing is sharp, immersive, and addictive - she weaves a story that is brutal, intricate, and impossible to put down. the political intrigue, the betrayals, the angst - everything was perfectly executed

if you love dark fantasy, morally gray characters, and slow-burn, enemies-to-lovers romance with insane chemistry - read this book immediately

“𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙨𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩. 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞’𝙡𝙡 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙤𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙛 𝙞 𝙙𝙞𝙙, 𝙞 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙𝙣’𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚𝙜 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪”

This 2025 release absolutely needs to be on your TBR list. Abeysekara's debut novel, This Monster of Mine, is wholly original, gripping, and fierce.

The story takes place in Edessa, a city loosely based on Ancient Rome. Sarai moves there to uncover who attempted to murder her when she was only 14 years old. She was tossed off a tower, and the head trauma removed most of her memories. Everyone believes that Sarai (known as the Sidran Tower Girl) is dead, and because she's been healed from her injuries with a new appearance and face, she can investigate without her assailant knowing her identity.

Meanwhile, while Sarai searches for the truth, she becomes a Petitor assigned to the deadly Tetrarch Kadra. Essentially, she acts a type of prosecutor with magical abilities who assists the Tetrarchs in serving justice. However, Sarai faces constant danger, as someone is killing off Petitors one by one. And by investigating what happened to the The Sidran Tower Girl, she puts an ever larger target on her back.

This intricate, original plot kept me on my toes for the entire novel. I loved how Abeysekara portrays Sarai's anger and determination, and I enjoyed solving the mystery alongside her and her allies. Moreover, the romance in this book is wonderful — intense, exciting, and tender.

Kadra, Sarai's Tetrarch, is a brutal, enigmatic figure who may or may not have been involved in her fall. Sarai must grapple with whether she can trust him. The story also features a vibrant cast, including other Petitors and Tertrachs. I loved Anek and bitterly disliked Cisure and Harrion, Sarai's fellow Petitors.

The novel's strongest quality is its portrayal of an intricate magical and legal system that still hides corruption, classism, and evil. Sarai and Kadra attempt to serve justice fairly, if viciously, and must navigate a system riddled with bullies, oppressors, and crooked businessmen.

Overall, This Monster of Mine is a highly satisfying romantasy — dark, clever, bloody, and immersive. I hope to read more from Abeysekara, either in a sequel (perhaps Cisure's redemption story?) or in a new venture.

4.5/5 stars

There's Dark Academia and there is Darkest Academiae. In this book the dark is really dark and you should check the trigger warnings (or just read the prologue and see if you can stomach it).

In a fantasy world inspired by Ancient Rome there are power structures that invoke violence and injustice. In the middle of it is the FMC who has been brutally attacked four years ago and now seeks revenge.
On the other hand is the MMC who might or night not be part of the problem, and surprises us at every turn.

I admit I had trouble getting through the book as I was always at the edge of my seat fearing another attack or some reveal that might lead into the next abyss.
However, I have to say that the book handles these dark themes with a lot of respect and does not do shocking scenes for the sake of it. Everything is part of an intricate plot.
And more then once you find yourself wondering who the monsters really are.

I have never read a book like this, and while I admire what it does, I will not keep reading more books in this world.

4/5 stars

Thank you @netgalley and @hodderbooks for the eARC!

#ThisMonsterOfMine #Netgalley #Bookstagram

Well I inhaled this! Really struggled to put it down, it was so engaging and well paced. Politics, revenge, morally grey characters and a forbidden slow burn that had some excellent tension. It was dark too, quite horrific in places but I loved it. Kadra was amazingly dark and contained and Sarai was fierce and firey but stopped and used her brains before falling to far into the presumption/miscommunication trap, hooray! Great side characters that i honestly wanted more of, I wanted more in general actually. I hope we do get more in this world!
Thanks to Netgalley and Hodder and Stoughton for the arc, all thoughts are my own and left voluntarily.