I knew I should have put my kindle down and gone to sleep when I glanced at my watch and saw it was nearing midnight but I couldn't. Coffee exists for a reason. This Monster of Mine is worth the sleep deprivation. It is just so compelling. I'm writing this review at almost 2am because my reading high won't subside. It's terribly frustrating.

If there's no romance in a novel, I'm generally not interested but despite the (admittedly great) slow burn romance, this is one of the few fantasy romance novels that I've read in the past few years that would still be a great novel even if the romance wasn't there. I was so invested in what happened that night four years ago that I would have devoured the novel just to find out. The romance just enhanced what was already a fantastic story. The tension and the yearning between Sarai and Khadra was so executed superbly and the romance was built on a foundation of respect rather than lust and snarky banter even though Sarai had a grudging attraction to Khadra from the moment she glimpses his bare chest. I admired Sarai's character given she was full of righteous anger and embodied strength in a way that more than her deftness with a blade.

This is definitely one of my favourite reads of 2025 so far and given it is Shalini Abeysekara's debut novel, I will be reading more of her work in the future.

4.5⭐️s!

Sarai returns to the city to seek revenge after being thrown off a tower 4 years ago.
She must keep under wraps her true identity to discover the truth.

Wow! What an amazing debut book!

I loved the characters and the premise. I had no idea where this was going and really couldn't predict the ending. It's not often I'm hooked like this and finished within 48 hours!

At the start, there is some unnecessary world building with words switched to a fantasy version for no reason but keep pushing on!! It's definitely worth it!

I can't wait to see what else Shalini writes in the future!

Thank you to NetGalley and the author for providing me with a copy of This Monster of Mine.

This was an excellent read and I loved the dystopian feel created by the author whilst remaining in a fantasy world. I also loved that the whole story was a slowly unfolding mystery and that the reader was left to figure out which characters (all excellent) to trust and how far the corruption extends.

Fans of Scythe would definitely enjoy this and I would 100% recommend this to fans of darker dystopian fantasy with a strong political plot and unfolding mysteries!

I absolutely loved this book. I've been going through a reading slump, but even during my reading slump I had to read this book everyday, even if it was only a few pages. The FMC Sarai was amazing. She had such a strong conflict of what is right and was never swayed from that path. Kadra is an amazing character who we slowly unravel through the book. I love how he's the only one that really sees how amazing Sarai is.

I'm not a big romance person so I loved the very slow burn. The chemistry between the two main characters was perfect. The main plot was getting justice which I liked.

The book was wrapped perfectly and I will be looking for more books by this author.

Thank you to NetGalley, Hodder & Stoughton (Hodderscape) and Shalini Abeysekara for sending me an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Sarai, the book’s main character, is determined to find out who tried to murder her four years ago, and becomes a Petitor (like a prosecutor, but with magic) to find out the truth - giving her the perfect opportunity to conduct investigations of her own.

This Monster of Mine is very different to other things I have read before - and I have to say, I loved it! The premise was unique (at least for me) and very intriguing.

The world building and the writing generally was very clear and concise, and as a reader, you don’t feel completely lost (which is what can happen in a lot of fantasy books). The magic system was fascinating - using runes to conduct magic (whether that be detecting lies, fire, lightning or healing). I particularly loved the duality of the magic throughout the book - and loved how healing magic was used to hurt others (in a very cool way too!)

I loved the relationship arcs, the high stakes and the plot twists and the story is full to the brim of mystery, conspiracy, social commentary, angst and yearning. It also comments on the relationship between power and obsession, and how power can corrupt you (if you let it). All of the characters felt well-rounded and I enjoyed how relationships between the characters developed - for the good, and for the bad. The main character, Sarai, feels like a real person - she’s flawed, she’s angry (I love feminine rage) and she is learning the same things, at the same time that readers are.

This Monster of Mine is an amazing debut!!

This book is a stunning masterpiece that wraps you in its dark, intoxicating grip and never lets go. The writing is lush and razor-sharp, filled with an almost poetic brutality that makes every scene feel visceral. The romance is a slow, excruciating dance between power and obsession, with Kadra exuding that perfect balance of cold cruelty and undeniable allure while Sarai is a force of fire and fury, torn between her vengeance and the dangerous pull of the man she wants to destroy. The tension between them is electric, simmering beneath every exchange, every stolen glance, every moment of barely restrained violence. The themes of justice, deception, and power play out in a world so richly crafted it feels like stepping into something forbidden. It is the kind of story that leaves you breathless, aching, and utterly ruined in the best possible way.

It's been 48 hours and I genuinely still don't have words for how much I adore this book! I was wary going into it because it was marketed as a spicy romantasy (literally the other end of the spectrum of what I like to read) but my GOD is that an a simplification of what it is! This book was such a brilliant example of plot, character work, relationship arcs, plot twists, high stakes- literally eventing that you want to make a book good, this executed it brilliantly. It had mystery, conspiracy, social commentary, yearning and pining and angst, and so much buildup followed by just as much payoff! The pacing of this book- I really cannot get past how well it was paced and how that laid such a solid foundation for all the messy personal stuff to come down on and build up from.

There is so much trust in the reader going into the first few chapters- we aren't bogged down by info-dumping so it's a little overwhelming and I was confused about the hierarchy and the magic for a few chapters but it's a very smooth transition into it, and I absolutely loved that the pacing (once again) of the story allowed the reader to gently ease into the world. The magic is so bloody cool- the lightening, the healing, the way healing was a double-edged ability that could also be used to hurt?? And the different skills (?) it took to execute both sides of the magic was such an interesting idea, particularly the way it played into our main character's development and character arc. I like the idea of Ancient Rome and it's so interesting to me so that was a big bonus going into it- that being said, I actually don't know much about it let alone the legal side of that society, so getting to read this was so interesting and felt very novel. I think it holds a different appeal to someone who is familiar with the inspiration (they'll be able to appreciate the similarities/deviations) and someone who isn't (it was like a whole new world opened up, and I was gripped!).
There was a lot of social commentary, both subtle and overt, and I'm not usually a fan of the in-your-face commentary, it usually feels clunky and like it was just dumped in the middle of an otherwise flowing scene. That is NOT the case here. I absolutely loved the way Shalini inserted little quips and comments from both the main and side characters on the flaws of their society and laws etc. in a way that made perfect sense in context and also harked to real-life concerns. It felt completely organic, and I found myself aggressively annotating in the margins of those scenes about how much I loved it! One of my absolute favourite bits of dialogue is when Sarai is being told to stop talking about disparity and poverty and she retorts that that is literally what her life has been and continues to be even though she's clawed her way to a higher position. I stopped reading and just, absorbed that because it's so?? It's very obvious and then she says it and you're like- yeah. Exactly. Let's not get into how much I hated her friend- from the very first page I was scribbling in the margins calling her all sorts of names because the rage that that girl incited- genuinely wanted to punch her through the page (even though I may have a tiny shred of empathy because, yeah things worked out the way they did whatever I'm still going to be a hater). I think any author who can make me despise characters to degree I did here with the bad guys deserves some sort of medal because good or bad, I care very deeply about these people. I was *almost* disappointed when the motivations of the bad guys was revealed, not for any shortcoming of the writing (that reminds phenomenal throughout- matter of fact, it gets better with every page turned) but because it was so representative of real life men in power who do all these heinous things for?? Money? Be serious. It's never a shock but also a big fat question mark when you realise that life could be rainbows and dolphins if men just didn't do what they do when they get a little bit of prestige. Anyways. This all to say that to build a whole fantasy world and have these insane plot points and red herrings and conspiracies and keep the reader LOCKED IN and still have people just be people and have that be so far from disappointing as an ending? Yeah, YEAH she did that!!!

Onto Sarai- my girl- I love that girl so freaking much she's on my list of fave FMCs ever of all time in the whole world and all the other worlds. The way she was written, with so much love and grief and anger and tentative hope and longing poured into her- it could've never been anything less than an absolute joy and pleasure to be in her head for those 400 pages and I cannot wait to be in it again for book 2! She is an incredibly complex character- she has so many warring feelings inside her, informed by her memories or lack thereof, by what people are feeding her, what she thinks the law should be, what she is told it is, and what she reluctantly realises it is. There's a bit- multiple- that says something along the lines of how the law is built to serve the rich and powerful and to keep the common people with something to do so they don't throw a fit (this is an extreme power-phrasing I can't find the line because I'm just a girl and I only tabbed the things Kadra said and I have no shame about it ANYWAYS) and it felt like a punch to the face twofold because you're being reminded that this is the truth for us, and for Sarai but she's just been violently shown it after a lifetime of relying on that very law. I felt so so so deeply for her, every moment of doubt, every time she apologised for her rage to the one person she loved most and trusted- "I just believed you" made me throw up- every time she had to drag herself back up and out of the door to do what she believed so deeply that she physically couldn't stand back from dolling it out. Of all the characters I've ever read there are few that I've identified with as much as Sarai and so seeing her become the version of herself that is able to stand in front of a whole stadium of people, bear her scars, and be vulnerable, and be okay with that because she believes in what she's doing was somewhat cathartic. Seeing her get the love she deserved, being validated for her anger and her resentment, being told that she's allowed to make mistakes and be imperfect and keep coming back and still be worth something- I will be rocking up to my therapy sessions with this book as a guideline LOL

Onto Kadra- I have so many words and so few coherent thoughts and as someone from something once said (was it Emma?) If I loved [him] less, I would be able to talk about it more. And tbf that's exactly where I'm at with this man. Exhibits A through O of me sending my friends 10 minutes voice messages just giggling and saying oh my god over and over over the course of this read is evidence of that. Everyone loves a book boyfriend who tells the girl that she's the best thing since sliced bread or since cheesecake but a man who doesn't inflate her ego for the sake of progressing the romance? A man who drills into that that he will not hold her to the same perfection she holds herself to, that she is valuable even when she makes mistakes, that she is strong, that her anger is righteous and valid and justified and that she should wield it instead of repress it???? A man who doesn't declare his intentions to avenge her but who shows her over and over again at the cost of his own security and title, a man who apologises for his faults and who promises to shield her (and then follows through- I'm convinced that if he [redacted] earlier, that shield would have still held up for as long as she needed it to to be safe argue with the damned wall!). "My Sarai" when I say that sent me spiralling, I do not exaggerate. When he said that this was all for [redacted] and then said that everyone involved, HIMSELF INCLUDED, would be [redacted] once he [redacted]. When I say I bawled I'm being painfully literal. And every. Single. Time. He lifted her chin up- particularly the time when he was all bloody- yeah, yeah, I am just a girl after all. I loved the moments where Sarai was ogling him because yeah she's strong and has stuff to do but she's also just a girl and he is a hottie of a calibre untested before now. Also I'm not fully convinced he's fully human, I'm just not. This is based on evidence but is yet to be canon.....yet being the key word.....

I also loved that the romance felt organic! It wasn't rushed or toxic or harmful, it felt real. She spent so much time being so conflicted, and the way she was allowed space and time both by the author and by Kadra to work through those doubts and prove them wrong herself!!! And then to trust him in the way she did because he had proved over and over that he was good- it's really something. I love the pacing of when they got together; that they were able to go from reluctant coworkers to allies to friends and then lovers but in a non-linear way that spoke to real connection and so much thought being put into their dynamic beyond enemies-to-lovers for the sake of it, the obvious consent (even if sometimes it wasn't verbal) in all corners of their relationship. I really hope book 2 explores more of their dynamic and doesn't fall into the trap of now that they're together all is well forever and always and all they do when they're in the same room is shag with no real development of their relationship or individual characters, which so many series do unforch :( (but I trust that she loves these characters even more than I do so I know book 2 will be phenomenal!)

There's honestly so much between these two that would require me trauma dumping to explain why I loved it so much and this is just not the place to do that LMAO but this book was healing in so many ways and forced introspection in the gentlest of ways. It felt (sans the gut wrenching angst and the unparalleled stress that rivalled the stress my anxiety causes me when I have to do a menial task) like a warm hug- one of those that doesn't end till you let go first. You can feel and see how much love and heart the author poured into these characters, this world, the pursuit of justice in all its forms here, and it honestly makes such a difference.

I also loved the side charters- every single one of the ones that weren't evil lol. They were all fleshed out without taking from the main group, they had backstories and lore and separate motivations that all fed into the plot and the way things worked out and how everyone interacted with each other. From Gaius and Anek who got more page time to the nameless people of Kadra's Quarter to the grieving families of the Petitors. They were all so very real and held their own little worlds within them I felt and saw even if they were just side characters. It's so impressive to read a book and feel like you've stepped through a portal into that world and this book did exactly that. It was honestly transportive!

I don't think I have a single complaint for this book except maybe my eye twitched a little when he said good girl- did not love that- but the girlies will eat it up so it's only half a complaint LMAO

I feel that I've written as much as I can, this book is so special to me, and I hold it so close to my heart for many reasons, but I struggle to put all those feelings into words because of how big the feelings are.

From the dedication onwards, this book had me HOOKED! The magic system was really interesting and not something I had read before (it made me wish I hadn’t forgotten so much of the 6 years of Latin I took in school). Going into a new fantasy book can always be “stressful” if it takes you half the book to understand - this was not the case for TMoM and the magic system was just the right amount of intriguing without being too complicated.

The writing, plot, and pacing of the book were well done and kept me on the edge of my seat until the very end. And the political commentary was just *chef’s kiss* and so relevant to what is currently going on in the world. 10/10

The characters were well-rounded and I loved Sarai, her female rage and her need for revenge! The relationships between the different characters (both the romantic and platonic ones) were so interesting and I really enjoyed the complicated relationship between Sarai and her friend Cisure. And don’t even get me started on the relationship between Sarai and Kadra -, the slow-burn, the TENSION! - It was just perfection.

A dark and visceral fantasy inspired by Ancient Rome. I loved this! The setting (an Acadamiae surrounded by four quarters with four towers each controlled by a Tetrarch, basically the ruler of that quarter) was fully realised and I felt like I was there. The use of Latin (especially Legalese words) added to the atmosphere and otherworldly feel of the setting. Sarai and Kadra are both such great main characters and I’m fully ok with morally grey characters so I loved them! This is a lot darker than some dark academia/fantasy and I would say it veers more towards horror with quite vivid scenes of violence.

4.5 stars

This Monster of Mine turned out to be darker than I had expected, and you know what? I am so here for that. I was confused by the world-building, especially as we are thrown into the action, and there were a lot of Latin terms, but it started making sense pretty quickly. The world that this book is set in is dark and rife with danger at every corner. The magic felt unique and involves a mix of runes to control specific things - to disguise, to detect lies, to cause fires - which makes for some very tense scenarios in the book.

Sarai, our main character, is determined to find out who was behind her murder attempt from year ago and becomes a Petitor to find out the truth. But in doing so, finds herself assigned to ruthless, deadly and ice-cold Tetrach Kadra, a judge with no mercy and many secrets. One thing about Sarai that I really like was how very determined and stubborn she was; she refuses to back down from finding out the truth about cases and put that truth out there, rather than a version of it. Even though her life is danger, she refuses to give up and continues to investigate dangerous truths and angles in order to find out what happened that night four years ago.

Her dynamic with Kadra is interesting, because at first she is confused by why Kadra chooses her as his prosecutor. Kadra is cold and brutal, and is constantly testing Sarai. Yet Sarai slowly grows a semblance of an attraction towards him, which only makes their dynamic more interesting. This is an intense slowburn and this is slowburn done right. There are also some scenes that fall under the 'who did this to you?' trope and I was obsessed!

As I mentioned in the earlier paragraphs, the book is dark and dangerous. There are scenes full of unbridled violence and because of the gorgeous prose, it is so easy to visualise them, which does get intense. The climax delivers a stunning scene, and the ending is even better. I honestly thought it might have ended on a cliffhanger but I am so glad that it didn't.

This Monster of Mine is a stunning debut and delivers on all fronts. I loved the world-building here and I wouldn't mind more books set in the same world, because I feel there is room to do so much more here. I'll definitely be looking out for other books from Shalini Abeysekara!

This Monster of Mine is so different to anything I've read in a while and I absolutely loved this debut novel. Set against an ancient Roman inspired fantasy world we follow Sarai who at a young age suffererd a brutal ordeal and was left for dead so four years later she gets the opportunity to return to the capital to become a petitor (similar to a prosecutor but with magic) while giving her the perfect chance to investigate and plot her revenge on who attempted to kill her, she finds herself assigned to Tetrarch Kadra (similar to a judge) her no 1 suspect.

The main thing about this book that I loved was the depth and the complexity of each and every character and the extensive worldbuilding, which even though it took me a little while getting used to once I did it was so easy to understand and get lost in. Even though it was a fantasy book it felt so relatable while exploring and dealing with so many different themes and heavy topics that makes it feel all the more realistic.

While also being a murder mystery which again I was enjoying immensely, it does have a really beautiful slow burn romance between Sarai and Kadra which is more of a subplot but let me tell you this romance was so beautifully written from longing touches to lingering looks and I loved it so much, it was perfectly developed throughout the story so when the spice came towards the end it made it so so worth it. I loved their relationship so much their dynamic is filled with so much uncertainty but it left every interaction between them so compelling, the character growth was also done so well and I really enjoyed how the romance didn't take away from the main plot but instead enhanced it.

Please do check trigger warnings though as the author does an amazing job at portraying some rather heavy themes, topics and emotions with vivid writing that can make it hard for some to read.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read this before publication.

Thank you Netgalley and the publisher for an early copy of this book. All opinions are my own.

I, am flabbergasted, I'm in awe. This was such a devastating debut, Shalini Abeysekara knew she had a story to tell and told it in the most impeccable way. Between the plot, characters and setting there was nothing, and I say nothing, that I did not like.
Plus we're set in a world that is inspired from ancient Rome, and I'm Italian, so I knew it was going to be a good read from the very start.

Kadra and Sarai have climbed their way into my heart, easily claiming the spot between some of my favorite couples. Kadra, all-mighty Tetrarch that seems to know it all, who wears power and manipulation like a glove and Sarai. A fighter, not a quitter, someone that found the courage to change their life after all that's unfair was thrown at heron where forgetting and moving on isn't admitted, not until those who have wronged her- and many other after her- were to be brought in front of a trial.

Trials, another thing this book had plenty of, and that made my interest sky-rocket to the moon. Each trial we had was full of tension (tbh all this book was tension filled and that's once again another scored point) and how Sarai slowly but steadily tore through years of lies and secret hid in plain sight as she researched the truth was so satisfying to read, how she related to each other character (especially our Kadra) was well done. Both her relationship with the remaining of the Tetrarchs and the other Petitors.

AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE TENSION BETWEEN OUR CRUEL TETRARCH AND HIS HEADSTRONG PETITOR? THEIR SMALL SNARKY REMARKS AS THE STORY PROGRESSED? OH I'M ALL IN FOR MORE OF THAT.

This is going to be if not the first then the second time where I've actually wanted to buy the book and have it on my bookshelf.
What an amazing read, the only thing that this book misses for now is a map to help the reader picture Edessa. The rest is amazing stunning, give me 15 of these.

5⭐️ 1.25/1.5

This Monster of Mine is very dark, I'd suggest reading the trigger warnings before going into it. To me, the opening was disturbing and set the tone for the rest of the story. I didn't know how brutal it was going to be before picking it up. However, while it didn't work for me due to the dark tone and violence I can see it appealing to people who are after this type of romantasy.

It's hard to create a standalone fantasy book that doesn't feel rushed. However, Abeysekara delivers both great world building and character development. The main character, Sarai, is quiet but fiery. Someone not to be underestimated and very easy to root for. The romance is a slow burn, it truly deliveries on enemies to lovers. Plus, the love interest is all about consent!

If you want a dark romantasy that is is equal parts romance and plot then look no further. While This Monster of Mine wasn't my cup of tea, I would still recommend it as I have no complaints about the world building or romance.

I apologise that this wasn't the book for me, so I will try to give feedback that is useful to readers, who I think it will suit. Please be aware that I was unable to finish the whole book as I couldn't engage, so I cannot comment on the ending.

This monster of mine, is an interesting fantasy, in that the main character Sarai has a dark past, that is motivating her into vengeance. and her love interest Kadra, is equally dark with his own complicated backstory. It's a story of finding love despite the complications, and learning to trust again. The world-building is immense with great detail from the offset, with magic underpinning but not being centre-stage. The world is dark, with complex hierarchy and polities affecting character's lifes.

If you enjoy political fantasy and characters with questionable motives that you end up rooting for anyway, then you'd enjoy this book. There is a lot going on, so it's one of those fantasies where you really do have to focus, but if you are the type of reader, to enjoy being fully immesed in a completely new world, and watch the characters slowly develop alongside the plot, then you will be obsessed with this read! Unfortunately, I wasn't able to stay focussed enough to appreciate it, but that reflects on me as a reader, and not on the book's readablity. I'm therefore happy to rate it a 4 star, despite it not being the read for me.

Absolutely devoured this book!! The Ancient setting was amazing and I was hooked from the beginning. Highly recommend as it was an amazing ride!

This entire story had me in a trance, I just couldn't stop turning the pages! The world building was next level and the idea of the magic abilities being tied into the justice system was unlike anything I’ve ever read!

As for the romance, I was obsessed from the very first introduction… Kadra owns my heart and soul from this day forward

I would recommend this for anyone who’s interested in reading romantasy with a hint of crime, it was a unique blend of genres Ive never tried before but I definitely will read again!

Rating - 4.75⭐️

I already knew from the synopsis and the fanart that I was going to enjoy this🙂‍↕️. The plot was intriguing since the prologue, and I also really liked how difficult it was to trust anyone. There’s a lot of injustice and corruption at the heart of the world building that Sarai must fight against.

She wants to seek revenge on who tried to kill her four years ago while cohabiting with Kadra, who is one of the suspects👀👀.

I instantly loved Sarai in the first chapter!! I love all her inner dialogue because it’s so funny to me and entertaining. She’s honestly such a mood to me. I won’t say much about Kadra since it’s better to go in blind and get to know him as you read, but he’s morally grey, strategic, and manipulative👀🤭.

Sarai doesn’t trust Kadra AT ALL and I’d be the same too because that man is so enigmatic😭. They have a great slow burn emotional connection despite Sarai having a strong physical attraction for Kadra. The slow burn was so worth the pay off and the tension was INSANEEE!!! Every interaction they shared made me either go like “😳” or “🥹”. You’ll know what I mean when you read it🙂‍↕️✋🏻.

Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC copy of this book.

WOW. This book was incredible!

From start to finish it had me hooked, there was no point where I felt like it dragged and I couldn’t stop reading

The enemies to lovers was perfect 👌🏼 following Sarai on this journey for revenge and answers, not knowing what direction it was going to go was a beautifully tragic story and the writing style was top tier.

Kadra 🥵😍 what more could I say?


*side note; I’m glad I read it on my Kindle as I’m not ashamed to say there were a lot of words in there I had no idea of the meaning 😂 it didn’t affect the story though you soon pick up what is meant

Thank you to NetGalley, the author and publishers for access to this ARC 📚.

🔥Quick Fire Review🔥

Genre/Themes: 🏛️⚔️👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻🔮🕵🏽‍♀️🧙🏻‍♀️
Tropes: Antihero, Orphan, Love/Hate Relationship, Socially Inferior, Ancient Settings, Emotional Scars, Sworn Off a Relationship, Ugly Duckling, Enemies to Lovers, Loveable Rogue, Lovers in Denial, Old Enemies, All Powerful Artefacts, Amnesia, Everyone Can See It, Good Vs Evil, Magic School, Touch Her and Die
Positives ✅ : really great and engaging plot with an awesome ‘who dunnit’ mystery, interesting magical universe, strong main characters
Room for Improvement 🔎 : romance writing needs some refining, some predictable story lines and plot twists, underutilised aspects of world building
Rating: 🌕🌕🌕🌕

✍🏻Full Review - RISK OF SPOILERS 🛑 and buckle in, it’s another long one

I think this is a WONDERFUL debut novel! When I got to the end and there was no mention of a sequel I anxiously had to check Goodreads and THANK GOD there is a second book planned. I read this in the space of four days.

Characterisation:
Our main character Sarai was really interesting to read. She has had a hard life and the author wasn’t afraid to show the consequences of that. She deals with severe anxiety and PTSD, oftentimes manifesting as unchecked and impulsive anger, while also suffering from some disability involving her hands. She is in many ways a vigilante but starts out as wanting to do things the ‘right’ way, perhaps being naive in believing good and evil is a clear binary. I loved watching the world she lives in chip away at this naivety. I saw myself in her a lot of the time, in that she almost feels too much and struggles to deal with it. Her strong moral compass makes it difficult for her to comprehend the actions or values of others if she disagrees, resulting in her just wanting to scream in people’s faces to knock sense into them. She knew what to say, for the most part, to get by and was quite a talented manipulator without recognising it. She occasionally showed some wit and a sense of humour, but I do wish we saw a bit more of this.
Kadra was also a fascinating read. He is dark, mysterious and intimidating and as we find out also quite the vigilante. He is definitely morally grey, not being afraid of causing harm if it is for the greater good while also being sentimental enough to dedicate his entire life to someone he regretted causing harm to when he was younger. He is a very strong magic wielder which I wish was shown a little bit more, as I felt it was underutilised. His backstory is somewhat a mystery and I hope it’s expanded on in book two. He too showed a dark sense of humour which sometimes made him even more intimidating. If anything, after the warnings at the beginning of the book, I was expecting him to be MORE brutal. This is the only thing, characterisation wise, that I can pinpoint as to why I wasn’t 100% convinced of Sarai and Kadra’s chemistry. I enjoyed it but didn’t feel the same heart-racing anticipation or heart-aching yearning as I have similar books. Perhaps if he was more brutal his weakness for Sarai may have felt more special, and his ‘recklessness’ would have been more obvious as I found myself not recognising it. I suppose we didn’t get to see enough of his non-reckless side, before Sarai, to see the comparison. It would have been great to see more scheming.
Aelius, Tullus and Helvus were the main villains and they were a weaker spot for me. Aelius in particular was supposed to be this all-powerful mage, but I didn’t feel we actually saw much of his magic at all. I found them a little too cartoonish-like villains to be genuinely intimidated by them, particularly Tullus. Their motives of your typical ‘money and power’ didn’t seem enough for me, particularly Tullus’ abuse of women, and I wished they’d been a little more fleshed out. I felt the same towards Tullus’ petitor Harion, who seemed to just hate Sarai because she got a shortcut into the Academiae. His misogynistic attitude is pushed as well, but again… why? Why does this matter so much to him? Why does he have the attitudes he does?
The person who scared me the most was actually Sarai’s best friend Cisuré. At times I wanted to join Sarai in screaming at her because it was terrifying how brainwashed she was. I thought it was interesting that, despite suffering the same abuse as Sarai did in Arsamea at the hands of Marus, Cisuré’s different social background resulted in her dealing with trauma differently. Instead, she is blindly trusting and naive in believing those at the top are the ones to trust. She becomes devoutly religious which she hadn’t before, showing that her trauma led her to seek safety and validation in others so desperately that she refuses to see another point of view. Instead, she sees Sarai as a ‘perpetual victim’. I genuinely seethed at her for most of the book.
Other side characters such as Anek, his Tetrarch Cassandane and the magus Telmar were underutilised as well. Particularly Telmar, who could have been a really funny reluctant hero and in some ways that was what I was expecting when we first met him but it didn’t really come to fruition. He could have been more of a mentor to Sarai, a drunkard one admittedly. Anek and Cassandane both had quite generic dialogue, and I felt the only thing I really knew about Anek is that they were non-binary or a ‘neutralis’. I didn’t really know much else.

World-Building:
The author mentions her influence from Ancient Rome, and I do see that. Edessa is split into four ‘quarters’, each assigned to a Tetrarch, which almost reminds me of the factions in chariot racing. Each Tetrarch is assigned a petitor, which were similar to an emperor’s advisor. Legal verdicts and executions are performed in an amphitheatre to a crowd of citizens, and the citizens are bloodthirsty and enjoy a spectacle. This gives the impression of a ‘democracy’, but just as Rome was there is plenty of political corruption. The streets are full of markets and bazaars, there are guilds for metal and grain and there are plenty of taverns and pleasure houses. The magic system added a twist to this. Those with the correct bloodline can activate runes upon a bracelet they wear, which are activated by their blood and ‘drain’ their magic reserves when used. There are several different runes, and typically nobody is capable of wielding all of them hence the need for petitors who can use the rune for recognising truth or lie. I hope this magic system is explored a bit more in book two, as I still think a lot of it is a mystery. What gives someone this power and why doesn’t everyone have it? Why are there limitations? Where did this all stem from? There is also mention in the glossary of runes that weren’t used in this instalment, so it’ll be great to see those. Summoning was the power I struggled to understand the most. It appears to be a summoning of gods, but people only ever seem to summon Lord Death which made it appear to be a sort of forced suicide. Again, this would make sense with the Rome influences as suicide was sometimes seen as the honourable thing to do. But then later on we learn Lord Death, or other Gods who may appear if that is even a thing, have to give the summoner a favour. This hasn’t been mentioned at all until the end, and I don’t really understand why. Why can you just summon death and ask for a favour? Shouldn’t there be consequences to the favour? Unless the consequence is death, but then that didn’t happen in the plot so again I was left confused. It would be great if this and the other runes were made clearer in book two. Edessa is also plagued by destructive lightning storms which the Tetrarchs are responsible for controlling. The city has to evacuate any open areas during one and are given magical posts to place outside their houses to deflect them, which forms the main part of the plot. Is there a reason this city is so prone to lightning? Were mages created or developed because of the lightning, or were the people there before the lightning was? I did think it was a bit glossed over even though it was such a destructive force on Edessa.

Prose\Plot:
Plot wise, I was hooked. I thought it was a really believable and entertaining way of presenting political corruption and indoctrination. However, it was very clear from the start that Aelius and Tullus were the baddies. I wish it had taken a bit longer to figure it out. If anything, a deeper investigation into all the Tetrarchs and their backgrounds by Sarai would have been a good first plot point and would have allowed some more character building for Cassandane. I’d have liked to have suspected all of the Tetrarch’s at different points. It was also very obvious whenever Cisuré was being deceptive, so wish that had been a bit more subtle as well. I also felt Kadra was demobilised far too easily at the end of the book. He is supposed to be an unbelievably powerful mage, suspiciously so, but is beaten by Aelius and his vigiles (soldiers) in one go. I’m also not sure if I liked his ending or not, or whether the Summoning felt like a cop-out. I think if we see some consequences to that in book two I’ll be happier with it. I definitely would have liked to have seen more about the Academiae. Because Sarai basically just walks in, I feel we learn next to nothing about the training petitors have to go through. I’d have loved to have seen more learning of magic-wielding. It felt like a bit of a forgotten aspect of the petitors’ stories. My other qualm was the romance writing. Moments of sexual tension were very repetitive, I’m surprised Kadra’s jaw isn’t its own character or his teeth were ground down to stumps it was mentioned so often. When they finally do the deed the writing quality dipped, it felt a lot more like fanfiction writing. First of all, Sarai is meant to be a virgin but immediately seems to know what she’s doing. Secondly, some pet peeves of mine are the ‘hurting when it first goes in’ cliché and the ‘has a vaginal orgasm first time like it’s easy’. Ladies, we need to stop this. IF IT HURTS, YOU’RE NOT TURNED ON ENOUGH. AND ONLY 18% OF WOMEN CAN CLIMAX THROUGH PENETRATION ALONE, AND DEFINITELY NOT AN INEXPERIENCED VIRGIN. I want REALISM. We need to dispel these myths amongst ourselves and in society. Anyway, moving on from that rant, I otherwise found the prose very readable and as I said earlier think it is a tremendous effort for a debut.

Brilliant! All the stars!! I could not put this down!!
I absolutely loved this.Shalini Abeysekara has crafted a dark, thrilling romantic fantasy that’s as captivating as it is intense. The world-building, is rich, immersive, and feels alive with history and detail and full of complex characters that you can't help but become attached to. Loved both mmc and fmc (love when that happens).The romance is layered, the tension palpable, and the twists left me breathless. It’s a book that pulls you in and doesn’t let go. Absolutely amazing, and I can't recommend it enough!"