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A constellation of portals into the author’s life and world

It feels wrong to try to rate this, as the author quite literally has a death sentence hanging over her head, a tumour that may rob her of her memories, her speech, her autonomy, her very self. And so she wrote this, which is at her own insistence not a memoir: it is instead a narrative of dispatches from various parts of the individual who is now and has been Holly Dawson, a love letter of sorts to her loved ones, particularly her young sons. Told in multiple and plural viewpoints and tenses, this is a constellation of portals into Dawson’s life and world, her passions and fears, her history and her hopes: however, I felt an opacity thanks to Dawson’s multiple voices, ever circling the heart of the literary Dawson but never quite letting me in.

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Dawson’s memoir is beautifully lyrical, painting pictures of her life all the way from childhood to the present. She writes to her body, which she feels has constantly let her down, underscoring the dichotomy between her body and her mind.

She reflects on her experiences in childhood; of being a dancer and pushing her body to breaking point, the stories behind the blood that pumps through her veins and her children’s. She dissects what makes us who we are and the distinct moments in life that make themselves known in the folds in our brains.

She writes skilfully, weaving together these moments in her life for the sake of her sons. Faced with losing her memory, it’s so clear that this memoir is a love letter to sons, in the hopes they will never question who she is. At times, this was perhaps too blatant - I felt like it was intruding or reading about moments I didn’t quite grasp, they were clearly private and for the benefit of her boys. Though I enjoyed the literacy choice of writing to yourself, it was slightly disorienting and disjointed. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed this memoir and found it to be a stark reflection of the self, the body and the mind.

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All of Us Atoms is a heartfelt family memoir told through fleeting snapshots. “Half invented. All true.” Dawson writes, and you can tell that every word is felt in earnest.

Themes of nature, memory and belonging thread through stories of her own life and the lives of her family, both real and imagined. Her prose has a lyrical cadence, and although each separate chapter has its own distinct focus, there is a dreamlike, cohesive flow throughout.

Deeply personal and ringing with emotion, All of Us Atoms is a beautiful memoir of the things we hold on to.

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Upon experiencing a seizure which leads to the discovery of a brain tumour and the reality of increasing memory loss, Holly Dawson embarks upon a memoir which investigates all the personas she has adopted and discarded during her lifetime. Written as a stream of consciousness and sometimes diverging form memory into imagined past, All of Us Atoms resonates with moments of insight at a granular level. It’s a powerful read but, as the book draws closer to its conclusion, the insight is too often overtaken by emotional outpouring. As a result, the narrative loosened its grip on my imagination, the further I got into the text.

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“Half invented. All true.”
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“The mother you’ve been born to is the greatest gift of all, it hissed. But if you ever truly acknowledge that, then your mother will die”
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This is an achingly beautiful novel at time. A memory bank in which ignited within me my own melancholic tinged memories of being raised by a strong woman. A mother who would work late into the night just to be able to give me lunch, a mother that would come to collect me after being stood up or let go from a job. A mother that is a part of me. This is really a memoir of memories, of womanhood and motherhood. Of deep bonds and binds that keep us intertwined.
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It is beautiful, but in some ways it also felt a bit distant. Perhaps it was the style, but rather than fully embracing the empowering warmth it left a slight layer of coolness. The structure feels poetic but it feels like a series of fleeting snapshots that one has little time to linger on.
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I liked it very much, perhaps didn’t entirely fall in love with it, but I’m certainly glad I read it and will be keen to read more of Dawsons work.
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A huge thank you to cannongate books for giving me an advanced review copy and to netgalley for opening up my bookish world.

I hate having to give books star ratings, but with these sorts of books you’re often compelled to do so. At times it felt like a 4 star, and others 3. Either way it was a really enjoyable read and I wanted to feel perhaps a stronger emotional connection. It did flicker occasionally but the style kept me at a distance. It also felt intensely personal. Like I was reading someone’s deepest most private memories.

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This was such an emotional and insightful read unlike anything I'd ever read before. Holly Dawson's ability to grapple with and capture the true essences of life through time and generations was so beautiful and upsetting truly bringing 'you' along. Her clever and apt intertwining of the political sphere and the domestic sphere was truly insightful and the personable nature of the book was so breathtaking and phenomenal. The complexities of mental health, motherhood and the veracity of history was so eye-opening and inspiring. Such a good strong read and definitely a tearjerker by the end

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