This book is full of practical ways to lessen perfectionism in your life.

I loved that the book read like I was grabbing coffee with a friend. It felt conversational, filled with gracious encouragement and relatable stories and struggles.


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My Barnes and Noble review name is: lifebwthepages

THE COURAGE TO BE IMPERFECT: HOW TO RELEASE YOURSELF FROM UNREALISTIC
EXPECTATIONS AND START ENJOYING LIFE.
BY: ELIZABETH DANKS ROBBINS

This Non-Fiction book called, "THE COURAGE TO BE IMPERFECT," written by a compassionate and warm Woman, Wife, Mother and new Author named, ELIZABETH DANKS ROBBINS has felt like a warm hug. She shares with the reader many vulnerable and honest examples of her own life and you find yourself relating to them. I actually thought that it was repetitive which it is and normally I would deduct a star for that reason, except that it has a powerful impact. One with easy to remember that we are all trying to do the best we can with the pressure that Society puts on Women to achieve high standards which can be a good thing. What stood out to me is that she breaks down the need to place "Unrealistic Expectations," that can hinder our enjoying the more meaningful things in life like focusing less on striving to be perfect in everything we do. The ninety-nine year old individual--if we live that long is going to care less about how perfect we performed in every aspect of our hectic lives and want to have good memories of those in our inner circle who mean the most to us.

She approaches that idea from very easy to implement a paradigm shift through different perspectives that I found myself the more that I read, the more I thought that her simple methods that she shares are big takeaways that are comforting. She's honest and her intent is pure and these ideas that she introduced have a major impact. I know the ending moved me incredibly since I found that her concepts are tied up in the end to realize that the simplicity of trying to be perfect at everything I do sometimes overwhelms me to procrastinate since I expect myself to be perfect when "good enough," expectations allow you to not sometimes focus on enjoying those in your life being the most valuable reason we are here following our own paths.

She had a teenage pregnancy and experienced so much harsh criticism from those who judged her in high school to strangers in the supermarket. They were insulting when the fact of the matter is that they didn't know her to give unsolicited cruel remarks. She dropped out of High school but received her GED, and put herself through four years of college to become a nurse to provide for herself and her son. Happily in a few years she met her husband who is a kind and loving man and subsequently had two more sons which she tried to do it all. Be working full time as an Emergency Room nurse, a mother who deeply loved her children that tried to give big birthday parties when she couldn't afford it, but she wanted to be the best mom. Anybody that worked full time, tried to participate in school functions, and placed high expectations feeling like she was failing her son because she was overextended she felt guilty that she fed her son Blueberry Waffles from the toaster. She didn't feel like she was an accomplished cook and I am so empathetic with her need to finally realize that in ten years are any one of us going to care about superficial things? We're most likely not going to care about how how our homes are not magazine worthy.

She tries to impart to the reader that in ten years we aren't going to care if our kids dragged in dirt from playing outside right after we cleaned our homes spotless. We're going to remember the good memories we have for giving our children's meals, a safe environment, and clothes. Her mother and her Grandmother kept a spotless home as this resonated with me since I have a more relaxed environment if I keep a sparkling home. This is much easier to do once your kids are adults and you have less messes to keep on top of. She used to get so overwhelmed by cleaning her home that with three sons and a husband, while you're working full time is a heavy load to carry. She points out that after spending two days making her home Spic and Span it would be quickly turned into a mess. So she devised a method of setting the timer for fifteen minutes in each room getting as much done as she could. I fell on my forehead on our marble floor and my first crash of impact was my forehead. I knew that I really hurt myself since it was unbearably painful and blood filled my hand when I felt my hand touch the spot. I have a four inch gash from the stitches and a concussion and after checking it out in the hospital was fortunate that my brain wasn't bleeding. The injury could have been worse considering the point that broke the fall was my forehead and I'm very lucky.

My reason for sharing this is I had to stay off my feet and like the author I got so overwhelmed that my house was not perfect that I didn't feel motivated since I knew it would require a few days to get it immaculate again. So why did this author and I feel like because to get it looking perfect again it was easier to escape by not doing it? Nobody is perfect and her way of setting a timer for fifteen minutes per room makes a big difference because it's good enough? Doesn't her idea take the heavy duty job sound more attainable? I'm the same way about writing my reviews lately because I compare mine to those who I read that are so much better than mine. Why compare yourself to others and feel like something I put an effort into is better than not getting it done at all? The need for perfection is so self defeating when you want perfection. I didn't really realize that once you start a project you in most cases end up wanting to put more time into it. I never think mine are as well written as others, but I agree with this author's philosophy that "good enough," is better than not acting on my goals since I admire those who do so much better and enjoy reading others work with not needing to be perfect. Once I put my effort forward in motion it tends to keep moving. It's the fear of failing to meet my high standards that can keep me stuck.

"What are your perfectionist expectations? Who gave them to you? Should that person or

thing, have the power to influence how you feel about yourself? Should that person or thing
have the power to tell you how to live your life? Is that where your expectations for yourself
should come from?

As Women sometimes we take on too much because we think that we should be doing more. This author shares how much she did to find purpose that it wasn't working for her. Instead of doing meaningful work, she felt burnt out, exhausted, and underappreciated. Her valuable insight is that there is no right way to get through the day. Sometimes we find what works best is doing less.
I liked this quote from John Wooden that the author shared,: "Never mistake activity for achievement."

There of course many simple concepts like shifting your perspective, knowing there's always a critic. She emphasizes that when someone says something unkind to you the best thing to do is if that person isn't in your inner circle you can do three things: Thank them and give them a compliment. That puts the bully to have to deal with their perplexed state especially if you've been criticized unjustly. Don't get upset and you win. This she taught to her children. The second choice is to ignore it. Always consider the source but if they aren't folks you know or care about you don't need their approval so don't explain yourself. Save your explaining yourself to those you love in your inner circle. Explaining or over-explaining is something I've done lately which I'm working on to stop doing it. This is something for constructive criticism in your inner circle who you can show your vulnerability. This is something I do too much in my inner circle which it's great to communicate, but I don't want to explain since I'm feeling weary of it. There are so many heart to heart examples this wonderful author gives examples from going from a young single mom to finding self love. Don't tie your self worth to achievements. I found the last 10% to be a bit off guard when it turns to scripture.
I am a very spiritual person and since this was unexpected it was soothing more when I decided to go with it.

The last section near the end is beautifully written where she goes into a family tragedy that she suffered right before her thirteenth birthday. It's deep and powerful and she fills in the details. The way she speaks of faith and grief is so moving it is worth the high cost of this Kindle version of $18.99. It is sad but true and unflinchingly candid that I feel is going to be about pain and what's said about her grief that is unhelpful at least to her. It ties in collecting the good things that life has to offer because if you haven't experienced a huge loss yet, you will because both joy & peace are what helps us build a larger life around that grief. Don't strive for perfection or approval. The message is eloquent and what makes this book so worthwhile. It's the most profound last 20 % I have ever read in a Non-fiction book that is true, and a fresh expression of how to wake up all readers to motivate them through her description of living with grief. Yet it's unique and offers hope. I think this author has something important to say considering she isn't an English major or a Graduate student of Creative Writing, or even a psychologist, that I can't recommend this book highly enough just for the way the last 20 % is mostly going to help those who have carried a loss that never went away. It is heartbreaking but what dovetails the first 80 % to drive those words home & live in your heart forever.

Publication Date: July 1, 2025

Thank you to Net Galley, Elizabeth Danks Robbins, and Baker Books for so generously providing me with my SPECTACULAR ARC, in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own, as always.

#TheCouragetobeImperfect #ElizabethDanksRobbins #BakerBooks #NetGalley

The Courage to Be Imperfect was a very enjoyable and informative read that really resonated with me in so many ways. This book is a great reminder that God does not call us to be perfect and that the simple act of looking at life from a different perspective can make a world of difference. The author’s personal stories of her own struggles , vulnerability, advice, and encouragement just were so real and refreshing. This book was, in a way, like a breath of fresh air and a weight off of your chest to know that you are not the only person who has thought, felt, or struggled with some of these things. My favorite takeaway is that I don’t want to spend my life trying to perfect it, I want to spend my life living. Highly recommend this book! Thank you to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the ARC in return for my honest review.

The Courage to Be Imperfect is the kind of book that feels like a warm hug when you really need it. Elizabeth Danks Robbins doesn’t just talk about embracing imperfection—she gets it. In a world that’s obsessed with perfection, this book is a refreshing reminder that it’s okay to not have it all together. And honestly, it’s probably a lot better that way.

What I loved most was how real and relatable Robbins is. She doesn’t preach or tell you that you’re doing it wrong. Instead, she shows you how embracing your imperfections can actually be your superpower. It’s not about being perfect, but about accepting who you are—flaws, mistakes, and all—and realizing that’s enough.

It’s not just a self-help book; it feels like a friend having a heart-to-heart with you. It’s comforting, empowering, and made me rethink all the times I’ve been hard on myself for not living up to some unrealistic standard. If you're tired of the pressure to be perfect and just want to find peace in being yourself, this book is the breath of fresh air you need.