As a trainee counsellor I love reading books written by therapists based on real life case studies and so was immediately drawn to Affairs. The author uses various case studies of clients to explore, from a theoretical point of view why people have affairs and the result is a thoughtful and insightful exploration. The author approaches it from a non judgemental stance and I found it to be a fascinating read. Unlike with some books in this genre I wasn’t completely immersed and it did take me a while to get into the writing style which doesn’t always flow well..
Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this digital ARC.
3.5 stars

I never thought a book about affairs could be quite so dry, but here we are. I wanted this to fully immerse me into the mindset of what it takes to have affairs, the power imbalance involved and what drives people to take that risk. But I just found this to hold itself back from fully exploring these very human aspects. The psychotherapy side of the book, although I'm sure wasn't intend this way, felt judgemental and standoffish. Like a far off observer who studies affairs as a science, with a fascination that just felt wrong. Too clinical. It made me feel uncomfortable.

Not for me, but I think some people could get a lot out of this, if only to see the human factors behind the driving forces of affairs with all its ugly sides.

A very interesting book following the observations of a relationship based psychoanalyst, she hypothesises that people who have a secretive affair (where one partner is unaware) have had some sort of trauma in their childhood/ unresolved issues that make them act in certain ways in romantic relationships. She suggests that the lack of positive parental role model (can be mum / dad), may cause them to seek people like their errant parent in order to punish them in some cases, others do this to feel closer to an absentee parent and others raised without boundaries do not respect other peoples / professional boundaries too. An interesting read and would highly recommend.

Disclaimer: I received this ebook ARC from NetGalley and Pan Macmillan | Bluebird in exchange for a free and honest review

Trying to understand why people feel and do things has always been at the core of my interest in psychology, which was why this book appealed. This is not an academic text, but I approached it with my own background of studying psychology, and it’s immediately clear that the writer is a clinician. There’s an unsurprising lack of warmth in the writing, but it’s clear Rosenfield cares deeply for her patients and those she interviewed.
Psychoanalysis and Freud were the bits of psychology I always found the most fascinating to study, but I found the least applicable to real life. It was a really interesting exploration of a topic that I only have anecdotal experience of, and it was enjoyable to revisit theories I’ve previously studied in an applied setting.