Thank you to Hachette UK, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, the author and NetGalley for an DRC in return for an honest review

For a text that is aimed at youngsters 12+ I found the look of it to be very childish. I consider it very important for the younger generation to have informed discussions about sex and sexuality, but I found that this book just didn't deliver. I strongly suspect that my nephews, who are all under 12 or my son, back when he was 12, wouldn't have liked it either.

Positives: Some helpful questions are posed in the book. Such as "Do you think abstinence only will positively or negatively affect a student?". The affirmations were good and topics such as consent and boundaries were covered well and the glossary is a welcome addition.

Negatives: I don't like the layout, the language, the turn of phrase or the cartoons. A lot of the text was literally unreadable due to the colour pairing of the words and background. I have some very specific concerns as well. On page 61 there is a condom wrapper with a use by date that has already passed before publication of the book. Not very clever. I think the publishers made the wrong decision to show an illustration of a dark-skinned man with a large penis. In a book that aims to debunk myths about sex and porn, this risks reinforcing one of the oldest racial stereotypes in Western culture.

Overall I found the negatives outweighed the positives.

This book's information is based on the USA's current sex education policies, which were certainly an eye opener for me! I had to do further research after I read that there was such a vast amount of difference between states concerning this matter. I couldn't quite believe what I was reading. As someone from the UK, I find the following statistics quite shocking - There are 22 states where sex education is not federally mandated and in some states, even if schools do teach it, they can use abstinence-only or religiously biased content. To my mind, that is seriously messed up! It appears that in the US what a student learns depends heavily on where they live — some get comprehensive, inclusive lessons, while others are taught abstinence-only or receive no sex education at all! There are so many youngsters who can't learn about sex in school, it might be that they turn to porn to learn about their bodies and sex, which is clearly problematic.

Something else which is worrying is that this book is already out of date and it's not even published until 18th September! The law change in June 2022 with the overturning of Roe v. Wade has significant implications for the kind of sex education discussed in Porn Is Not Sex Ed! Individual states now set their own abortion laws. About half of U.S. states have banned or severely restricted abortion access. In many states, a pregnant teen may no longer have the legal right to choose an abortion. If the book encourages readers to “ask a trusted adult” about things like pregnancy options, but doesn’t mention abortion restrictions, that’s now incomplete or potentially misleading. In some states, adults or teachers can’t legally advise on abortion access. Schools are barred from teaching about it at all. They risk being criminalized for seeking or sharing info (especially online or across state lines). States with strict abortion laws tend to also ban or limit comprehensive sex education. This is a very worrying aspect.
This makes books like Porn Is Not Sex Ed! increasingly controversial or even banned in schools and libraries. In 2025, any sex education resource must now account for legal context — and this book, though well-meaning, is missing that crucial update.

#PornIsNotSexEd! #NetGalley

This is good, a few things to note. It doesn’t clarify that some condoms protect against pregnancy and STIs and some don’t which is a key distinction. Another element that’s missing that’s extremely important with the consent portion is handling rejection and explicitly naming the emotional and interpersonal dynamics that make open communication about what you do and don’t want with respect to sex difficult. I would appreciate a flowchart or question bank about “responding to rejection” that acknowledges the feelings that may come up and helps a person work through them in a healthy way, so they don’t respond explosively or by pressuring/humiliating the other person. Relatedly, expanding the section on boundaries and emotions- what kinds of reactions might a person have to setting boundaries? (Anger, sadness, moping, pressure) What do you do when someone you care about gets angry about a boundary you set, or tells you you’ve made them feel unwanted and sad?

Overall, I’d say this had the potential to be a good resource but missed the mark on a few things. I expect a sex education book to be factual, but there is a lot of gender ideology and queer theory in it. Also a fair amount of political statistics which don’t need to be included. Another potentially excellent book brought down by nonsensical ideology.

A book that I think we all needed when we were younger. I liked the tone throughout the book and throughout loved the reiteration of all genitals/fantasies.etc being normal. I’m a 27 year old woman and I leant something! I had no idea it was as recent as 1998 when scientists discovered the whole structure of the clitoris.
This book debunks myths and is both educative and inviting. The use of normal language, cartoon like pictures and colour make it an easy reading experience. It is not daunting like some sexual education books I read when I was younger. Most importantly the book was inclusive. I truly believe this book provides education for all and does not have a heteronormative focus.

It’s really educational, to be honest this was my first time reading a non fiction book, that is also educational. It was a good experience! :)

Sorry but I can't recommend this. I seem to be going against the grain but for me this effectively normalises porn and gives highly inappropriate instruction for the age group.

This book is a fantastic guide for both parents and older kids on sex education. Melendez covers many different aspects of sexuality, including biological structures, peoples behaviors and interests as well as consent.

This book can serve as a resource for parents who need some guidance on what topics to discuss with their kids. Melendez includes a workbook element to it, where the kids can write down their own thoughts and feelings, serving to empower them. This gives kids a chance to express themselves and think through things away from their adult. Sex education tends to be embarrassing, especially when it’s an adult telling you about it - this book gives information and then urges the kids to go to a trusted adult about any questions or feelings they have about it.

Thank you so much to the publisher and NetGalley for giving me and Arc of this book.

I absolutely loved this. I am a child and adolescent therapist and I think this is a wonderful resource because this is a more frequent conversation I am having with my clients families. One of the things I love most about this book is how normalizing it is, there are interactive pages, games, journaling prompts, assessments, questionnaires, and it's so engaging.

The blurb says it all and whilst designed to read on your own I wouldn't discourage teenagers reading it with a trusted friend or friends.

A useful tool for the teens of today with easy tools and handy tips to help navigate their evolving sexual selves. It's also a useful tool for parents/guardians of teens who want to encourage open dialogue about healthy and safe experiences and relationships.

It's factual, to the point and keeps it simple without skimping on details.

This should have a place in secondary school libraries alongside the series of books by Melissa Kang and Yumi Stynes. I'm sure there are plenty more as well that would aid school PSHE classes.

The only element that I would change is when it's published outside of America, in the UK for example, is that it uses the statistics relevant to that country. In my opinion it would make it more relatable. Perhaps add some in if it can't be changed when publishing.

I think this book is great for teens but maybe have parents read it with them. There was times I felt it talked down or was judgemental about things instead of just talking about the fact the reason I lowered it. The facts it did give however was accurate and informative. It also gave me things to talk to my teen about that inhadnt thought about because techinoigly and things have changed since I was a kid

I enjoyed this book. As someone who grew up in a strict religious household where sex was rarely discussed, I didn’t learn much about sexual health or identity until I moved out and studied gender and sexuality in college. I truly wish I had access to a book like this when I was younger.

One of the things I appreciated most was the sex-positive language throughout. The use of the term trusted adult instead of parent was especially thoughtful. It acknowledges that not everyone feels safe or comfortable talking to their parents, and it creates space for a broader support system.

I also found the safer sex checklist incredibly helpful. It encourages readers to check in with themselves and communicate clearly, which is so important when it comes to making informed and respectful choices about sex. The resources around STI testing were another highlight—clear, accessible, and non-judgmental.

There were just a few areas where I think the book could be improved. The repeated use of “your trusted adult” at the beginning of each chapter felt a little awkward. Saying “a trusted adult” might sound more natural and inclusive. I also felt that the “this chapter discusses...” phrasing in each chapter’s introduction became a bit repetitive. A heading like “Objective” or “Goal” followed by a direct statement could streamline this and improve the flow.

Overall, this was a thoughtful and empowering read. It fills a major gap in sexual education and offers information in a way that is both inclusive and approachable. I’ll definitely be recommending it.

Thank you to NetGalley and Hachette UK/Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the ARC. This is my unbiased review:

Overall rating: 3.75 stars

As a Certified Sex Therapist and sexuality educator, I get asked about porn a lot. Adults wonder if their viewing habits are healthy. Spouses wonder if their partner is damaging the relationship by consuming erotica. My students worry about performers and whether or not the adult industry contributes to a culture of exploitation. And parents worry about just about EVERYTHING when it comes to porn and their kids.

Jessica Melendez takes a unique approach to addressing these concerns, by creating a sex ed resource designed for young people. Porn Is Not Sex Ed! is a friendly, accessible, and inclusive point of entry into this delicate conversation. Melendez tackles a number of issues, from body diversity to the Male Gaze with a candor and kindness that stands out from the crowd.

This book is quite thorough in the topics covered, but I do wish that more care was paid to some topics. As mentioned above, the Male Gaze is explored- but never really properly defined. I would have liked to see an operant definition included in the glossary, for example. Another topic that stood out to me was the discussion of fetishization. Melendez tackles this with nuance and offers a great decision tree to help her readers understand if they are experiencing attraction or objectification. But she never defines what a fetish is, or explains that the reader may encounter the term in consensual, enjoyable contexts as well. That is not to say that a book geared for middle schoolers should tackle BDSM. But if you’re going to introduce one use of the term? Then the other should be acknowledged as well, if only to eliminate confusion and reduce kink-stigma.

Overall, I feel like Porn Is Not Sex Ed! was both surprisingly thorough for the length (less than 100 richly illustrated pages) but also lacking some important details. A page or two reflecting on the content of porn, and some statistics about normative diversity in that area, could have been validating for many readers without being overtly explicit. In general, I think that this is an excellent conversation-starter resource and look forward to recommending it to clients (both parenting and not) and students alike

This is a useful sex education book for young people which helps sort through facts and myths. I had expected porn to be just one of many topics covered, but every section links back to myths which come from porn. This may seem odd, but when there is not adequate sex education, porn may be the main source of information some young people have access to, either directly or through conversations with friends.

Thank you to Net Galley for the ARC of this book. I think this book should be used as a teaching tool for all sex education classes. As a parent of older teens and young adults, I wish this book had been around when my children were younger. Not only does it provide information about porn, it also provides detailed anatomy, including the clitoris, and the proper language. It talks about sexual identity, consent, and masturbation in a way that does not shame the reader, and I love that. I will be buying this book for my kids (even though they are older) and for other young people in my life.

In my community, sex education is almost a taboo subject. It's almost rare for people to talk about it. And one of the topics related to sex, of course, is porn. I found this book helpful for young people, who really should be taught about sex as preparation for adulthood, rather than having it treated as something to be avoided or ignored. This book is very engaging and interactive. There are several questions you can answer, especially with the support of a trusted adult. I’m only giving it 4 stars because sometimes the text is a bit too small and hard to read, and it feels like something is still missing. Plus, a few other personal reasons. I also wanted more!

This was a very good and important book, a lot of things that younger people need to learn, very informative

While this is super informative, I feel like this may be a tricky title for schools combatting a lot of parental oversight. Would definitely recommend for public library setting.

A vital, modern-day reminder that porn should never be treated as a blueprint for sex or relationships. Jessica Melendez brings much-needed clarity and compassion to topics like consent, sexual health, and communication.

This book has serious potential to become a valuable tool—especially for younger audiences. A promising, necessary guide that deserves a second look.

This is a really inclusive, helpful resource for young folks who are curious about sex. It emphasizes that porn is fiction, but sex is a real act with real thing to consider before, during, and after. I think it does a great job of being accessible and talking to young kids at a level that treats them with respect and doesn't treat them like they're too immature to learn. Sexual content is everywhere, more so now than ever, and it's important to have these discussions to foster a sense of trust and instill the ability to find out the facts for themselves.

All in all, this is a really useful resource! I love the activities and reflective questions, as it gets the reader way more involved.

Thank you to NetGalley and the author for providing me with a free eARC in exchange for an honest review.

I think some older people should read this book, too. But I feel like there wasn't enough porn criticism besides male gaze. I was dissapointed this book only covered condoms as a way to have a safer sex. I wish i had been said that some porn stars get labia surgery. By no means I'm a sex education expert, but, that's just my impression, some topics were for slightly older kids. At the same time, the language is really simplified, I got a feeling sometimes too simplified. There were also a lot of activities like crosswords or quizes, I like that.