I think this book is great for teens but maybe have parents read it with them. There was times I felt it talked down or was judgemental about things instead of just talking about the fact the reason I lowered it. The facts it did give however was accurate and informative. It also gave me things to talk to my teen about that inhadnt thought about because techinoigly and things have changed since I was a kid

I enjoyed this book. As someone who grew up in a strict religious household where sex was rarely discussed, I didn’t learn much about sexual health or identity until I moved out and studied gender and sexuality in college. I truly wish I had access to a book like this when I was younger.

One of the things I appreciated most was the sex-positive language throughout. The use of the term trusted adult instead of parent was especially thoughtful. It acknowledges that not everyone feels safe or comfortable talking to their parents, and it creates space for a broader support system.

I also found the safer sex checklist incredibly helpful. It encourages readers to check in with themselves and communicate clearly, which is so important when it comes to making informed and respectful choices about sex. The resources around STI testing were another highlight—clear, accessible, and non-judgmental.

There were just a few areas where I think the book could be improved. The repeated use of “your trusted adult” at the beginning of each chapter felt a little awkward. Saying “a trusted adult” might sound more natural and inclusive. I also felt that the “this chapter discusses...” phrasing in each chapter’s introduction became a bit repetitive. A heading like “Objective” or “Goal” followed by a direct statement could streamline this and improve the flow.

Overall, this was a thoughtful and empowering read. It fills a major gap in sexual education and offers information in a way that is both inclusive and approachable. I’ll definitely be recommending it.

Thank you to NetGalley and Hachette UK/Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the ARC. This is my unbiased review:

Overall rating: 3.75 stars

As a Certified Sex Therapist and sexuality educator, I get asked about porn a lot. Adults wonder if their viewing habits are healthy. Spouses wonder if their partner is damaging the relationship by consuming erotica. My students worry about performers and whether or not the adult industry contributes to a culture of exploitation. And parents worry about just about EVERYTHING when it comes to porn and their kids.

Jessica Melendez takes a unique approach to addressing these concerns, by creating a sex ed resource designed for young people. Porn Is Not Sex Ed! is a friendly, accessible, and inclusive point of entry into this delicate conversation. Melendez tackles a number of issues, from body diversity to the Male Gaze with a candor and kindness that stands out from the crowd.

This book is quite thorough in the topics covered, but I do wish that more care was paid to some topics. As mentioned above, the Male Gaze is explored- but never really properly defined. I would have liked to see an operant definition included in the glossary, for example. Another topic that stood out to me was the discussion of fetishization. Melendez tackles this with nuance and offers a great decision tree to help her readers understand if they are experiencing attraction or objectification. But she never defines what a fetish is, or explains that the reader may encounter the term in consensual, enjoyable contexts as well. That is not to say that a book geared for middle schoolers should tackle BDSM. But if you’re going to introduce one use of the term? Then the other should be acknowledged as well, if only to eliminate confusion and reduce kink-stigma.

Overall, I feel like Porn Is Not Sex Ed! was both surprisingly thorough for the length (less than 100 richly illustrated pages) but also lacking some important details. A page or two reflecting on the content of porn, and some statistics about normative diversity in that area, could have been validating for many readers without being overtly explicit. In general, I think that this is an excellent conversation-starter resource and look forward to recommending it to clients (both parenting and not) and students alike

This is a useful sex education book for young people which helps sort through facts and myths. I had expected porn to be just one of many topics covered, but every section links back to myths which come from porn. This may seem odd, but when there is not adequate sex education, porn may be the main source of information some young people have access to, either directly or through conversations with friends.

Thank you to Net Galley for the ARC of this book. I think this book should be used as a teaching tool for all sex education classes. As a parent of older teens and young adults, I wish this book had been around when my children were younger. Not only does it provide information about porn, it also provides detailed anatomy, including the clitoris, and the proper language. It talks about sexual identity, consent, and masturbation in a way that does not shame the reader, and I love that. I will be buying this book for my kids (even though they are older) and for other young people in my life.

In my community, sex education is almost a taboo subject. It's almost rare for people to talk about it. And one of the topics related to sex, of course, is porn. I found this book helpful for young people, who really should be taught about sex as preparation for adulthood, rather than having it treated as something to be avoided or ignored. This book is very engaging and interactive. There are several questions you can answer, especially with the support of a trusted adult. I’m only giving it 4 stars because sometimes the text is a bit too small and hard to read, and it feels like something is still missing. Plus, a few other personal reasons. I also wanted more!

This was a very good and important book, a lot of things that younger people need to learn, very informative

While this is super informative, I feel like this may be a tricky title for schools combatting a lot of parental oversight. Would definitely recommend for public library setting.

A vital, modern-day reminder that porn should never be treated as a blueprint for sex or relationships. Jessica Melendez brings much-needed clarity and compassion to topics like consent, sexual health, and communication.

This book has serious potential to become a valuable tool—especially for younger audiences. A promising, necessary guide that deserves a second look.

This is a really inclusive, helpful resource for young folks who are curious about sex. It emphasizes that porn is fiction, but sex is a real act with real thing to consider before, during, and after. I think it does a great job of being accessible and talking to young kids at a level that treats them with respect and doesn't treat them like they're too immature to learn. Sexual content is everywhere, more so now than ever, and it's important to have these discussions to foster a sense of trust and instill the ability to find out the facts for themselves.

All in all, this is a really useful resource! I love the activities and reflective questions, as it gets the reader way more involved.

Thank you to NetGalley and the author for providing me with a free eARC in exchange for an honest review.

I think some older people should read this book, too. But I feel like there wasn't enough porn criticism besides male gaze. I was dissapointed this book only covered condoms as a way to have a safer sex. I wish i had been said that some porn stars get labia surgery. By no means I'm a sex education expert, but, that's just my impression, some topics were for slightly older kids. At the same time, the language is really simplified, I got a feeling sometimes too simplified. There were also a lot of activities like crosswords or quizes, I like that.

this book explores super important topics for children and young adults. i loved how this book was designed and how readable it was. it really broke down these challenging topics, and allowed for times of reflection and opportunity to discuss with a trusted adult. consent and sexual education is crucial especially for young people since the internet is so accessible and difficult to navigate and control.

a few complaints that i have would be the lack of diversity in female genitalia (although there were drawings shown which i did appreciate!), it mentioned how size of men’s penis’ are larger, and not that women are shown to have little to not inner labia. (they often get surgery to remove their inner labias for porn.) i’d also like to say there is no certainty that that actors discuss STI status, although they’re required to get tested, they still develop infections often. there is also no definitive proof if any given actor actually consented for the film. many actors also aren’t told if the scene will become violent or aggressive, and all the sex trafficking involved in the industry is a huge issue. i also would have liked to see mention of the dangers of overusing pornography, and also that porn is a huge catalyst for grooming and abuse. i would have liked to see mention of children being aware of why and who is showing them what.
everything else was pretty well executed. i do understand the author probably tried to keep things as simplified as possible for children to digest. i think it’s a wonderful opener for such a complex and prevalent issue in our society. overall a decent conversation starter for teens and their parents.

thank you netgalley and to the author for allowing me to read and review this book.

A useful starting point for teens to explore sex education which includes excellent points on the cautions surrounding the scripted nature of the industry. The workbook format is great and really helps to prompt thought and can be used as discussion points. The book is aimed at an US audience so this would need to be considered when reading aspects relevant to location, however, the majority of the book would be valuable to teens all over the world. This is a much needed book considering the easily available access to pornography. The book is a good starting point for sex education though more detail maybe needed later on. I was impressed by the diversity of conversation within the book and the range of aspects covered by it, though some areas could have included a bit more information. I would definitely recommend for parents and teens alike.

This book is a great informational tool for any parent or guardian to share with their children. I love how at the beginning of each chapter, it tells you to discuss with an adult what they learned and if they have any questions they’re dying to have answered. The imagery was okay, but engaging enough.

I grew up in a very conservative home with absolutely no sex education. Anytime I have the chance to support resources aimed at this type of education I will support them in any way that I can. This little book did an amazing job of not only talking about sex and bodies, but also consent, inclusion and pornography in a way that was accessible and safe.

I like the idea of a book for middle grade explaining porn. But, if the idea is good the realization here totally missed the spot.

From the very first page, It starts saying that people feel embarrassed to speak about sex because we don't get it and feel the need to be an expert... and then said ok we're here to speak about porn.
Porn isn't sex. It seems to be the main topic of the book but here the approach is already wrong.

What should be normalized here first of all is discussion about sex even before porn comes around to mess up with what you know (or should know). Lack of communication around sex is problematic. Bad ethics in porn industry is problematic. Objectization and hyper sexualization is problematic. Rape culture is problematic. Lack of representations in sex-ed is problematic (queer). Porn per se isn't the issue. Lack of communication about anything remotely close to sex (outside of reproductive purpose) is the massive issue.

I like the interactive and comics strip parts. The form. Not so much the content unfortunately.

Another point that bothered me is speaking of evolution of sexualization in medias based on the way we access it. It is only partially true and lack of relevance if the evolution of moeurs and the explanation of how things are differently approached, accepted or shamed depends of era, beliefs and location.

I'm totally against a binary approach of sex. Not in terms of genders (though gender binary is also an issue here) but in term of either you have sex or not. It's not black and white. It's a full spectrum and there's way more between having sex and not having sex at all.

The definition and explanation about consent is a bit reductive for my tastes. It's not just giving permission. It's setting rules and defining what are the limits for every participant, where you are comfortable and when you are not anymore. Either for watching porn, having whatever sort of sex or just in term of relationship. It's also how to deal when people (most of them whatever how they identify but mostly men in our actual society) don't do thing the right way, how to be sure of your own decision, how not be manipulated or see your comfort and understanding of a sexual situation diminished and so on. How to seek your pleasure and say it when it doesn't work for you even if it bruises male ego.

The book seems to be middle grade target, it means 8-13 years old, right ? But the language is sometimes too childish to explain a concept and sometimes totally out of the age target by being too mature.

Also, speaking about gender stereotypes but including the only male-female without including the non cis "nuances" (non binary, trans,two spirits...) is tricky and biased. I mean, there is a mention that there are more genders but added as an afterthought, not better than a footnote.

The definition of male gaze is wrong for so many reasons that I won't detailed. It's simplist even for kids and unfortunately stereotypical and partially wrong.

The writer seems to have a vision, let's say, idolized of porn or maybe outdated. That's not really helpful at the end. I get it that you cannot (or don't want) to speak about certain aspects of porn and sexuality with teens but the fact is they are already exposed to it and not discussing it properly is THE issue.

Totally canceling (or diabolizing it) porn is also the best way to push them to take a look at it and take recommendation where they shouldn't. All kind of porn isn't sex-ed, yes, but all porns aren't bad. Now, there is a lot of ethical studios creating ethical porn for the last few years and more safe, consent friendly and diversity approached. Is still not sex ed, yes. But it's something that should be explained to be sure they access the right content if they are curious (and they will).

The asexuality part is so reductive and false. Wanted to include queer and Ace spectrum without deeper knowledge than the basic definition of Asexual in the dico is a really bad thing. It sounds like a queer washing after thought (again). And it's false and non inclusive information. Or at least not relevant enough. Sex can be an interest for asexual too (demisexual to mentioned just one). Just saying that sex isn't an interest for asexual, at all, is plain wrong. It's a spectrum there is so much more to add to this.

Except for one or two "after thoughts", few words here and there (really so little for something about this topics) the 2SLGBTQIA+ are totally forgotten. It's men and women dynamics, cishet.

Overall, it's a very cis white American way of doing sex ed and "explaining " porn and the difference between both. As a queer woman and sensitivity reader, I cannot recommend this at all.

I'm aware that I received it as an Advanced reader copy and that the content might not be totally definitive. But I can see the need for at least 20 more pages to includes the 2SLGBTQIA+ pov, ethical porn and more and correct half of what I read. I hope it's a really early draft.

A great way to make your teen (or anyone you know struggling with porn use/understanding) to feel awkward but informed.

A bit wordy for the average teen in some spots. It would be a good resource for a health class teacher. There are built in activity pages per topic.

This has some good advice and information, but it is best suited as a book for parents for times when they need to talk about porn and sex with their children and educate them.
It does not talk about the negative experiences around porn in much detail.
Though, the rest is very informative and insightful.

The book is advertized as debunking myths around sexuality, specifically around pornography - instead it felt much more like general, very basic sex education, with some added information about porn.

However, the inforation about porn seemed very idealized. There was no real criticism of porn or the industry (other than talking about male gaze) which, in a book that supposedly is all about porn, felt like an oversight? At the same time, I can also see why you wouldn't want to discuss the ethics and issues of the porn industry in a kid's book.

Speaking of this being for kids - I am not entirely sure of target group. A lot of the language and overall design of the book leads me to believe it's meant for a younger audience (maybe young teens/middel grade?) but then the topics are slightly older, particularly in terms of media literacy and some of the words and topics that are assumed to already be known? But then, that's just my impression, I am in no way involved in or knowledgeable about education or working with kids, so I may be completely wrong.

I was also confused about what the book chose to include and what it didn't. It spent quite a while establishing very basic things, or, for example, there were a lot of details on safer sex, particularly barrier methods, but barely mentioned any other methods or birth control? So it was far from a comprehensive sex ed book.

My favourite part about the book was how it encourages the reader to think critically. It introduces concepts like media literacy, the male gaze, fetishiation, rape culture, and more, and constantly encourages the reader to ask questions about everything. This also extended to conversations about boundaries, and encourages the reader to think inward and about their own values and what they are comfortable with.
In this area, there were a lot of interactive parts, both puzzles, riddles, but also open writing or thinking prompts.

Lastly, I found the font a bit too small, I had to zoom in a lot to read comfortably. While I liked the casual inclusion of queerness, I was disappointed to find that when asexuality is mentioned, it is equated with never wanting sex at all, which is just plain wrong.

I read an ARC, and there were some parts that seemed clearly unfinished (like a missing headline, and some parts where highlighted) so I assume there are still changes to be done with the book.

I received this ARC from Netgalley in exchange for an unbiased review. Thank you to the publisher for sending this to me.

It is clear the author put a lot of thought into this book, and it paid off. The structure flowed seamlessly, which helped capture the broader range of sex ed information you wouldn't usually get. I found it very informative and thought-provoking, all the while fun with the suggested activities.

If you have a child who will be joining high school soon, this book provides a great way to open the conversation with them about sex and porn.