Do Ask Do Tell: Queer Life, Love and Culture Laid Bare by Lotte Jeffs and Stu Oakley is a book that is very much one that does exactly what it says on the cover.

Lotte and Stuart are both members of the LGBTQIA community who realised after time out together, that there is still so much of the community both they and others may not know about. Whether it be generational things or simply a nuance that is commonly known in one area of the community and not in the other. The LGBTQIA community is both one and several after all and things don’t transfer over in terminology or necessity (and many other reasons.)

Through their initial conversations together, the two begin to interview friends and other members of the community to gain answers to varied amounts of questions that are relevant to many but may struggle on the where and the who to ask. I found the book to be one that is easy to engage with, and the way the interviews are relayed is informal and I liked how the person and setting is described so you as the reader could be sitting down with either Lotte or Stu as they talk.

You will learn all that you need to from the information they both bring to the book, whether it’s terminology for the types of lesbians or gay men there are out there or perhaps the ongoing issues with mental and emotional conflict many LGBTQIA members face between their place in their religion and who they are in regards to gender or sexual preference. As I say, there are many issues discussed and each is treated the same with the respect they deserve both to educate and be inclusive to all who pick up the book. We all have to begin somewhere when we begin our journey out of the closet so to speak (and sometimes when we step out again as many also do.)

I was particularly interested in the areas that cover being disabled and Queer in some form or another as that’s been as issue I’ve experienced in the last decade and how both media and the community welcome those who are disabled in one form or another, Members of the LGBTQIA community still don’t as a whole welcome and support disabled people and this, along with other books out there really highlight how far we have to go still.

This is an excellent read, and I am so glad to see books like this out there which will help a person feel they can further explore who and what they are, and also shed off some of the outdated stereotypes of certain aspects of being LGBTQIA.

Do Ask, Do Tell is a vibrant, witty, and compassionate deep dive into queer life. Lotte Jeffs and Stu Oakley bring curiosity and warmth to every topic, creating a guide that’s both enlightening and empowering. Perfect for anyone eager to learn, laugh, and celebrate the glorious spectrum of queer experiences.