In 2018, Grace Spence Green was involved in a life changing incident which saw her catapulted from being a 22 year old medical student to a spinal chord injured patient coming to terms with life in a wheelchair.
The account is moving ,inspiring and challenging in equal measures. As a person with an acquired disability myself the societal barriers facing disabled people highlighted in this book are sadly all too relatable. Similarly the medical approach to disability focusing predominantly on rehabilitation was highlighted to good effect with all its deficits. I have spent many years advocating for re-configuration rather than rehabilitation as a far more appropriate approach to supporting disabled people and this book certainly aligns with this viewpoint.
I feel the book will serve as a useful challenge to the medical profession and a source of comfort to those fighting similar battles as they navigate through a system determined to make disabled people fit their own agendas.
I am grateful to the publishers and NetGalley for an advanced listener copy of this audiobook which is narrated by the author herself.

I’ll preface this review by saying that this book had my attention right from the cover. I am disabled from a spinal injury, and before even starting the book, I saw representation and a provocative title - To Exist As I Am. This immediately conjured thoughts that pass through my mind on a regular basis - How does someone adapt to exist as a disabled person? Dr Grace Spence Green addresses this perfectly in this book.

Through this book, the reader (or listener in my case!) can follow Grace’s lived experience, from the accident which caused her to become disabled, the gruelling rehabilitation process (told in an adaptation of diary entries which, somehow, even in the face of the circumstances, include unexpected humour), to life outside of hospitals, returning to her medical studies, and to continued thoughts about life with a disability. Although my own injury didn’t result in paralysis, my mobility is severely impacted, and I suffer from chronic, constant pain. So much of Grace’s words and thoughts about living as a disabled person were echoes of my own thoughts - particularly in relation to the way that others perceive you, and how their words and actions come from a good place, but can often be a source of frustration to the person who is disabled. Crucial discussions are had about the lack of representation and accessibility, and Grace does not pull punches in regards to her (very valid) thoughts about these.

I would thoroughly recommend that, for those so inclined, you listen to the audiobook of this title, as Grace’s thoughts and anecdotes are perfectly delivered when read by the author herself. Her stoic articulation of extremely difficult circumstances and realisations are given additional power by being spoken by the author. Throughout, Grace’s incredible strength and resilience is evident both in her words and voice.

Who is this book for? I would highly recommend it to both disabled and able bodied readers. Grace describes how, when first faced with her as a disabled person, many people struggled as to how to react, how to speak to her, and were unsure how to articulate their feelings. However, with repeated exposure to a person with disabilities, this lessens. Through reading this book, one can almost feel as if you are in this situation-learning how to interact with a disabled person, stripping away the thought of them as disabled, and seeing the person - that you have always known - as who they are - they are not defined by disability, it does not override their personality or qualities. Even as a disabled person myself, I learned a great deal from listening to Grace’s story and felt empowered by hearing thoughts similar to mine - often thoughts which I might have written off as selfish, or unfair, which I have not had the courage to articulate myself.

Visibility and representation of disabled people is extremely important, and in this book, Grace does great service to both. The book chronicles an incredible journey of recovery (although I’m not sure Grace would appreciate the use of this word) and adaptation, gripping the reader throughout with powerful anecdotes which range from highly emotional to utterly hilarious.