Meg Josephson’s Are You Mad at Me? is a thoughtful and accessible guide to breaking free from people-pleasing and constant self-doubt. With clarity and warmth, Josephson explains how the fear of others’ opinions can shape our choices and undermine our confidence. The book combines personal insight with practical strategies, making it easy to follow and apply in daily life. What stands out is the gentle encouragement to set boundaries and focus on self-acceptance. It’s a supportive and relatable read for anyone looking to worry less about approval and live more authentically.

For quite a short book, this took me a while to read as there was lots to digest and take action on. If the title speaks to you, it's very likely this book is for you. The author explains the urge to "fawn" or people please in a way that makes you feel that you are not alone, pulling personal examples from her own life and reinforcing that she has seen this in professional practice. There are practical tips on how to change these patterns, and it ends on a reassuring note that we are all only human and it takes a while to recognise and change behaviours that we want to change. Highly recommend.

I usually avoid self help books and think this is the first one I have ever read. I was attracted to it because i am a people pleaser and i wanted to do something about it. The author does an excellent job of explaining the 'fawning response' to conflict and this was something I immediately recognised in myself. She also explains why it comes about in someone and this I found difficult to read as it forced me to reexamone relationships with my mother in particular. Recently I have become more assertive and perhaps this is why I decided to read this book., to see if I'm on the right path. Glad to say I think I am but there's still a way to go.

The book itself is easy to read and I would recommend it to anyone who feels they are too much of a people pleaser. Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

I thought this book was great! The fawn response has always been little-known so books like this are super important in educating people about it.

It reiterated a lot of things I have recently learnt in therapy, helped me link things I hadn't considered before, and really motivated me to keep doing the work.

There are reflection questions at the end of every chapter which were great for instilling each chapter's message and considering how those things show up in your life. One chapter is also full of useful techniques (not just mindfulness/meditation but genuinely useful techniques).

I related so much to so many very specific aspects of this book, but it never felt repetitive or unnecessary for me reading it - it always felt like the book was showing me a new perspective.

I would really recommend this especially to women, but to anyone prone to people-pleasing.

Thank you NetGalley for my advance copy, all opinions are my own.

If you’re a people pleaser who finds themselves sublimating you’re own needs to those of others, and then feeling resentment, this is definitely the book for you.
Josephson speaks directly to us ‘fawners’ about why we do this, what’s in it for us, and how we can choose other strategies such as setting boundaries and adding ‘no’ to the vocabulary.
This is written in a very readable way and I’d thoroughly recommend it.

Are You Mad at Me? has officially arrived and just LOOK at this adorable matching tote bag 😍👜✨

As someone who struggles with anxiety and constant catastrophising, this book already feels like a comforting hand on the shoulder.

The title alone? Relatable.

Meg Josephson writes with such honesty about people-pleasing, self-doubt, and the desperate need for reassurance, things I know all too well 💭💬

If you’ve ever overanalysed a message, replayed a chat 300 times in your head, or quietly panicked over silence... this one is for you 🧠💛

Read more at The Secret Book Review.

I don’t think I have ever read a book that is so relevant to me. It made me realise a lot of things and also validated a journey I started on some time ago. This gives me the strength to continue to make changes in my life and maintain boundaries where they are useful to me. I am sure I will refer to this book again and again when I need a top up. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.

I don’t know, maybe this is just me given the other reviews are good - then again, maybe much of the other reviews have been driven by the author’s social media following (my bad, I wasn’t aware of that when I requested the book). For me, this book felt very light and pop-psych, filled with a lot of platitudes. Maybe others will find it useful.

I don't think I've ever felt so _seen_ by a book! I found myself wanting to highlight at least one thing on more or less every page! Not only does Josephson explain what the fawn response is and the reasons why it becomes such a large part of our way of life, but she gives a plethora of real-world examples, as well as practical advice to try to overcome the need to fawn. Even in the two days since finishing the book I have found myself being more aware of when my responses to things are coming from a place of trauma, even if I'm not yet able to stop myself asking my partner if he's mad at me! I can see myself going back to this book again and again.

An interesting and well done book that looks at the fourth mode of dealing with threat / trauma - fight, flight, freeze and FAWN and how fawners can regard themselves with compassion and live more authentically with compassion for others and clear boundaries. Lots of examples from the author and blended examples from her clients help to make the theory practical and there are lots of useful ideas here.

I loved this book. I highlighted so much of it for future reference and felt like it could’ve been written for me. I was really excited to be approved for an advanced reader copy because it just felt like something I would be able to relate to and I wasn’t disappointed at all. The structure of the book is brilliant, the inclusion of case studies is perfect, and it made me feel human. It made me feel like there’s hope, that there’s a way to shift perspective and gave me tools to do just that. Though there wasn’t anything particularly new in there, there is so much to take away from the book. I loved the reflective questions at the end of each chapter and the small quotes that were almost like affirmations throughout. I would highly recommend this book!

I wish 18 year old me could have read this!

Are you mad at me mostly focuses on the 4th trauma response, Fawn.

It goes into detail, in a casual friendly way, into why we do this, and why it could be affecting us negatively.

I think for people who are people pleasers to a fault like me, it’s a recommended read, as I had a few moments where I realised, it wasn’t just me!

An excellent book explaining and describing the, “fawning” response. No, I’d never heard of it but it resonated with me. Highly recommended

Are you mad at me?
Most people have heard of the flight, fight or freeze responses, but I had only heard of the fourth type fawning a couple of years ago. This book looks predominantly at the fawning response, how it manifests and how to heal that.
This is a book I really wished I had in my hands a couple of years ago, it is validating and helpful. This is a bit hard for me to review in a way as this is quite a personal theme for me and I've had to do ALOT of work to mentally get to where I am today. This book will be helpful to many.
Drawing from her own personal experiences and those as a psychotherapist Meg Josephson gives the reader a detailed, informative authentic read. Lots of examples/case studies, an understanding of the four responses, stress and the impact on body and mind, helpful strategies and healing tips all backed up by theory and science.
I liked the authors clear informative writing style and will be looking forward to future releases. Would definitely recommend. Thank you Meg Josephson, Random House UK, Vintage publishers and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review. (Also posted to Goodreads).

An accessible, informative and engaging book about fawning and people pleasing.

Written in an approachable, conversational style, Are You Mad At Me? offers tips, tools and anecdotes to help understand the roots of people pleasing as well as ways in which to heal from this.

I felt the fact that Josephson herself is a people pleaser added to authenticity of the book and I related strongly to a lot of the stories and behaviours mentioned. I’ve taken a lot away from this book and would highly recommend it.

Thanks to Random House UK, Vintage | Square Peg and NetGalley for the ARC.

I found this book so helpful and it is one I will reread again. Recommend foe anyone in a similar situation

Thank you for this book.

I have life long PTSD and trauma and this book has helped me understand my issues a lot.

It is a book I will keep on hand and will be buying a physical copy.

I’m not being dramatic when I say this book changed my life.

I’m having trauma based therapy currently and requested this book as the synopsis ran alongside some of the same topics and theories I’ve been working on in therapy. Every week I seem to have turned up with another quote, theory or process to put in practice at therapy.

This book has honestly done wonders for me without getting too deep into my own personal traumas it has helped to give me so many coping mechanisms, structure, finding easiness where once things were hard and a greater understanding of both myself and others. I’ve highlighted whole paragraphs to share with my partner to help him understand my background and why I behave in certain ways.

Highly recommended to absolutely everyone

If you've read any of my other recent book reviews, you'll already know that I start them all off by saying the same thing - that every book starts off with the full load of 5 stars and I'm always hopeful that they will all be stuck firmly in place. You'll also know that I'm not shy about removing stars but that I always give my reasons within the review, they don't just disappear.

I'm definitely a people pleaser/fawner - will this book help me to overcome it?? It's one of the longer books that I've read so far but I'm not gonna rush through it, it takes as long as it takes and I hope it'll open my eyes and maybe help me to learn to look out for me a bit more than I have done so far in my life... right now that feels selfish and other people always come first and I'm always last, but that's not right so I'm hoping that this book will help me to find a better, more rounded personality and make me less of a pushover/be able to say "no" occasionally.

I was approved by the publisher to receive, read and review an ARC of this book, about 6 weeks before publication and I can't wait to get started!

There's a little box at the start of the book saying that it's an uncorrected proof, which is good to know and I won't mark down any spelling mistakes or errors in the alignment or whatever, I'll just assume that they will be corrected by the time the book is released.

Wowsers! It feels like the author has climbed into my body and put everything I think and feel into black and white... I finally feel understood!

I'm 10% of the way through and I'm totally gobsmacked that my responses to pretty much everything has a name and that I'm not the only person to be feeling and doing this!

There have been a couple of trademarks used (at least I *think* they're trademarks) and I'm not sure about the legalities of usage of trademarks in non-fiction so I reckon I'll leave the star on and keep my fingers crossed that it's the right decision on my part.

One of the points at the end of the "Caretaker" points has hit the nail squarely on the head for me, even now as a 47 year old! It says "Other people's needs are more important than my own" and that is exactly how I've felt my entire life!

Ooh! The NICER idea has struck a chord with me... I just need to remember what each of the letters stand for lol

I'm up to 50% now and I feel heard for the first time in my life... I feel like someone has reached inside me and gone "yep, a definite fawner here!"

At 60% and stopping for lunch... this book, so far, has been what I've been needing to hear for the last 40 years.

This book is finding all the little hidden pockets in me that I've buried all my life and it's offering a reassuring hand saying "you're OK, we're in this together, you're safe and I won't leave you".

I've just finished it and I feel heard and understood at long last! I'm not weird or a push-over or even a people-pleaser, I've been a fawner my whole life and this incredible author has given me the courage to be able to start to say "no" and even start to set boundaries for the first time in my life!

This book is a definite must-read for *everyone* whether you're a people-pleasing fawner or not!

As Meg Josephson advices, I will be honest, and tell my expectations and experience as it was.
Because of Josephson's and the publisher's expertise, my expectations from this book were moderately high, balanced by my negative experience with similarly themed books.
Josephson's great at compiling useful advice about being true to one's self, but what differentiates this book from similar ones is how compact, comprehensive, and yet, appealing to the reader it is.
Some of Josephson's anecdotes and advice boxes were much useful than I had anticipated.
Are You Mad At Me also uses the framework of trauma for fawning/people pleasing, and cautions the reader to be more mindful and assertive. But not in a didactic way.