Give me a dark paranormal /monster romcom and I will eat it up every time!!

This was such a fun ride! If you like
-human sacrifice
-a broody morally grey dark lord
-a messy a$$ fmc

This is for you!

Lots of sass and snark? Check!|
Morally Grey Characters you can't help but start to love? Check!
Political intrigue & machinations? Check!
Found Family? Check!
Plenty of LGBTQIA+ rep? Multiple checks!
Plenty of feminine rage at the patriarchy? Check Check Check!
This was such an entertaining listen, one I would very gladly listen too again, I both listened to the audiobook, and read the ebook, & while the narrator did a brilliant job of immersing me in the story, I think I enjoyed just reading the book on my own a smidge more, I couldn’t tell you why though. The magical system was interesting and unique, the characters had me invested in what was going to happen to them, the world building was good (though I would have liked a little more in depth truth be told) & the plot was for the most part well executed. There were a few times the chapters felt like they were drawn out a little longer than necessary, but 95% of the book just flew by due to me being so enthralled with the story. I laughed out loud at so many quips, none of which I want to spoil because as much as l'd like to mention them here, I want each person delving into the story to delight in hearing/reading them themselves for the first time. If you enjoy stories that are complex, layered and make you feel all the feels, you will greatly enjoy this story.

This has an interesting fantasy world and some great characters. There were just so many ideas and characters in this book that it felt like they didn’t get the chance to be fully explored and fleshed out. A couple of times there was some back story quickly mentioned, and I’d think “this could be a whole chapter.” It would have worked better for me as a story if focused down on fewer key plot lines and characters.

This was a bit over my head as a reader of romantasy, but it is likeable and I think readable for the right person. For me, it was just too out there to get into.

I really, really disliked the writing in this book, which is a shame, because a lot of the elements were very tempting. I just couldn't reconcile the jovial, fluffy tone and aggressively millennial humour with the supposedly dark subjects that were being discussed and attempts at weighty worldbuilding. There are zero content warnings on this book, but it's in large part about the struggles of women in a patriarchal society and has no qualms about throwing discussions of rape and slavery around without anything that feels like due care, amongst wry putdowns and sassy punchlines. You almost don't *need* any warnings, because nothing is treated with any seriousness beyond throwing the words in there.

What I did like was the trans rep, and the general LGBT positivity; with a strong edit, this could have been a lovely cozy fantasy about love and self-acceptance, or a harrowing but cathartic dark fantasy about gender, violence and power. But the tone is so wrong for the dark content, and the dark content is so wrong for the fluffy romance - I felt uncomfortably pulled between the two from sentence to sentence and the whiplash had me skimming purely to the romance scenes to finish that plotline. Even the spicy scenes aren't given space to breathe; they're detailed in language but quick and unengaging in pace, without exploring the emotional weight of the BDSM relationship or being informed by the backstories of either of the characters. It just felt like none of the elements of this book got what they deserved, and the end result is something caught awkwardly between genres, tones, and styles. Unfortunately, a total bust for me.

Super cute fantasy. Ysabel was a super relatable main character. Kaine truly was the best part though. I loved the LGBTQ+ representation, I also really enjoyed the growth of Ysabel throughout the book. The magic system is fun and it was a refreshing take on faith.

An extremely unique and refreshing fantasy that subverts expectations and defies the usual tropes.

Ysabel is a sharp-tongued heroine who has a gift for healing (at the cost of a day of her life) who genuinely wants to help people, but also feels a little resentful at times.

She has no qualms playing into her image as a 'holy maiden' - if it means a spot on the council and some political sway to make her city a better and fairer place. But secretly, she is an unapologetic dominatrix with a penchant for men on their knees.

There was so much to love about this book - trans representation, morally grey characters, high stakes political rebellion, intriguing and unique magic system - but it fell short for me with the insta-love romance and inconsistency of the writing.

I did laugh out loud at several points (reminding me sometimes of the humour in Villians & Virtues series) but it felt overly silly and immature at times. Despite the humour and playfulness, there were some important topics and themes addressed (religion, slavery, war, feminism) but in my opinion, was too on the nose and over-explained.

While I enjoyed many parts of it and appreciated how unique it was, this isn't a book for everyone (and that's okay!). The people this book is for will absolutely love it.

P.S. Donya and Alzira were amazing side characters!

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Podium Publishing for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!

This book was a vibe, it just wasn’t my vibe. I agree with what other readers have said in regard to a very unique storyline, but it was too chaotic for me to be drawn in. The author had a lot of great ideas and I will check out her next book.

I was honestly so presently surprised by this book. Everything was so refreshing. The political intrigue was so well developed, it could get a bit heavy but it was paced well so I didnt mind. And the characters were so 👌 perfect. I love a Dom fmc, and a himbo-esk love interest was perfection. And the representation was so beautifully done. I didnt no research when I picked this books up and I was blown away. One of my favorite reads this year

This book is so fun! The FMC is a lot, which is one of my favorite types to read about. She's snarky and she is not afraid to speak her mind. Loved it, an easy read.

Five star read. That's it. That's the review. Give me the next one in my grabby little hands.
Okay, really though.
I absolutely ADORED this, and if I did six stars I'd give it that. So, I'm going to share my Top 3 elements instead.
YSABEL AND POLITICS
Ysabel’s one of my all-time favourite characters. She genuinely wants to help but she's also incredibly pragmatic.
I loved that in this book we got not one, but two, political women. Both are shown as competent, smart, and dedicated, but each tackles issues and reform in their own unique way. And despite the characters disagreements, the writing treats both Ysabel and Donya’s methods as valid.
There's no right or wrong answer.
As a personal preference, I loved Ysabel's strategies. She was slightly more underhand.
She would play different people off each other. She would wrangle concessions that maybe weren't the lofty goals Donya had in mind, but were something achievable and a step forward in the process.
And I really loved watching her play the political game with cardinals and nobles, and move people around.
I loved the way she used people's perception of her: the holy maiden.
There were expectations and assumptions that people made about her based on her power, based on her position within that religion, and she was completely capable and willing to use their perceptions against them.
THE ROMANCE
Kaine does kill quite a lot of people when he's angry, but he's very much a golden retriever. He's maybe not the brightest spark in the box, but he's great at strategy and he is devoted.
I love the dynamic in their relationship. It was the first time I've seen BDSM treated the way this was in a romantasy. For a start, it's Ysabel who is the dominant and a man is the submissive partner but also, it wasn't treated as dark and kinky, it was treated as just the way they have sex, the way their relationship works outside of the bedroom. It was refreshing to see BDSM portrayed in such a unique way. It was it was sweet. It was tender. It permeated through their characters as well as through the sex scenes, without those sex scenes feeling like they were there to be sex scenes.
The whole thing blended together: the world, the characters, the politics, the kink.
Five stars.
THE REPRESENTATION
As well as the BDSM, we have a trans love interest, an asexual supporting character in Alzira, and Ysabel's face-blindness. These elements were seamlessly woven through the story itself. Particularly the face-blindness, I was so impressed with how it came up and affected Ysabel's day-to-day life and her actions. It never felt tacked on.
I fully understand that this book won't be for everyone. It includes darker topics, but with a light, joking tone and one or both of those might put you off, but I genuinely can't express how much fun I had with Ysabel, Kaine, and the Dragon Maidens.

Ysabel is the Holy Maiden, who dresses in white to emphasise her purity and propitiate the sexist old cardinals, who happen to believe her gift for Healing can only happen if she remains chaste. When Ysabel is nothing of the sort. She’s a gutsy, intelligent woman whose gift for healing costs her a day of her life every time she uses it. Yet the King insists she heals his pet dog who accidentally has eaten chocolate, without even waiting to see if the animal is sick.



I picked up this one thinking it would be a light-hearted romp with a cute romance story attached – and it’s a lot heftier than that. Yes, there is humour, but it’s frequently satirical and biting. One of the major themes running through it is what happens to people in power when there are no real checks and balances to ensure they behave properly. So there are cases of rape and children are assaulted by the Great and Good without any ongoing consequences. Ysabel’s experiences as a child after she is sold off at ten years old are horrible enough to make rocks weep. Small wonder she’s prone to panic attacks, drinks too much and likes her sex with lots of bondage. And now, having only months left to live, given the amount of healing she’s forced to do, Ysabel is determined to leave political protections in place for the large refugee population living on the outskirts of the city.

Meanwhile the evil High Cardinal Jiang is definitely someone you wouldn’t want to cross paths with – he enjoys making Ysabel afraid. And yes, she’s overwhelmingly frightened of him, having been under his control for far too long. I was pleased to see her indignation on being kidnapped by the Dark Lord – all too often such abductions are given a romantic gloss, but Ysabel is very clear that taking someone away without their prior consent is plain wrong – and certainly not sexy.

And that brings me to the subject of sex. Ysabel is into BDSM in a major way and I learnt faaar more than I wanted to about the nitty gritty of this type of sexual relationship as the bedroom scenes are graphic. I kept scrolling past them – but if I’d had the audiobook version, I might well have DNF’d this one as I listen to my books while houseworking with two teenage boys at home. I’ve knocked a point off for that – not that it’s there, but that there isn’t any real warning in either the blurb or the cover that there is a fair amount of graphic sex in the book. That said – I was sufficiently invested in the story and Ysabel’s character that I skimmed through all of the steamy stuff to get back to the interesting, action-packed plotline and the larger-than-life characters.

Recommended for fans of adventure fantasy that engages fearlessly in gender politics in amongst dealing with the bad guys. While I obtained an arc of A Holy Maiden’s Guide to Getting Kidnapped from the publisher via Netgalley, the opinions I have expressed are unbiased and my own.
8/10

Rounded this book to 3.5 stars! This was such a unique mix of fantasy, romance, and chaos. I really liked Ysabel as a heroine—she’s messy, flawed, and willing to break every rule to survive, which made her feel real and easy to root for. The worldbuilding was interesting, and I loved the tension with Kaine (the Dark Lord definitely delivers on the broody, morally gray vibes).

That said, the pacing felt a little uneven, and I wish some plot points (like her face blindness and bodyguard) had been explored more. Still, it’s an entertaining, fast read with a darker edge that kept me curious until the end.

I really wanted to love this book—the title and concept sounded so fun.

I did like Ysabel and Kaine and the diverse cast, especially the trans representation. I really struggled to get into the story though. There was just so much going on, with heaps of concepts introduced and really complicated magic rules that were hard to follow. It felt like the book was trying to do too much at once, and it lost me along the way.

I had high expectations for this one but for me it didn't hit the mark.

Thanks NetGalley for the opportunity to review this book.

DNF - so sorry this isn’t working for me because the title and cover and summary all sounded so amazing. And I absolutely give credit to the author for the amount of diversity in this book up to the 45% mark where I stopped.
I’m just absolutely not getting on with the writing style at all, I see what it’s trying to do and I want to love it but I find it clunky and awkward. The insta live is also very strong and I just found myself sadly being bored reading this.

I’m so sure it will find its readership tho because I don’t think it’s a bad book, it’s just not the one for me.

The cover of this book is absolutely stunning and immediately caught my eye. It’s a humorous yet dark epic fantasy with incredibly unique worldbuilding and a complex magic system. That said, the pacing is quite slow and, at times, it dragged a bit for me. There are multiple interesting plotlines running at once, which made it harder for me to stay fully engaged, I think I would’ve enjoyed it more if it had focused more deeply on one main storyline. It’s also surprising this hasn’t been marketed as dark fantasy, considering the heavy themes it explores.

There was so much going on in this book.
Ysabel is caught up in a complex world of magic, politics, slavery, war, and life-oaths.
The cost of Ysabel's gift is to lose a day of her own, which is taken for granted.
Then the Dark Lord appears and refuses to take even a day from her life, helping reignite her spark for survival.
"I've always longed for someone to tell me that a day of my life matters. That I shouldn't have to die for everyone else's sake."
Ysabel's inner monologue is witty, and I am here for it.

This was so much fun. Every trope you can think of about a pious young woman with proper etiquette and a dark Lord is applicable, but is completely turned around. So much humor sprinkled into this one.

In the interest of full disclosure, I received an ARC of A Holy Maiden’s Guide to Getting Kidnapped by Katy Nyquist from NetGalley in exchange for an unbiased review.

This one wasn’t for me—but I can absolutely see it being for someone else. If you’re into chaotic magic systems, court politics, morally gray holy girls, and slow-burn enemies-to-lovers with a side of light kink, then you might have a great time here. Personally, I felt like I got hit with five different genres at once and never fully connected with any of them.

Let’s start with what did work: the premise. Ysabel, our face-blind Holy Maiden, is funny, sharp, and fed up with the whole “being a living saint” thing. Her healing powers cost her a day of her life for each person she heals, and people still line up expecting miracles. Kaine, our so-called Dark Lord, is more golden retriever than terrifying warlord, and Ysabel’s nemesis, Cardinal Jiang is cartoonishly evil personified. But for every moment of genuine brilliance or deep-feeling tenderness, there’s one where the tone whiplashes, the plot sprints, or the world-building overwhelms itself. This book is chaotic neutral in novel form. Sometimes that worked for me. Mostly it really didn’t.

The book swings wildly between sarcastic quips and incredibly heavy topics (rape, abuse, religious trauma), often without warning. That mismatch made it hard for me to settle into the story. I also found the pacing uneven and the world overstuffed. There are a lot of ideas here, and while many are interesting, they compete for space in a way that made the story feel unfocused. Also, I struggled with Kaine—he was sweet, sure, but a little too passive and generic for someone with “Dark Lord” on his resume.

I’m giving this book 2.5 stars, rounded up to 3 because while I didn’t particularly like it and didn’t think it was particularly strongly written(and probably wouldn’t pay for it), I can understand why a different reader would, and would thoroughly enjoy it. If you like this kind of book, this is exactly the kind of book you would like.

Things I loved: Alzira, Ysabel’s terrifyingly loyal bodyguard and dry-humored chaos goblin. The magic system. Healing magic that drains your life? Dark lords who can steal powers but refuse to let said healer drain her life for him? Rituals for immortality? Yes please. I also appreciated the way the book calls out religious hypocrisy and the weaponization of faith. Some of Ysabel’s inner monologues cut.

Things I didn’t: Like I said earlier, tonally, this book is all over the place. You’ll be reading something witty and irreverent—“I added landscaping to all the public areas, and dead bodies would not match the aesthetic”—and then suddenly, boom: ritual sacrifice, references to rape, or a veiled allusion to child abuse. The content is heavy and often under-signposted. And while the author clearly wants to handle these themes with care, they’re not always balanced with the book’s otherwise flippant voice. Also, as previously mentioned, the plot is overstuffed. It tries to be dark fantasy, romance, political thriller, magical rebellion, court drama, and spicy character study all at once. Any one of those threads could’ve been a whole book. Instead, some moments—like the World Games or the dragon maiden’s formation—feel rushed or brushed over, while others drag. And the romance/spice was just… odd. The BDSM/dom-sub element between Ysabel and Kaine wasn’t badly handled, but felt… misplaced? Like someone dropped an entirely different kink-forward novella into the middle of a YA-coded fantasy. I’m all for sex-positivity, but the terminology pulled me out of the world every time.

That said, the book clearly has heart. It’s trying to do a lot, and while it didn’t land for me, I appreciate the ambition and the representation.

Perfect for fans of: Feminist fantasy, clever titles, reluctant saints, Kimberly Lemming, chaotic queer found family, power dynamics (both magical and personal), Disney villains, and overpowered himbos.

I can’t describe how much I adored this book, fantasy, flawed heroines, dark romance, feminist rage, political rebellion and enemies to lovers. This book is a fantastic twist on classic fantasy themes and it gives it such a fresh and vibrant feel. A Holy Maiden’s Guide to Getting Kidnapped is a fast-paced adventure with many layers, it will make you laugh, your heart will ache and you’ll be rooting for Ysabel all the way. This is definitely me of my favourite reads of the year.