First of all, thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the eARCs of this book.

Before I begin with this review, I will say, PLEASE MIND THE CONTENT WARNINGS, cause this book is heavy.

I don't know if I have the words to accurately describe how I feel about this. Obviously, I loved this story, it draws you in from the beginning and sinks its teeth into you.
Crane is one of the best protagonists I have read in a book. He has struggles, he is autistic and he really tries to make the best out of the fact that his bodily authority is ripped away from him, without his consent. The author did not shy away from the ugliness in the world, and that was what made this book for one of the best I have read this year (even if it felt like too much at some points)

This is definitely a story worth reading.

I am incredibly upset
I am disgusted 
I am terrified 
I am angry
I am sad
And I feel weirdly fucking seen

This book wasn't good for my heart, nor was it good for my stress levels BUT GOOD GOD WAS IT GOOD

This was an absolutely great read! I have loved White's previous work and was so happy to be able to read an advanced copy of You Weren't Meant to be Human.

The only thing that let me down slightly-and is a making of my own expectations-is the shift between the first third of the book and the rest. In the beginning I was over the moon at how beautiful the pregnancy set-up was. While the alien part of the story is gross and visceral, which White is amazing at, the impending/suspected pregnancy of a Crane felt like a special psychological horror. What would you do if your worst nightmare came true? I wanted to hold on to the feeling throughout the rest of the book.

We all read things differently and I can't wait to talk to more people about how they felt while reading this! Absolutely give it a try, it's worth every single letter, word, sentence!

Holy shit - having previously read some of White's YA work, I was excited for this, but it absolutely exceeded my expectations. Be warned, this book is dark, with themes of abuse, body horror, cults, and general bad vibes - but at its heart it is full of good people (besides Levi and the hive, of course).
As an autistic trans man, this book really hit home for me - Crane's journey to transness, his attitude to his body and his desires; I deeply related to all of it and, despite it being such a dark book, felt such joy seeing my experience on the page.
The way White writes body horror intertwined with the trans experience is masterful, feeling both visceral and entirely removed, and never making the 'horror' of the body horror being trans itself - but using other experiences and the character's emotions to express how it is a common experience in transness. It also hits on the unfortunately common trans experience of conditional acceptance - finding acceptance with people or a community until you eventually discover that this acceptance hinged on you passing enough, or not fully transitioning, or any number of unreasonable goalposts.
I highly recommend this book to my fellow trans people who have struggled with dark feelings before/throughout their transition, and to any cisgender people who may want to understand, however abstractly, what some trans people go through.

Thank you infinitely to NetGalley and Daphne Press for providing this eARC in exchange for an honest review.

I never have felt so unbearably ill, distraught and amazed by a horror book quite as much as this one,

Now I knew going into this that it would absolutely shatter my soul to pieces. Andrew Joseph White is one of my all time favourite authors, and as an autistic trans person I am so incredibly grateful that I found my way to his incredible books.

There were many scenes that stuck out to me (such as every moment of Stagger caring for Crane), but one scene that was particularly poignant, was near the end of the book, Crane’s parents crossing paths with him. The recognition, love and acceptance brought me to tears.

Please, if you read this book check the content warnings, have a box of tissues on hand, and if you don’t have a strong stomach keep a bucket nearby too - you may need it.

Pregnancy truly is the biggest horror of all.

White did a great job in portraying a raw set of characters who all have their own struggles and demons to battle.
The story is intriguing and at times nerve-racking. For a horror novel, it's perfectly gory and has a refreshing plot that I haven't read before.
I'm glad White finally wrote an adult novel because I've highly enjoyed his previous YA novels.

One thing I would've loved more of was the building of the world. I didn't really understand the structure of the hives and how they recruited followers. Additionally, a bit more explanation would be beneficial at the end of why Crane had to go through what he did.

All in all, a highly enjoyable horror novel that will nestle itself beneath your skin. It's gnarly, I do recommend reading the trigger warnings if you're squeamish.

(4.75 stars, rounding up)

Thank you NetGalley and Daphne Press for the eArc!

I don't know how to accurately describe my feelings on this one. This was a bit more personal and hit a bit closer to home than I would've liked for my own comfort, but this didn't really ruin or dampen my experience. Crane is a very intense and deeply-troubled character, I can see parts of myself in him, my child self, my current self, myself if I was a lot worse for ware. His entire character makes this book for me, because honestly? Yeah, I would too dude. I'd also fucking lose it if I was forced into a pregnancy against my will.
Not to mention, the way his relationships and character are handled. I love how messy he is, he isn't perfect, he isn't a perfect victim, he's not all sympathetic and pure. He's jealous and fiery and angry and so so scared. His intrusive thoughts, did resinate with me. Not in what he thought, but in their nature. How much he sort of enjoys and revels in them despite how gross and weird and violent they are. As much as he is disgusted and ashamed, he is sort of into it. The scene where Levi shames him as well, oof. That hit hard. Because that's what so many people do, take them at face value, think that they tell about the person despite the fact they're just thoughts that are often distressing to the person.
I especially love his bond with Jessica, the jealousy and hatred of her at first. Resenting how she got it easier, why it isn't her dealing with this, etc. And, moreso, his relationship with Levi. Fuck that man, but also, he doesn't feel one note. When I saw another review say Levi cares for Crane in his own fucked up way, I didn't believe them, but oh my god, he really does. They have something fucked up and he's an abusive asshole, but that's how some are. Some do care for their victims despite how abusive and weird they are. And the way Crane is stuck because not only do the people around him let it happen, he likes it. I haven't read many stories with abusive relationships, the only one I can think of is Streetcar Named Desire, but I like how this portrays that maybe someone is stuck because they like what happens, even if it's unhealthy. It's not something that I see often, and not only does it make it scarier, it feels more real.
Also I just love Stagger. I can't say it, I don't even have the words, but he <3
And, not to get all analytical and literary in a review, but THE TITLE. OH MY GOD THE TITLE. As you read it seems that the meaning is almost everchanging. At first, it seems like that could be directed at the baby Crane is carrying. It is a product of this cult, it is inhuman by nature. But then, as the book progresses and we learn of the Hive's control and Crane's mental state, it's like it could have many more meanings. Maybe it's directed at Crane, he wasn't intended to be human for all his strange and odd nature. Or maybe it's at the followers as a whole, something the Hive tells them. They are not human, they aer detached from the people and world around them.

Now, this is the only book of AJW's I didn't rate 5 stars, even if it's still close, and that's because I had some problems with it.
While I really enjoyed the ending (fuck that was good, I can't believe I sort of thought of that that a year in advance, yes before the triggers went up, haha), it was rushed. What happens in the final chapters was so random. His parents appearing and Jess leaving him behind. But other than that, I enjoyed it. And also, I didn't like how Crane keeps going on in first half about wanting to jump Levi's bones every 2 seconds. I get why, and in some scenes, I think it adds a good bit characterisation or even horror, but still. We get it, you don't need to repeat it again. That could certainly be some kind of bias, but y'know.

And, more of a neutral final note. It was not as gory as I thought it would be. Very gross, yes, but not what I thought it would be. However, it is far more emotionally visceral. It's far more cathartic and brutal emotionally as we see Crane beaten down time and time again. It is bleak.
And well, I found it quite funny at some parts? Like, it feels like there's some humour here, the joke about Stagger not being able to have a normal name because you can't call the zombie man full of worms Jon, or the comment about how the 50s, Crane would've had it easier because he would've been lobotomised and/or high off his ass all the time. They're sort of grim, but it's phrased in that way that makes me almost chuckle. For what it's worth, it is still bleak despite the strange humor.

This book was an absolute masterpiece. It was grim, it was gory and it was intense.
Thr transgender and autistic representation within this book was astounding and it was done in a way that I haven't experienced before. Nor did I expect.
Dont even get me started on how this story ended because it through me through all kinds of loops.
I will 100% be checking out more of this authors works because this was unbelievably good.

Thank you to Daphne Press and NetGalley for the ARC!

You Weren't Meant to Be Human follows Crane, a trans man who has been saved by the hive - a festering mass of worms and flies that promises a fresh start. Within the hive Crane is protected and safe to be who he is, until he becomes pregnant by Levi, another of the hive's followers. Crane does not want this baby, but the hive demands it.

Crane has been one of the most fascinating characters I have ever read. Andrew Joseph White has created someone that feels deeply personal to you as a reader and oozes raw authenticity. Crane's vulnerability yet self-destructive and shocking behavior feels so relatable.

"He needs the hive. He needs somebody to pull his leash, point him in a direction, tell him what to do. He can't make his own decisions. When he thinks for himself, all it does is hurt him. Of course he can't do anything without the hive.

Without the hive, he's nothing."

This book is grotesque, gory, horrifying and downright perfect. This is not traditional horror created by unknown monsters or invading aliens, this is the horror that lives next door to you. This has been one of my most anticipated reads this year and I'm so glad I was able to receive a copy in advance. I can't wait to read this again once it's released.

You Weren’t Meant to Be Human takes everything I loved about Hell Followed With Us and elevates it a thousandfold. It’s gory, at times wickedly funny, and impossibly tender amid the horrors.

I might be a little biased as a queer and autistic reader, but I found Crane to be an amazing protagonist: complex, relatable, and a delight to follow. The secondary characters have real depth, and the exploration of bodily autonomy—especially as it intersects with trans identities—is outstanding.

Truly, this novel is one of a kind, and I’m certain it will stay with me for a long time. Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC—and to the author, for making my own Sophie feel a little more seen.

You Weren’t Meant to be Human is Andrew Joseph White’s adult horror debut. It has been a few years since Crane left his life behind to follow the Hive, an alien being consisting of flies and worms, which allowed him to stop speaking and to transition. When Crane becomes pregnant, the Hive commands him to continue the pregnancy.

Many thanks to Netgalley, Daphne Press, and Andrew Joseph White for this eARC.

You Weren’t Meant to be Human
By Andrew Joseph White
4.25/5

Trigger Warnings: pregnancy, murder, suicidal thoughts, injury, gore, transphobia, cannibalism, self-harm, violence, toxic relationship, miscarriage, blood, sexual violence, dysphoria, rape, mental illness, homophobia, vomit, fire, deadnaming, confinement

Queer rep:
Trans man protagonist
Nonbinary sc
Trans woman sc
Achillean sc

I requested this ARC with full confidence that this would be a 5-star read. I enjoyed all of AJW’s YA horror novels, particularly Compound Fracture, and couldn’t wait to see what his novel aimed at an older audience would be like. The premise sounded fascinating.

The novel opens by introducing us to Crane and Levi, his roommate who impregnated him. Levi does not come across as likeable at all. I immediately loathed him, and was glad when that became increasingly justified. Other members of their Hive include the caring but obedient Tammy, and the considerate newcomer, Jess. Stagger, the worm-man told to protect Crane, was a very interesting character. By the end, I was surprised how much I liked him.

Crane fled to the Hive to be himself, after years of longing to burn his own face to ‘make the outside match the inside’. Now, the Hive claims that they are fulfilling that desire through forcing him to carry the pregnancy to term. The true horror in this novel is not the swarm of weird alien worms that speak in the heads of their ‘children’, but the pregnancy itself. Crane has to suffer through pain, increasing dysphoria, and the horror of living his worst nightmare. He can’t even go to his only friends outside the Hive, Aspen and Birdie, for help. The Hive has chosen to prioritise a clump of cells over the happiness of the man they claim to love. This reflects abortion laws in the current-day USA, as in many states it is banned, sometimes even considered murder.

The pacing felt slow until around the 60% mark, from there I finished the book in one sitting. The ending was surprisingly happy, I had predicted a much darker turn of events. (Though the ending is still quite dark.)

There was one scene, in Chapter 20, that shook me to the point that I considered taking a break from this book. It’s definitely not the easiest book to read, there are so many trigger warnings that I beg you to look at before you consider reading this book.

Overall, I do recommend this one. The dark tone was consistent throughout and the plot was unique. It is extremely different to AJW’s YA novels, clearly aimed at an older audience, so don’t just read it because you enjoyed his last 3 books (though I highly recommend them all).

I read "You weren't meant to be human" as a e arc through netgalley. I always really appreciate when these are available to be downloaded to kobo because I am trying to move away from using my phone or Amazon to consume media.

"You weren't meant to be human" Is Andrew Joseph White's first adult horror novel. I have two of his other books which are classed as YA horror. I'm not super familiar with White's work outside of this arc because though I have heard of them and I have a copy of "the spirit bears, its teeth" and "hell follows with us". I have for whatever reason not been immediately drawn to those books on my shelf. I have to say having read this now, I will probably prioritise reading his other YA horror novels. I was particularly interested in reading this one after seeing a clip of a video where White is talking about how horror can be for young adults. I was interested what his take on adult horror would be.

The central narrative of "you weren't meant to be human" is around the main character, who is a trans man who is living in a commune run by this horrific hive mind made of worms and insects. The premise is that if you are lost or damaged enough, the hive will rescue you and in exchange you give of yourself. It's interesting in that that is presented as still happening in the "real world" as if it could be happening alongside us, but that isn't delivered particularly strongly and was set up as just setting. I would have actually liked to see more of that fleshed out. It's implied at different points that in order to be a member you have to commit a certain acts and behave in a certain way and there are other hives and I just had some curiosity about that that wasn't ever really stated. The central character I really loved and really empathized with that feeling of self-destruction in order to feel yourself. The main relationships that the main character has are really well constructed and felt very real to me as someone as a queer person who felt raised by queer people, and generally people who do not 'fit'.

I have to be frank that my initial thoughts about the book were that the body horror felt somewhat misogynistic, especially in the beginning. I'm not unfamiliar with body horror and have consumed lots of horror media from books, films and video games and like many other women have struggled with my feelings around the trope of pregnancy, child, birth, child loss, false pregnancy, etc. being used and sometimes misused in the genre. As a Cis woman, I do appreciate that I'm coming from this from a really different point of view to the author, so I'm not trying to diminish that by any means and I did wonder what it was exactly what was not sitting right with me and I did that whilst reading the book. I think on reflection the first 20% of the book reads like a work in progress for the rest of the novel. It explores a lot of different themes and horrific imagery, but only a small amount of those get fleshed out through to the end of the book.

I ended up giving it 3.75 out of 5 because by the end of the novel I felt that the main character had been on this journey, that by the end that the themes had been really well illustrated. I was very drawn to the what from my perspective was one of the central messages which is that not everything that saves you will serve you in the long run. I do think that is such an important message, that sometimes you traumatise yourself in an effort to recover but you have to keep trying even when things might only get 1% better. I'll definitely be picking up White's previous YA novels and I would recommend this for anyone who enjoys(?) gory body horror and problematic found family vibes.

You Weren’t Meant to Be Human follows Crane who is grateful to the hive. The hive is a festering mass of worms and flies that live in Appalachia. The hives need fresh corpses to thrive so they offer humans salvation in exchange for loyalty. Crane doesn’t speak to anyone out of choice after he managed to transition and live as the man he is. He is in a relationship with Levi who ends up getting him pregnant. The hive needs Crane to birth the baby but it will only end in blood.

This was not an enjoyable book to read but it was so incredibly impactful. After reading the author’s note it’s clear this story is very personal to AJW. This book is a response to the overturning of Roe v. Wade and the impact that has on trans men specifically. This book gave me so much to consider as I never really thought about trans people and their reproductive rights. This book is very heavy but I really enjoyed following Crane and whilst this is an uncomfortable book it is very well written and effective. This got more gruesome as the book went on and I really liked that aspect. I just love AJW’s storytelling and whilst I’m not trans I could still relate to Crane’s thoughts. This was so good and I think fans of AJW will enjoy this but I do think readers should check the trigger warnings which are listed at the start of the book.

Absolutely freaking insane! I’ve been struggling to find the right words to put the mind fuck that is this book into cohesive thought! It’s a truly horrific masterpiece that shouldn’t be taken lightly!
It’s trigger warning galore; unwanted pregnancy, body horror and dysphoria to name a few and they definitely need to be considered for a book like this but I feel the need to point out that a couple could potentially give the ending away. Proceed with care!

This book delves into the inner most darkest depths of the human psyche, and wow those obtrusive thoughts are on point. They’re so accurately portrayed and handled so well that I’m in awe. My stomach was in absolute knots – I haven’t had such a strong visceral reaction from a book in quite some time!

I absolutely devoured this book in one sitting; it’s utterly grotesque in all the right ways! I’m so excited to add this to my collection upon release. It was one of my most anticipated reads of this year and it did not disappoint!

Thank you to NetGalley and Daphne Press for the opportunity to read this title.

This is my second book by the author, but I fell in love with Compound Fracture, so when his first adult novel was announced, I knew I had to read it. Crane is a trans and autistic man who lives under the protection of a swarm of worms and flies, a kind of cult that appears when you need them most to take you away from whatever is hurting you, in exchange for fresh meat as food and obedience. But that’s not all.

When Crane becomes pregnant by his abusive not-quite-boyfriend, all he can think is that he’d rather die than give birth to it. But soon, the swarm makes it clear that the control he thought he had over his own body is nonexistent. From here, we’re thrown into a true body horror story, as Crane is forced to deal with the pain of carrying a parasite inside him while managing his dysphoria and intrusive thoughts.

I found the novel incredibly powerful in terms of its themes and politics. The decision to bring to life such a brutal metaphor about the policing of uterus-bearing bodies in such a turbulent climate is praiseworthy. There is heavy criticism of the agenda that forces gestating bodies to carry pregnancies to term, even when it might mean their death, in exchange for… what, exactly? Control? Pure cruelty? The truth is, reality is just as frustrating as what Crane goes through in the book, and that’s why I really appreciated the parallel. I also found the trans representation compelling, portrayed in such a raw and unfiltered way, allowing us to witness the most disturbing thoughts of the protagonist.

And here’s the thing. Even though the book is extremely intense and includes a fair amount of gore, what disturbed me the most were Crane’s thoughts. Believing himself deserving of pain, his mind hosts all sorts of nauseating fantasies that, for me, felt a bit too much. On the one hand, it seems as if the author wanted to prove that, now writing adult horror, he could really take things to the next level. On the other hand, it feels unfair to say that, especially after reading the author’s note at the end of the novel, where we learn where many of these thoughts come from. Still, I found it hard to get through this book because of the terror of the human experience, more than the gore or supernatural elements. And don’t get me started on the sick sexual scenes, which were uncomfortable to say the least (willingly, I’d say, but again… too much for me).

And finally, although it might seem secondary after everything else the book throws at you, I would have liked a bit more meat to the story. I wanted to know more about the swarm, even if it wasn’t the main focus, or about the state of the world of which we only catch glimpses here and there. It felt like the story was unfolding in an almost empty world, and in such a political book, I think I needed to see more of the external agents to fully understand the situation.

Overall, it’s a strong book for resilient stomachs, where amputated limbs and worms under the skin will be the least of your worries. But personally, for now, I’ll stick with the rest of Andrew Joseph White’s work.

Visceral and profoundly disturbing, do not take the trigger warnings of this book lightly! This was such an intense and horrifying read, AJW does not shy away from delving into the most taboo innermost thoughts of the human psyche, not to mention the graphic body horror. I loved every second of it (it feels weird to say) and devoured the entire thing mostly in one night. The end scenes had my jaw on the floor!

I think anyone who has experienced OCD/pure O will feel especially seen, I’ve never seen intrusive thoughts described so accurately and the shame that follows, feeling like a monster for the things your mind conjures.

The major theme here is obviously forced pregnancy, and the trauma surrounding that, and crippling dysphoria. I think for transmasc readers this book will either be horrendously triggering or deeply cathartic, approach with care.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Daphne Press for the ARC!

This book broke my heart. How can a novel filled with such awful characters and grotesque scenes be this utterly devastating?

Crane stole my heart. I found their character deeply moving, and it was remarkable how Andrew Joseph White managed to make me understand and empathise so profoundly, even though I’m not a trans person. I felt every emotion, every blow and by the last 10%, I was sobbing.

The cast here is some of the most complex I’ve ever read. The depth and nuance of these characters is outstanding.

The story itself is both compelling and strange. I would have liked more detail about the Hive, but ultimately, it’s the characters that carry this book. I despised Levi, yet I have to admit that White depicted an abusive relationship with harrowing realism.

DNF at 40%.

What I read of this book was super compelling. I picked up the book because the concept outlined in the blurb seemed really interesting and unique. I haven’t previously read any works by this author so I didn’t know what to expect.

I don’t tend to read books that are heavy on gore, there is a hefty list of content warnings prior to reading. Whilst the world building and characters were interesting, I didn’t enjoy reading the gory sections.

If you enjoy reading gory horror books, with political sub contexts, then you’d absolutely enjoy this book.

Thanks to NetGalley UK for an advanced copy!

'You Weren't Meant to Be Human' was one of my most anticipated reads this year. Andrew J. White has a stunning record of YA horror books, and I was very interested to see how he made the transition (pun intended) to adult writing. I devoured this book in one sitting and couldn't look away.

One thing White does exceptionally well is to sketch out a sci-fi/horror world as the background for the character's narrative arc, that is not solved at the end of the book - readers of The Spirit Bares Its Teeth will know what I mean. Foregrounding the main character rather than having them as a chosen one that solves the world's problems is particularly effective here. Crane's struggle is visceral, grinding, devastating. It deserves to be the main event.

White's authorial voice is very strong - you can certainly tell this is a Andrew J. White book - but this sometimes inhibits a change in tone to adult writing. At points, it is YA writing for adult material (and the semi-deus-ex-machina at the end stretched the imagination and could have done with greater justification). This can partly be explained by the main character, Crane, a 21 (then 22) year old whose time with the Hive seems to have held him in a state of suspended emotional development that puts him closer in emotional age to some of White's YA protagonists. (This also reminded me of autistic skills regression which... mood) It also becomes understandable in light of the personal Acknowledgments section which, like the book, was beautiful and heart-breaking (does this book count as some kind of autofiction now??? much to consider...)

I've been thinking recently about 'difficult' protagonists, protagonists which often seem to abandon their agency, struggle against their narrative arc, hide themselves from themselves and by extension, the reader. The cult situation and the general Horrors of the World at the moment are a really compelling context for one of these difficult protagonists. And oddly comforting for anyone who feels like they are a 'difficult' protagonist in their own life. It is really noticeable that every AJW book has greater depth and layers. - you can see how White's research and experience of Appalachia informed this book, without being even close to the main theme. It is amazing to see an author grow, and I am so excited to read everything he writes next.

Hooooooooo boy. Gosh, Andrew Joseph White is such an incredibly talented author. I inhaled this book in a day, it is so compelling and perfectly paced. It feels almost wrong to say I enjoyed this so much because the subject matter is not meant to be enjoyable, but I did not want to put this down.
I'm a marshmallow when it comes to horror, having only been brave enough to delve into it last year (2024) and I've found I'm much stronger than I think, because I didn't squirm at this once. Yeah, it's graphic but maybe my brain just blocks it out lmao. But that's not to say that it's not super graphic and gross because IT IS.
I shed tears a couple of times, but not because of the grossness, because of the deeper underlying themes - but towards the end, they weren't tears of sorrow. This book is all despair and bloodshed, but I came away from it feeling morbidly...hopeful.