A phantom rectum is the least of Aki’s problems; at least it behaves itself in public. No, it’s her stoma that has a mind of it’s own, gurgling and rumbling without any sense of propriety. Standing in the middle of the grocery shop, her trolley half full, her pouch fit to bursting, there’s a slight fug in the air and her fellow shoppers start to take notice. Oh, the humiliation…

Aki had not expected to live life with a colostomy bag. But then, does anyone expect a routine colonoscopy to result in a punctured intestine? To hell with it! It’s not the end of the world and millions of people with colostomy bags live normal lives. As for Aki, given she’s Japanese, this falls front and centre into her psyche for hygiene and cleanliness. The only spanner in the works: she has married an Englishman, seemingly raised by wolves, happy to clean his hands on the inside of his pockets and eat food that has fallen on the floor.

This could get messy!