My Dark Vanessa

My Dark Vanessa is a novel about a relationship between a fifteen year old girl and her English teacher, looking at what happens when she has to confront what occurred between them in the wake of various sexual abuse allegations against powerful men coming to light. Vanessa is fifteen and lonely at her new boarding school. Her English teacher seems to understand her, though. When they end up in a relationship, she believes that it is love, and he desperately tells her that. But now she's thirty two and the teacher, Jacob Strane, is being accused of sexual abuse by another ex-student, she has to think about everything that has happened between them, through layers of trauma and what he managed to convince her was true.

This is no easy book to read. It has been described as a kind of reworking or subversion of Lolita, and Nabokov's novel is a central theme throughout as Strane uses it as a way of grooming Vanessa to see herself as the one with the power, and it is important that people are aware of this similarity and of the content of My Dark Vanessa before picking it up. It is, intentionally, deeply uncomfortable, as the novel is from Vanessa's point of view so the reader gets to see the ways in which she is manipulated and how this cannot be undone years later. Russell does well to get across the trauma and abuse that Vanessa suffers through the prose style, making scenes between her and Strane disturbing even whilst Vanessa is claiming it is love and it is what she wants.

It was difficult to read the novel without keeping an eye towards how it might end and how it would present Vanessa's story as a whole. Overall, it delves into the complexity of what Vanessa suffers, including the hard facts of facing up to a movement standing up to sexual abuse when someone was groomed to believe it wasn't abuse. In some ways, it feels like it highlights how certain elements of art— like Lolita, but also other references made in the novel—can be wilfully misread or interpreted to justify abuse and to manipulate people. It isn't a novel that ends with a big, unambiguous statement, and there is a lot to take in and think about rather than easy answers given.

An excellent dissection of grooming and the irreversible damage these predators cause, this book makes for uncomfortable reading in places.

The stealthy progress of small boundaries being crossed, there were times when it made me feel physically sick. However as well as being topical it’s horribly plausible and as a treatise on hidden damage superb.

Firstly I need to tell you this book is explicit and the subject matters of child grooming and sexual abuse aren’t sugar coated – it’s raw, brutal, disturbing and extremely uncomfortable reading from page one until the end.

My Dark Vanessa is not just dark it’s almost total blackout and readers of a delicate nature should avoid at all costs.

Vanessa is our narrator and doesn’t hold back in her thoughts, feelings and memories. Now aged 32 years old and barely coping with life, working in a hotel as a concierge and drifting from booze, drugs and meaningless sex she takes us back to her childhood when she attended a prestigious boarding school and at age 15 met and “fell in love” with her English teacher, 45 year old Jacob Strane.

Even through Vanessa’s words the reader is under no illusion that this is 100% predatory child grooming and it’s impossible not to feel sorry for Vanessa and disgust at Strane’s behaviour. One of Strane’s earlier comments to Vanessa is that he is going to ruin her and there is no doubt he does exactly what he said he would as we watch her life and future fall apart in the hands of this twisted paedophile.

“His hand slips out from under my skirt and he slides like liquid out of his chair and onto the floor. Kneeling before me, he lays his head on my lap and says, “I’m going to ruin you.”

Whilst all the above is shocking and uncomfortable to read, it’s Vanessa’s refusal to face the truth of who the real victim is especially when several other students come forward accusing Strane of molesting or assaulting them that makes the reader feel the most disturbed.

My Dark Vanessa is a powerful and deeply thought provoking debut novel which will leave a mark on you as a reader and as a human being. The writing is utterly spellbinding and beautiful and the author has written an exceptional story which will stay in my thoughts for a long time.

Publish date: 23rd January 2020

What a book. Sexually charged dynamite - draws us to question the accountability of bystanders, as well as our sense of reality and the stories we believe. Never conclusive, this novel brings the attention to the Me Too movement - and the spectrum of women who speak out, women not speaking out, and the impact on all their lives. Provocatively well-written.

A powerful book about the psychology of an abuse victim. I know of a real life case where a girl abused by a teacher at a similar age to the girls in the story is still with him and now has three children by him. There is an important conversation to be had about grooming and the psychological damage inflicted by it.

This book kept it’s foot on the peddle, I could not stop reading once I started. The narrator is self aware enough to recognise the pitfalls of her emotions but does not excuse the behaviour that is central to the book. A great story which pushes your boundaries

Thanks to 4th Estate for an ARC.

First of all this is not an easy book to read. It’s dark, uncomfortable, disturbing but riveting.

Vanessa Wye was 15 years old when she began a relationship with her teacher Mr Strane.

Vanessa is now 32. Jacob Strane has been accused of sexual abuse by a former student. Vanessa is asked to come forward with her story.

Going back & forth, between past & present, Vanessa reveals her relationship with Strane. She believes it wasn’t abuse but love, her great love story.

“I just really need it to be a love story. You know? I really, really need it to be that.”
“Because if it isn’t a love story, then what is it?”

We read Vanessa’s pain. She’s stuck in the past, everything she is comes back to Strane. As she says “This is been my whole life.”

But even through Vanessa’s denials you can see her doubts. From the very start, she questioned what he wanted, revealing her disgust, drifting off in her mind til it was over, letting him do it because it made him happy.

Vanessa believed she was the powerful one, Strane told her she had all the power but ultimately she had nothing.

Jacob Strane is the best worst character I have ever read. His dialogue actually made my skin crawl, his manipulation drips from the pages.

An important book, especially in these times.

I enjoyed this more than expected. I thought it would be light and fluffy but there was some depth to the story. In a world where the USA chose a monarchy instead of a democracy, she explores the impact of being royalty on the personal lives of the royal family. The eldest daughter has the responsibly and strain of living up to expectations imposed on her. Will she be able to follow her heart or fulfill her duty? The second child is wild, rejecting her constraints. And the third royal appears naive and oblivious to the real world of competition and scheming.

I found it a little slow to start but it did start to pick up. It's clearly a romance but it has some novel angles which keep it fresh and interesting. And it felt real enough that perhaps inspiration was taken from real life royals. Im thinking Britain and Monaco. Overall it is well interwoven and very readable. Like a compulsive soap opera I was hooked to see the fates of these likeable characters.

I didn't really intend on reading this book: there is so much hype already, despite it's release date being January 2020, since it addresses the 'Me Too' movement, and any comparison to Lolita will always put me off. However, My Dark Vanessa is nothing like I expected. The narrative switches between Vanessa's life in her thirties as other young women coke forward claiming that the English teacher Vanessa had had "an affair" with and a teenager had assaulted them, and her life as a teenager in a secret "relationship". Vanessa has always considered Strane the great love story of her life, one she repeatedly tells as an anecdote of her wild youth, and one that sets her apart from other women. However Vanessa defends her experience, The reader is in left in no doubt that she was singled out as a vulnerable child and groomed and gaslighted so that she believed that their sexual relationship was romantic, consensual, and something that she had actively pursued. I raced through this book with my heart in my throat, and while I can't say I loved it, it was a thrilling reading experience and a lot more thoughtful and nuanced than the sensationalist and shocking premise would lead you to believe. I definitely recommend reading it, but do so as soon as it comes out as the early reviews are correct: this is the book everyone will be talking about in 2020.

A disturbingly sad story that feels all too real. You feel for the main character and sympathise with her ruined life.

A timely story, very well executed. The development of the relationship between abuser and abused is well drawn and the reader is given a unique perspective on a sadly familiar story.
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Dark as the name suggests this enthralling ‘love’ story will wrap you in. Very well written and visual I could easily see this being a film I would love to watch

“I’m going to ruin you “ that statement is enough for you to realise when you read this book that it’s going to be exceptional !!
It’s a very dark and disturbing novel just as the title suggests and not a read that in any way is going to be easy to read. This is a story of a 15 year old girl and the teacher that groomed her leading to an ongoing affair but in many ways this is so much more than just that. It’s a read that often made me very angry and also extremely sad as the main character of Vanessa struggles to come to terms with her feelings both as a young girl and later as a 32 year old woman and it makes for some pretty uncomfortable reading.
It’s an intense book, very graphic and moving as the author never holds back in her descriptions and as you are reading you find yourself pulled into a story that is impossible to put down. It’s totally shocking yet you just can’t stop reading it and the Kate Elizabeth Russell has done a magnificent job in making it very real making you question both your feelings and your judgment.
Powerful and compulsive I feel this will be a massive hit and it’s a book that really deserves all the accolades I am sure it will get, it deserves to be read because this is a story that is happening!!
My thanks to NetGalley and 4th Estate for giving me the chance to read the ARC of this amazing book in exchange for my honest opinion.

There have been many books in the wake of #metoo that have tackled issues of rape, abuse, consent and complicity but this is one of the most subtle as it explores its topic with depth and empathy. It can feel a little prurient when these books follow the protagonists into the bedroom, especially, but here these scenes feel necessary and important for the way in which they focalise Vanessa's oscillating feelings from desire to disgust, from a kind of narcissistic sense of power to the need for bodily alienation and mental escape.

It's important that this is Vanessa's story and it's no coincidence that textual mentions of Lavinia's struggle for speech in [book:Titus Andronicus|3510915] is connected to [book:Lolita|7604]'s emerging, if compromised, agency within that book and Vanessa's mind. What is most effective is the way that we witness Vanessa's own ambiguities about her story, first submerged, and then gradually coming to light. She internalises Slane's perspective to such an extent that her own internal narrative is one of a love story where she is worshipped, not abused; where she is powerful, not a victim; where she is special - not one of a number of under-age girls targeted and groomed by a serial predator.

It's this ability to penetrate beneath the skin of the characters that makes this such a powerful and insightful book. It avoids simplicities of 'lying girls' and even makes Slane both monstrous and pathetic, a man enthralled by his own fantasies even as he knows they're wrong.

Especially potent is the second half of the book where we see the long-term effects on Vanessa of her past - not just in her troubled relationships with other men, but in her lack of self-respect and the chaos of her domestic life.

This isn't (and shouldn't be) an easy read but it's an important one full of empathy, insight and understanding.

Gosh, what to say about this. Well, firstly I'd recommend it, but without words such as "ooh you'll love this" because the subject matter is so sensitive, and I'd just come over as a bit weird. It's very topical, following on from the #metoo campaign, and it's going to cause a lot of discussion. The love between a teenage girl and her middle aged teacher - is that love? And if so, on whose part? If not on the teacher's, then is he a manipulator, a paedophile? And if that relationship carries on into her twenties, how would you describe it then? It's uncomfortable reading at times, most obviously the sex scenes, but it raises so many questions, some tricky to answer.

Hard to read. Challenging. But extremely well written. Read this and he prepared to consider your thoughts and feelings.
I gave this 4/5 on goodreads.

A difficult but compelling read, My Dark Vanessa tells the story of a relationship between a 15-year-old girl, Vanessa, and her 45 year-old teacher, Strane.

Strane slowly grooms Vanessa, leading her to a belief that they have found true love. 17 years later, against the backdrop of the #metoo movement, the adult Vanessa struggles to cope as allegations from other girls about Strane come to light.

The most horrifying aspect of this novel is how deeply Vanessa believes in the purity of her relationship with Strane. She is unable to even consider the possibility that it was anything other than love, because the implications of doing so would see her life falling to pieces. I was left frustrated at many points, willing Vanessa to see Strane for what he is, but mainly I felt sadness...My Dark Vanessa powerfully shows the impact of sexual abuse on a life and the reader can't help but wonder how things would have turned out for Vanessa if she had never encountered this man.

Kate Russell writes in an effortless, flowing manner and the book is difficult to put down, despite the challenging nature of the story.

My Dark Vanessa is timely, important and thought-provoking. I'm sure it will be one of *the* talked about books of 2020.

Dark, disturbing and startling, this is not for the faint hearted but should be read. It is highly relevant for these times. I saw a comparison to My absolute darling by Gabriel Tallent and both show in graphic detail how twisted adult corruption of a child is, how damaging and abusive.