Mother Love

"I'm going to be so careful to watch over my children and treasure them so nothing bad can ever happen to them."

"Mother Love" sounds like a perfect title for me to choose as I have discovered a keen interest in books where main characters have the role of caregivers or parents, and it does not matter whether the person treats their charge well or not. And truthfully, this sounded right up my alley. 

Unfortunately, for most of my experience, reading this book felt rather like a chore I had to get through. I have spent lots of times asking myself why that is, as there is not real problem with the book, so I assign that mainly to my personal taste. Though it still puzzles me a bit, as I regularly read and enjoy character-driven, slow-paced books.

I like the book's premise: as I understand it now after having finished the book, I presume that the poem of Philip Larkin "They fuck you up" speaks more of the relationship Margaret had with her own parents rather than her own children, as they do not express the same eccentric tendencies as Margaret. And as far as Margaret goes, I suspect she has a case of PPD, aka Paranoid Personality Disorder, a bonus which came with the family "secret."

Seeing a person with mental bagagge trying to raise their own kids after a rough childhood is an interesting premise, one not seen often as the spotlight is usually given to characters who suffer during the course of the book.

I also rather enjoyed author's own poems, which were in the book attributed to Caroline - I should love to read more from her if she ever publishes a poem collection. 

Characters were enjoyable, or at least most of them - what disappoints me is that certain people and relationships were not explored enough. That goes for Margaret too, however much I did dread reading from her POV because of her aggravating behaviour. While we see well how her relationships with her kids develop, I would have liked to see more of her relationship with her husband, and more input from her own mother and siblings, or at least more of a transition period between the Margaret we see at the beginning in her correspondence with her cousin and the Margaret from whose POV we read. 

As we are told, Margaret carries a secret with her, one that she cannot inform her children about. We see her once saying it behind the scenes, then getting blamed for lying about it, a few POVs where her family displays disbelief about how much of a liar she is, and end. With how much Margaret actually lies for the remainder or the story to feel better about her own situation and herself, it is hard for me as a reader to feel for her, because until the very end you do not think it happened, then you forget and do not feel much satisfaction with its quick reentering at the end. I did not think it would be a resolved issue - and the level of realism I liked about this book - but when I look back at the book's description, I feel irked by the last line. 

It is not Margaret's secret. It is the secret of her family. 

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Again, looking back at it, I want to appreciate the book, even when I did not enjoy it as such. I love its theme. It is good for a discussion about parents with mental health problems and how the upbringing of their children can suffer not only because it is present, but also because it was never discussed.
Is the Mother's love a blessing or a curse? For the two who experienced it scarcely, an unforeseen blessing. For the one who was swallowed by it, as with all good things that come in extreme abundance, a curse.

"My job has been to protect my family from the secrets and I did what I had to do. That's Mother Love."

I absolutely adored this book. The characters were so real that it sucked you in and made you feel a part of the story. You didn't want it to end!

So, I took a lot of notes while reading this book and quite a few of them are fairly similar. “Margaret is selfish.” “Margaret is a narcissist.” “Margaret is a hypocrite.”

You get the idea.

I ended up sympathizing with her in the end, but she didn’t make a very nice character. I thought that the way she handled her life was very childish.

Her 3 children each dealt with her demeanor in their own ways. Caroline and Matthew ended up fairly stable, while Chloe never could quite make it on her own. I thought that was sad.

Honestly, until the very end of the story, based on all the allegations that Margaret repeatedly tried to pin on the men in her life…I thought she had been lying about what happened to her. I’m still not 100% convinced it happened, but there is a little glimmer of hope.

This book was fun to read because of the way that it was told. Each chapter was laid out in a way to keep it interesting throughout, and I really appreciated that.

I would recommend this book.

Margaret is weighed down by the burden of a secret about her family’s history. Her three children each learn different ways of dealing with her regular flares of anger as they grow to adulthood and forge their own paths.

Caroline, the peace-maker, becomes a wife and mother, gaining eventual contentment and stability with her second husband. Detached and independent, Matthew pursues a successful career in botany, surrounding himself with friends and family on his organic smallholding. Chloe, a skilled violinist, and her mother’s adored favorite, cannot escape Margaret’s cloying influence and struggles to stay afloat as her life spirals into mayhem. 

As Margaret’s behavior becomes ever more worrying and bizarre, the dramas that have defined her life become increasingly pronounced. Eventually, she is detained under the Mental Health Act. Her secret is safe, but at what cost?

Mother's Love is a  story of a mother who is very disturbed, a paranoid woman in which finally causes her children to become dysfunctional and their mother's mother becomes to unravel each in their own way.
I felt for all the children,  the mother's love was one should know.

Thank you, NetGalley for the advance copy to review.

I did not like Margaret at all. She was rude, selfish, and absolutely nuts. Some of the letters she wrote were downright nasty and she sounded like a psycho. I think I would have finished this book sooner if I didn't have to put it down so much because she would make me so mad. There were several times I said to my husband that the book had a character in it that was insufferable. I couldn't stand the way she doted on Chloe like she was the perfect daughter, yet she had absolutely no clue about all the terrible things Chloe was doing. And to make her the sole beneficiary of her will, it didn't surprise me I guess but I am surprised that Caroline and Matthew took it as well as they did. I guess, given how biased Margaret was with her love, it obviously didn't surprise them much.

As much as the book made me angry, I did like it and I'm glad I have the opportunity to review it. I think one of the reasons why Margaret pissed me off so much was because she reminds me so much of my own mother and it brought up memories of my own childhood. Who would have thought that a work of fiction was capable of doing something like that?