Things to Do When You'd Rather be Dead

A well written mystery with a protagonist you can't help but like. The relationships between the characters were interesting. A good plot with and ending I didn't see coming.

Down and out, an ex-detective finds himself travelling around schools and fetes, peddling the wares of the local police district.

His cross to bear, the death of his wife and daughter at the hands of the 'angel of mercy'. And the killing of a priest by his own hands.

This book, whilst claiming to be a comedy fails at it. Don't get me wrong. It is a good read, but what comical moments there are, are overshadowed by the story itself.

The plot-line and characters are strong, and it allows the story to flow seamlessly.

There are a handful of locations, that are returned to on numerous occasions, to allow the build up for the next part to come to life.

The only downside, is that the title takes forever and a day to type.

Joe, a cop, is now working in the capacity of "School Officer". At the start, he is in Ms. Capulet's 2nd grade classroom doing an anti-drug talk. Doing a faltering job, Joe is eventually asked to leave the classroom. He does return the next day and the two talk together and become on better terms.

It becomes evident that Joe has had a number of complaints this year as a school officer. He noted something unusual in Ms Capulet's classroom and brings this thought to his Captain. The Captain thinks Joe is "crying wolf" yet says he can look into it.

His desk (he used as a former detective) had been pushed into a corner. Struggling to place his desk back, he meets new officer Coltrane. This new officer tells Joe that he was his inspiration to be a cop - actually he rates Joe as a hero. Joe explains to Coltrane how a girl student absent on the day of his talk is back in school the day after. Something about this seems odd he tells Coltrane. Coltrane promises to help Joe by doing a computer search. Additionally, Ms. Capulet (after Joe explains all to her, too) is in on the possible student problem,,, Things just don't add up for him...

The reader gradually finds out what had happened to Joe in his life when he "went off the rails" as a police detective.

An engaging story with great characterization!

Many Thanks to BooksGoSocial / Madison Press and NetGalley for a great read!

#ThingstoDoWhenYoudRatherbeDead #NetGalley
Thanks NetGalley, BooksGoSocial and Michael Guillebeau for an ARC to review.
True it's not the most original detective story, but the writing style and characters building is excellent. I loved the characters and it would be nice if there is more of Joe and Juliet again. Not your typical flawless 30 something stereotype heroes, fat old failures whom you won't help but loving.

A Dark Comedy Mystery it says on the cover. It's dark and though I laughed, I would not call this a comedy. It's a sad, sad tale of a man that has lost everything and more and more comes to realize that the serial killer everyone believes is dead, is not.

I liked the deadpan style of the narrator. And perhaps there are many comical situation, such as when Brosset has to attend a church service in a cop clown's suit and forgets that his mic is on, or Johnson's were washed up cops go to forget and be forgotten.

Well plotted and very entertaining.

The title...THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU'D RATHER BE DEAD...refers to how Joe must live his life since his family was murdered and it thinks it was his fault. He received the city's gratitude for killing The Angel of Mercy, a serial killer of children, but Joe is positive the wrong man died. So while he waits to die, Joe searches for The Angel and serves as a community liaison to area schools as a clownish version of a policeman. This is Joe's back story...a pretty solid beginning for what comes after.

Joe may be down but he's not completely out. He still has a few friends, men like himself, waiting for what comes next and a few young cops who only knew his outstanding service record before. He has also become friends with a local school teacher who will be instrumental when the time comes to stop the killings.

Billed as a comedy, I didn't see a lot to laugh at. The story has its moments that are more entertaining, but the book itself is a really decent mystery/ thriller. It deserves a lot more respect than the title allows but don't let that stop you from reading this book. It could actually be a good launch for a series as long as the same cast of characters comes back.

“Sometimes it feels like you're drawn by a Looney Tunes cartoonist on a bad day.”

Things To Do When You’d Rather Be Dead is the seventh novel by American author, Michael Guillebeau. Detective Third Joe Brosette of the Birmingham PD has been assigned, despite his unhappy demeanour and his obvious unsuitability, by the PD’s Community Affairs to visit schools for drug and safety talks. His down time is filled at Johnson’s Bar, filling up on unhealthy food and rum in the company of disgraced, retired or almost-retired cops.

Joe is two years a widower; his wife and daughter were murdered by the Angel of Mercy. He shot dead their murderer, the man he is supposed to believe was the serial child killer he had been pursuing. But Joe isn’t convinced the man he shot is the Angel of Mercy. Trouble is, he can’t convince the Birmingham PD. So he does this menial job: cop in a clown suit.

But he’s still a detective, and he can’t help what he notices, and before long, he’s a hero, having saved a second-grader’s life. Ms Juliet Capulet, second grade teacher at Morningside Elementary School, initially irritated by Officer Joe, is impressed with the result, and does some research on this grumpy cop.

A former prosecutor, Juliet soon inserts herself into Joe’s life, determined to help him track down the killer he believes is still at large. They are quickly joined by young Detective First Coltrane, and are soon (too soon?) on the trail of a suspect. Joe is getting calls from someone purporting to be the Angel. He tells Juliet: "I'm a cop. You can do your job better if you don't have doubts or beliefs. Just collecting facts. If you let yourself believe things too early, you turn from an investigator to a hunter. And you make mistakes."

But then he fails to take his own advice: untold damage is done, police careers are ruined and one officer almost dies. And still the Angel calls, taunting that the next one will be “big”. Brosette, Capulet and Coltrane can’t give up, but they’ll need back up: enter the reprobates from Johnson’s Bar.

Guillebeau gives the reader a clever little murder mystery filled with action and appealing characters (with whose names the author does have a bit of fun). Love, grief and body image get a look in. This is a very entertaining read.
This unbiased review is from an uncorrected proof copy provided by NetGalley and Books Go Social.