Prey Tell

Why We Silence Women Who Tell the Truth and How Everyone Can Speak Up

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Pub Date 16 Mar 2021 | Archive Date 2 Apr 2021

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Description

"A welcome book offering an important wake-up call to the Christian community and beyond."--Gail Eubanks, Library Journal

Tiffany Bluhm wishes this wasn't her story to tell. Yet like many women today who are taking action against sexual harassment and sexual assault, it is. Bluhm explores the complex dynamics of power and abuse in systems we all find ourselves in. With honesty and strength, she tells stories of how women have overcome silence to expose the truth about their ministry and professional leaders--and the backlash they so often face. In so doing, she empowers others to speak up against abuses of power.

Addressing men and women in all work settings--within the church and beyond--popular author and podcast host Tiffany Bluhm sets out to understand the cultural and spiritual narratives that silence women and to illuminate the devastating emotional, financial, and social impact of silence in the face of injustice.

As readers journey with Bluhm, they will be moved to find their own way, their own voice, and their own conviction for standing with women. They'll emerge more ready than ever to advocate for justice, healing, and resurrection.
"A welcome book offering an important wake-up call to the Christian community and beyond."--Gail Eubanks, Library Journal

Tiffany Bluhm wishes this wasn't her story to tell. Yet like many women today...

Advance Praise

“Prey Tell is a devastating look at how culture, theology, and economics combine to uphold abusers and to silence those who try and speak the truth in our day and age. Tiffany Bluhm lays out all the ways it costs women to speak up, inviting us into the terror of this situation while also asking us to grapple with our own role in enabling this cycle to continue. A must-read—a truly difficult read—for anyone who longs to see justice upheld in our world.”—D. L. Mayfield, author of The Myth of the American Dream: Reflections on Affluence, Autonomy, Safety, and Power 

“In what is at once a gut punch to the silencing of women as well as a call to action for the church to create a more just and equitable world, Bluhm leads the way by doing with this book what we all need to do—break the silence, tell the truth, believe women, protect the survivors, and end sexualized violence against girls and women. By illuminating both how predatory behavior occurs and the systemic forces that keep it from being spoken about or believed, Prey Tell reminds us that the church is not absolved from the legacy of sexualized violence, nor is it exempt from the responsibility of repairing unjust systems. The church is precisely the community that needs to be leading the way toward a future where all women are both safe and free.”—Hillary McBride, psychologist, author, speaker, and podcaster 

“Fueled by her lived experience and well-executed and helpful research and reporting, Bluhm bravely paints a poignant picture of the damage of unchecked misogyny both within and outside the church. Exploring the intersection of gender, race, class, and religion, she candidly calls out the evil of the abuse of power while maintaining hope for a brighter future. I am so grateful for Tiffany’s courage and cogency and the role this book will play in our collective fight for justice, restoration, and dignity.”—Liz Forkin Bohannon, CEO of Sseko Designs; author of Beginner’s Pluck: Build Your Life of Purpose and Impact Now 

“For too long the voices of women and girls who suffer violence have been marginalized, ignored, or worse, silenced within communities of faith and beyond. The global church has all too often stood by while the stories of the suffering of women at the hands of powerful abusers went untold. Tiffany Bluhm has lived this silence and out of the ashes written a clarion call to action, challenging our culture of deafening silence with her story and wisdom. Prey Tell is an absolute must-read book for our age, breathing courage into survivor and ally alike—reminding the world that silence is not spiritual and action is not optional.”—Belinda J. Bauman, author of Brave Souls: Experiencing the Audacious Power of Empathy; cofounder of #SilenceIsNotSpiritual 

“Prey Tell offers an urgent word to followers of Jesus, challenging the church to believe women and form cultures that protect the vulnerable, advocate for victims, and practice transparency. If you care about the church’s culture and witness, buy Prey Tell in bulk.”—Bryan Halferty, lead pastor of Anchor Church, Tacoma, Washington 

“I read this excellent book with a mixture of gratitude and sadness: gratitude for the wisdom offered for leaders in the church and beyond who are charged with handling reports of sexual harassment and abuse, and sadness that I did not have this tool sooner. Tiffany Bluhm weaves her own experiences with carefully researched information that sheds light where we most need to see and face the truth. I encourage you to read with an open mind and heart, ready and willing to play your part as an advocate for justice and healing. We can and must do better.”—Nancy Beach, leadership coach, Slingshot Group; author of Gifted to Lead: The Art of Leading as a Woman in the Church 

“I’ve often believed that something is wrong when we have believers who are passionate for God yet who lack compassion for the wounded and interest in the truth. Tiffany’s story is a compelling and necessary look into what happens when ‘loyalty at all cost’ is put before truth. Her words are a clarion call to believers to finally do the work of holding genuine space for the wounded and the abused, especially when that means having to be critical of ourselves and our institutions.”—Leslie Nwoke, founder, HeartWork Now 

“As a survivor of abuse and exploitation, I have discovered the undeniable power of breaking the silence. Vocalizing our experiences and pain is a necessary step toward healing and freedom. In Prey Tell, Tiffany provides readers with two invaluable gifts: brilliantly excavated insight into the systems and practices that silence women, and a roadmap to finding our voices and helping others to find theirs. This timely and important work is sure to open eyes, shatter barriers, and unleash justice.”—Harmony Grillo, author of Scars and Stilettos; founder of Treasures 

“Prey Tell sounds the alarm on both the obvious and more subtle forms of misogyny that are all too common—both inside and outside the church today. Tiffany educates readers on the systems and practices that silence women through eye-opening statistics and paradigm-shifting Scripture. Every chapter is filled with silence-breakers sharing their stories of harassment and assault, and through their brave honesty, readers are invited to advocate for a better path forward. As a woman in church leadership for close to two decades, I believe this book is an absolute must-read! In these pages men and women alike will find comfort, healing, hope, and real solutions for a more just tomorrow.”—Nicole Smithee, CEO and co-founder of Iridescent Women 

“In Prey Tell, Tiffany Bluhm brings passion, insightful research, and biblical conviction to the problem of the harassment, manipulation, and silencing of women. As one who has experienced this treatment while also finding healing and wholeness on the other side, Tiffany is uniquely positioned to help the reader understand not only why and how this abuse happens but also the practical actions each one of us can take to stop it. As a man who serves in leadership, this book will help me to serve as an advocate for the women around me.”—Bobby Arkills, executive director, Tacoma Area Youth for Christ 

“I devoured Prey Tell in one sitting. Every page is rich with compelling true stories, Scripture, and statistics that describe the experiences of women everywhere. Tiffany offers hope for the future, strength for the reader, and solutions for creating communities where women are helped and not harmed. Men and women in positions of leadership, as well as women recovering from abuses of power, will benefit from the wisdom and insight Tiffany provides. This book is timely and necessary.”—Ashley Abercrombie, author of Rise of the Truth Teller; cohost of the Why Tho podcast 

“For anyone wondering how abuse happens, and why a victim of abuse might not speak up for years, Bluhm does an exquisite job dissecting the factors of power that come into play—gender, discrimination, wealth, and seniority—and creates a map to understanding the dynamics that make abuse possible. She then provides steps to allyship in the fight toward building safe systems that dignify women. This is an important read for anyone who’s been silenced or done the silencing: in short, everyone.”—Blythe Hill, CEO and founder, Dressember Foundation 

“Tiffany Bluhm offers clear, concise, and compelling insights on the whys and hows of the silencing of women, offering straightforward steps to end it. Putting the reader in the mind of the silenced, Bluhm offers understanding, sympathy, and ways to act on their behalf. She quashes the all-too-common stereotypes and myths about abuse with well-documented and thorough research. If you want to grow in your love and advocacy for women, read this book. My copy is chock-full of highlights. I will return to it again and again.”—Eric Schumacher, coauthor of Worthy: Celebrating the Value of Women; cohost of the Worthy podcast with Elyse Fitzpatrick

“Prey Tell is a devastating look at how culture, theology, and economics combine to uphold abusers and to silence those who try and speak the truth in our day and age. Tiffany Bluhm lays out all...


Available Editions

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ISBN 9781587434785
PRICE US$17.99 (USD)
PAGES 192

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Featured Reviews

Well researched, calm, clear and powerful. Everyone - man, woman, personal experience of the issues or not, christian or otherwise should read this book. It highlights issues that are key in our society and in the church today.
I found myself, seething, fired up, desperately upset and deeply convicted reading it. It is important and I will recommending it far and wide.

A note to publishers - this book is excellent. I want as many people to read it as possible and I don’t think the description reflects just how powerful it is. It would be disappointing if the sell meant people who would benefit passed it by. I think by starting with referencing Tiffany’s story, which isn’t actually detailed (and doesn’t need to be) it makes it sound more like a magazine real life or a TV special. It’s far more intelligent and well researched than that implies.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for an advanced copy of the title in exchange for this impartial review.

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Odds are most women have experienced some sort of sexual harassment, misconduct, or abuse. Prey Tell by Tiffany Bluhm sheds light on this darkness. If you’ve ever wondered, why did it take her so long to say something, why did she put herself in that position, or why did she stay in proximity to him? Instead, why don’t we ask her how did she live with that pain for so long, and why did she keep quiet? Read Prey Tell.
Prey Tell will brings awareness of abuse of power and the physical, financial, and relational toll it takes on people, and why we fear saying anything. This book is healing and inspiring, challenging and convicting. Not a easy read, but a necessary one. Take the time to learn. Speak up for yourself and others.

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This book is SO important. Well-researched, powerful, and highly relevant words about the ways that our culture and especially the church culture has failed to protect and uphold the dignity of women. Short and very clear, this should be required reading for any church staff member who is truly committed to women's empowerment. Our churches should be the absolute safest places for vulnerable people, rather than protecting abusers and creating dangerous environments for truth-tellers. Bluhm gives practical action steps for both men and women who wish to be allies to victims of abuse and also work to create healthier cultures and systems in their churches and organizations.

The hyper-focused nature of the book means that several parts are a bit redundant. I was also hoping to see more of Bluhm's personal story and experience. Still, this is a fantastic book and will be a great resource for the church!

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My hope is that "Prey Tell" will open the hearts and minds of those who have silenced women, those who have protected men who have abused or taken advantage of women and change the structures and institutions that have fed the silencing over time. The book helped to answer many questions and clarify confusion I had in my own mind about how I can educate others and speak up when others are silenced. The tie with scripture, the real-world examples of abuse of power, assault of women and the cover-ups and systems that allow victimization to continue were compelling. I cannot get enough of Ms. Bluhm's content and and so glad I was led to this book which equips us with tools and guidance on how to speak up when women are silenced.

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"As much as we'd love to believe that the church might handle misconduct differently than mainstream culture, there is no wrath quite like the wrath of holy men caught in the transgressions they condemn."

This is, unfortunately, an all-too-timely book, as the truth of the quote above continues to surface in ministry settings. I appreciated Bluhm's attentiveness to harassment and abuse in church circles, not just in wider culture--I actually wish there had been more of an exclusive focus on how these evils are perpetuated in the church specifically. But this book is an important open door to conversations that must--MUST--take place, no matter where we work or worship.

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Prey Tell invites us to join such an important conversation and journey. It is truth in love. It is gritty, relatable, and gentle enough to help walk one through how and what to do when faced with harmful imbalance of power. Whether you are raising tiny humans and trying to break generational habits that do not and never have served you or your children well or in a shaky workplace and do not want to tip toe around this subject anymore, this book can help strengthen that deep still voice. Prey Tell is an empowering book, a graceful approach to an incredibly difficult topic.

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"Prey Tell" may not necessarily be a "fun" book to read, but it is very necessary and timely. Author Tiffany Bluhm shares her own personal story about sexual assault and its lasting effects. I especially appreciated how this book focused specifically on dealing with these issues within churches and ministries, as I feel that this concept has not been researched enough. I also enjoyed how Bluhm tied in the biblical stories of Rahab and Tamar to current-day sexual misconduct issues.

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. All opinions are my own.

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An incredible, unflinching read on the positions women are put in through this patriarchal society and what actions can be taken for everyone to work towards a society where we value everyone's lived experiences, believe their trauma, and further prevent the vicious cycle.

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SO MANY THOUGHTS. First, the writing is engaging and the research is strong. The content is heavy, but Bluhm navigates the subject matter in a really compelling way. Her book is a powerful and convicting read highlighting why we silence women and how to stand up in Christian faith and speak truth to power.

One of the most fascinating parts of the book to me was her discussion of the “Just World Theory,” which is essentially the idea that we want to believe that the world is a just, fair place, and that we choose not to believe women who have been preyed upon because we WANT to believe that they somehow deserved what was coming to them. Because if we don’t believe that, it could happen to us or to our daughters. Whoa.

Another part of the book that I found compelling was her discussion of purity culture and how this mindset has shaped the way that we see sexual harassment. (For the record, I want to toot my own horn here and say that I feel like a truth-teller before my time because I was one of the few in my Christian high school who thought I Kissed Dating Goodbye was nonsense and strongly advocated against it.😜) Bluhm is quick to point out all of the positives that came from this culture, but she also rightly addresses how this way of thinking silences women and that women who grew up in this culture have essentially been groomed to believe that sexual harassment is somehow our fault. The whole purity culture discussion is a fascinating one that extends way beyond the scope of my post on this book, but its connection to this conversation was eye-opening for me.

Key Quotes:

“What if we could hold space for women who have been harmed, who have been humiliated, and who have been silenced? Lament alongside them? Ensure them that they are seen, that their stories matter, and that they will be treated with the utmost care? What if our churches, kitchen tables, and faith gatherings were the safest of places for them to process those experiences? What if silence weren’t spiritual? What if we not only listened but also committed to the process of healing? Of wholeness?”

“The Last Adam empowers the daughters of Eve, and so must we.”

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I think Prey Tell is incredibly an important book for those in any sort of religious environment. Growing up evangelical/sb, I can attest that these things are not talked about. Tiffany does a good job of explaining why women are silenced and, more disturbingly, not believed in these environments and the world beyond them. I would recommend this book to anyone, but I believe it to be an incredibly valuable resource for someone who needs a starting point in understanding how and why women are silenced and what can be done to change this societal misstep

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