An Accidental Royal Kidnap

A Comedy Novel (Royally Funny Book 1)

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Pub Date 24 Nov 2020 | Archive Date 31 Jan 2021

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Description

When London schoolteacher George Nearly wakes up one Sunday morning to find a dishevelled young woman sprawled on his living-room rug, claiming to be a princess, his plans for a peaceful day at home recovering from his 39th birthday party disappear faster than a French monarch's head during a revolution. And when the feisty royal accuses George of kidnapping her, his very ordinary life is turned completely upside down, as the party princess takes root in his apartment, causes royal waves among his friends and family, and demands to go walkabout on the streets of London. It’s blue-blooded British comedy by unofficial royal appointment in this hilarious, and often surreal, regal romp that’s guaranteed to raise a laugh from Balmoral to Buckingham Palace!

The first novel in the Royally Funny Books series 

This very British comedy novel is the first in a series starring reluctant hero George Nearly, the unpredictable Princess Araminta of Essex (‘Minty’ to her friends) and a host of other quirky characters – all of whom make Mad King George seem like a perfectly sane individual. Royals and commoners collide in these uniquely English adventures that lovers of comedy fiction around the former British Empire and beyond will enjoy. And if you’re reading this, Your Majesty … we guarantee that you will be amused, ma’am!

When London schoolteacher George Nearly wakes up one Sunday morning to find a dishevelled young woman sprawled on his living-room rug, claiming to be a princess, his plans for a peaceful day at home...


Advance Praise

"Danielle (Amazon UK): Absolutely sidesplittingly hilarious! I could not put this book down and read it in one sitting! If you want a lighthearted read then you cannot go wrong with this book!

JC Johnson (Amazon US): Classic British humor at its goofiest. George, our hapless main character, patiently narrates his first-person, stream-of-consciousness account of a week when absolutely NOTHING would go right. I mean, if a princess shows up in your living room and decides you must have kidnapped her... whaddaya gonna do?

Zoe (Amazon UK): Brilliant, funny book. You know it's going to be a fun read with the first chapter. Lots of laugh out loud moments. Truly needed after the year we have had in 2020. "

"Danielle (Amazon UK): Absolutely sidesplittingly hilarious! I could not put this book down and read it in one sitting! If you want a lighthearted read then you cannot go wrong with this book!

JC...


Available Editions

ISBN 9798697647615
PRICE US$7.99 (USD)

Average rating from 23 members


Featured Reviews

Firstly, thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me to read a copy of this book.

This book follows the protagonist, George Nearly, an 'average' schoolteacher who wakes up the morning after his 39th birthday celebrations to discover a woman, Minty, sleeping on his favourite rug. She claims to be a princess, and insists that George has kidnapped her (but only for the week, until her sister's wedding is over!). George and Minty then spend the week together, engaging in a variety of cringe worthy and hilarious activities.

I really enjoyed this book! The humour is fantastic and Paul Mathews absolutely nails the banter between the characters.

The author manages to include the reader in the book by having the George communicate to the reader throughout the story, referring to them as his 'trusty coping-mechanism friend'. This involvement in the book takes the reading experience to a whole new level.

I am looking forward to reading the next book in this series, and ready more about George and Minty's adventures.

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This book was such a delight! George Nearly is an English teacher in his late 30s who wakes up the morning after his birthday festivities to find a strange woman asleep on his rug. As if this wasn't strange enough, the woman also claims to be a princess. Trying to get out of attending her sister's wedding, Princess Araminta (Minty) comes to the conclusion that George has kidnapped her and she agrees to stay with him until Sunday -- the day after the wedding. Hilarity ensues.

There's something about British humor that I can't put my finger on, but that I absolutely adore. I loved watching George as he came to grips with the fact that he really does have a princess in his living room, and he really is not getting rid of her. The interactions between Minty and George's mother were absolute perfection, and watching the "party princess" do normal things such as go to a fast food establishment were just so amusing. It definitely made me want a Minty in my life.

There were one or two spots that I thought were a little slow, but overall I thoroughly enjoyed myself and look forward to the sequel!

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I already recommended this book and it was a great success !
The story telling is so clever, you cannot guess who is the kidnapper. And the great news is ... the story continues to unfold in a second book ! Book number 1, an accidental Royal Kidnap is complete in itself, the ending reaches a cycle in the series, and the author, Paul Mathews uses with brio several types of sense of humour in his settings, dialogues, monologues, and actions. The rythm is excellent and it's impossible to get tired once you have started to read. This isn't a satyre or a comedy with expected cues and ending, it is much more refine. the plot starts with an encounter, which develops into several adventures. All seems surreal but so rooted in reality that there is only one solution : to read more to smile and laugh more and simply enjoy.
Writing to make people smile and laugh is the most difficult task ever, especially in 2021 Paul Mathews with this book is achieving a tour de force and a master piece of the genre.
All opinions are mine, I received an advanced copy from NetGalley.

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I usually read fairly serious, historical or factual books and it's been a long time since I read anything this light-hearted. I presumed it would turn out to be a romance and I would hate it.... I have never been so wrong about anything!! Firstly, not a romance (albeit for a few flirty details) and secondly.. I LOVED IT!
George Nearly is one of the most endearing characters I have come across in a book - quiet, clever, slightly boring and loves his own space and most importantly his goldfish. He is exactly the sort of character that you want to follow through a whirlwind week with a royal princess, who threatens to turn his entire life upside down, and break his ugly coffee table. Going through this experience with George as the narrator was a hilarious, cringe and insightful journey that I definitely enjoyed.
The best thing about this book has to be the humour. I presumed from the title and concept it would be in jest, and not the most serious book ever written, but I didn't expect to spend 2 evenings sat cackling and snorting unattractively over poor George and the hilarious Princess Minty. The sarcasm, digs at real royals and royal events, and George's incredibly mentally dense friends proved to be absolutely what I needed in a book and didn't even know I needed!
If you're reading this review, you absolutely need to read this book! and keep an eye out for Book 2 coming summer 2021. I am already buzzing for it and it's gone straight on my list of books to watch for.

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I read it complete in an evening! A highly improbable situation is the start of a lighthearted comedy where an average professor wakes up without any memories of his 39th birthday party just to stumble upon a woman flat faced upon his rug. She spins a story about wanting to lay low until her sister's wedding party and then it all starts to unfold.

It's really funny, agile and takes you to explore all of London.

If any, my only complaint is that I require now the next book in the series ASAP.

Greatly recommended!

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The synopsis of An Accidental Royal Kidnap promises a strong dose of humour, and it lived up to its' promise. I was indeed very, very amused while reading.

This book tells the tale of George Nearly, a very British school teacher, who wakes up on a Sunday morning after a night out to find a dishevelled and feisty young woman on the floor of his home who claims to be a princess.

This was a fresh, quirky and funny take on the comedy fiction genre with some very unique and memorable voices in the form of wonderfully wacky characters. The main characters had great chemistry between them, there was a whole host of great secondary characters and a rather wild but light-hearted plot.

At times this story was over-the-top, but it just worked perfectly and I can't wait to read the next instalment in the Royally Funny series.

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What else can I say about this book other than it is the best of British humour! Everything about it from start to finish had me laughing out loud. I loved the writing style. From the beginning it captured the reader as apart of the story. Think peep show and how the characters talk to the audience though the lens but in written form. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and was very pleased to find that Minty and Georges story will be continued in 2021. From this book alone Paul Mathews will be one I forever look out for.

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A fun read.

George Nearly is a boring English teacher who finds himself in an unexpected adventure when he discovers a princess in his flat after his surprise birthday party. She says he kidnapped her!

Minty (the kidnapped princess) grows on a person and makes George become a slightly more interesting person, taking him totally out of his comfort zone.

The book ends on a cliffhanger which makes me look forward to Book 2 to see what new chaos Minty drags dull George into.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for allowing me to read this book.

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There's something about a book character named George. they can be one of 3 things: all somewhat charming in their own way.
1. a small grubby full of questions and questioning boy;
2. a scruffy mongrel dog inevitably rolling in whatever smelt the worst;
3. an Englishman. recognizable by leather elbow patches, cricket flannels too baggy. a domineering mother. a loser group of friends. and a loser girlfriend with a lack lustre love life.
Guess which George we had here. And no, he didn't wear flannels and elbow patches but close!
Amusing story here as George clearly had no idea what he was about and how to deal with strange arrival in his life. But a happy ending and all was well through a series of amusing episodes. Nicely written and full of expectations fulfilled.

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George Nearly is a 39-year-old bachelor school teacher who is precise in his speech, and is fond of sweaters, his fish, and living alone in his well-organized flat. I was fascinated by his favorite colors which include avocado, tangerine, and turquoise. George is narrating this story to us, the readers. It worked well for this book.

He wakes up the morning after his birthday party to discover a young woman asleep and drooling on his prized avocado and turquoise rug (ouch, those colors). When she woke up, she claimed that she was Princess Araminta of Essex (Minty) and that he had kidnapped her, presumably from the pub where his birthday party was held. I wasn't sure even at the end of the book if Minty was really Princess Araminta. The whole book had me smiling, but there were two hilarious scenes that had me laughing out loud. One was when George was fending off unwanted overtures from an older woman and the other was when he was detained for loitering in the women's underwear section of a department store.

This is a very readable, funny book where the characters seem to careen from one disaster to another. If you are in the mood for grammatically correct humor and royal hijinks, then you will likely enjoy this book. This is the first book of a two-book series and is not a standalone book. Both books are already published and available for purchase.

I was fortunate to receive an ARC of this book from the publisher and Netgalley but also purchased my own copy. It was my pleasure to read and review this book.

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I did not finish this book. Sorry I just could not get into this one, but thank you for the opportunity!

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this book gave me a lot of laughs, I really enjoyed reading this book and getting to know the characters. It was a fun plot and I enjoyed reading this.

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This was such a cute story. I've always been interested in the royal family and this was a fun twist. I am definitely going to have to read the next book in the series because this one left you with quite a cliffhanger!

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An accidental royal kidnap by Paul Mathews

English teacher George wakes up after celebrating his 39th birthday to find a strange woman on his lounge rug. She claims to be a Princess that he has kidnapped for a week. The story of George and the pampered princess in the normal world in fast food outlets with the very typical English single middle aged minis chringy and humours all at once as George struggles with it all .

A really well written humorous light hearted read to lift the spirits.

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