The Selfless Act of Breathing

I love the title: The Selfless Act of Breathing. Breathing is something we do unconsciously. And it’s important to do so because if we stop breathing we die. It’s as simple as that. But what if we don’t want to breath anymore?

Michael is a Congolese British teacher and seems to have it all: friends, a love interest, a wonderful job. But he’s tired all the time and looks up to everything. He becomes depressed, and decides to flee to America after a loss, wanting to end his life once his savings run out.

The writing of this heartfelt story is engaging and lyrical, almost like prose. I could quote so many beautiful sentences, all giving food for thought. Alternating between present and past, The Selfless Act of Breathing slowly reveals more and more about Michael’s depression. By using present tense, third person in the present and past tense, first person in the past, the story is active and never boring.

This book is not only about depression and wanting to die. It’s also about being born in another country, about belonging, about loneliness, about being Black, about losing loved ones, about masculinity, and finally about hope. Although the themes are heavy, and the writing is lyrical, this story is very easy readable. I read it in a couple of sittings. Highly recommended!

Publication on Goodreads: 19 October 2021

It's quite hard to quantify this book. For one, I am not black, secondly I am not male so this could potentially have been meaningless to me. I am also a good deal older than the protagonist. However, I really did find myself connecting and empathising with Michael who takes his life savings, goes to the USA to blow it all and at the end kill himself. Maybe it was the places he chose in the US that resonated. They are all places I know. The poet reading I particularly loved. We can all feel very lost and not know our way. Age, gender, colour doesn't matter in this sense. Michael's journey was not very cheerful it has to be said but J.J. Bola created a painting in a book that helped us see depression and the effect it has and also to discuss this feeling of loss, confusion, fear and trepidation a lot of us have along the way and try and make some sense of it all.
Two minor irks. Inconsistent use of US/UK spellings in the book (please pick UK all the way through but US for the US bits I could cope with) The text in some places was incredibly faint and hard to read.
I'm not sure how I wanted the book to end but the ending is a good one. This book will stay with me for a long time

An emotional read that will stay with me.
A steady pace, nothing slow and nothing rushed. Perfect!
I loved this book – I lost my whole day reading – just couldn't bare to put it down!

Can't wait for more people to read this book. It's so brutally honest and nuanced. I need more books like this

Jj bola - the selfless act of breathing

Following the concise, thoughtful and prescient ‘Mask Off’, JJ Bola continues to probe blackness, masculinities and mental health in the selfless act of breathing.

Bola employs a dual timeline structure to tell the story of Michael, a teacher from an unnamed area of London who struggles to cope with the relentless pressures of his life, and makes the decision to withdraw all his savings, flee to America, and spend it all before committing suicide.

The way Bola utilises male characters throughout the novel to dissect the inconsistencies, fragility and damage of toxic masculinities is wonderful, though it could be argued that the novel is longer than it needs to be.

Well, wow. The writing in this book was so lyrical and beautiful despite the tough subject matter. i loved the deep insight into the community in London which this novel was set and the touches of American culture when the protagonist travels in the USA. The author's musings on the world show that he definitely has a lot to say about being a black british man and the different racial and class issues in Britain and the US:

"Resentment for the Other has always existed, they merely did not yet have the power to act upon it".

"They create the Other and then resent them for being it".

One thing that annoyed me SO MUCH about the writer's style in this book, however, was that he would switch the narrative from first person to third person constantly. He did it so much that for the first half of this book i was convinced that there were two protagonists.

Once i got used to this narrative shift, i really couldnt put this book down and finished it in two days. Bola has some beautiful prose woven into this story and the last page had me on the verge of tears. I'll definitely be looking out for more of Bola's work in the future.

"It is easier to kill another than it is to kill oneself. The most powerful instinct in nature is survival; to stay alive, and whomsoever overcomes it has great strength, not weakness".

This book is stunning. You can tell from the title that the writing is going to be a lyrical beauty and it did not disappoint. It is a serious and heavy book but also with the specific levity of utter relatability in both being a Londoner, and being a Londoner who has visited the US (San Francisco in particular for me).

This book is about Michael, who at the very beginning decides to withdraw all his money, travel to the US and when his money runs out commit suicide. It follows his time in the US alongside flashbacks to his time back in London where he works as a teacher so that by the end of the book you understand how and why he began this journey. It’s utterly heart-breaking alongside being a joy to read and each character is fully realised and clearly driven by their own motives, personality, and goals – and you see that from Michael’s specific point of view. I can’t express how much it felt like I knew all of these people by the end of the book. It made me want to contact my friends and check if they are okay instead of being miffed that they haven’t got back to me.

There are some really beautiful and poignant moments in the book and I completely believed the narrative. It blew me away. Also the cover art is so gorgeous. The title is gorgeous. The contents did not disappoint. I wish I could read this again for the first time.