Nothing Without Me

I have read (including this one) all 3 books by Helen Monks Takhar and I would recommend her work to anyone. It really keeps you hooked and I always read her books in one sitting because I NEED to know what happens next!

4.5 rounded up

Wow, this latest novel from the talented Helen Monks Takhar sure packs a punch or two. This is April Eden and Essie (Esther) Lays’s story. April is now a writer and film director with her debut film “The Vanished Woman” being well received and up for awards. Her leading lady is Essie, once the darling of daytime TV, whose success spectacularly derails. This is Essie’s chance of redemption, an opportunity to re-kickstart her stalled career, but it’s also Aprils big chance. On the night of an award ceremony, April receives a disturbing phone call from Essie. April rushes to her home, accompanied by her boyfriend, Jags (Jagdeep), and there is faced with tragedy. What to do? The story is told in the present day and backtracks to several years ago when the two women meet on a daytime television set. The twisty and unpredictable novel looks at the high price of fame that is often paid by women, at the ‘cult’ of celebrity and all the pressure that comes with that especially the demands and judgements.

I don’t quite know where to start with this because there are so many layers to the storytelling. I suppose it begins and ends with all the characters whose portrayal is excellent. Essie has a magnetic personality and April is drawn to her like a moth to a flame but she is also very vulnerable and as the plot progresses you realise just how damaged she is. This is also true of April and although her motives are often questionable they can equally be understood. Essie’s family dynamics shock to the core, leaving a sour and bitter taste in the mouth. There are blurred lines between Essie and her role in The Vanished Woman and I love the way this plays out.

April and Essie encounter and endure things they should never have to, there is lack of choice, who ‘owns’ you, the toll that fake it till you make it has on mental wellbeing and the frequently exorbitant price of media scrutiny. They navigate rejection, exploitation, gaslighting, betrayal and lies on an enormous scale. Yet the burden of guilt they carry is huge - often when others should bear that load. It becomes a truly shocking twisted tale with some creepy, messy gameplay although who is the cat and who is the mouse is a ‘moveable feast’. Do they fall into the dangerous traps set and tumble into snake pits? That would be telling but what I can say is that it becomes dark, extremely powerful and my jaw drops on several occasions especially towards the end. My suspicion antenna twitches furiously back and forth as revelations emerge but I certainly don’t figure it all out by any means. Once the truth is out in the open it makes you feel both angry and sad - as it should.

I love the way this is written, it’s a slow burner that builds alongside a feeling of dread. There are clever metaphors which signal things of real significance and I love the way you are led this way and that. What price fame, eh.

With thanks to NetGalley and especially to HQ for the much appreciated arc in return for an honest review.

Amazing book!
I was thoroughly engaged throughout this book and I didn't want to put it down! The author captured my attention from the get go! Five stars from me :)

#NothingWithoutMe #NetGalley
April Eden is about to have the night of her life. The Vanished Woman, the film she wrote and directed is up for a raft of major awards. Her leading lady, Essie Lay, is on the cusp of a stunning comeback after the disturbing scandal that ended her small-screen career a year before. When Essie messages April to say she can’t face the ceremony, April presumes nerves and goes to her Hampstead mansion to persuade her to attend. Instead, April finds Essie dead in her swimming pool. In that moment, April makes an agonising decision, which will force her onto a course of action she couldn’t have imagined. If she is to find out what happened – and protect her own freedom – April is going to find herself face to face with some of the most powerful people in her industry, unforeseen dangers, and discomfiting truths from Essie’s and her own past.
Thanks to NetGalley and HQ for giving me an advance copy.