“Don’t come back until you’ve done something in life! Lounging around here as if the world owed you a living. Over two thousand years old, and you still haven’t held down a proper job! What does it say on your CV? Messiah? Go and get some qualifications for Christ’s sake!”

And with that, God slammed heaven’s gate in Jesus’ face with a resounding crash. Jesus, with a troubled look on his face, tried the gate. He pulled and heaved but it wouldn’t budge an inch. And then he distinctly heard the bolts being slid across – God obviously meant business.

Earth has been waiting for over two millennium for the Messiah to pay a visit. That is until, one day, God bans Jesus from Heaven and sends him back to Earth – where he is promptly kidnapped. Unfortunately God is out to lunch, so it is left to the most motley crew of teenagers to save Jesus’ life. But what can a sarky cripple, a moany epileptic, a hulk-sized youth with Down’s syndrome and a would-be spiderboy do against a sleekly organised anti-Christ group?

Not a lot, as it turns out – one by one they succumb, until just one is left. Running scared and with no one to turn to for help, he has a race against time to save his friends’ lives and the hopes of mankind...

The New Disciples and the Second Coming is a story bursting with suspense and unexpected turns of events. Nothing is quite what it seems and nothing will ever be the same again. This funny, irreverent children’s novel is for readers aged 11-15.

E.H. Black has worked as a barman, postman, milkman, farm hand, yoga teacher, roadie, Remand Prison teacher, TEFL teacher and landscape gardener. He now lives in Scotland with his Russian wife and four children, although he did spend a few years living in a tent in a forest in the West Country.