How to Steal a Train
by M.C. Schmidt
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Pub Date 3 Jun 2025 | Archive Date 31 May 2025
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Description
The ten literary stories in HOW TO STEAL A TRAIN are empathetic and often humorous, spotlighting a unique setting or circumstance to reveal a relatable human truth. Individual stories from this collection have appeared in The Saturday Evening Post, Eclectica, Bombay Literary Magazine, and elsewhere.
A grieving man has an unexpected encounter while traveling to meet Elvira, the Mistress of the Dark to honor his recently deceased mother (The Dream Girls). A failing business owner who makes playing dead a competitive sport has a shocking realization when she attempts the game herself (The Craft of Playing Dead). Three film students document a supposedly true case of stigmata in a small Ohio town (The Ohio Stigmata of 2009). An older woman learns a valuable lesson about living fearlessly when she makes the impulsive decision to climb a tree in her front yard (The Middle Distance). When a flood washes away a rundown cemetery, its caretaker receives encouragement to move on from the spirit of the interred (The Westchester County Cemetery Flood). An absentee mother gains important perspective when she reconnects with her transgender daughter (On Being Born Again). A Ringo Starr impersonator in a Beatles tribute band has a lifechanging confrontation with an elderly single mother who mistakes him for the real thing (We Love You, Ringo). An artist who anonymously mails his work to strangers is stunned to see his art on the T-shirt of a young man at the post office (The Random Arts Project). A widower enters a new relationship at the urging of his deceased wife (Gnats). And, in the collection's title story, a middle-aged man has his life changed when he’s presented with the perplexing question, How do you steal a train?
Advance Praise
"M.C. Schmidt's fiction is an indelible blend of humor, pathos, and social commentary. The stories in this collection feel like rituals of magnified human experience; I'll return to them again and again, always discovering a new pleasure or insight"
- Alissa Nutting, author of Made for Love and Tampa
"The stories in M.C. Schmidt’s How to Steal a Train are consistently excellent and pulse with pitch-perfect dialogue, superbly executed tension, and expose the metaphorical (and in some cases literal) masks we wear in our everyday lives. But, most importantly, each piece is its own unique and honest form of an archeological dig into what it means to be human. How to Steal a Train is a glorious literary achievement!"
- Nicholas Claro, author of This Is Where You Are
"How to Steal a Train" is an utterly charming anthology. Highly recommended."
- Five-Star Reader's Favorite Review
Available Editions
| EDITION | Paperback |
| ISBN | 9020074844194 |
| PRICE | |
| PAGES | 231 |
Available on NetGalley
Featured Reviews
Reviewer 1652243
This was such a fun and sort of nostalgic collection. All of these stories were previously published in other publications but are now compiled into one set. All of them were so well-written and had amazing character development despite the short length of them all. They were all amusing, nostalgic, and heartfelt.
Reviewer 1727447
This was amazing! The authors character development in so few words is brilliant! You leave each story feeling as if you have made a friend! A must read!
Reviewer 1732366
A unique, funny and affecting collection. The writing is strong and the characters are memorable. The Middle Distance is my favorite story here, I think..
Loan N, Reviewer
In this collection of short stories, many of our protagonists are stuck and are trying to find ways to free themselves and move forward in their lives again.
I really, really enjoyed reading this collection. The author packs so much personality and so much character progression into such a small space. I love when short story collections have threads connecting them together, and the ones in this collection were excellent. "The Middle Distance," in which a woman gets stuck climbing up a tree, is particularly memorable. "How to Steal a Train" was a smart, heartwarming note to end on. I loved that so many of the main characters made active choices to improve their lives, no matter how big or small those actions might've been.
Great writing, great characters, great plots and progression. I'm so glad to have read this.
This review has been cross-posted to GoodReads. Thank you to NetGalley and the Anxiety Press for the opportunity to read and review!
Julia R, Reviewer
How to Steal a Train by M.C. Schmidt is a beautifully crafted collection of stories that captures the messy, hilarious, and deeply human moments of everyday life. Each story offers something real—whether it’s characters navigating identity, confronting the roles they play in their daily lives, or simply trying to make sense of the world around them.
What stood out most to me was how grounded and relatable these stories felt. There's something refreshing about reading characters who are actively figuring themselves out—flawed, confused, and funny in the most authentic ways. Schmidt’s ability to balance humor with emotional insight is remarkable. More than once, I found myself laughing out loud, only to pause a moment later thinking, "Wait—what just happened?" only to read on and start laughing again.
This collection is sharp, witty, and surprisingly poignant. I truly enjoyed the experience and fully intend to revisit these stories. Highly recommend for readers who appreciate humor that hits close to home and writing that gently (and sometimes not-so-gently) nudges at the complexities of being human.
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