This debut novel is one you are going to need to talk about. I think it will be an excellent conversation starter with plenty of different viewpoints; a particularly good choice for Book Clubs. It is based on child abuse. Or is it? There we go; straight away there will be conflicting views. What is child abuse? Can it be called child abuse if both parties are adamant that they are in love? I have very strong views on this subject and they are based on my own experiences and they will never change.
Vanessa Wye is being educated in a boarding school (as I was). She is gifted in the subject of English and her English teacher, Jacob Strane, claims that he has fallen in love with her. She is so flattered by being treated as ‘special’ and to be the subject of such devotion. Her teacher tells her she is beautiful in every way; alluring, incredible and intelligent and that he cannot help himself, so within the blink of an eye they embark on a clandestine physical relationship, using many different excuses to be together and enjoy the fun they have.
Vanessa is convinced it is love. She cannot get enough of him. It is not abuse it is everlasting true love. She sacrifices herself when rumours start circulating, insisting the mumbled accusations are not true. Her life is altered and will never be the same. But he carries on as normal. She is humiliated and has to leave the school but still she sees him secretly and the relationship flourishes.
The novel is loosely written in dual time frame and is not always managed chronologically. I found this aspect very confusing and disturbing. The first thread is about Vanessa as a fifteen-year-old student and the second frame sees her as a thirty-two-year-old mature woman living a chaotic life on minimum pay, struggling to live on her wages, eat, pay the rent and live comfortably like she did as a child. She is a mess: she drinks too much and kids herself that she manages her drug use. Her flat is dirty and neglected; she is still unmarried and still believes that Strane is the great love of her life. But is it true?
She is urged to tell her story, but solidly protects Strane, even when he is accused of abuse by other girls. She feels the knife of hurt and disbelief and believes they were not special like she was. She goes over and over their relationship and in the wake of breaking news she is forced to re-evaluate her previous thoughts. Was it true love or was it indeed rape? That is for you to decide when you have read Vanessa’s story.
I somewhat floundered a few times throughout this novel. It felt like it had more than 386 pages to read. The story was jumping here and there timewise and I found it very difficult to identify with Vanessa. I loathed Jacob Strane and thought he was a manipulative, cunning monster. What he was stuck out like a sore thumb. What was Vanessa thinking? I thought she would wake up. Her promising life as an academic was ruined by him. I would have been so angry with him. In fact I am angry with both of them. The novel has been introduced as ‘The standout debut novel of 2020’ and it may well be. It is thought provoking and very much ‘the novel of our times’. I cannot get it out of my mind.
I received this novel through my membership of NetGalley and from publisher Fourth Estate all in return for an honest review. This is my 3.5* review. All the opinions are my own with no influence from other parties. There are many injustices in life and I felt a great frustration for what Vanessa went through, albeit she didn’t see it that way. She didn’t recognise the nuances and subtleties of Strane’s behaviour and thought she was actually acting appropriately. That is the greatest misunderstanding in Elizabeth Russell’s first novel. It’s a 3.5* review from me.

Wow. Oh wow. Thought provoking, uncomfortable, troubling, gripping and completely unputdownable.

Such a necessary book for our times in its examination of the nature of toxic, predatory relationships. Where the victim is made to believe that they are the responsible for the abuse (mental and physical) they are subjected to.

I found this book referenced on Must Read lists for 2020 so was pleased to get an advance copy before what I am sure will be an avalanche of praise for a blockbuster debut. My Dark Vanessa was both a pageturner and impossible to finish in one sitting- the subject material and descriptions of sexual abuse are unashamedly raw and honest but Vanessa herself I found hardest to take.

"...isn’t that what consent is, always being asked what you want? Did I want him to kiss me? Did I want him to touch me? Did I want him to fuck me? Slowly guided into the fire – why is everyone so scared to admit how good that can feel? To be groomed is to be loved, tended to, handled like a precious, delicate thing."

In this book we as readers are confronted with some grim realities about the confusion of childhood sexual assault. Vanessa adopts the persona of Nabokov's nymphet to both normalise and romanticise her situation. Even as her potential crumbles away she denies her own victimhood and most heartbreakingly, that of other women like herself. As she dismisses the groping of a fellow alum as 'not that bad' I was reminded of the many women even in the public eye whose grievances were ignored not because they were invalid but because they had the bad luck not to be raped by penetration. Their claims "not that bad" considering the real monsters walking the world. The author gives us the opportunity to witness and judge for ourselves, throwing into stark terms just how important it is to recognise not just sexual abuse, but smaller abuses of power too.

This is a phenomenal debut that I found utterly compelling. The story is told purely from the perspective of Vanessa who is recounting the sexual abuse she experienced from her teacher when she was 15 years old. The book explores Vanessa's conflicted feelings about what happened in such a nuanced and authentic way that never feels preachy, or that the author is trying to manipulate your emotions, and the story is all the more powerful because of it.
Thank you to Netgalley and 4th Estate for the ARC.

My Dark Vanessa is an incredible book (even more so as it’s a debut). It is uncomfortable. As it should be. The premise is smart but sadly not uncommon - naive 15 year old girl has a relationship with a 40-something year old man, in this case one of her teachers. He is manipulative. She is impressionable and deeply changed by their interactions. Spool forward c.20 years and others come out the woodwork making allegations against the teacher. Told across the 2 timelines, we watch the relationship develop and unfold as society wakes up to power imbalance and sexual predators amidst the #metoo movement.

I sat on this book for a few weeks as I was a little nervous that it was too soon to fictionalise such events. However this is a must read. It is a book that will make you think and stay with you. Dark and with depth, brilliant characterisations and deftly told, I would highly recommend. A 4.5*

With thanks to Netgalley, 4th Estate and William Collins for an advanced copy in consideration of an honest review.

Trigger warning, this book contains graphic sexual abuse.

As a school librarian I would recommend this as a modern companion read for the 6th formers who have read Lolita.

As an adult reader, I found this book both very hard to read (due to the very detailed abuse included) but also very hard to put down due to it's addictive storyline, however shocking that may be. The characters are frustrating but that adds to the readability, and makes you think hard about the experience of victims, abusers and those around them.

It is certainly unforgettable.

I'd recommend reading Asking For It by Louise O'Neil next, for a different but again important book about teenage sexual assault.

My Dark Vanessa is a disturbing, provocative, powerful and stunning debut novel. The pupil teacher relationship changes subtly. He's seeks Vanessa's approval, yet he's always the one in control, manipulating.

The story runs on two timelines – present day when the 'me too' movement emerged, and going back to when Vanessa was boarding at High School at the start of her relationship with Jacob Strane.

This is not a gratuitous sleazy story. It is very well written and gets to the crux of grooming (Jacob Strane is a master of grooming). It shows how the process is often misunderstood, misinterpreted that a consenting schoolgirl knows her own mind, is in full control of a situation with a man three times her age. Her friends knew, the school knew, her mother knew, yet nobody did anything. And then there's the guilt, Vanessa feels guilt. This is a masterpiece.

I have to admit that it took a while for me to get in to this book.  Stories about teenagers groomed by a teacher have been written again and again, so many times, and new allegations are in the news on a regular basis.  It's a tale as old as time, there were at least two cases at my own High School in the 1980s.  But despite my early misgivings about this book it started to draw me in little by  little.  It is, without doubt, very well written, if a little overlong, and almost reads almost like a memoir at times. There is so much more to this incredibly sad story than the initial seduction, and as it progresses the aftereffects are shocking and upsetting for so many people.  A compelling and heartbreaking read, for anyone who has a strong stomach.

I really really want to give this book a higher rating, but I cannot justify it when it is almost twice as long as it needed to be.

My Dark Vanessa has many powerful moments. It's a discomfiting, horrible story about an adult woman reevaluating the relationship she had with her English teacher when she was a teenager. It is reminiscent of The Tale and, of course, Lolita, which features heavily throughout. Teenage Vanessa reads Lolita as a forbidden romance in which the titular protagonist is a cruel seductress, but adult Vanessa begins to question that reasoning.

The real power of this book is that it allows the reader to see how Vanessa truly falls for her abuser. In the chapters where we relive her teenage years, we are inside her head and experiencing his manipulation firsthand. It is enticing. It makes this lonely girl feel special, intelligent and wanted. She's not stupid; she's heard of rapists and child abusers. But this is why Jacob Strane gets away with it, why many abusers get away with it, because they convince their victims they are the exception to the rule.

And how exciting it is for a young girl to be the exception to the rule! To be the one - and, surely, the only one - that could make a good man stray from the righteous path. We see how well he seduces her into thinking that they are two dark and lonely souls meant for each other in this cruel, cruel world. How could anyone else possibly understand them?

I've almost talked myself into upping my rating by writing this review. But here's the thing: this book should have been a novella. I don't know if there's a specific reason why the author shied away from writing a novella - are they harder to publish? - but this story most certainly is one. After a while, there are long, mind-numbing stretches of boring repetition and superfluous detail. So many things go on for too long. Vanessa's relationship with Henry when she goes to a different school felt, at best, drawn out, at worst it was completely unnecessary.

All of the secondary characters - and there are quite a few - were one-dimensional. Every single one. There was a chunk in the middle that seemed to alternate between Nessa and Strane having revolting sexual encounters and long boring details of Vanessa's school and social life. And for a book that spends so much time turning every detail of her life inside out, it seems to end very abruptly.

But I will return to some positives because I am reluctant to end this review on a negative. I thought it was excellent and very sad how the author showed the long-term effects of the abuse on Vanessa's whole life - her relationships, her career, and her sexuality. It is so heart-wrenching and disturbing when Vanessa catches herself imagining she is a young girl for sexual gratification and wonders if she, too, is a pervert.

I do recommend this book still. I think it has a lot of important things to say and it cut me very deep. It's just a shame that there is so much unnecessary padding.

As soon as I started reading My Dark Vanessa, I questioned why I had chosen to read it. It’s a subject that I’d usually not even attempt to read as I find it too upsetting, but I’d heard such good things about it, and I was curious. And boy am I glad I read it. It’s an uncomfortable read though.

An insecure, lonely 15 year old is groomed by her much older teacher, Jacob Strane, and she is led to believe that it’s all on her own terms. She is in control. There are parts of this book that really distressed me, and I had to put the book down. However, I really felt for the main character, Vanessa. Even as a 35 year old woman, her life is still dictated by her relationship with Strane. These scenes where she is older, in a boring job, living in a tiny apartment and drinking too much, really made me see how Strane had ruined her life. She refuses to see it, however. Even when she is seeing a counsellor about the death of her father, she still sees no link between her feelings for Strane and how he affected her life before the death of her father. And when former female students blow the whistle on his abuse, Vanessa refuses to get involved. Strane tells her they’re lying, that they’re fantasists - and she believes him. He continues to control her for years after their sexual relationship ends.

I think the way that the narrative swapped between present day and the past, showing us how the ‘relationship’ developed, made it all the more stark. Everyone, including the reader, can see the abuse. Everyone except Vanessa. I don’t know what the laws about the age of consent are like in the USA, but I’m pretty certain that if he’d been found out in the UK, he would never have taught again. But of course I could be wrong.

For me, the end was a relief. I was glad I’d made it through - it was traumatic for me as a reader.

I’ve given this 5 stars, but I wouldn’t qualify this 5/5 with an “I loved it!” like I often do with my top marked books. I do think that this is an important book though, and to be perfectly honest, it’s beautifully written.

Many thanks to HarperCollins 4th Estate and NetGalley for my copy of this book to read and review.

My Dark Vanessa portrayed in real, ugly, and disturbingly graphic detail an abusive relationship spanning seventeen years between Vanessa Wye and Jacob Strane that began when she was 15, and he was her 45 year-old English teacher.

I cannot emphasise how angry and upsetting the content of this book made me feel. Never has a piece of fiction affected me so much – It tore me apart, and I had to take frequent breaks while reading as I was so overcome. Jacob was repulsive right off the bat, there was never any ambiguity about his intentions, he used inappropriate teachings methods, conduct and boundaries in a classroom setting to lure vulnerable girls, specifically targeting Vanessa because she was naive, innocent, lonely, and isolated. He was a cunning, controlling and manipulative paedophile who abused Vanessa sexually, physically, emotionally, and psychologically, and through back-handed compliments, putdowns, gaslighting, withdrawal of affection, moodiness and jealously warped her into believing that the rape was consensual, and that their relationship was loving and healthy, a false belief Vanessa maintained well into adulthood.

I’ve made it sound really depressing, but it's compelling, insightful and life-altering.. Kate Elizabeth Russell handled distressing subject matter with authenticity, and openness, and I'm amazed this was her debut novel. As horrifying and harrowing as the issues raised in this book were to read about, it’s important to promote awareness of just how calculating and seductive sexual predators can be, and what actions to be suspicious of in adults, particularly those in a position of power such as teachers, and what behavioural indicators to be on the lookout for in children and teenagers. Teacher/student abuse, statutory rape, child grooming, sexual harassment, slut shaming, downside of social media and reporting, victim blaming, and not being believed are all too prevalent in our society, and that is not okay. The events in this story started in 1999, and even though I'd like to believe things would be handled differently in 2020 I feel we still have a long way to go.

The novel shifts between the present and the past, working its way forward. Most of the first 50 percent focused on Vanessa years at boarding school (1999-2001) where she first met Strane and the start of their relationship. As I mentioned, the descriptions of what Vanessa endured were explicit, therefore may be too confronting for some readers – likely even triggering for survivors of abuse, so approach with caution.

An important defining novel, My Dark Vanessa releases 10th March, 2020.

I'd like to thank Netgalley, 4th Estate, and Kate Elizabeth Russell for the e-ARC.

God, this was a dark and utterly riveting book.

Vanessa Wye was fifteen years old when she first had sex with her English teacher.

She is now thirty-two and in the storm of allegations against powerful men in 2017, the teacher, Jacob Strane, has just been accused of sexual abuse by another former student.

Vanessa is horrified by this news, because she is quite certain that the relationship she had with Strane wasn't abuse. It was love. She's sure of that.

Forced to rethink her past, to revisit everything that happened, Vanessa has to redefine the great love story of her life – her great sexual awakening – as rape. Now she must deal with the possibility that she might be a victim, and just one of many.

This is no way an easy read, providing a thought provoking portrayal of one of the biggest issues of our time, but at times, I felt like I had to force myself to continue reading. 

Strane is clearly a manipulative abuser, but through Vanessa's first-person narrative, we see that she believes that there may be more to him. It's heart-breaking to witness his utter control and manipulation of her at such a young age. Her relationship with him appears to define her life in such a irrevocably disgusting way. Russell explores the narratives behind the #MeToo movement with clear sensitivity and research, but in a deeply disturbing way that questions Vanessa's own victimhood that unfortunately the modern press may also do. She herself cannot seem to accept that she was a victim, though Strane's gaslighting and rewriting of her memories sure plays a part in that. 

I liked how nothing in this book was particularly clear-cut, showing the reality and messiness of the situation, even to the very end. The writing was superb, extremely compelling and immersive. It tackles how we are complicit as a society in rape culture and asks us to respect the victim and their control over their own narrative. 

Review will be up on my blog on Monday

You probably know going into this that it's not the easiest read and ... it's really not. The problem tho is, it doesn't feel authentic. It feels like a rehash, pieces have been gathered (and referenced) from all over the place and pushed together without quite matching.

There's some really good stuff in there, the damage done to the main character is clear and obvious and at times screams out from the page even while she's denying it. More of that standard throughout the book would have helped.

I found this book a hard read,possibly because I have 16 year old daughter,I'm not entirely sure. I did not finish it but do appreciate the arc. Knowing these things happen is extremely thought provoking.

I have mixed feelings about this book. My Dark Vanessa was brilliantly written. The author was able to show us what was happening and how Vanessa was being groomed without holding our hands and pointing out how his behaviour was bad. She also didn't treat Vanessa like a victim and instead allowed that she made her own choices.

I can't fault the writing or the story for being absorbing because, despite not wanting to, I was engaged and wanted to know the outcome of their behaviours.
The problem was that the subject matter was so distasteful and made me feel so uncomfortable that I really didn't enjoy reading it at all. Several times I wanted to DNF but I felt that it was important to finish the story and find out what happened to them both.
To that end, I found the ending very disappointing as there was no real resolution or character development and I felt it was incomplete.

This is definitely not a book that I felt I enjoyed reading. But it was haunting, compelling... hard to ignore. The prose is beautifully crafted and the characters felt entirely real. This is definitely a difficult book to read and the graphic nature of the grooming, the sex (rape), and years of abuse are hard to stomach. It felt as if there was so much more lurking beneath the pages, so much that the characters still kept hidden from us, as if I were only allowed a glimpse into the pain Vanessa suffered.

The story is about Vanessa, a now 32-year old who was groomed by a teacher when she was in highschool. Through the emergence of a new claim against him, via social media, Vanessa is reluctantly drawn back into her past. Instead of simply reflecting back, the novel alternates between the present and the past. The reader accompanies Vanessa right back to her first day at the new prestigious boarding school, the first time she meets her English teacher. The story outlines painfully just how manipulative the abuse was. As a fifteen-year old, Vanessa falls in love, or believes that she's in love. She sees the relationship as romantic, consensual, equal. She denies any uncomfortable feelings that surface and is controlled and coerced by her teacher. It makes for an incredibly uncomfortable and frustrating read. As the reader, you want nothing more than to help her, save her, sometimes even shake her. And I certainly cannot recall actively hating a literary character as much as I did Jacob Strane for taking advantage.

This is a powerful, very visceral and harsh read. It's definitely a book I feel I would need to read again because the emotional punch was so very powerful.

This book was amazing. There have been so many over-hyped books already this year, but this is one of those that actually lives up to the hype.
It's very dark and not an easy read, due to the subject matter. (I perhaps didn't expect it to be quite so explicit)
I admire the author for not taking the easy way out with Strane (no spoilers here) - that was unexpected and I felt lent the MC's voice an authenticity, which wouldn't have happened if there had been a trial etc.
One of the best books I've read this year so far.

At fifteen Vanessa Wye becomes entangled in an affair with her English teacher, Jacob Strane, a man 27 years her senior. In 2017 Strane is accused of sexual abuse by another former student, a student who reaches out to Vanessa, making Vanessa face a choice she has avoided for many years. She can choose to protect Strane, and remain firm in the belief that her relationship with Strane was one she entered willingly and knowingly, and that he loved her and she him. A belief she has held since she was fifteen. Vanessa’s other choice is to re-examine her past and the relationship she thought she had with Strane. Vanessa is reluctant to do this, or to consider that Strane could be anything other than the man she has always believed.

I don’t really know where to start with this one to be honest. There is an awful lot to unpack and take out of this book, and I’ve been thinking about my review for a few days before I even considered trying to write it. I guess the best place to start is with trigger warnings:- paedophilia, sexual abuse, rape, gas-lighting, drug and alcohol abuse are all big parts of this book so avoid it if they aren’t your bag.

It took me a little bit of time to get into this book. I had an idea of what it was and what to expect from the blurb but because of the subject matter it makes for very uncomfortable reading. As an outsider you see from the very beginning that Strane is abusing Vanessa, but she is totally adamant that it is what she wants and that she is in control. I think I had assumed that the abuse would be subtler, or the lines more blurred, but that is definitely not the case. There is absolutely no way you could ever consider this as a love story, no matter how much Vanessa tells you that’s what it is. I wouldn’t say that the book is particularly graphic, but it doesn’t need to be. The scenes featuring sexual acts are described plainly, but to me that made the impact of them a lot more powerful. It’s very much like Vanessa has detached from herself when she is describing those scenes, which make the abuse all the more obvious.

The book moves between the past and present, all told from Vanessa’s first person point of view. We learn of how her ‘relationship’ with Strane developed and progressed, and steadily begin to realise the extent of the damage this relationship has caused Vanessa. The way the author has written this is truly fantastic writing. As a reader you really feel like you are stuck in Vanessa’s head with her. You get a full insight into how she yo-yos between hating Strane and needing his attention and affirmation. She has been a victim of gas-lighting for over fifteen years, and the effects are clear. We see Vanessa begin to realise what has been happening to her for so many years, and it’s distressing to read.

I thought Russell makes a very important point here in terms of the media and how they hassle and hassle for a story supposedly because they want justice but really because they want the byline. I particularly like Taylor’s quote “I thought it would make me feel empowered, instead I feel taken advantage of all over again”. I’ve spoken before in reviews about how I hate that reporters disregard a person’s right to privacy if they think it will give them a story, and this is another prime example. Vanessa has made it clear she doesn’t want to talk. I also think her therapist makes a good point when she says that there are different ways of dealing with trauma, and different ones work for different people. It is not up to any of us to tell victims of abuse what they should and shouldn’t be doing in order to try and help themselves come to terms with what happened to them. Obviously drinking and drug taking like Vanessa does are not healthy ways to cope with trauma, but forcing someone to confront events that they aren’t ready to confront could also be incredibly damaging.

All in all I felt that this book raises some really important points and questions about how we as a society view victims of abuse and the Me Too movement. It is a difficult book to read but yet is incredibly compelling. It’s a haunting book, it will stay with you for a long time after you finish it, but is something that is well worth reading.

Thanks to NetGalley and Fouth Estate for an arc in exchange for an honest review

This is a much-talked about debut novel about Vanessa Wye, a somewhat unusual, somewhat troubled girl, living in small-town Maine. She’s a loner, an introvert, but intelligent and intense; she’s also a huge temptation for Jacob Strane, her English teacher at Browick, a prestigious boarding school.

At first, one feels sorry for Vanessa. She’s taken advantage of by Strane, a very experienced teacher who takes Vanessa under his wing for guidance and mentoring with her writing. She isolates herself from others; she immerses herself in Strane’s world and nothing else matters.

Russell’s novel focuses on Vanessa’s life at Browick - and also, years down the line when she’s at university, but also post-education, when she is working in dead-end jobs - definitely positions below her. The narrative viewpoint and structure is, at times, confusing as the story skips ahead in time and then back - and not always seamlessly.

Later, it is clear that Vanessa can’t live without Strane but she also can’t live with him, figuratively or literally. She gets caught up with Henry, her professor and husband if one of Strane’s colleagues; she is befriended by a journalist, someone who wants her story; she makes little effort to make friends, largely because she doesn’t have the skills to make this happen.

This is a novel about disillusionment and abuse; it’s a novel about innocence and corruption; it’s about what can happen when we become obsessed with someone and have little control over how this works out - or perhaps we do but choose to ignore it.

‘My Dark Vanessa’ is an intense, somewhat overly-long novel which is not always comfortable to read. At times, one can’t help think about the implausible nature of parts of the story (the way the head teacher, Mrs Giles, initially deals with the allegations, for example). But, all in all, it’s a disturbing read, a novel that warns us of what can happen if our primal needs get the better of us - and then some.

“When Strane and I met, I was fifteen and he was forty five.”

Vanessa is 15 when she is groomed by her English teacher, starting a relationship which shapes the rest of her life. It’s terrifying to think of how easy it is for young vulnerable people to be drawn into what they perceive to be a “normal” relationship. It’s horrific, explicit and a fantastic read (which feels so wrong to say! Given the subject matter)

This is a dark, dark story which I enjoyed every second of.