“When Strane and I met, I was fifteen and he was forty five.”

Vanessa is 15 when she is groomed by her English teacher, starting a relationship which shapes the rest of her life. It’s terrifying to think of how easy it is for young vulnerable people to be drawn into what they perceive to be a “normal” relationship. It’s horrific, explicit and a fantastic read (which feels so wrong to say! Given the subject matter)

This is a dark, dark story which I enjoyed every second of.

This book goes back and forth in time from when Vanessa started a relationship with her english teacher when she was only 15, and her current life as an adult, more than a decade later. ⁠
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Told from her perspective, the story shows how everything began, the inner workings of a highly manipulative, abusive and toxic relationship between an adult man and a teenage girl, and all the ways she tried to convince herself that everything was normal (and even worse, her fault).⁠
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This was a very hard read. I couldn't wait for it to end, but I also wanted to know what happened to Vanessa, so I kept reading. I felt disgusted by the teacher in so many ways - mainly by his power to control her, by how he showed no remorse for what he did-, and felt sorry for how dependent, how "broken" Vanessa was by him throughout the years.⁠
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Lolita is referenced often in this book, and the overall theme is the same, but while I really enjoy the safe, almost dream-like distance between reader and narrator in Lolita, My Dark Vanessa was way, way darker, way more raw and disturbing, because you couldn't leave Vanessa's head. You either lived through all the traumas with her, or you didn't read the book at all.⁠
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This is a very well-written, eye-opening book that can help us make sense of what goes through the minds of many victims of abuse, and I'm glad I've had the chance to read it. However, it is a tough read and something I wouldn't recommend to everyone.⁠

I fear this is a case of reading too much hype because sadly I found this to be a disappointment! These kinds of stories are certainly important. Although uncomfortable, it feels necessary to read more stories of abuse, consent and autonomy and I'm glad that there are now more opportunities for these experiences to be shared. In this particular case, I found it very hard to connect with the protagonist which is a tricky thing to express given the sensitive nature of the story - it's not that the story is unbelievable, but the way characters are expressed made it difficult to truly engage. This isn't to say that I didn't feel sympathy: the abusive relationship and its development is written well but character issues made it very hard for me to connect emotionally beyond the obviously disturbing abuse of power. The way that the narrative jumps between the past and present, with no separation, was quite jarring but ultimately led to me being rather bored. Much of the present felt like it hadn't been developed properly, so I struggled to feel very invested in new characters. In the end it was difficult to finish this book, not because of the repulsive relationship but ultimately I was not very interested in seeing the resolution. A big shame as I'd heard brilliant things!

Vanessa Wye is an introverted student with a passion for literature, Jacob Strane is her teacher and they connect through their shared interests ..........Jacob is 42 and .Vanessa is only 15 years old !!,


Jacob notices Vanessa when she attends his classes, he gives her books, she devours Lolita and in her he sees a kindred spirit. With Starnes increased attention Vanessa begins to feel special and their relationship takes a dark and distributing turn.

17 years on Vanessa is working as a hotel receptionist, still trying to figure out her life and numbing her senses with drinking, taking drugs and picking up men. She hears of a case of sexual abuse being taken against Jacob and she is transported back to her own school day experiences. Was this a great love affair or something completely different.?

This book was an unsettling ,uncomfortable read for me. The underlying issues of manipulation, control and grooming was harrowing. Abuse comes in many forms and can be viewed differently by each individual. Abuse victims suffer long term effects for many years and this was portrayed well in the book. I personally could not get my mind around the fact that Vanessa saw her relationship as a great love affair, and wondered if she could ever break free from Strane?

This is definitely not a cosy feel good book, but it does address some difficult subjects which deserve to be heard and acknowledged. The understanding of the subject was evident and thought provoking. Thank you to netgalley and the publishers for my chance to read this dark addictive book.

A compelling and deeply important novel which delves into the psyche of Vanessa, a 15 year old girl, who is groomed and taken advantage of by her much older teacher. While at times the book is difficult to read due to the extremely disturbing relationship, sexual scenes and the gaslighting and coercion that Vanessa undergoes as a young person, it is also a timely novel and will resonate with readers. I feel like Russell gets into the mindset of a teenager and the concerns of someone at that stage of their life so well, especially of a young person who feels isolated and adrift from her peers, left vulnerable to a predator like Jacob Strane.

This novel especially comes at a pivotal time due to the me too movement and other movements highlighting the impact of sexual assault and how widespread it is. While it definitely took me some time to get through, due to the triggering content and the dark nature of the story, it is definitely an important exploration of one survivors experience of abuse, even if she doesn't always consider herself a survivor or victim. It raises key questions about consent and the right of people to share or not to share their pain or survival stories with the world, Is it necessary for a survivor to come forward? The novel poses all these questions and more.

The novel provoked a lot of emotion in me, I was reeling from shock, anger and pain at what Vanessa and other characters in the novel experience at the hands of a manipulative and sick individual. This book is haunting in many ways and highlights a different narrative than any other I've read surrounding this topic and focuses firmly on Vanessa and her story, front and center.

This book is absolutely brilliant and very compelling reading. It demonstrates how completely groomed Vanessa was by someone in a position of power and how manipulative that person was. The events of a couple of years completely overtook her life and affected all her future relationships with friends and others. This is a very powerful read and I recommend it be read.

God this is a tough book to review! It’s taken me a few days since finishing it to actually decide whether or not I even LIKED it or not and I’ve had to resort to my asking myself if I want a copy of this book on my bookshelf to try and work out if I love it or hate it. And the answer that eventually came was “yes” I would want to have it on show on my shelves to read and in the future.
But be warned if you do want to read My Dark Vanessa that it is very VERY dark and does revolve around a sexual relationship between a 45 year man and a 15 year old girl. The girl has so obviously been groomed by her teacher but she doesn’t see it. It affects her entire life from that moment onwards especially when further details come to light 17 years later.
I did think it tried too hard sometimes and there were way too many Lolita references for what the author needed to get across but overall this book felt socially relevant and I admire the author for taking this route for her characters.
The ending was stunning and the final few pages were so emotionally charged that I read the final few pages again after I’d eventually finished. Not quite a 5 star read but pretty much there and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since I read it.

This is a brilliantly written novel dealing with a very difficult subject. It clearly illustrates the lifelong impact of grooming on a young vulnerable girl who, despite hearing of others claiming abuse at the hands of the same teacher, is convinced that hers was a love affair. Despite that supposed love it is interesting that Vanessa continues to refer to her abuser by his surname. The characters are so deftly described that it felt like a true story.

Ignore the awful marketing: This is a very good book about sexual abuse, psychologically believable, nuanced, complex, never relying on melodrama or cheap effects. What it is certainly not is "an era defining novel", and it has absolutely nothing new to say about the issues discussed - this doesn't matter though, because the perspective of the protagonist who has been groomed and been a victim of gaslighting for years is extremely well rendered - to be trapped inside her head, thrown into her emotional world is harrowing and conveys important insights. This is quality writing that stands on its own, it does not need to be hyped up and put on a pedestal made up of the silliest superlatives available. Just trust your material, publishers.

Our protagonist Vanessa Wye is 15 when her 45-year-old English teacher Jacob Strane first rapes her - for years afterwards, she holds on to the belief that his version of the events was true, that she had power over the situation, that she actually wanted everything that happened, that he loved her, and their relationship continues on and off way into her adult life. When we meet Vanessa at age 32, her whole person has disintegrated: She is stuck in a job below her potential, smokes too much weed, drinks too much, can't manage to keep her apartment clean, can't build stable relationships, has no direction or ambition. When other former students publicly accuse Strane of abuse in the context of the #metoo movement, Vanessa reaches a breaking point...

Entirely written from Vanessa's perspective, Russell tells the story in alternating timelines, providing her readers with elaborate flashbacks and numerous re-evaluations of scenes and situations from the past - we witness how Vanessa's concept of what happened to her and what she actually did changes as she confronts Strane then and now, and as she hears from other victims. You have to give kudos to Russell for really going where it hurts: Strane is not simply a monster, he is a very three-dimensional figure who uses his manipulative powers effectively. The author also talks about bystanders, the role of parents, friends, and the media, what's socially accepted and about where to draw the line. It's not simply a story about good vs. evil, the book tries to capture and question the whole messy reality and it addresses questions of guilt and responsibility.

For book people, the constant literary references (Strane is an English teacher, after all) are particularly intriguing: Of course, there's Lolita - in fact, lots and lots of Lolita -, then we have Pale Fire (which contains the line "My Dark Vanessa"), Titus Andronicus and other works. While the book isn't mentioned in the text, I was also constantly reminded of Tiger, Tiger, a French memoir in which Margaux Fragoso talks about the abuse she suffered from age seven up until her twenties - like Vanessa, she was psychologically manipulated, felt emotionally dependent and even pitied her abuser.

Readers who followed the reporting about #metoo will recognize all the phenomena Russell describes, especially the loss of identity which results from the belief that the victim cannot trust her own perceptions and emotions because she has been told constantly that they are incorrect. While this book is certainly suitable for younger readers as well, it's not YA, but proper literary fiction, relevant, intelligent and very readable.

This is a difficult book to read, but also a book to be read in one sitting and then thought about for a long time. Russell's telling of Vanessa's story is tough and delicate, nuanced, insightful, and contradictory - as is entirely appropriate for a character so completely torn by her experiences. And, crucially, at no point does it ever feel voyeuristic,

It's a tough read, but very well done; the insight into the mindset of a young girl groomed by her teacher, knowing it is wrong but struggling to come to terms with her experience ('Groomed. I repeat the word over and over, try to understand what it means, but all I can think of is the lovely warm feeling I'd get when he stroked my hair.') The abuse and manipulation is clear to the reader, but equally clear is understanding the way Vanessa has to believe that she is special to survive it (and this is a wild understatement on my part - I cannot describe in one sentence the complex mental state that Russell delves into so well). Beautifully done, too, is the arc towards redemption for Vanessa and her successor in abuse.

There is a wealth of reference to relevant literature, and the culture and news of the time - MeToo and the media's approach to it are not untouched, and Russell pulls no punches. There are such layers to this book that I think it requires more than one reading. I think that in future 'My Dark Vanessa' will prove to be obligatory reading alongside 'Lolita' or, I hope, to be read as the primary text ahead of 'Lolita', the voice finally given to the person whose story it was. I think it may find a place, too, in reading for anyone undergoing training in social care and child psychology. It's an important book, and a very sad one.

My Dark Vanessa is not going to be a book for everyone, you only have to read the book description to work that one out! It’s dark, deeply disturbing and unsettling! This book took me a while to read, unusual for me but I had to keep putting it down as Vanessa’s story unfolded I felt grubby, me emotions were all over the place, I don’t think I’ve read a book that’s evoked such an array of feelings in me. I was distraught, frustrated, disgusted, angry and sad. My Dark Vanessa explores the psychological dynamics of the relationship between a precocious yet naïve teenage girl and her magnetic and manipulative teacher. Kate Elizabeth Russell does a superb job of revealing the mindset of Strane, a manipulative predator, it’s a chilling portrayal, and one that makes for a very uncomfortable read. Vanessa’s refusal to face the truth that she was is a ‘victim’ are complex, and make the read even more disturbing. If I’m honest it’s not a book I enjoyed, at times I struggled with the subject matter, I can’t even say it’s a book I enjoyed, in-fact I felt really uncomfortable reading My Dark Vanessa , but I can see why it’s received so many five star reviews. It’s a book that I think readers will have to make their own mind up about, and only you know what subjects fit into your own personal ‘comfort zone,.

Twisty and oh, so dark and disturbing. Reading it as an adult you want to scream at Vanessa to save herself and can only read on as the whole saga unwinds.

This is a chilling yet important narrative of the destruction left in the wake of an illicit affair between teacher and pupil. Vanessa's first impression of her English teacher was of a man who saw the beauty in poetry and in her own creations. Soon he makes his intentions known and he attempts to take the beauty of her person as his own, as well. The elite private school he teaches at and she resides in becomes the backdrop to their burgeoning relationship, but secrets can't stay secrets long in such a close-knit hub.

This was a physically painful read. Thirty-two year old Vanessa shares her present situation as well as recounting her childhood days spent with her then forty-five year old English teacher. The clever construction of the narrative invites the reader to become unwillingly complicit in their secret yet also painfully aware of the systematic emotional and physical abuse Vanessa is enduring. It shapes the girl she is, the young lady she is becoming, and the woman who has to deal with her entire life shadowed by the secrets she keeps and the pain she endures.

The elite academy is also called into question for their failure in protecting the innocent. Family and friends, too, garner an insight and their failure to act or their reactions to the events that occur thicken the shadows that dog Vanessa's heels and keep her from moving past the awakening she received at the hands of a monster. Fingers are never pointed but the accusation against all are made abundantly clear and the reader is invited to use their own powers of deduction to lay blame at more than one door, as the story continues.

I appreciated how the author never romanticised the abusive relationship, despite making Vanessa's differing opinions abundantly clear. It becomes her tragic backstory and her cross to bear. It marks her as different. marks her as different. Not victim. Never survivor. But constantly enduring. These opinions become her defence mechanism, as not to believe them makes her one of the numberless innocents, raped by monsters and neglected by the systems meant to protect them.

This story is important as it moves beyond the initial abuse. It shows how both an entire life and an impressionable mind become bruised. It shows the failings of others but also that hope that is left glimmering in the wake of destruction.

This is not an easy book to read, yet it captivates and intrigues as well as horrifies. 17 year old Vanessa is singled out and groomed by her much older English teacher at the exclusive college she attends. He flatters and gives her the attention she craves and they embark on a secret affair. Vanessa is convinced that he loves her and cannot understand the concern and warnings her school friends try to give her. Years later, after the affair has been over for a long time, Vanessa is contacted by a young girl who has also been groomed by the same man. This brings back the memories of her love affair and flashbacks of the details of her seduction and it’s consequences. In therapy and still in denial, Vanessa clings on to the illusion of love from these school days and finds it impossible to acknowledge that she was the victim of child abuse.
This is a powerful book which I was thinking about long after Infinished it. Poor Vanessa!!

This is not what I would call an easy read, especially for anyone who has been in an abusive, controlling relationship, there were times I struggled to continue reading.

Vanessa is a 32 year old, working as a concierge in a hotel in Portland, Maine. When a story comes out about her former 42 year old English teacher Jacob Strane, a former pupil Taylor Birch, accusing him of abuse and rape. Vanessa doesn’t want to believe this, if she believes it, she can’t handle the truth that she was also a victim. That she was groomed.

The story is told in split timelines, Vanessa as she is at 32, and Vanessa as the 15 year old schoolgirl, tells her story of the relationship between her and Strane. As you read of the relationship between Vanessa of Strane it becomes clear he was a clever manipulator, to a young girl, picked purely because she had no friends, no motivation, which through her love of literature, he manages to draw her out and engages her attention, in a number of ways, through poetry and the book Lolita by Nabokov, which becomes a recurring theme, but also becomes Vanessa’s favourite book. Vanessa is vulnerable, perfect prey for Strane, I found this difficult to read at times, sickening, sad but also moving.

The hardest part is that she truly believed he loved her, but it’s clear it’s manipulation and control. The way he frightens her to keep her quiet. I struggled reading parts about the descriptions of the relationship as her body goes somewhere her mind doesn’t want to. A real trigger for someone who has experienced abuse.

Vanessa has never been able to move on in her life, it has left her unable to have a normal relationship. She is a wreck. As an adult she is unable to cope with the idea that what she had with Strane was traumatising repeated acts of rape, and not the romantic affair she has filed it away in her brain as. But as more and more come forward with stories it becomes clear he has groomed girls for years. Strane is desperate for Vanessa to stay quiet, because it’s all about him, him being ruined, but she is being encouraged by others to take a stand, and encouraged to speak out.

This is a brilliantly crafted debut novel, it is definitely not for everyone, as there are some triggers in the book for anyone who has been a victim of abuse, it addresses another issue in the #MeToo era we are currently living in.

I would like to thank #netgalley and #FourthEstate for an eARC of this book in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.

This is the story of an abusive relationship, a story of grooming and manipulation, which focuses on the affair between a schoolgirl and her teacher. It’s also a controversial, provocative and thoughtful exploration of what such terms as abuse, victimhood, consent and agency really mean, and as such refuses easy answers and quick judgements. Vanessa never accepts that she has been abused. She believes her relationship with her teacher was the great love story of her life. To label it as abuse is far too simplistic, especially when Vanessa herself can become manipulative in her turn. She is vulnerable and naïve, to be sure, but also aware of her own power and willing to wield it. It’s a deeply challenging book that questions many assumptions about such situations. If a “victim” is a willing and eager participant – is it still abuse? Vanessa’s feelings for her “abuser” define the rest of her life, but to what extent was she complicit? I found it refreshing to read this intelligent, nuanced and insightful novel, which keeps coming up with surprises in the narrative which force the reader to reassess what is actually going on. I don’t think it is the masterpiece that some have claimed it to be, but it’s well-written and well-paced and tackles some very difficult and painful issues whilst always avoiding sensationalism. What a great book group book this will no doubt turn out to be – I can almost hear the arguments already!

A very sad, dark book about Vanessa Wye who, at the age of 15 was groomed and abused by her teacher, Jacob Strane. I found this book quite heavy going, as it flitted between Vanessa now and Vanessa then. It was so sad how she kept her love for Strane and appeared to be completely taken in by him. Not what you'd call an 'enjoyable' book by any stretch of the imagination, but the writing was beautiful and for that I'd recommend it.

An extremely dark and disturbing book. Vanessa Wye begins at a prestigious boarding school and very soon is flattered and intrigued by English teacher, Jacob Strane, who pays her attention and makes her feel special. They embark on an entirely inappropriate and destructive relationship. The story is told in split timeframes, from the point of view of the young school-girl and Vanessa as an adult. The story is disturbing and beautifully written. I wait with huge anticipation to see what this author is going to write next. Highly recommended.

Powerful story about a survivor of sexual abuse, who doesn’t realise and won’t accept she’s been abused. A 15 year old girl is abused at her US High School by a teacher who makes her believe it is true, pure love. She is manipulated and groomed to such an extent it affects her education, and future hopes.

The story starts when she sees an online post from a girl who is being abused by the same teacher, years later. She can’t relate to this as for her, ‘real love’ was involved. She has been manipulated into feeling guilty and responsible; her feelings of protectiveness towards this person are profound, which impacts on the whole of her life. Her sense of self-worth is decimated.

The confusion of feelings, manipulations but also how authority figures give themselves permission to gloss over startling details to fit a narrative they would rather face (than the reality), is believable and frightening.

By the end of the book you get the impression Vanessa is at the start of trying to understand what has truly happened to her. Sad, stunning and obsessive reading. An education.

Wow. What. A. Book, I'd seen a lot of hype around this book so was desperate to request an advanced copy to review. It is utterly gripping and equally disturbing. I've read a few books which have touched on abuse but never one that done such a deep dive on it and picked it apart so vividly. There's no doubt that it's an uncomfortable read but it's also an incredibly important and eye-opening one that I feel is entirely necessary and relevant in today's age. Both main characters are flawed to say the least but then we must remember one is a 15-year-old girl and the other, a fully grown man. You will no doubt get frustrated by them both for very different reasons but I think what is most difficult is watching Strane's manipulation of Vanessa unfold and feeling utterly helpless in being able to do anything. As the plot progresses we are allowed direct access into Vanessa's head and it's no easy place to be, watching as she falls deeper and deeper into darker waters. I thought the switching between past and present was necessary for this book, allowing us insight into how the past has affected Vanessa's present life and the true cost of a life entangled with a master manipulator like Jacob Strane. The author writes beautifully, almost lyrically and her attention to detail is seriously impressive. I was pleased with the ending of the book although perhaps left hungry for some real justice.