Due to a sudden, unexpected passing in the family a few years ago and another more recently and my subsequent (mental) health issues stemming from that, I was unable to download this book in time to review it before it was archived as I did not visit this site for several years after the bereavements. This meant I didn't read or venture onto netgalley for years as not only did it remind me of that person as they shared my passion for reading, but I also struggled to maintain interest in anything due to overwhelming depression. I was therefore unable to download this title in time and so I couldn't give a review as it wasn't successfully acquired before it was archived. The second issue that has happened with some of my other books is that I had them downloaded to one particular device and said device is now defunct, so I have no access to those books anymore, sadly.

This means I can't leave an accurate reflection of my feelings towards the book as I am unable to read it now and so I am leaving a message of explanation instead. I am now back to reading and reviewing full time as once considerable time had passed I have found that books have been helping me significantly in terms of my mindset and mental health - this was after having no interest in anything for quite a number of years after the passings. Anything requested and approved will be read and a review written and posted to Amazon (where I am a Hall of Famer & Top Reviewer), Goodreads (where I have several thousand friends and the same amount who follow my reviews) and Waterstones (or Barnes & Noble if the publisher is American based). Thank you for the opportunity and apologies for the inconvenience.

Wish We Knew What To Say by Dr Pragya Agarwal is an extremely important book on how to talk to children about racism.

Although primarily aimed at parents and teachers, this book would be valuable to anyone who wants to understand how stereotypes and prejudices infiltrate children from an early age and what we can do about it. ⠀

This year has seen an increase in people making a conscious effort to diversify their reading myself included. The more I read the more I realised I have to learn.

Immediately it became evident to me as a parent of a 12 year old boy that it is my responsibility as a parent, particularly a white parent to start the break the cycle. That the ‘colour blind’ reactive approach to discussing racism just wasn’t sufficient and was potentially doing more harm than good.

We teach our children that they are extraordinary, that they have their unique qualities but then counter that when a question about race is asked that “we don’t see colour we are all the same”

But I have to admit I struggled to know where to start to articulate the things I was learning to my son. How to start to unpick the bias and privilege in his life when I was still learning to address my own.

I was lucky enough to be approved for an ARC of this book by @netgalley and @littlebrownbookgroup_uk

This book explains the fundamentals of racism which whilst not revelatory is written in a language that is simple and transferable to children. It breaks down into age ranges and then links child development to their understanding and likely exposure to race. It provides answers to questions, examples of discussion points and ways to explain certain things. It also has a huge resource list at the back.

I cannot stress enough if you have children, plan to have children or work with children in any capacity this book is written for you and is essential reading.

I received the digital ARC copy of the book from Netgally in exchange for an honest review.

A must read to all parents, or parents to be, grand parents, no matter your cultural background you will learn a lot from this book. It open my eyes to see some issues mixed race families can go through in this world. I love that the book is from a British perspective rather than American, because though racism is the same everywhere, it's dealt with differently amongst different communities.

The writing style is right to the point, and has a very good flow, not fast paced that you'd get lost on the sea of information that is given, it comes with plenty of examples to help you understand complicated concepts, so if you never heard of white washing, or white passing you would most certainly understand it.
The book focuses on talking to younger kids (4-7/9) about their own heritage when it comes to having 2 or more different cultural backgrounds/ ethnicities. It would help parents to guide their children dealing with racism and bullying in different scenarios, either at school, playgrounds or even from within their own family.

I would love to see this book translated into different languages.

For black history month I have made an effort to read as much as I can around the topic, but as a parent, I’ve found this title invaluable! Discussion on race and prejudice can be incredibly tricky with children so I really appreciated the advice and experience found in this book. Dr. Agarwal begins by introducing and defining concepts important to the discourse before creating chapters dedicated to different developmental stages of a child (from birth to teen years) and race identification. Each chapter provides example questions and how to answer them (some of these are exactly what my children asked!) using research and the author’s own personal anecdotes. There is also a handy checklist at the end of each section on how we can be proactive and help shape racial identity and respect for differences. Anyone who works with children would benefit from this book and I’ll be keeping it as an informative reference guide as my children grow.

Wish We Knew What to Say: Talking to Children About Race is a timely book. It is something I have thought about a lot over the last few months because it is clear that in a lot of cases conversations about race are not being done well if it all.
My child is only a toddler but already I am thinking about how to make sure that he is aware of this thorny topic and can negotiate it without offence. I also wanted to broaden my own horizons by reading more widely not just on the topic of race.
Whilst many of the things covered in this book may not be new to those of us who are reading about white privilege and racism, they are covered thoroughly and in a way that is easy to understand. Wish We Knew What to Say is backed up by numerous studies.
The book itself is divided by the age of the child in question but the author says it is necessary to be flexible, if you feel your child is at another level then follow the advice for that section. At the end of each section is a series of question to get the conversation flowing.
The recommendations for further reading are numerous and I will be checking some of these out.

Wish We Knew What To Say by Dr Pragya Agarwal is an extremely important book on how to talk to children about racism.

Although primarily aimed at parents and teachers, this book would be valuable to anyone who wants to understand how stereotypes and prejudices infiltrate children from an early age and what we can do about it. ⠀

The book begins with an introduction about racism, its importance and implications in today's society, along with definitions and explanations and it almost reads like a manifesto. ⠀

The rest of the book is split into age groups, categorising the different approaches to discussions based on age. Agarwal provides common questions and answers them thoughtfully. Why are people still racist, why are people's skin colours different, why isn't my friend's mum black like he is etc. etc. are just a few of the limitless questions that children have, and all of these, though extremely tricky and sensitive to address, offer the perfect opportunity to provide children with a historical context and give our best to break the vicious cycle of implicit (or explicit) racism happening today.

I found it really interesting to read Agarwal's appeal not to take on the "colour-blind approach", which although well-intentioned will lead to perpetuated internalised racism, as she argues. Rather, she advises openly discussing race and racism as early as possible. She also addresses the different challenges faced by bi-racial children, who feel like they don't belong to neither side, and easily decide to give up on one part of their heritage and only claim the other, especially if they're "white-passing".

Dr Agarwal draws from both her professional experience as a behavioural and data scientist and numerous workshops on race she's carried out as well as her personal experience as a single mother of 3 children who moved to the UK from India 20 years ago.

This is an easily readable book, full of resources (checklists and reading lists abundant) that offers a critically important guide to tackling the sensitive issue of racism, nipping it in the bud, so to speak. Out on Oct 29th.⠀

Big thanks to Little Brown Publishing, Dialogue Books and NetGalley for my copy.

#WishWeKnewWhatToSay #NetGalley

I read Dr Agarwal's eye-opening book 'Sway' earlier in the year, and its content is something that I still think about frequently. So when I heard she had a book coming out about how to talk to children about racism, I jumped at the chance to read it.

First of all let me say that I am not a parent. However, they say it takes a village to raise a child. I have children I'm very close to and it's a privilege to be a part of their lives. I want to make sure that I play a positive role in their upbringing and, to be honest, when it comes to racism, prejudice, and white privilege, I felt I needed some guidance. Wish We Knew What To Say tuned out to be exactly what I needed.

So, this isn't just a book for parents, it's for grandparents, family, friends, teachers; anyone who plays a role in a child's upbringing would benefit from this book. There is something in this book for everyone.

Dr Agarwal begins by looking at racism, definitions and explanations that provide the reader with a good solid base to work from. This part of the book in itself should be essential reading for all.

She then splits down the book into different age groups; breaking down how a caregiver can approach discussion and create awareness with all ages. She gives example questions you might encounter, and thorough detail on how to answer them. She also provides the reader with suggestions for work one could do with their child, and guidance for when the open discussion gets particularly challenging.

Dr Agarwal herself moved to the UK from India 20 years ago. She has raised an adult daughter, and has 4 year old mixed-race twins whom she is raising in a largely white community. So not only is she sharing her professional advice as a behavioural and data scientist, but also her personal experience as as mother. The combination of these factors make this book the invaluable resource it is.

Easy to read, with examples as well as resources, Wish We Knew What To Say is a book that I think all caregivers should read. It helped me continue my own personal work on my white privilege, as well as deepening my understanding so that I can play my part in helping to raise the next generation.

I’ve read a few books on racism in the last 12 months or so, and while this covers some of the same ground as the others, it also has a fresh angle which is worthwhile and timely. The book discusses how the subjects of race and racism should be addressed by parents, with sections dedicated to four separate age ranges from 0 to 3, to 10 to 12.
The first third or so talks about the topic more generally, providing a useful and quite digestible summary that overlaps with books like Akala’s ‘Natives’ and ‘How to be an Antiracist’ by Ibram X Kendi. The rest of the book covers the parenting angle, with useful discussion, checklists and reading suggestions. Dr Agarwal is a mother herself, and ties a lot of her thinking back to her own experiences, as well as those of parents at seminars she has run.
The result is a very readable, book on a difficult subject, that contains some clear action items. It certainly made me think about how I’ve handled the subject with my son.