This was incredible!
This is a new dystopian/sci-fi book that I feel reminded me of Eve of Man and The Maze Runner at times, but is definitely it's own story.

In this world, women rule and rich, while men are in debt to them. Once a year, young men in the House of Boys put themselves in an auction in the hopes of elite females bidding on them and 'buying them'. However if they are not selected by 17, they will be sent to the mines. The book follows Jude as he tries to understand his best friends death carried out by the Chancellor and hopes that everyone is wrong and Vik is still alive. Jude then becomes entangled in a plot to assissinate the Chancellor, getting the revenge he has always wanted for Vik and a chance for freedom. But of course, things don't go as they were expected and Jude is thrown into the auction with the Chancellor set on winning him. He becomes involved with the hysterics (rebels) and may finally get a chance at revenge and freedom in a whole new way.

This book was so gripping and had so many twists and turns. The chapters are short but quick flowing and are backed full of action. The way this book ends leaves you wanting more and I would be interested in seeing what happens next if the author wrote more in this world. I would be interested in more by this author in the future and I really hope that this book gets the love and hype it deserves!

Thanks to NetGalley for granting me access to this prior to publication. It’s an explosive read, forcing us to question the extent to which we would allow power to go unquestioned.
In this world boys are seen as dangerous and it is essential they are kept apart, given no power and kept subdued. They are not allowed to view the faces of the women who pay for their time, and if they are not bought at auction before the age of seventeen they are sent to the mines.
Our main character is Jude Grant, facing his last auction and desperate to escape the destiny laid in front of him.
Without giving too much away, Jude is enlisted in a daring attempt to overthrow the Chancellor, to topple her from power and bring about change.
Things don’t go to plan. Jude is a determined young man, but we see he is a cog in a much larger machine. That aside, it only takes that one cog to be slightly out of alignment to cause problems.
I found the pacing of this problematic at times and definitely felt I wanted to know more about the mysterious Vor women and how this environment came to be. Very minor niggles, but enough to stop me awarding five stars, which is a shame as this is a book I can see raising a storm amongst readers.

I really enjoyed the way that gender roles weren't just switched but how the balance of power shifting in that way would change the society and the way that people abused their power. This book was definitely uncomfortable to read, especially as there are points where the boys seemingly make light of each other being raped / sexually assaulted. But this book is meant to make you feel uncomfortable.

Once I found my footing in this book, I found it really engaging and I wanted to just keep reading to see what would happen. There were a lot of twists and turns and I appreciated the way that the reader's perception of the world was warped by this book being written in first person narrative. The ending felt a little trite but it wasn't inherently bad, maybe just too convenient for my tastes? It also feels as though there is room for a sequel to exist which I would be really intrigued to see where the story could go next.

The cover was the thing that first caught my attention, it instantly made me think of The Handmaids Tale by Margaret Attwood. Then the blurb made me think of The Lone City Series by Amy Ewing which as I adored this book had to go straight on my Want To/Must Read List!

The odd thing was as I began reading the book, the very thing that attracted me to it (it reminding me of The Lone City Series by Amy Ewing, but with the gender roles reversed) ended up making me feel put off by it.

The central character we follow during the book is Jude Grant, or lot 150 when he is being viewed for ladies to bid, or reserve him. The rich females of this society are the ruling class, they are the ones objectifying and those purchasing the boys at auction. The other women in this society work in the different houses, such as the House Of Peace, being the Lice (police).

Boys have to work their way up through dormitories, gaining merits, in the hope one day before they are too old, they will either be chosen or be able to buy their way into the House Of Boys. The House Of Boys then trains them to dance, smile, how to walk, how to dress etc in the hope they will be bought by one of the women from the richer houses. The richer the women the better the lifestyle for the boy they buy. A lot of the women have had their family merits handed down to them as opposed to earning them, as perhaps the less wealthy women have to, to make their way up in social standing. Unfortunately for the boys in this society the very best they can hope for is to be bought by an affluent woman. The boys are born with the debt of the males, they are named after. The boys are also charged for the time and care they receive in the Surrogacy House. There are no “relationships” as we would recognise them. Boys are “made” and put to work, as well as being trained to become wards of those women affluent enough to purchase.

Life at the House Of Boys is not easy, naturally there's rivalry, some camaraderie, a lot of bullying, that turns quite violent at one point within the book. Prior to being purchased at auction the boys that are on the “House Of Boys” have training and have appointments with women. The women can just come for a chat with their friends and be served by one of the boys of their choice. Or it can be more of a one on one, meeting, though the boys have to be given permission to speak and of course are still blindfolded. There are rumours of life “outside” the Houses within the Tower. The Chancellor says it is inhabited by people she refers to as “Hysterics”, and they are dangerous. All Jude wishes to do is be bought by the Chancellor as he has a plan, he needs to carry out. Walker, one of the Chancellors currents wards who is charge of some of the boys training.

At the head of everything is the chancellor, a devious woman who both men and women are afraid of. Even those rich women at the head of the different Houses do not totally agree with some of her practices and the things she wants to change, and the alterations and operation she wants to have done to the boys. The boys are prepared, groomed, taught dance, encouraged to look good, all in the hope of bringing a good price at auction. Boys can also be given cosmetic surgery by those who have appointments with them. These boys really are at the whim and mercy of the rich women who are ruled over by the Chancellor.

In this society being bought by a rich woman really seems to be the best these boys can hope for. Can one boy called Jude possibly change this society? With the help of a daughter from one of the richest houses, maybe they can...maybe there is hope and help outside the walls of the tower.

My favourite character is Jude despite all the horrors and mistreatment Jude goes through he still tries to help those around him where ever he can. Jude is so trusting and thinks people are his friends and even when they stand by whilst he is beaten by other boys, he doesn’t blame them. Jude worries about the girl that smells like rain, the one that books him for appointments, especially when she cries. I adored the “relationship” Jude has with Ro, a female debutante from an influential family, yet to choose which House she will work in.

I loved the writing style of the book, the way Jude is constantly having an internal dialogue with the boy who the Chancellor bought at auction last year. That boy was called Victor, or Vik by the other boys. Jude doesn’t know whether Vik is alive or dead, or just “gone.” The book may be a work of fiction but it really deals with a lot of difficult subjects, with violence, rape, and discrimination being just three of them. I thought the small quotes/poetry at the beginnings of the different sections of the book were a really great idea. This book was a change from the usual case of females being portrayed as the weaker sex, the slaves, lower class and the oppressed. Instead, it is males that are being used as slaves, sexual objects, and as entertainment.

My immediate thoughts upon finishing this book were that this book has once heck of a twisting, turning plot!

Summing up, I really adored this book, the characters and what an ending! The plot and universe created by the author certainly keep you on the edge of your seat, holding your breath. How the plot ended it makes sense as a standalone book, however if there was going to be more, I would be interested in reading more about Jude and Ro, and this female led civilisation. It would be fascinating to learn, if and how Jude could change the universe and future of society.

A speculative novel that flips our social norms and injustices on their heads is always going to draw me in, so I was very excited when I got accepted for the debut novel from this brand new, talented YA voice.

Jude Grant lives in a world where once a year, young men from the House of Boys are auctioned off to elite women. Those who don’t get selected are doomed to a life in the mines, when they turn 17. Jude’s best friend Vik was murdered at the hands of the Chancellor and he is now hell-bent on exacting revenge and breaking free from the life laid out for him.

There is a strong emphasis on the good-looking boys being more desirable and valuable -an attitude that we’re used to seeing attributed to the value of women. The language surrounding the auctions is also very reminiscent of what you’d hear at female beauty pageants. Physical beauty appears to be the most lucrative, sacred quality for these boys and it was fascinating to see this gender reversal and the results be the same.

I’ll admit that it took me a while to get on board with the belief that men would allow themselves to become the objectified gender but I guess if they are yet to have an emancipation, why would they consider that things could be different? The more details I gained about the world that Jude lived in, the easier the dynamics were to believe.

Jude meets and forms a friendship with a young girl called Romali Vor, who has her own reasons for wanting to overthrow the tyrannical Chancellor. Eventually, Jude joins forces with her to execute their revolutionary plan. Romali is quite an enigmatic character and I definitely wanted more background information on her. However, I loved what I did get. She’s a badass, no-nonsense rebel who is dedicated to bringing justice and equality to the dystopia she lives in.

One very tense scene, just before the violent, pulse-racing climax hit, featured Jude and Romali waltzing while sharing information. While being incredibly cinematic, this scene was full of pending drama and darkness. The dum-da-das of the waltz seemed to be echoing in the upcoming chaos and I was just waiting for something to happen.

As you might expect, there are some very dark goings-on at the heart of this world. All of the worst, most evil things that typically happen in modern dystopians are here. It’s not just a case of rife misandry and injustice. It’s completely horrific levels of manipulation and control, not dissimilar to those experienced by women, people of colour and those living outside of the heteronormative lifestyle have been dealing with in real life for decades.

The Boy I Am is an original, exciting read from a talented debut author. It has elements of The Handmaid’s Tale and Malorie Blackman’s Noughts and Crosses series but it is definitely a unique idea all on its own. The seemingly far-fetched nature of this society may mean that it takes you a while to get into it but once you realise that the effects of a matriachy appear to be exactly the same as those of a patriarchy, it becomes a lot more relatable and believable. Compelling, unique and a promising new YA.

The Boy I Am

written by K. L. Kettle

cover design by Thomas Truong

published by Stripes

January 2021








From a reader's point of view

If you want an example of outstanding YA speculative fiction, then look no further. On one hand, The Boy I Am is a futuristic thriller full of plot twists, big emotions and pace. On the other, it's an issue-driven book (not a pejorative term from me) examining questions of gendered dominance, violence and power imbalance. That perhaps sounds 'worthy' and dull - it isn't. Intense, full of action and heartbreak, it still manages a fundamental optimism.


From a writer & editor's perspective (slight spoilers)

look out for these goodies:

* highly effective misdirection

* unsettling resonance with contemporary society

* powerful set pieces

* second person address heightens emotional connection with the largely unseen Vik

* dark & dry humour

* compelling afterword by the author

* enticing book list in end pages

Thank you so much, NetGalley, Little Tiger Group and Stripes Publishing, for the chance to read and review this book!

A note from the publisher: The Boy I Am contains content some readers may find triggering, including sexual aggression, trafficking, murder and surgical procedures.

Once a year, lucky young men in the House of Boys are auctioned to the female elite and they could have the chance to become their wards. But if they aren't selected before they turn seventeen their destiny is underground in the mines. Jude is determined to avenge his best friend, dead at the hands of the powerful Chancellor, but soon enough he finds himself tangled in a much bigger plot, fighting for his freedom and justice.

The boy I am is a dystopian novel, set in a world ruled by women and where men are considered inferior and to be used as the women want. They can't look at women's faces, they can't speak until they are spoken to, they have to obey a certain set of rules. This is thought-provoking novel, with reversed roles, and the author wrote brilliantly about gender roles, power dynamics, consent and freedom.
The main character is Jude and the writing style is very peculiar, because he keeps an ongoing conversation with his dead best friend, Viktor, talking to him in his head, imagining his answers and questions, remembering their past together, while navigating a complex and intriguing world, with very different rules, opportunities and roles between women and men.
It was really interesting reading this book, because the setting is fascinating and the characterization brilliant. Besides Jude, I loved reading about Romali and Viktor.
This dystopian novel is captivating and full of plot twists and will keep the reader glued to the pages, until the end. I devoured this book, because I was so intrigued and I needed to know how would it end!
There are scenes that can be triggering, so be careful while reading!

I recommend this book to those who are looking for something fresh and original, a novel that will make you think and reflect about roles and gender and injustice.

The Boy I Am is a fantastic and original read. Taut with tension, it's thought provoking and a book you will be telling all your friends to add to their to read lists.

I’m not really sure what I expected going into this. I’d heard about The Boy I Am online and seen the cover (which is stunning) but knew very little about the story. Jude is a member of the House of Boys, and is up for auction for the last time before he gets sent to he mines. He’s hoping that one of the rich ladies from the Tower will favour him and pick him as her ward, but especially he hopes the Chancellor picks him, so that he can kill her. A cool, trippy, slightly disturbing dystopian future where all men are seen as slaves to their instincts, savage beasts, and in need of taming, where women are the guardians of society, and where everything we know is flipped on its head (that’s not what makes it disturbing by the way, the actions of some of the leaders is).

I loved this, I need more in this world, I need more about Jude, and I need to see what happens after the climax of this absolutely brilliant book!

Full review coming to aboywithabook.Wordpress.com

I enjoyed this flipped dystopian story's constant pace; it's as though the author doesn't want you to take time for yourself because the protagonist Jude, isn't afforded that luxury.
Jude's lack of social intelligence due to his dystopian circumstance is clear. He has been groomed by the Chancellor's head boy to be auctioned to the highest bidder and through his grooming, tries to control his destiny by using a learned numbered system of facial expressions, whilst down in the depths of High House, he battles to survive with the other boys.
Jude is a character that you cannot help but feel compassion for and I can really see, especially if Jude was a woman in our own world, how the story itself touches in and out of reality.
The story shows us that we should not accept certain antisocial behaviours that sometimes fly just under the radar just because it has been accepted by so many generations before us.

I liked what this did for the most part but there were moments were the characters seemed more 2d than they were intended to be. The plot and story was good and this made some interesting points with its narrative and dialogue. I wish that there had been more that explored the world of the city.

A powerful, role-reversing, dystopian YA debut that really gets you thinking. It's got the same vibe as The Power by Naomi Alderman, which I loved, and it includes a really thoughtful afterword from the author and a reading list that includes some absolute gems. I can imagine people reading this, thinking about it, talking about it. I think it's a book that stays with you at some level and that makes it very special indeed.

I have three indicators of a really good book: I stay up far too late reading, I tell other people to read it so I can discuss it with someone and I have to take a break before I pick up a new book (AKA the book hangover). This hit all three.

I notice other reviewers commenting that “The Boy I Am” has much in common with Atwood’s “The Handmaid’s Tale.” Sure, I can see the obvious parallels often found in dystopian fiction but I feel it shares more with Alderman’s “The Power” or Blackman’s “Noughts and Crosses” series. Subverting the stereotypical roles of race or gender provides a new lens to view systemic problems.

In “The Boy I am,” flipping the power dichotomy of men and women shines a powerful light on the absurdity of the treatment and oppression of women. There are big teachable moments, like consent, body autonomy and democracy. But I really respect the way Kettle handled the more nuanced examples, that would filed under the everyday sexism category. The smiles. We foster a young man and teaching him about overt sexism was straightforward; we found it far more challenging to explain why give-us-a-smile-love style behaviours and attitudes are toxic. Hearing Jude’s inner monologue as he navigates life with a catalogue of smiles is absolutely genius! It provides a recognisable lived experience for many readers and a new way in for those who have never experienced it.

They’re not really criticisms but I have two thoughts. The pace of the action rattles along full tilt even as you’re acclimatising to the world Kettle is building. I sometimes find that disorientating but I know other readers won’t. Also, the book predominately deals with a dichotomous presentation of gender; when you’re building an entire world in a single novel, I can see why. I would have enjoyed some more playing around at the margins but that’s just me. Not every book has to deliver everything to every reader.

Like Atwood, Alderman and Blackman, Kettle’s characters are not two dimensional. The protagonists are flawed, you can’t always trust the narrative voice and things aren’t neatly tied in a bow at the end. This is refreshing. And just as I’ve done with the powerhouse trio, I will be finding more of Kettle’s work to gobble and I’ll be returning to “The Boy I Am” for a second reading.

This is a dystopian fiction set in the future with recognisable elements of a time gone by, In this book, females are the dominant sex and boys are raised for the pleasure of the women in their society. The male sex cannot be trusted to contain their passion should they look upon females, being raised to believe that: 'we blind ourselves to beauty,' which results in any interactions taking place with male characters being blindfolded or the females hiding their 'beauty' behind masks. Boys are objectified and exist to compete for promotion and, ultimately, the favour and protection of females in the upper sections of society. In this book, we follow Jude trying to uncover the deceptions behind the structure of society. He is seeking vengeance for the apparent cold-blooded murder of his best friend, Vic, one year before. Yet, everything is not as it seems. As his history with Vic is revealed, there is more to this 'debt' than meets the eye. This is a world which shifts and changes at a rapid pace and it is difficult as a reader to know who to trust as the characters unravel.

There is some violent episodes in this book which some readers may find disturbing, but do seem to be in keeping with that harshness of the lessons that Jude must learn.

I found the writing to be pacey and captivating. I was intrigued as to who were the good guys and who Jude should not trust. In the turn of a page, the author could change my opinion as to which characters to trust.

A great book for fans of dystopian YA. Inventive, fast paced and emotionally rewarding with a lot to say about society.

A strong debut! KL Kettle has created a YA gender dystopia that forces a young reader to pause and reflect at regular intervals on what it says about our own society.

It has echoes of A Handmaid's Tale and Noughts and Crosses, and is written in the kind of punchy way that appeals to YA. I found the use of 'fogging' as opposed to 'fucking' quite jarring each time I encountered it - it broke the authenticity that was built up so well. YA is a market that thrives of realness and authenticity, and character voice needs to come through crystal clear.

The text structure is great, and KL manages to throw us into the midst of a heady plot right from the offset. Jude is a likeable main character, whose introspection about his circumstances allows the reader's lens to cast inward too. The kinds of beauty regimen the boys have to put themselves feels farcical, yet we quickly recognise that real-world girls find themselves pressured to conform to such standards. The leery behaviours of the powerful old women gave me Trump echoes throughout, again forcing a look at the nature of toxic masculinity, especially when manifested among the socially and politically powerful.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for review.
An interesting subversion of the 'Handmaid's Tale' formula, a dystopia where men are the property of women. By reversing the "traditional" gender roles, we are given more to think about regarding the conversation around the structures of power and their abuses. Well written and thought provoking.

The Boy I Am is That was one riveting, hypnotic and unsettling read!

Set in a dystopian future, in which men have been entirely blamed for the wars and destruction of the past and women are in charge, sixteen-year-old Jude lives in the House of Boys, where he's taught to dance and entertain and please women. He's grieving the loss of his friend and is reluctantly groomed as an assassin. His assassination attempt, however, doesn't go to plan...

Entering Jude's world is dizzying at first, you're disoriented by the gender-flipped mindsets, and that's what makes the book unsettling, forcing the reader to realise how absurd the gender norms are in our own world. For example - when he's in danger, and a woman assumes it's her duty to protect him. Or when he's resisting a woman's advances and doesn't want to be thought of as That Sort of Boy.

I was riveted by Jude's story and the world KL Kettle creates, and it made me question the deep-set gender roles we have in society today.

‘My name is Jude Grant and I am alive.’

Put this YA on your TBR, buy it! It’s mind blowing, unique, gripping and beautifully written. Swapping gender roles, the world turned upside down. Underage boys being sold to female elite at an auction. Or a future in the mines.

Sometimes I start reading a book, doubting if I would like it. Like this one. But from the moment I read one page of The Boy I Am, I knew it would be a five star read, easily. It gripped me from the first sentence when Jude introduced himself, the auction so realistic, Jude smiling so he would be sold and constantly talking in his mind to Vik, his best friend:
‘’Pull it together’, says the part of me that sounds like you, Vik. And it’s strong like you were. Brave like you were. It’s the voice of the boy I want to be. ‘You owe me’, it says. ‘You’re still alive’.’

This is a powerful story, not only because of the premise but also because of the writing, first and second person in one. Incredibly clever to do so. First person writing can feel close and personal but using first AND second person is almost oppressive, pulling the reader into the story and not letting go until the last page.

Jude lost his friend Vik and he wants revenge. Therefore he needs to be sold to the Chancellor. He wants to murder her for what she did to Vik, just push her over the edge. The story thunders on from the first moment, the pace incredibly fast. From the auction to the Chancellor to a beauty pageant including flashbacks, describing Jude’s past and his friendship with Vik. The flashbacks are moving and my heart ached:
‘There’s that boy somewhere, the boy who danced, the one they told not to, the one they locked away until he stopped. And he’s been such a good boy.’

There’s so much I’d like to say about Jude and the people around him including Vik. I won’t though because I don’t want to spoil anything. But believe me, this story is thrilling and poignant and important. The way men and boys are being treated feels inhuman. But women have been treated like this for centuries, dominated by men, no right to education, sexually assaulted etc. And that’s precisely what K.L. Kettle wants us to experience. Evoking the disturbing feeling that this can’t be true. But it has been and still is. This book is about women versus men. But it could also be about Black versus white or any other example where inequality exists. Because we all should be equal, right?

The only thing I’m not sure of is the cover, it’s a bit garish to my opinion but who cares when the content is so magnificent?

Imagine a world where women are safe from men. Imagine a world where women are in charge. Imagine a world where men no longer reduce women to something to flirt with or dismiss as beneath them. This is the way of life in K. L. Kettle's dystopian novel The Boy I Am. War has left the Earth in ruins, and it is no longer safe to go outside, yet humanity is surviving in tall, secure tower blocks overseen by the Chancellor. Men and boys are confined to the basement floors as a punishment for their behaviour during the war. To earn their right to live on the upper floors, they must learn to behave like a gentleman, and never look at a woman's skin without their permission.

The protagonist, Jude, is running out of time to earn the right to live amongst the women. If he does not gain a sponsor, he faces a future in the dangerous mines. Yet, Jude is not sure he wants to live with the women, who have demeaned him for his gender since his birth. He has seen another side to them and believes the Chancellor has killed his best friend. Jude wants to escape, risk the poisonous fog outside and search for a better life. To do this, the Chancellor must die.

The way women treat men and boys is uncomfortable to read. Female readers, in particular, may have experienced similar treatment at the hands of men. Feminists desire an equal world, but there is the risk of going too far the other way. Yet, as Jude discovers, it is not as black and white as Female versus Male. An underground gang of women known as Hysterics are also trying to escape. They want to save themselves and the boys from a society not run by women, but by the elite.

K. L. Kettle explains her intentions behind the novel in a letter to the reader at the end of the book. She quotes Lord Acton's (1834-1902) proverb "absolute power corrupts absolutely" and questions if everyone is equal, does everyone have the ability to abuse the power they have? What may have seemed a good idea for humanity after the war, has become an oppressive state where no one is safe from those in power, not even the women. The Chancellor controls everyone, but Jude and the Hysterics are determined to take that power away from her.

Telling the story from Jude's perspective highlights the faults in today's societies. Many are unaware of the belittling behaviour happening around them, but when the roles are reversed, they are obvious. The Boy I Am is both thrilling and eye-opening, challenging gender roles and power dynamics in general. Those who have read books such as Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman are guaranteed to enjoy K. L. Kettle's novel.