Cover Image: The How

The How

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Member Reviews

This was definitely a refer to book and I have been referring to a lot to help me bring on my confidence, but it is not a self help book it is completely different but it works well.

I was given a free copy by netgalley and the publishers but the review is completely my own.

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Feel good self help book. A new author to me and different from my expectations. Lighter on depth and practical advice than I'd imagined, but an enjoyable quick read.

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I found this a little wordy to enjoy. The ideas within it are really interesting, but I don't think I really connected with any of them to the level I wanted to. It is thought provoking and I'm sure other people would find it more beneficial than I did. Would be a great discussion starter!

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The How is my first book by Yrsa Daley-Ward and will definitely be the last. I liked that this wasn't a typical self help and found the writing and especially the poetry sections beautifully written.

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An enjoyable read, but not what I initially thought it would be. I really enjoy Yrsa Daley-Ward's poetry, and thought that this might be at the core of the book, but the musings and advice - while lyrical and beautifull written - didn't really stay with me as her poetry usually does. I don't often read books in the self help genre (although I'm not sure this book can be solely defined as that!) so this is just due to personal preference more than anything else.

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Sad to say that this book just wasn't great. I love the author's poems and will continue to read any poetry she puts out but as far as this goes it just isn't good. The whole book feels like a very inadequate self-help book. I love the author's mind and how she writes but I felt a lot of the content of this book would have been better saved for her newsletter than compiled into a book. The chapters that ended with the cliche instructions written in capitals were by far the worst bits of the book.

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This book is hard to categorize or synopsize, in the best way! The author, Yrsa Daley-Ward expresses such vulnerability, transparency, & openness while shedding light on an array of topics such as addiction, love, relationships, grief & mental health. This is a book you can pick up again and again, I have no hesitation in recommending it. Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for the ARC.

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It’s hard to categorise this book. It doesn’t fit neatly here or there, and I think that is part of its charm. It weaves a blend of poetry and prose around meditations on how to be.

To me it felt—and I think you feel this book as much as read it—like a kind of unconditional positive regard.

The author says her inner critic would ask why are you telling people what they already know? But by opening up a graceful, lyrical reflection on life (and death) the author invites us to develop a deeper kind of knowing.

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for a copy of the book in exchange for my review.

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The How is an authentic place to go to find your voice through the lens of a writer who has found hers. Yrsa Daley-Ward is authentic and expresses her vulnerability with relevance., transparency and openness. She is unfraid to touch on 'hard to connect with' topics such as mental health, sexuality, love, grief, addiction.,.And she does so with heightened tenderness. A book of its time, The How is a must have on the shelf of any one in search of self.

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I loved bone, so I was excited to read this. There has been a proliferation of sources of advice on living a life that is just and respectful, but this work is gentle and offers a unique perspective.

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A beautifully written book about the author's innermost thoughts and feelings, and how the reader might feel the same way or be in the same situation. I really liked the lyrical writing but I must admit I didn't get much out of it by the time I finished. I think I expected a deeper study on the How but this feels surface-level, like a collection of streams of thoughts let loose on the page. I might have been more receptive if I had read this another time. I'll definitely give it another try, perhaps with a physical book so I can fully immerse myself in the message.

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Sadly, not my thing. Part prose, part self help book, this seemed messy and confused. I am a fan of Yrsa Daley-Ward, having loved Bone, but unfortunately I didn't enjoy this. Probably a case of its not you, its me!

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An interesting look at how to cope with the modern world. Basically a book about how to figure out what your boundaries are and then to put them in place. Makes you think.

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'We are missing so much every time we behave as though the world is something outside of ourselves.'

The How is a self-help book of sorts. It is Yrsa Daley-Ward's inner thoughts and feelings about life and how we can make the most of it, and stay true to ourselves. She says herself, that this book is, in a way, telling people what they already know. And I agree, there was nothing spectacularly new and revolutionary in this book. But I don't think that that took away from the beauty of it. Sometimes we simply need reminders about life and the ups and downs of it and this book provided that.

It discussed a range of topics from everyday life and the struggles of navigating it, to grief. My favourite essay was the one of self-care and self love. It was a good reinforcement that self-care doesn't have to mean putting on a facemask and painting your toes. Instead, it is about what makes you feel closer and truer to yourself.
I did enjoy this book and I think it's one that I would comeback to if I was feeling particularly thoughtful about life. I loved the authors honestly and how she confesses that this book is at the end of the day, for her.

'I wrote from my own experience, as someone constantly wishing to follow my heart and always having to move myself out of the way.'

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I was confused by this book – is it self-help, is it poetry? Does it even matter what genre it is? The author endeared me to them when they said that they initially rolled their eyes at the thought of keeping a daily gratitude list as this is also my default reaction, although of course they slowly changed their mind and are now a great advocate of such things. This book makes you think about your approach to life, the universe and everything. It also has a lot of exercises to work through that are sprinkled liberally throughout and it was these that jarred with me and turned me off it, which probably indicates that I am exactly the sort of person who should spend the time doing them! Of course I did not, however I did benefit from the other content and can see why many will find this book useful and uplifting.
Many thanks to the publisher for a review copy via NetGalley.

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Yrsa Daley-Ward's 'The How' is a collection of 'notes on the great work of meeting yourself', and it, unfortunately, reads as such. A bunch of notes.

Now, it is Daley-Ward, after all, so many of the notes are brilliant, beautiful, breathtaking. Even in as little as one sentence. But as a whole, I struggled to find cohesion that made 'The How' more than a series of good Instagram captions or newsletters.

The collection feels like a hodgepodge of thoughts without a clear thread to say 'this is poetry' or 'this is self-help'. I suppose this is what they call genre-bending, but in all honesty, it gave me a bit of a headache.

For what it is packaged as, I was left wanting. Much of the 'advice' in the book can be summed up as: Spend time outdoors, write down what you're grateful for, be kind to yourself. Which, of course, is not bad advice at all. We've just heard it before.

I think 'The How' is best read slowly, savouring one small section at a time, or it becomes much of the same that not even Daley-Ward's incredible writing talent can save.

The quote that sums up 'The How' best is probably "this is a letter from your author, who, now I think of it, has been writing to herself by writing to you" from 'One Last Thing', because yes. She was. She was writing to herself, and many might not be able to relate to that. I, for one, was not.

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The How
by Yrsa Daley-Ward


This book is moving and thought provoking.
I thoroughly recommend it.

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This is the sort of book i'll be buying for friends. A true gift that will uplift and inspire anyone who wishes to tune out the noise of the modern world, and look a little deeper into themselves and to get more joy out of the moment. It will help anyone who wishes to unlock their creative potential. The poetic and wise passages are both soothing and invigorating. It's the kind of book you'll forever be dipping into when you need it. Would highly recommend!

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I want to start by saying how much I loved this book. It is self help, yes, but not written in the same dry way as many books of this genre are. The author writes from her own experience and this makes her advice and guidance feel more authentic and enables a deeper connection with her reader. There is passion in the lyrical way this book is written and I felt she was writing from her soul directly to mine. Everything I read resonated with me on some level; reading it felt like coming home. A truly unique book.

This is not a book to read quickly in one sitting, nor a book to lose yourself in for a few hours. Each chapter is full of wisdom and insights and I often found myself pausing to ponder on what I had read and how it applied to me and my life, as well as what I was learning. At the end of each chapter there are journal prompts that help you take what you have read deeper and further; a valuable way to absorb and implement what you are reading.

The general theme of the book is the idea of looking within to find your truth rather than looking outside of yourself and becoming what others tell you to be. Topics and ideas covered include enjoying the journey rather than focusing on the outcome, finding your own joy, prioritising time for the important things, belonging, coping with depression, and finding stillness so you can hear your soul’s message. She also writes about death and dealing with grief in an incredibly deep and sensitive way and I would recommend reading this if you are going through grief yourself.

Overall, this was a beautifully written book, straight from the heart of it’s writer. Thank you, Yrsa Daley-Ward, for these words and guidance - I shall definitely be buying my own copy to put on my bookshelf so I can dip in whenever I like. I only wish I could buy it in hardback!

My thanks to Penguin Books UK and Netgalley for a free copy of this book in return for an honest review. All opinions in this review are my own.

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I have mixed feelings about this book. Was it an engaging read? For the most part, yes. Did I enjoy reading? Again, mostly yes. Did I find it insightful? Not really, no.

This book is described as an exploration of how we can meet ourselves, with short lyrical musings and stunning poetry; unfortunately for me it struggles with all of those things.

I typically adore Daley-Ward’s writing/poetry, but this for me was a stream of consciousness, somewhat lilting at times, but poetic and lyrical feels a stretch. The ‘workbook’ type explorations felt quite few and far between, I did give them all a go and really enjoyed the pause for thought, but they weren’t really anything different to my typical daily meditation exercises that I find elsewhere. And that’s what I found with most of the book, the thoughts are nothing really new if you are already familiar with these kind of meditative or reflective practices (or even on the ‘spiritual’ side of social media). There are visualisation exercises, opportunities to reflect and various other meditative practices.

I feel like I should say it’s not a bad book, it’s always great to have something to guide your thinking in this exploratory way and I’m sure there are many who will find the contents really helpful; I personally found it quite a relaxing January, bedtime read.

I occasionally work with public writing groups and think this book would be great as way for them to prompt their thinking and relax them into writing their own similar explorations where they can engage with themselves. Some of the prompts were great for loosening my mind a little, and think they’d be great exercises in getting people to just put words on paper.

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