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Other People Manage

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This is beautifully written. It is a book about love. It’s a very quiet novel. The characters are well developed. A good book

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So good to read a book about two lesbians in a long term relationship, just living their lives and doing their best with the chaos around them. The narrative strengths are the portrayal of an ordinary life, forming a relationship, working, talking care of each other and navigating family dynamics. The weakness is the structure, we were at least 30% in before there was chapter break and then the last chapter (5), was only a few pages. I longed for more chapters to break up the text a little, but enjoyed reading about ordinary lives.

With thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review

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A story of love and everyday challenges and what happens when that everyday is interrupted by tragedy and grief. It’s viscerally raw and the trauma felt very present but for me there was just something missing. I did not fully connect with the main characters and felt there was not enough depth to fully understand their relationship.

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This is a sad and thoughtful tale of love and loss, beautifully executed through the voice of Marge.

It’s 1970s Minneapolis. Marge falls in love with Peg - and despite ups and downs, they move in together. In the background, there is Megan - a woman obsessed with Peg, who essentially terrorizes the couple, resulting in Marge taking drastic action. This is one part of the novel - and once Megan is out of the story, the plot moves on. It isn’t clear that this is set in the 70s which is a shame - Hawley could have made it more evocative, I think.

Sadly, Peg gets diagnosed with ovarian cancer and doesn’t survive. What follows is Marge’s management of her grief, her relationship with Peg’s much younger sisters and their offspring, and how she continues to live her life in the absence of Peg.

The writer deals with sensitive issues in an adept way here. ‘Other People Manage’ is a reflection of how life is for many people, and what happens when things come along to interfere with the trajectory.

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Well written - the author is definitely a talent! Grief, family, love and life. I look forward to seeing what the author does next.

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This short novel full of introspection and moments of exquisite insight on life, love and the human condition is a poignant meditation on grief and the loss of a life partner. Although the story features a lesbian couple, the characters sexuality doesn’t matter a jot. This is a story of love in all its many guises and the everyday challenges that come its way and the obstacles that have to be navigated. It isn’t a rosy retrospection on a life shared, but an honest, sometimes painfully so, contemplation on our failings and those of others and muddling through life the best we can.

The book opens with bus driver Marge numb with grief following the loss of her long-term partner, Peg, from cancer. A viscerally raw Marge narrates and the opening pages feature some stunning turns of phrase on Peg’s absence and the futility of Marge’s own life in the aftermath. The clock then turns back to the 1970s when the pair first meet at a Women’s Coffeehouse but the presence of a persistent three-night stand of Peg’s shapes the early days of their relationship and neither remains unchanged by these traumatic events. Peg’s troublesome family, amongst whom Marge feels like an awkward interloper after her death, feature extensively throughout the book. I seemed to learn so much about Peg’s two younger sisters, flighty Deena, sensible Jude and her niece, Krystal, yet what I really yearned for was a sense of Peg herself. While Other People Manage is undoubtedly a poignant read, for me there was too much missing to make it a standout novel. There just weren’t enough moments illustrating why Marge and Peg stayed together and I felt like there was a complete absence of chemistry with plain-spoken Marge, who seems to identify as butch, narrating at a remove that felt stilted.

Opening in 1970s Minnesota and spanning the course of two decades, I was expecting hostile attitudes towards Peg and Marge’s relationship and discrimination to feature prominently, possibly even from within Peg’s own family. It never did and its absence made something feel off in what I otherwise found a book that recognises love can never be all-conquering. I wanted to like this book more than I did, perhaps because of my own sexuality, however I was in awe of how well-observed the minutiae of ordinary life for ordinary people was and I hope to read the work of Ellen Hawley again.

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I very much liked the writing in this book. It felt quiet somehow. Unassuming in a way. The writer manages to capture the details of the ordinary so beautifully. The story is of a person looking back at her life, her relationship(s). Now alone, with time and space and perspective to reflect... on herself, her life and her choices and sometimes lack thereof, with a self awareness that is most often only granted us in retrospect.

The book is divided into parts 3 parts consisting of paragrafs of texts but with no discernable chapters. To me it felt like the narrator being there with you, next to you, just talking - a long monologue, her trying to make sense of the years past. The book is in no way plot driven, just as life isn't. But the pace is still fast enough to easily keep you engaged.

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Oh I thought this was a piece of quiet beauty. Such a moving book but in a way that you wouldn’t really notice, it’s a skilful telling of a life that had an impact on just one person and how that life had to deal with loss and grief and extra demands. I thought it was lovely.

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Marge and Peg meet and fall in love and negotiate a life together. They are close to Peg's family as the generations of the family repeat each others' mistakes. When Peg dies, Marge finds a way to carry on.

The author does describe grief and relationships with some beauty and originality but as a novel whole, I found this slow and meandering. The other characters are probably more interesting than Marge and Peg themselves, but are always off-centre and it was difficult as a reader to orient myself to any character in particular. Not a particularly enjoyable read for me, though I did finish it.

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I really enjoyed this book.
It was an interesting one, because it almost felt like a diary. Nothing was happening and everything was happening all at the same time which made for a really intriguing read, a great tribute to normal life. The writing was beautiful, and I really liked the story and character dynamics.
My main criticism, which may have just been my copy I'm not sure, is that the chapters/parts are huge, which made it difficult to get through at times. That being said, I still found it an easy, enjoyable read, and I can definitely see it gathering well-deserved attention.
4/5 stars.

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I loved this book. We meet Marge and Peg who meet and become a couple. So different from each other but the relationship somehow works, through all the ups and downs. The relationship is tested by Megan, a jealous ex of Peg's, and then by Peg's sisters. A seemingly simple novel, about people just trying to get through life, but it is so much more than that. It is written so lyrically, so evocatively, you cannot help but be drawn into the lives of these well written characters.

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“Because love doesn’t conquer all & even then I’d half guessed that. It does the best it can”

Other People Manage is a short, poignant, snapshot of a novel, following the lives of Marge, her partner Peg & the mismatched family that surrounds them. It’s a queer love story of sorts but it’s really more of a life story. A pretty ordinary tale, about pretty ordinary people, living this extraordinary thing we call life, with all it’s ups, downs, quiet traumas & gentle joys.

I love realistic love. I think that’s why I struggle with traditional romance as a genre - I want grit, I want wonder, I want doubt! I want to see the loyalty, effort & difficulty that goes into long haul partnership & this gives that in spades.

This is a story of love in its many forms. Romantic, sexual, familial, platonic, maternal. Perfect if you enjoy introspective, emotional, character driven stories where plot comes second to the themes, arcs & message behind the narrative. I really really liked it.

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EXCERPT: Peg lit a stick of incense, then went into the bath-mat sized kitchen and started clanging pans around and washing cups for coffee. I leaned against the open doorway, admiring the curve of her shoulder, the angle of her arm. She wasn't beautiful. I knew that and I didn't wish for her to be anything other than what she was. I felt easy with her. I liked the way she threw herself at things, the way she'd opened the door too fast so it slammed into the bed. I liked the way she banged around the kitchen. I liked that she held onto her idea of the parlour even though it made no sense. I liked that she argued with me. It let me know that when she did smile I could believe she meant it.

ABOUT 'OTHER PEOPLE MANAGE': It's Minneapolis in the 1970s, and two women meet in the Women's Coffeehouse. Marge is a bus driver, and Peg is training to be a psychotherapist.

Over the next twenty years, they stay together, through the challenges any couple faces and some that no one expects. Then one day things change, and Marge has to work out what she's left with - and if she still belongs to the family she's adopted as her own.

MY THOUGHTS: I have the feeling that Other People Manage is going to be the most underrated book of the year. Which is a pity. This is a beautifully written book about the ordinary lives of ordinary people. It is a book about love - not romance - love. Everyday love. Family love.

'Love's such a strange thing. One minute the world's crashing down around your head, the next minute everything's fine.' I think we can all relate to that sentiment.

I was immediately drawn into this story. I laughed, I cried and my heart ached for these characters stumbling through their lives, trying to do their best, not wanting to repeat the mistakes of their parents, but having few reference points to guide them. While it might be love that brought Marge and Peg together it's loss that binds them, not just to each other, but to Peg's family. It's a book about acceptance, and doing what needs to be done.

This isn't a book of grand gestures. It's largely a quiet book, but one that wormed its way into my heart and is firmly anchored there. These characters will stay with me for a long time.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

#OtherPeopleManage #NetGalley

I: @ellenhawley_the @_swiftpress

T: @ellen_hawley @_SwiftPress

#fivestarread #deathanddying #familydrama #love #sliceoflife

THE AUTHOR: Ellen Hawley has worked as an editor and copy editor, a talk-show host, a cab driver, a waitress, a janitor, an assembler, a file clerk, and for four panic-filled hours, a receptionist. She has also taught creative writing. She was born and raised in New York, lived in Minnesota for many long, cold winters, and now lives in Cornwall, U.K.(Amazon)

DISCLOSURE: Thank you to Swift Press via Netgalley for providing a digital ARC of Other People Manage by Ellen Hawley for review. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own personal opinions.

For an explanation of my rating system please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page or the about page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com

This review is also published on Twitter, Amazon, Instagram and my webpage

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Review 📚

Other People Manage by Ellen Hawley

Published 14th April

Thank you to @netgalley and @_swiftpress for the E-ARC

The best things about this book are the descriptions of grief and loss; the way Marge (Minnesota bus driver) processes the diagnosis, illness then death of her partner, Peg (therapist). I also found the family dynamics between Peg’s sisters and their children really connected and felt very real.
I must confess, I didn’t so much like Marge, our narrator. Not a dislike but as if she were separated from the rest of the characters by some thick, impermeable cling film which I found somewhat off-putting. That’s a shame because some of the descriptions were very touching but that cling film divide meant I didn’t feel them as fully as I wanted. Entirely possible, of course, that this was intentionally part of the characterisation.
There is an ex (exaggeration of relationship) who is very present as a stalker in the first part of the novel in the earlier stages of their relationship. I won’t spoil that for any review readers. I found this element too disconnected from the rest of the story - other than the later commentary about memory (which did help) but mostly I felt uncomfortable with it because (a) it was a bit close to home (which I guess is a good thing for a book!) and (b) because it felt a bit like an episode of the L word in a dramatised stereotypical fashion. So I’m not sure if that is more my issue than the book’s!

At first, I think this book was disadvantaged in my heart and mind by following its predecessor read as their styles and time frames were so different. This spans nearly 30 years (my previous read mostly one week) so the level of detail was completely different.
But… has this one still got me thinking? Yes it has - and ultimately that indicates to me a book worth reading.

🌟🌟🌟

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Released April 14th

Set in Minneapolis in the 1970s, this story is about the relationship between two women. Peg is training to be a psychotherapist and Marge is a bus driver.

They meet and fall in love, and stay together over the next two decades as they come up against various every day issues, from problematic ex-girlfriends to family drama. When one of them falls ill, the other must face the notion of life without her.

Ach.

This was miserable, tbqh. I did like the setting, and I liked the way the author told the story, but something just fell flat for me. The relationship itself was a bit - I dunno, something felt wrong. They had a quiet kind of love, but I never really felt like they had the deep connection the author wanted us to think they had.

CW discussion of suicide.

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This a thoughtful book, and actually very beautiful in places. It is a story of love and loss, and of the ups and downs of a relationship. It tells the story of a single sex couple and does so with sensitivity and real care for the characters who are as real as if the reader is in the room with them. It did meander just a little aimlessly occasionally, but this is a moving and wonderfully written book

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I have been recommending this book to friends who are struggling, as an encouragement. Marge's story is so raw and honest, and funny, that we go along with her and understand that our lives aren't perfect either, and sometimes it hurts a lot to love, but it's okay. We'll get through this. I will be hand-selling this enthusiastically - it's encouraging, uplifting, honest and funny.

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A beautifully written, thoughtful book about family, belonging and grief. Ellen Hadley’s Other People Manage has a wonderful narrator called Marge, whose life has left her mostly on the outside, until she meets Peg. This is not a simple love story (it is sadder than that), but well worth reading.

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Ellen Hawley’s Other People Manage is a sad book. It definitely has a redemptive ending (I don’t think that’s a spoiler), but three quarters of the novel are pretty sad. Ellen Hawley writes beautifully about grief and finding love (for life, for other people), when you are damaged by your family. What makes it work is that you care about Marge, the narrator, and are willing her to come through the trials that life has thrown at her. Moving and thoughtful.

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This is a sweet story of the relationship of Peg and Marge, a couple who meet in the1970s.
Nothing huge happens but it’s a quiet meditation on a life lived together and the place of a relationship within the wider family.
This is a touching love story: told through Marge’s eyes, you get a strong sense of Peg and who she was.
Recommended: you’ll enjoy this if you like character rather than plot-driven novels that linger over detail and aren’t afraid to dwell on the minutiae that make a relationship and a life.

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