Bluebird At My Window

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Pub Date 15 Feb 2022 | Archive Date 11 Feb 2022
H. Noah, Independent Book Publishers Association (IBPA), Members' Titles

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When faced with trauma, how would you react?

Would you survive, succumb, or lose yourself to your own meaning of justice?

Ann was only seventeen when she died. She tried to be a dutiful daughter, to pray, to repent. But it wasn’t enough. Her mother, Diane, didn’t mean to kill her but when she found Ann consorting with devils, she had no choice. She believed the angels—that in the end, the water would save them both.

But every choice holds weight.

One death, and Arthur is thrown back into the work he wanted to leave. One death, and Richard must face the reality of his choices. One death, and Maddie and Marie are confronted with the hardest parts of love.

If only good intentions were enough to keep them from the carnage of their own decisions . . .

A dark contemporary fiction drenched in blood, this debut novel from H. Noah has an intricate true crime feeling with psychological depth.

Content Warning

The following book centers around processing trauma. Please be aware that it will touch upon such topics as violence, sexual assault (not overly descriptive), racism, microaggressions, misogyny, incest, and homophobia. This book also focuses on mental health and will cover depression, anxiety, PTSD, suicidal ideation, hearing voices, religious fixations, delusions, self-harm, and drug abuse.

This book is dark due to the topics covered. This is not a horror or thriller meant to scare you. Please be kind to yourself and put the book back if you are not in a good place to read any of the things mentioned above.

When faced with trauma, how would you react?

Would you survive, succumb, or lose yourself to your own meaning of justice?

Ann was only seventeen when she died. She tried to be a dutiful daughter, to...

A Note From the Publisher

Book illustrator: Franziska Stern

Editor: Brenna Bailey-Davies

9780578998589 - ebook

9780578998602 - hardback

Book illustrator: Franziska Stern

Editor: Brenna Bailey-Davies

9780578998589 - ebook

9780578998602 - hardback

Available Editions

EDITION Paperback
ISBN 9780578998596
PRICE US$14.99 (USD)

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Average rating from 19 members

Featured Reviews

If you’ve been looking for a story that is completely character-driven and that examines the different paths one chooses to deal with their trauma, then you’re in the right place!
Here’s something Bluebird At My Window showed that I absolutely loved. The conflicting everything. Someone can be simultaneously toxic and good. They can deal with their trauma while harming their loved ones and their loved ones are allowed to want to protect themselves while still think they’re being selfish for that, and all this conflict adds depth to the characters. Even the side characters.
Ok let’s go to the chapter formatting because that was *chef’s kiss* especially the way the formatting showed each characters mental state and how the formatting changes as their stories progresses.
And last but not least, the amount of validity in this book. You’re still valid if you want to put you first, and you’re still valid if you think you’re weak, and your emotions are still valid and everything is valid and I loved that. (A bit spoilery since I’ll mention a small tiny event in this part so skip it if you want: there’s even a teenage kid going through a breakup and he’s just a side character but his dad told him his feelings are valid and I absolutely loved that! We often see in media that teenagers’ feelings aren’t valid because they “haven’t gone through tougher stuff yet” and this book calls bullshit on every single one of these stereotypes)
And I know this review is a bit longer than my usual ones but NOTHING can encompass the amount of feelings in this book. And the way we see different characters deal with trauma differently and choose different paths, and the way anyone could choose these paths and that these paths aren’t linear or obvious. And the symbolism 10/10 (yes I had to ask the author about the symbolism because I can’t pick up on symbolism even if my life depended on it, but I had a vague idea about there being symbolism so, that counts)

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'I'm not me anymore.'

(4.5) When a woman commits an unspeakable crime, convinced her daughter is possessed by the devil, it sets off a chain of events connecting her family with the detectives assigned to the case, examining how no one remains untouched by the legacy of trauma and violence.

Bluebird At My Window unfolds gradually, and I found it staggering how my empathy/sympathy shifted for certain characters as the story went on. It was truly impressive how H. Noah managed to hook the claws of one character in particular into me, and I couldn't let her go. Arthur, the detective driven to the edge by justice for a child he couldn't save, resonated with me deeply, particularly in parallel with Marie, who experiences her own trauma and must live with the fallout of that, supported by her girlfriend Maddie. Towards the climax and finale of the novel, where Marie and Maddie's storyline comes to the fore, I was struck by how actuely apt so many of the lines were to my own feelings and experiences.

This novel truly grew on me as I delved deeper and deeper into the story. At first, I wasn't too sure how I would feel about it, because there were a few too many point of view characters for my personal tastes. I still feel more time could have been given to character development if there were less narrators. However, that is my only slight criticism. Otherwise, I am full of praise for this novel. It may be difficult for some to read at times, and the author provides content warnings, but I also think it is a powerful and necessary read. The characters' stories, and particularly Marie, will stay with me.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing a free eARC of Bluebird At My Window. These opinions are my own.

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The story is a fast-paced, dark young adult fiction. It turned out to be more interesting and more emotionally engaging than I expected it to be.

This book is perfect for someone who wants to start reading fantasy as well as for the avid readers who wants to enjoy a short, emotional dark read in one sitting. Yes, it's that investing.

Regarding the characters, they are quite expressive and their presence is strong in the entire story. That's the highlight. I am impressed with the character involvement and their character development.

The writing is totally engaging from the very beginning. It's thrilling. I feel that the chapters are well planned. The writing balances well the plot and the unexpected writing in verse in some parts (hello, Diane Loucks!). You will love this one.

I just love this book!

Please do not forget to read the content warning at the beginning of the book.

Thank you, author, for the advance reading copy.

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This book is incredible. I could not put it down!

The writing is remarkable, poignant, gritty, and unforgettable. The way the formatting changes with the characters’ emotional state was phenomenal. I’m still not over it, and I know this book will stay with me for a very long time.

And I have never seen a content warning page so detailed and informative before, it was wonderful to read before going into the book.

This is not a happy book. It is a story about the different effects of trauma, and the ways lives are changed because of it.

The characters were created brilliantly, the plot was vivid, and the psychological true-crime style is amazing.

I loved this book so much, and if you are comfortable with reading darker themes, I absolutely recommend it!

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Shout out to the author for doing TW. There were TW both before I downloaded the book, and when I opened the book. They really made sure you knew what to expect which is something that should be more prevalent in everything, but especially horror. This book is about the ripple effects of trauma, and how it can effect people directly and indirectly involved in events, and generational trauma. This was one of my first reads of 2022 and I really enjoyed it. The multi POV and short chapters made me want to keep reading to see what happened. Very interesting read that was not what I expected it to be.

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This book is a punch to the gut, it will make you dig deep down and face things you may not have even known were relevant in your own life. It will make you question your own views on how you both deal with or react to someone else's way of dealing with trauma and grief.

I loved how this book was set up, showcasing each character. As the story unfolds, you get longer and more detailed chapters. Honestly, this was genius for this book, it just made so much sense and added even more depth to each character storyline. It was a little hard to keep up with at first, but it got easier as the story went on, and we learned more about each character.

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Bluebird At My Window is…just wow. It is dark. Deep in the trenches of dark emotions and mental illness you will wallow. Breathing is in short pants. And windows close as you look feverishly for that stupid bird to bring you some light. Seriously dark stuff here folks. Dark and delicious.

H. Noah is…I have no words at the moment. The story started around Arthur’s journey and grew from there according to the Author. Arthur’s story alone is enough to make you feel for every prosecutor out there. I was right there with Arthur during Ann’s case and beyond. Then add in the diversity of characters and points of views and just…damn. I know this isn’t a helpful review, but seriously Noah’s writing is really good.

Noah evokes all of the emotions that people feel when a trauma happens, even when they are only on the edges of it. Then adds another trauma that everyone feels. All the while continuing the ongoing story of the first trauma. Noah showcases how mental health is dealt with in the criminal justice system and how it is dealt with in society and families. What people will do to save themselves and to save others. The people we drag down into our quagmire of emotions so that they end up with just as many scars. Noah writes bares all of this to readers and it hurts in such a good way.

The individual stories alone are absorbing but put them together and you have Bluebird At My Window - a phenomenal jump into the deep end of trauma fiction.

I received an ARC of this book, and I am writing a review without prejudice and voluntarily.

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