Daughters Grow up Feeding on Mother’s Emotions

Self-Recovery Guide to Heal the Love-Hate Relationship between Mothers and Daughters, and How to Protect our Daughters from Emotional Legacy

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Pub Date 12 Jun 2022 | Archive Date 17 Aug 2022

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Description

“Mother is Mother, Daughter is Daughter”

- A self-recovery guide for all of mothers and daughters by a psychoanalytic expert

- How mothers can reclaim their lives as an independent woman and human being

Why do mothers turn more to their daughters than sons when feeling upset or distressed? Why do mothers look upon their happily married daughters with not just pride but a hint of jealousy? Why do daughters, when thinking about their mothers, feel gratitude as well as guilt and resentment?

We need to lose our mothers to find ourselves. And we need to find ourselves for our daughters to live their own lives. Park Woo Ran, a psychoanalytic expert who for more than ten years has conducted over 10,000 psychotherapy and dream interpretation sessions, reaches deep into psychology research and case studies to unlock the secret behind the love-hate relationship between mothers and daughters and explain how we can protect our girls from this emotional wounding across generations.

This deep psychological bond between the mother and daughter starts to show cracks as they become older, introducing problems, both big and small, into their lives. Feelings of obsession, bitterness, resentment, longing, and gratitude get rolled into one and make the two oscillate between love and hate. In short, the mother and daughter have failed to create a healthy distance between themselves.

Then what can we do? Park says we should question the social concept of unconditional motherly love and try to bring to surface the mom’s deeply-buried wants and desires as a woman. Only then can we forge a path different from our mother’s and our daughters live a different life from our young selves.

THEN GET THE BOOK NOW! and start growing your skills to strengthen your relationships between MOMs and DAUGHTERs!

“Mother is Mother, Daughter is Daughter”

- A self-recovery guide for all of mothers and daughters by a psychoanalytic expert

- How mothers can reclaim their lives as an independent woman and human...


Advance Praise

2020~2022 Hottest Book for women in Korea, Taiwan, China, Vietnam!

2020~2022 Hottest Book for women in Korea, Taiwan, China, Vietnam!


Available Editions

ISBN 9791197845130
PRICE £10.75 (GBP)

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Featured Reviews

I enjoyed reading this as a different take on motherhood. Importantly, that none of us are perfect. We always see someone else we think is a better mother than us but know they too have their struggles.
I think many of us blame out mothers for our issues and this book discusses this and how much of an effect our parents have on us as adults.
There are many types of parents covered in this book along with stories the reader can relate to which keeps the book from feeling overly clinical.
I recommend this book to all mothers young and old along with women who feel inadequate or that have issues currently or in the past with their own mother.

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I was glad that I was alone over the weekend I read this. I came from a family where my parents were very dysfunctional and felt my life was scarred by my mother's (especially) very cruel treatment of me. I sobbed reading this ,it truly broke my heart but by the end I did feel perhaps a little more understanding of her and a bit more forgiving of myself. I will read this again when I feel less raw.

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As someone who dealt with a difficult and complicated relationship with her mum growing up this was a
great book to help process emotions and learn to accept and communicate better

Mother is Mother, Daughter is Daughter”

- A self-recovery guide for all of mothers and daughters by a psychoanalytic expert

- How mothers can reclaim their lives as an independent woman and human being

Why do mothers turn more to their daughters than sons when feeling upset or distressed? Why do mothers look upon their happily married daughters with not just pride but a hint of jealousy? Why do daughters, when thinking about their mothers, feel gratitude as well as guilt and resentment?

We need to lose our mothers to find ourselves. And we need to find ourselves for our daughters to live their own lives. Park Woo Ran, a psychoanalytic expert who for more than ten years has conducted over 10,000 psychotherapy and dream interpretation sessions, reaches deep into psychology research and case studies to unlock the secret behind the love-hate relationship between mothers and daughters and explain how we can protect our girls from this emotional wounding across generations.

This deep psychological bond between the mother and daughter starts to show cracks as they become older, introducing problems, both big and small, into their lives. Feelings of obsession, bitterness, resentment, longing, and gratitude get rolled into one and make the two oscillate between love and hate. In short, the mother and daughter have failed to create a healthy distance between themselves.

Then what can we do? Park says we should question the social concept of unconditional motherly love and try to bring to surface the mom’s deeply-buried wants and desires as a woman. Only then can we forge a path different from our mother’s and our daughters live a different life from our young selves.

THEN GET THE BOOK NOW! and start growing your skills to strengthen your relationships between MOMs and DAUGHTERs!

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Woo-ran Park is a psychoanalytic therapy specialist who runs a therapy clinic called 'Sanctuary"in Seoul, South Korea.
She left university to join a convent, where she immersed herself in the studies of spirituality and psychology. Unable to find answers to fundamental questions, she left the convent again. She is also studying Lacanian psychoanalysis.
Park is the author of several books, including Daughters Grow Up Feeding on Mothers Emotions

Translated from Korean.

I am a daughter and a mom of three, of which two are daughters.

I rarely read self-help books, I think they make you narcissistic. And some tell you this, while others claim the opposite. However, when this title came up I decided to pick it up anyway, since I have had some issues with my sweet, yet overbearing and controlling mom.
This is a book about moms and their daughters; only at the very end of this book something is said about the influence of the father.
Based on stories from patients or from her own experience, the writer shares experiences about mothers and their daughters: e.g.:
Mothers are very quick to think that it is their fault if something is wrong with one of their children, daughters are brought up serving others, always attuned to the emotions and needs of others, while boys can focus on their own games and themselves.
She also warns not to use daughters as an emotional garbage dump; it is impossible to keep your children from pain. Sometimes they have to figure things out on their own.
The first part made me depressed and insecure: you can hardly seem do it 'right' for your kid - and moms beware: you need to clean up your personal sh** first, because in the end you'll ' damage your children with personal traumas in the long run.
Being a mom, you can be in dire straits rather quickly, being too lenient, too controlling, to strict, too absent, having too high expectations… etc.., and sadly, it's mainly the daughters who become damaged in a relationship with their mothers, and they often carry these traumas with them.

Evenutally, a redeeming message is given: not everything that happens to our children can be blamed on a mother. She even softens a bit in her judgement and indicates that a mother can hardly go wrong - treat your child as you would have liked to be treated as a child.
It seems a 'good mom' is a mom who is incompetent and reflective. Pff… she had me worried there. Looks like I am not doing too bad.

Very readable and interesting look at mother-daughter relationships and issues deriving from that. I didn't know what to expect, but loved it, albeit I didn't agree on everything said in this book. A quick and interesting read.

**** 4 stars

I would like to thank Netgalley and the author for this ARC. I leave this review voluntarily.

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This is a few days delayed review, because 1: this is the first none child book I did read, and 2: the family and myself did take a few days to enjoy each others company. - thinking about it, you will have to thank this exact book for this! -

Wow, just wow! what an intense book to read, especially because I did not expect it. This book has really changed my perspective on the relationship I have with my parents, the relationship I am creating with my two children and my husband. It is written in a easy and clear way to understand, the examples are exceptionally relatable and my world really did turn on its axis!

As everything is so easy flowing while reading, I forgot about everything around me and I felt the weight of my shoulders being lifted, as things suddenly made sense! Don’t get me wrong, I really do not hate or dislike my mother, I love her very much, however our relationship has not always been the best. I understand it better now and learning/changing my behaviour towards my own two children.

Therefore, 고맙습니다 (thank you) Woo-ran Park!

5 out of 5 stars

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An interesting which gets you thinking. Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for letting me review this book

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