A Final Girl's Guide To The Horrors Of Dating
by Rory Uphold
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Pub Date 1 Oct 2025 | Archive Date 5 Oct 2025
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Description
These days, dating feels less like a rom-com and more like a horror show. So it’s time to become the Final Girl (aka the one who makes it out alive).
A Final Girl’s Guide to the Horrors of Dating is what happens when a hopeful romantic survives modern love’s monsters: ghosts, narcissists, demonic clowns, and zombie exes who refuse to stay in the past—and lives to tell the tale. Part memoir, part survival manual, this brutally honest and wickedly funny dating book is for anyone who’s been burned but still dares to believe in love.
With the sharp wit of a comedian and the candor of your most unfiltered friend, Rory walks you through the many horrors afflicting modern love. From serial cheaters to the ways we cheat ourselves, this book doesn’t just commiserate with your romantic nightmares; it arms you with the tools to rise above them. Inside these pages, you’ll learn how to:
- Spot red flags before they become full-blown horror scenes
- Break toxic dating patterns
- Stop wasting time in dead-end relationships
- Survive bed death
- Glow up after heartbreak
- Exorcize the inner demons telling you you’re too much or not enough
- Shake off shame and societal pressure around being single
- Romanticize whatever phase of life you’re in
- Become the Final Girl of your own movie
You’ll laugh, cringe, maybe even scream—but by the end, you’ll remember that the Final Girl not only makes it out alive, she thrives. And so will you.
A Note From the Publisher
*This is a dating book written for single women*
Advance Praise
“As hilarious as it is insightful. I wish I’d read this in my 30s (okay, my 20s!).” -JUDY GREER, actress (Halloween, 27 Dresses) and author of I Don't Know What You Know Me From: My Life as a Co-Star
“clear, sharp, and deeply human— a survival guide for anyone still swiping, still hoping, and still refusing to settle.” -NIKKI BOYER, award winning podcaster and executive producer of Dying for Sex
"With her signature irreverence and disarming vulnerability, Rory turns dating horror stories into battle cries. You won’t just read this, you’ll underline it, screenshot it, and send it to your group chat.” -AMY CHAN, relationship expert and bestselling author of Dating Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart
“This book is not only an instructive and heartfelt snapshot of modern relationships, it’s also HILARIOUS; it’s a delicious escapist read that had me laughing too loud (and even crying once or twice) while reading in public places.” -MEREDITH GOLDSTEIN, Love Letters columnist, The Boston Globe
“This is the perfect gift for my single friends… because giving them another scented candle feels cruel.” -BOBBY BERK, Queer Eye
Available Editions
EDITION | Ebook |
ISBN | 9798999740106 |
PRICE | US$9.99 (USD) |
PAGES | 320 |
Available on NetGalley
Featured Reviews

As a horror movie fan who has also endured the horrors of dating, I loved the construct of this book—comparing different kinds of dating experiences to the tropes, monsters, and villains we know from horror films. I worried the metaphor might wear thin after a few chapters, but it never did. That’s a credit to Rory Uphold’s sharp, funny, and powerful voice, which shines through on every page.
Each chapter is concise and easy to read, but what really elevated it for me was the structure: every section closes with actionable advice and prompts, making it as practical as it is entertaining. I also appreciated that Uphold doesn’t force a neat “happy ending” or Hollywood conclusion on the reader. Instead, she embraces the messiness of real dating while still offering thoughtful ways to reflect, learn, and move forward.
It’s witty, it’s cathartic, and it’s refreshingly honest—a guide that feels both validating and fun. A great read for anyone who has ever laughed, cried, or screamed their way through modern dating.
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