Standard Deviation

Standard Deviation by Katherine Heiny is an original, funny, heartwarming, heartbreaking story about the nature of marriage, loss and infidelity. Graham is married to Audra, a beautiful but irritating chatterbox of a woman whom he left his prim wife Elspeth for. The novel explores the complex nature of Aspergers syndrome and is filled with an interesting cast of characters. It is a joy of a book, beautifully observed and written.

Absolutely delightful, heartwarming, hilarious, and entertaining. Like a scrumptious mix of the best parts of Maria Semple's TWBD and Sarah Dunn's THE ARRANGEMENT. I wish every novel were this fun, smart, and enjoyable.

Brilliantly observed novel about bringing up an autistic child in a family circle where all of the characters seem to have their own issues interacting "normally" Not an awful lot happens but it was bright and funny, would have read it in one sitting if I'd had a little more time.

Goodreads review (the blog one is much longer!) I really enjoyed this. I don't think I'd want to be friends with Audra or Graham, but watching their life is great fun. Audra is an exhausting person to read about, let alone live with but that makes her a great subject for a book. I also really enjoyed the bittersweet portrayal of relationships and parenting and the difficulties of navigating a relationship with your ex. I know I'll be recommending this.

Standard Deviation

After being sent an email about this book, I really wanted to read it!!

I really can't recommend this book enough, it's a heart warming and heartbreaking tale of love, marriage, infidelity and origami that made me laugh out loud in some places! 5 shiny stars!

Graham lives a cosy life, with his talkative second wife, Audra, and their son, Matthew. Audra is the complete opposite of Graham’s first wife, Elspeth, and although he loves her very much, their life is full of challenges: Audra’s lack of tact, their constant rotation of house guests, infidelity, and raising a child with Asperger’s. In the middle of managing day-to-day life, Elspeth re-enters Graham’s life and he finds himself questioning his life choices, and those of the people around him.

The main thing to note about this book is that the plot isn’t particularly eventful or exciting. We follow Graham’s day-to-day as he navigates his relationships with Audra, Matthew, Elspeth and everyone else. But by no means does this make the book boring. Standard Deviation is beautifully written, and I was completely sucked in despite there not actually being an awful lot going on.

I really loved the story being from Graham’s point of view. His thoughts are relatable and amusing, which really made the book easy to read. I also loved the other characters – Audra in particular is fabulous and Graham’s devotion to her, despite everything, was really sweet and nice to read. All the supporting characters make their own little impacts, my favourite being the origami club because they are, quite simply, adorable weirdos.

The one and only thing I disliked about this book is that there were a couple of unanswered questions at the end (what was Audra doing at that hotel?) which was annoying but also kinda reflective of real life, so maybe that was intentional.

I was genuinely upset when the book ended. I could have read about Graham and his life forever.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

The story of Graham, Audra and Matthew as told by Graham, who is experiencing parent-hood for the first time and marriage for the second time. It is wryly funny, sometimes laugh-out-loud funny and Audra in particular is a force to be reckoned with, she can make conversation with absolutely anyone and usually becomes their friend. Matthew is (probably) Asperger's but this isn't made the only focus of the book rather it is part of the rich tapestry of life. Some very funny scenes and some poignant ones, an excellent entertaining read.

Standard deviation is a funny, heart warming and, at times, poignant story of love, friendships and family life. It focuses on Graham, in his fifties with a younger second wife, Audra - the mother of his child, Matthew, who has Aspergers.

Audra is so hard to 'sum up' because she's such an effervescent, fun person: quirky, likeable, and very chatty, but also at times incredibly frustrating! I absolutely loved reading about her but could completely see why living with her could drive Graham mad sometimes, as they're so different in many ways and she doesn't always make the best decisions... But then, neither does Graham, as this book proves.

The story is so lovely with some emotional parts too. It's largely made up of elements of everyday life - perhaps not your everyday life, as the reader, but what is for some people every day life - and told in such a funny, entertaining way and mostly from Graham's point of view. The very different characters and their very different lives combine to create a narrative that completely drew me in and left me wanting to read more. I felt like I'd really got to know the characters and, on the whole, really liked them. There was no need for high drama; the elements of every day life (with some temptation and difficulties thrown in along the way) is enough for this novel. It's just fantastic.

Standard Deviation made me smile countless times, and laugh out loud even more! The characters are firmly ingrained in my mind even after finishing the book, and I would happily read much more about them. A truly great, refreshing read!

I think this is a wonderful book about relationships. About give and take. I warmed more to Graham and Audra as the story evolved. Enjoyed the little side story of his ex wife coming into the relationship, and the twist. The Asperger relationship was well researched and developed.
The whole idea of the a origami club and the I put from the parents was fantastic.
I questioned Graham and Audras relationship many times, and this was answered in the last sentence. They are survivors. Perhaps that is the truth of a good marriage. Work through the storms together.
I enjoyed it. Didn't think I would initially.

Omigosh! I loved this book and all the characters! Kept me up very late at night! Fun read!

This book introduces two main facets that grow during the book both centered around Graham. The descriptions of Grahams ex wife, Elspeth and his current wife, Audra describe one prong of the standard deviation whilst the story revolving around Matthew, Grahams son, and his life is the other prong. The twisting of friendships that Matthew finds, initially through his obsessive love of origami are so emotional and heart rending. It is so easy to relate to the denial of Graham and Matthew about their special son and the comments they make . The book is written with lots of humour and some sad parts. I loved the fact that as parents they read that autism is often genetic and how they discuss who it could come from. A lovely book showing what life is like with an autistic child in the family but also a wonderful family life novel that the reader can at some point relate to.

Katherine Heiny has written a smart and joyful debut novel about a New York family and their everyday life. It is written through the perspective of Graham, in his early sixties, married to his second wife, the eccentric Audra, a force of nature, whom he adores, and their 10 year old autistic son, Matthew, for whom they will do anything. The title, Standard Deviation, refers to the term used by a doctor in categorising just how far from the norm Matthew is. It might be inferred to apply to Audra, her lack of social filter in her conversations with others, and her extraordinary capacity to network, for the benefit of those in her life and strangers but more particularly for Matthew. Graham probably perceives himself as the normal one, although perhaps not, just how normal are any of us?

It begins with Graham reflecting on just how different the two women he married are, the ice cool, organised Elspeth and the voluble, messy, and warm Audra. This is a story of love, loss, everyday travails, and the moving struggles of bringing up Matthew to experience as normal a childhood as possible. Matthew's obsession and talent with Origami leads to the entry of Clayton, Manny, and other OCD characters into the family, trying the patience of Audra and Graham, but endured stoically. Graham puts up with random strangers and others queuing up to stay in the family home whilst he endeavours to serve up appetising and gourmet meals for all. The re-entry of Elspeth into their lives leads to Graham and Audra double dating and for Graham to ponder whether he is with the right woman as he compares them. Events conspire to place strains on the marriage. We observe the stresses of organising United Nations day, having Papa Stan to stay, Lorelei and Doug leaving and Matthew becoming more independent. The most moving elements outline the challenges and joy of raising Matthew through the years. As Graham puts it, he will tolerate spaghetti marinara because of love.

This is a wonderful story that comprises of all that is life, love, marriage, and family in New York. Heiny is a gifted comedic writer who provides keen observations and wry insights into the state of the family. The creation and development of the unforgettable Audra is magnificent, she is the star of the novel and will live on in my memories. I loved Matthew, he feels authentic as a character and the condition of autism seems realistic. Graham is extraordinary in his ordinariness, his ability to tolerate and most of all, his capacity to love. A warm, funny, and compelling read with an intimate narrative. Cannot recommend it highly enough. Thanks to HarperCollins 4th Estate for an ARC.

Standard deviation - Katherine Heiny

I never knew I was the kind of person who would snort with laughter at the idea of some one's mule dying, but it seems I am

Hmmmm .........took me a while to get into step with this book - at the beginning it doesn't seem to take breath, with all the character background descriptions tumbling out from situation to situation. I also don't feel particularly warm towards Graham and Audra with the subsidiary characters feeling a little flat and flavourless. This feeling lasted until about the 46% mark when things took a sweet and sour turn.
If you can shelve what to me seems a 1950's scripted approach to socialisation - maybe that's how all people get along in New York - who am I to comment I've never been to the city let alone a dinner party there - you will find this book Clever and quick witted.
It has a captivating narrative and the most enjoyable sentence structure I've ever read, with lines like - their eyes caught like two coat hangers before you shook them free of each other.

For the most part I enjoyed meandering through this story, and when it came I appreciated the operatic crescendo of the thanksgiving dinner party. Both the most hilarious and cringeworthy chapter in the entire book as well as the point I learned to love both Audra and Graham.

To me it was like a woody Allen movie starring Barbara Streisand and George Segal but with everyone seemingly having a place on the ASD scale.
Verdict - Much like real life then. I loved it.

I am going to say right now that I loved this book. I loved everything about it. I loved each and every character, I loved the writing, I loved the ending.
This is the story of Graham and his wife Audra, who live with their son Matthew in Manhattan. And that's it. This book is the story of their everyday lives. And it's wonderful.
Matthew has Asperger's, and I have to say that I didn't know much about Asperger's before reading this. This book deals with the difficulties of being a parent of a child with Asperger's, and it's about the various problems of just being an adult in today's world.
This book is gossipy, it's warm, it's just so relevant in the way that these characters interact with each other, and the world that they live in.
The book is written in third person, but it is all from Graham's point of view. We see everything through Graham's eyes, hear his thoughts, live each day with him. Graham is a successful man, lives a good life and provides well for his family. He loves his son and his wife deeply, yet, when his first wife comes back into his life he finds himself thinking of her and helping her. Similarly, when he thinks his wife is having an affair he has doubts about her, and also about himself. He is such a real, human character who is easy to relate to, and warm to, and empathise with. I was very, very impressed with the way the author wrote Graham's role in this book.
This is most definitely going to be one of my favourite books of the year, probably of all time, and I will definitely be buying a hard copy of this book. I'll be reading it over and over, I'm sure.
Highly, highly recommend.

Oh wow, this book is just fantastic! It is smart, emotional, compelling and laugh out loud funny.

Standard Deviation examines marriage and parenthood, the joys and struggles that come with each and the things people do to survive their personal daily grind. It's the story of parents Graham and Audra, their son Matthew and the people that weave in and out of their lives.

The writing flows effortlessly and the jokes are constant and hilarious. This is a marvelous book that I highly recommend.

Many thanks to the publisher Harper Collins and Netgalley for an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Unforgettable marriage, hilarious story that ultimately goes nowhere but does so in a remarkably entertaining way

Graham is married to Audra, his second wife. They have a son, Matthew, whose Aspergers' sees them having to take part in his origami obsession. Audra is a force of nature, a Streisand-like 'Dolly' who seems involved in every situation, knows everyone, has a finger in every pie, can get anything done, always has advice to give.

She's also the most entertaining character I've come across in a long time. Entirely unassuming and unabashed, she'll talk about anything anywhere:
"(Audra) had once interrupted a complete stranger on a crosstown bus to say that the symptoms she was describing sounded like bacterial vaginitis"

Audra also has a habit of inviting guests into their home after the briefest of acquaintances. Graham looks on bemused, admiring his 'pretty' (he calls her this repeatedly) wife, he's embarrassed but also proud of her.

Graham himself is rather adorably funny, clearly in love with his wife and son, it's quite touching at times. The story sees him trying to come to terms with his son's eccentricities, his wife's, and he finds himself back in touch with the wife he left for Audra - Elspeth, her polar opposite.

Matthew, their eleven year old, is like Audra in that we watch him as an outsider. He has his obsessions, we watch his parents anxiously trying to encourage his friendships, loyally taking him to his clubs. It's touching, and quite an insight into parenting a child with Aspergers'.

This is the sort of story where not much really 'happens': it's Graham's journey through a few months of his life, but it's marvellously amusing and such a warm read with a married couple you've never seen the like of. It's totally bonkers at times, Graham also lends it a core of sense but also the heart and soul. Audra is almost a 'manic dream pixie' of an older woman, a law unto herself, Graham is her straight man.

It's an unusual perspective and story, but hard to dislike I would say. I did finish it thinking I could have kept on going for weeks, reading more about their lives, the people they meet, seeing how Matthew continues to grow up. It ends without the story really reaching a 'high', but some elements are resolved and plots wrapped up.

I loved this, though it's hard to say quite why as it meanders along merrily without you realising you're quickly approaching the end.

I would definitely recommend this, you'll smile, cringe, laugh your way through and just adore the characters eccentricities.

With thanks to Netgalley for the advance e-copy.

If there is a book to describe the phrase, "most men lead lives of quiet desperation," this is it. Very funny, full of accurate observations, and insight. Bitchy but accurate - a great read.

I was a little unsure at first but the quality of the writing is so high that I wanted to read more. Soon I was totally immersed in the lives of the wonderful eccentric characters.
On the surface, not a great deal happens but the gentle charming prose kept me wanting more. I loved all the quirky people and the narrator's bewilderment at the vagaries of his life.
Highly recommended

Thanks so much to Harper 4th Estate for the opportunity to read this brilliant book.

I wasn’t expecting a family/relationship tale to make me laugh so much, yet still deal with some serious themes of individuality and personal interaction. I was transfixed by the characters from beginning to end, and the wonderful Audra in particular, of course. My opinion of her kept shifting - ditsy on the one hand, seemingly completely lacking a social filter, yet on the other hand a consummate multi-tasker and an astute networker, usually in the interests of her autistic son. The effect on the family of Matthew’s disability is sensitively handled - especially poignant are Audra and Graham’s hopes and fears for him as he takes tentative steps into independence. Such is the author’s skill that even those characters at the remotest edges of the main action make a vivid impact and the dialogue is spot on. A delightful book and a new favourite author for me - as a result I have ordered a copy of her collection of short stories published a couple of years ago, can’t wait to read it.

Where to start trying to explain this quirky book? Told by New Yorker, Graham Cavanaugh - a sixty year old financial man, keen cook, devoted father of Matthew, ex husband of Elsbeth and husband of Audra.

Graham wonders how he can have have married two such different women. Elsbeth was cool, self contained, almost obsessively neat and controlled. None of these adjectives could ever be applied to Audra! Audra lives in a state of almost chaos. There is no-one she won't talk to, knows the ins and out of the lives of people who have only touched theirs peripherally. Every stray person with nowhere to go, ends up arriving for dinner, sometimes staying for months- something Graham accepts with gentle humour and compassion.

They both love their son Matthew who has Asperger's Syndrome. They try hard to encourage his friendships, help him make sense of his world and try to fit in with his current fads. When Matthew develops a passion for origami we are introduced to even more wacky characters- who all end up being invited to Thanksgiving Dinner.

The title 'Standard Deviation' refers to how far from the 'norm' Matthew is, but reading this book it leaves you wondering what is the 'norm'- certainly very few of these engaging characters seem entirely what one would consider normal!

At turns this is a hilarious and sad book. It is one I would recommend, as its appeal covers many genres. Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for letting me read and review this fascinating book.

4★
“People came to Audra for advice— well, no, not advice, that was the wrong word. They came to her for secrets, for gossip, for connections— for intel, that was the term— about everything. Friends sought her expertise on their job interviews, on their children’s chances of getting into private schools, on marriage counselors, on hairdressers, on au pairs, on restaurants, on shops, on neighborhood watches, on gyms, on doctors, on internet providers. People asked her about local politics and she didn’t even know who the mayor of New York City was! (Well, she probably did know who the mayor was, but it wasn’t a certainty by any means.)”

Audra is Graham’s second wife, younger than his first and mother of ten-year-old Matthew, who has Asperger’s and is currently fascinated with origami.

The author tells the story from Graham’s point of view, but not in his voice. I think he has lived with Audra so long now that his thinking is often the stream-of-consciousness that her speech patterns are. She races breathlessly from one subject to another off on a random tangent to some other vaguely connected fact or opinion until she (usually) seems to arrive back at the starting point. I don’t recall her losing her train of thought the way I do when I veer off course the same way.

She’s the kind of person who, by the end of a taxi ride to the airport, would know the driver’s kids’ names, the schools they go to, and the state of their health. Not only that, she would have given her advice on the schools in their area and the local doctors, and the driver would feel warm and friendly towards her, not annoyed as you might have thought, and the driver and family are probably coming to dinner when Audra returns home.

[Disclaimer: I chat with taxi drivers about all sorts of things, too, unless they’ve got their Bluetooth earpiece and handsfree phone going and are jabbering away a mile-a-minute to a friend (never the base, usually a mate or another driver) and ignoring me. I also sit in the front seat (which we do in Australia, particularly men do), unless it’s full of their books and lunch, which is how they claim their territorial rights. And once, I even wrote a statutory declaration for a court hearing for a driver who was accused of stopping in the wrong place to pick me up, ( he did, because I was in the wrong place, limping with a walking stick after an operation, and he took pity on me), so I gave him my name and address and said contact me if you get into trouble over this, so he did, but like Audra, I digress. ]

Audra knew everything about almost everybody at the ends of her long, spidery web of contacts.

“But there was no doubt that Audra knew people, and she knew things about people, and often she knew things about people who knew other people who knew people who had brothers who worked in the State Department and it was very helpful when your passport got stolen.”

The book begins light-heartedly enough, with Graham providing the predictable, stable counterpoint to his vivacious, pretty wife who keeps adopting stray houseguests. For example:

“Last year the locksmith who came to fix the dead bolt ended up sleeping in the den for two nights because his wife had stopped speaking to him due to the fact that he insisted on cutting the dead skin off his feet with a very small pair of scissors instead of using a pumice stone. (‘Have you ever heard of anything so ludicrous?’ Audra asked. Yes, he had: letting the locksmith sleep over. Although the locksmith had repaired their toaster for free.)”

Surprisingly, Graham just sets another place at the table. He is the chief cook and bottle-washer, and a gourmet cook he is. He loves it. He tells us often what he’s making and occasionally reminisces about a particularly fine meal. Turns out that his first wife, Elspeth, a beautiful, icy, blonde Scandinavian-looking lawyer, was a gourmet cook as well, and they shared that passion (among other things).

Audra wants them all to be friends, first and second wives, which leads to some interesting dynamics and Graham’s somewhat rekindled interest in her and her uncluttered, sleek, ultra-modern apartment compared to his cluttered, child-centred family mess.

Michael is a nice kid. Graham is just really realising what life is going to be like for Michael as he gets older and doesn’t have parents to try to make friends for him, and it breaks his heart. When they discover there is an Origami Club, Michael is ecstatic, and of course the members are much older and eccentric, but Michael loves it. There’s much talk of the various creations and how many folds they take. [I assume they are the real deal, but I’m not obsessed enough with accuracy to look it up. Maybe the author has lived through this in her life. There are worse fixations.]

They mostly don’t go out without Michael, since he was an extremely difficult baby and child, and they still fear he may have outbursts if they aren’t there to keep him calm. So Graham is feeling a bit tied down. Both he and Audra have had plenty of other adventurous liaisons, and she frequently refers openly to things she did with some other guy. But it didn’t mean anything and she didn’t know him very well, so that’s okay, then.

He’s starting to get nostalgic about Elspeth and her clean, Scandinavian style. They were married for several years. How bad could it have been?

“. . . often when Graham himself neatened up, when he pushed in the dining room chairs, or centered a candlestick on a table, Elspeth would come along right behind him and readjust the chair or candlestick by an inch. It was as though she didn’t want objects in the apartment to get the wrong idea and start thinking Graham was the boss.”

That bad. It’s no wonder he enjoys a good drop at the end of the day before and while he’s concocting his exotic meals.

“The first drink was unbeatable: delicious, relaxing, restorative— practically medicinal. He had read that alcohol didn’t enter your bloodstream for twenty minutes after the first sip, but everyone knew that was nonsense; it started working as soon as you poured it into the glass.”

[I couldn’t agree more. I know, alcohol is a poisonous destroyer of internal organs with few, if any, redeeming physical features – unless you’re living in the Old West and having your tooth pulled or a limb amputated, in which case they ply you with whiskey, but I can’t imagine there’s enough in the world to make either of those things bearable! Plus, I am a fan of the excellent book, "High Sobriety: my year without booze" by Aussie author Jill Stark, so I really do know better!]

I realise I’ve quoted a lot and believe me, it’s that kind of book. It’s like reading a continuing series of articles or maybe the script for a good sit-com. Almost too light, but with enough truths that you will probably recognise a few things about yourself that others may find quirky. I just hope they find you and me as appealing as Graham finds Audra.

Thanks to NetGalley and HarperCollins for the preview copy from which I’ve quote (so much!). Quotes may have changed, but I’m sure the spirit hasn’t.

A seemingly hilarious emotionally scatterbrained read, that will have you chuckling out loud. But will also make perfect sense. Just so enjoyable.
Loved it.

What a joyful find was this book. Audra is a genius creation and hopefully will come again. Wonderfully readable, skilfully written and oh so laugh out loud funny. A book to tell every friend to read.

There are no words to describe how much I ADORED this book. Very similar to Maria Semple and Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney, this book was beautifully written and incredibly descriptive. It was laugh-out-loud funny and moving in equal parts and Audra must be one of the best comedy characters ever created. I mourned the end of this novel when it came to an end - one of my favourite books for 2017 so far. Simply incredible/

Funny, witty, clever and sassy and Audra is a wonderful comic invention.

This is so true to life and I found myself alternatively nodding and laughing.

A great beach read - but better written than most.

It's unusual for me to actually laugh out loud in a book, but this frequently tickled me. The characters are lovely with some fantastic dialogue. I usually opt for psychological thrillers but this made a really pleasant change. It was a light easy read, but somehow thought provoking. I would definitely recommend a read of this to pass an afternoon. I have definitely been encouraged to try different genres now as this was sharp, funny yet sensitive.

At first I didn't think I would enjoy this book as it didn't seem to have any plot and I had no idea where it was going. However, once I settled in to it and understood that the whole point was to not have an actual plot as such I found it surprisingly enjoyable. The book is told through the voice of Graham, married to his second wife Audra whom he has a teenage son with. The character of Audra was funny, I laughed out loud at some of her actions in places. The ending though, it just kind of ended, nothing wrapped up as such, but I guess that is the whole point of this style of book.

Thank you to Netgalley and Harper Collins for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.