4.75/5⭐
Content warnings: abuse, homophobia, substance abuse.
Thank you to the publisher for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This memoir is deeply honest, vulnerable, and raw. The author does not shy away from the immense pain that shaped his life, and that unflinching openness makes this a powerful yet emotionally difficult read.

My only critique, if I'd even call it such, lies in how the book handles forgiveness. While I appreciated that the memoir ends with the author discovering a path toward forgiveness, that portion of the story felt surprisingly brief—only a couple of chapters—and leaned more heavily on spiritual relief than I had anticipated. That said, I found the author’s perspective on forgiveness being easier once an abuser is no longer alive to be especially compelling. It helped me better understand why my own sense of forgiveness feels so difficult and unresolved.

One of the most emotionally resonant moments for me was the scene with the author’s father on his deathbed. It was painfully relatable—particularly the sudden expression of love from a parent who was never emotionally open before. That moment rang deeply true and stayed with me long after finishing the book.

Despite my initial reservations about the ending, this memoir is a courageous and heart-wrenching exploration of trauma, survival, and self-understanding. I am glad I read it, and I think it will resonate strongly with readers who value emotional honesty.

I went into the novel thinking it was a retelling of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde based on the title. It was not long before I realized why it was given the title Forgiving Dr. Jekyll.

This is an honest memoir by the author of growing up in the 1970s, an era where certain topics were taboo to talk about. They had words for all sorts of things, mostly people that were different and Paul’s father treated him differently than his siblings, mostly because Paul didn’t live up to his ideal of what a man should be. Paul didn’t like sports. His main hobby was reading. By today’s standards there is nothing wrong with reading. It is great to see men read but at that time sports was what made a man.

It was heartbreaking when the author started to avoid his father. He did not want to be in the same room with him. Even more heartbreaking is when his father accidently expressed how he truly felt about him. ‘Sissy’. What a word that must have been back in the day. It seems like nothing now, but back then, it must have been the worst thing to be called, especially by your own father.

The beginning of the book starts with his father’s funeral before we go back in time to when he was growing and all the abuse that his father inflicted on him. He was mostly verbally abusive before it escalated as he got older to physical abuse. Both things no one around knew except maybe his mother and siblings but the people that knew his father had no idea.

‘My father wasn’t a drinker but stopped in occasionally to catch up on town gossip with Dom. He’d invariably run into one or two admirers who made sure they shook hands with him. They were always men who went out of their way to bow to my father. To them, he was the epitome of a masculine family man—someone to idolize. But now, all the attendees at the wake, men and women, had life sucked out of them and told stories with downward gazes. Their remembrances weren’t empty words but testimonials of their genuine love for this man. I looked at them trying to mask my confusion. They had no idea about his brutal and violent side. It seemed impossible for them to imagine. But as the oak door closed after the wake and we prepared for the funeral—it was all I could think about.’

This reminds of the scene from It Ends With Us, where the main character attends her father’s funeral and people are staying positive while during her speech she says nothing because she has no favorable things to say about him.

All good things that people remembered about Paul’s father must have been like a shell shock to him. Almost like he was two different people. How he was around his family and how he was around neighbors, coworkers and friends.

It makes you wonder how often this occurred. How often were people in abusive households and the neighbors and friends being none the wiser?

He went through so much with finding and accepting himself as well as forgiving his father. I just wish we knew about his father to understand why he treated him that way. But sometimes you don’t get answers like you want.