Ski bum, photographer, Zen student—Z is for Zen is a wild ride toward awakening

This is the story of what happens when a lost twenty-something meets the uncompromising world of traditional Zen Buddhism.

From the mountains of Colorado to monasteries in Japan and silent halls in New York City, Z is for Zen offers an honest, illuminating portrait of awakening in the modern world. Equal parts memoir, spiritual reflection, and cultural commentary, this book is a testament to resilience, presence, and the mysterious quest for enlightenment. Think Eat Pray Love meets Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, with historical texture and literary depth.

Woven with personal narrative, Zen history, and poetic vignettes, this memoir offers an intimate look at spiritual practice over time. Readers of Natalie Goldberg, Peter Matthiessen, and Ruth Ozeki will find familiar terrain—a woman’s story of spiritual grit often missing from traditional Zen literature.

The author was fortunate to practice with one Zen master, the Roshi, for thirty-five years until his retirement. But as the #MeToo movement cast new light on long-standing power dynamics in spiritual communities, she was forced to confront the shadow side of her teacher and the tradition she revered. In the end, she had to let it and her Zen teacher go amidst a scandal that threw the ancient tradition into a modern world. It was a last great lesson that ultimately led to deep understanding.